Well this sucks..... Really bad day at work

[Medic82]

Some of you know that I work in a gun store and a shooting range and  today we experienced something that is probably every ranges nightmare. A member of our club committed suicide with one of the guns that he rented from us.

I can't talk about it to my friends since this is pretty seriouse and under investigation, sure I can talk to my girlfriend about it but its not the same really and I feel the need to let it out and this is a fairly "safe" place to vent stuff.

It is pretty quiet at the range beeing summer and people are still on vacation so luckily he was alone at the range so nobody else saw it when he did it. It was my boss that found him when he was giving a customer a tour of the facility and he called 911. The customer ran up and told me what happened on his way outside to meet the ambulance so I ran down to see if there was something that I could do, I saw him lying on his side with a pool of blood coming from his head and he had Cheyne-Stokes respiration so I knew that it was bad and that was nothing I could do to help since I had no first aid equipment that could handle this and the ambulance arrived little under a minute later so professional help was there pretty quick.

The customer that my boss was showing around took this pretty bad so he decided to take up the offer to see a professional that they have at the ER. My boss is ok I think, at least it looks like it.

I am fine, I have seen way worse as a volunteer medic and I am used to handling stuff like this. But this was my first suicide and even when I have experienced friends taking theire own life it still makes me think why anybody want to do it. When people that I know have taken their own life I know what they have been through, but this time it was a person that I don't know other than he has been to the range a couple of times so it was nothing personal, but it just makes me think about what drove him to do it. Me and another guy at work stayed behind and cleaned up the mess after the forensic team was finished. It really was not that big of a  mess and the forensic team had cleaned up the worst so it was not that big deal.

A well, it has sure been quite a day and it feels good getting it of my chest.

[kirk13]

smurf!

My sympathies to all on you at the range,and to those the man left behind!

I know with my club,any mental health issues that are in official record would be flagged up during our application for probationary membership. Again,during our probation,and even thereafter,there's a tendency to watch for...odd...behaviour.

Terrible,terrible thing to happen

[detron]

I am sorry about this, and I feel your pain. 

a suicide can be hard to talk about, and yet talking is a great therapy.

I discovered a suicide when I was in the Navy, and talking was one of the best things I did.  I wish your co-workers and yourself well.

[Medic82]

Thanks Kirk.

We don't have a system like that in Norway, it's only when you apply to the police for your own gun that any mental healt issues that is in the offical records are revealed. Other than that there is no screening of the members.

[Aloha]

Sorry to hear about this awful tragedy.  I dont think we will ever know "why" people take their own lives. 

I had a great friend who at 32 took his life.  It was and still is very hard to swallow.  He and I had plans that night to go out and talk and blow off steam.  He wrote me a letter telling me he was sorry then took his life after hours at work.  When he didn't show up at home his roommate called around and someone from work said he told them he was gonna lock up.  Needless to say he never left and was found several hours later.  I was called by the police to come to the scene because the letter he wrote. 

My younger brothers father took his life when I was 6.  He and my mom were having problems but he also was a bit unstable.  He was a Vietnam Vet and according to later stories saw a lot of bad things.  My older brother and I found his body however we didnt realize he was dead.  We thought he was faking asleep so we called our mom. 

You may also find comfort in talking to a professional even tho you have seen a lot as a medic.  Suicide messes with you mind and trying to figure out "why" can really leave hurt.  Wishing you and you work mates all the best.  I also hope his family finds comfort in each other during this painful time.   

[Chako]

Talk about a bad day.

I will share a little story that blew me away, and still does. In my first year at University, I was among a group of students in the student lounge and somehow the topic came up about suicide. I told everyone that I couldn't relate as I never had a single thought of suicide. I then asked the assembled group, and all but 2 others raised their hands that they had thought of suicide at least once in their life. I was floored. Here I thought I was in the majority...only to find I was a minority. Mental health issues are bigger than one can comprehend.

My thoughts go out to that guy's family. He may no longer suffer, but unfortunately, the family's has only begun.

[derekmac]

Ah man, I am so sorry to hear this!  Of course, we're all here for you, so please reach out if needed. 

Suicide is something I've never understood.  I look at it as the cowards way out, and something I could never, ever think of doing.  I couldn't do that to my family, no matter how much I was hurting.

[Medic82]

Sorry to hear about this awful tragedy.  I dont think we will ever know "why" people take their own lives. 

I had a great friend who at 32 took his life.  It was and still is very hard to swallow.  He and I had plans that night to go out and talk and blow off steam.  He wrote me a letter telling me he was sorry then took his life after hours at work.  When he didn't show up at home his roommate called around and someone from work said he told them he was gonna lock up.  Needless to say he never left and was found several hours later.  I was called by the police to come to the scene because the letter he wrote. 

My younger brothers father took his life when I was 6.  He and my mom were having problems but he also was a bit unstable.  He was a Vietnam Vet and according to later stories saw a lot of bad things.  My older brother and I found his body however we didnt realize he was dead.  We thought he was faking asleep so we called our mom. 

You may also find comfort in talking to a professional even tho you have seen a lot as a medic.  Suicide messes with you mind and trying to figure out "why" can really leave hurt.  Wishing you and you work mates all the best.  I also hope his family finds comfort in each other during this painful time.

Yeah, I know how it is to lose a good friend through suicide and it really sucks.

I really feel fine and I know that I probably never will know why he killed himself. I don't think I need to see a professional but I have a bunch of paramedic friends that I can talk too if I ever need it

[Medic82]

Ah man, I am so sorry to hear this!  Of course, we're all here for you, so please reach out if needed. 

Suicide is something I've never understood.  I look at it as the cowards way out, and something I could never, ever think of doing.  I couldn't do that to my family, no matter how much I was hurting.

That is also my thoughts exactly.  But as Dan says, I never have had a problem with mental health and never thought about it.

[jerseydevil]

Sorry to hear this.    I was an EMT up at college, and responded to a suicide at an apartment.  Guy had been dead for two days.  I knew the guy too, which made it suck even more.  Talking to someone definitely helped.

[Medic82]

It sucks that something like this have happened and there is little we can do about it. I handle stuff like this pretty good, don't know how I would have taken it if it was a friend or a loved one though :/

Thanks for all the kind words guys.

[Monrogue]

Ah man, I am so sorry to hear this!  Of course, we're all here for you, so please reach out if needed. 

Suicide is something I've never understood.  I look at it as the cowards way out, and something I could never, ever think of doing.  I couldn't do that to my family, no matter how much I was hurting.

This is how I feel as well.  I can't imagine what it must take to make a person think they and others are better off if they just end it all.  It's a sad thing, but even sadder for the family/friends left behind questioning why. 

I myself have never personally dealt with any suicides, but my father did with his father.  I had always thought he had died of cancer, but learned otherwise a few years back.  I was very young as I have no memories of him, but he decided that was the route to go as he was dying anyway, and likely suffering.  My aunt (the youngest of all of them) is the one who found him.  I can't imagine finding a loved one like that. 

I'm sorry you and others have had to deal with this type of thing.  As many of us have said, we're here for anyone who needs to vent

[Zed]

Really sorry to hear this  talking definitely helps and we are here listening  take care ,

[Philby]

That's terrible, sorry to hear this. Look out for each other, it could hit you later in the year.

[Sweety-Sama]

I don't want to say to much. I'm not good with this.
I wish you and your co-worker and boss the possibility to get this worked out for yourself. I can't imagine how this must be to find some one like this.
I hope this man found his freedom.

[comis]

It sucks that something like this have happened and there is little we can do about it. I handle stuff like this pretty good, don't know how I would have taken it if it was a friend or a loved one though :/

Thanks for all the kind words guys.

I have experienced a few deaths in the past and the closest one happened to a good friend of mine long ago, sometime after college.  He was murdered by a court claimed insane person, and my friend was found dead in a bathroom, next to a bus exchange.  Even though the same person had demonstrated violent behavior many times in the past, the court could only put him back in an asylum based on his condition(I am sure he would be free to go after a year, just like what he did in the past). 

For a long time, the sadness and the rage lied deep within me, and it took me a few years before I could stop thinking about the whole thing on a daily basis.  Talking to mutual friends help some, but it is just difficult to make any sense out of the whole thing. 

Sometimes things just happen for no particular reason, and we may not be able to do anything different even if we could relive it again.  It is times like these that we need to be strong and collected, and keep on moving.

Hope you will feel normal soon, and since you have had experience dealing with deaths, maybe you could also support your boss and your co-workers too.  If you need to just vent, we are always here for you.

[AimlessWanderer]

Really sorry to hear this Kenneth  I have never been in a situation like that, so I can't fully relate to it.

Glad to hear you are managing this well though, and that you have people (your medic friends) that you can turn to if needed.

[Medic82]

I feel perfectly fine and today was like any other day for me. My boss is taking this pretty good and my co-worker that I had a little chat with today is taking this better than expected so it looks like everyone at work is OK.

But this is something that I feel I need to share with someone and this is one of the few places that I feel comfortable doing that.

[AimlessWanderer]

I feel perfectly fine and today was like any other day for me. My boss is taking this pretty good and my co-worker that I had a little chat with today is taking this better than expected so it looks like everyone at work is OK.

But this is something that I feel I need to share with someone and this is one of the few places that I feel comfortable doing that.

Now THAT I can relate to 

[Top-Gear-24]

Ah man, I am so sorry to hear this!  Of course, we're all here for you, so please reach out if needed. 

Suicide is something I've never understood.  I look at it as the cowards way out, and something I could never, ever think of doing.  I couldn't do that to my family, no matter how much I was hurting.

And what if it's "the family" who do the hurting ...

Some people have absolutely nobody or nothing to live for anymore, and not all of us can count on support of their family in times like that, for some the family members are the ones who turn their live into a living hell.  Or some people may have lost the most important person(s) in their lives and are left behind all alone.  So I think it's a bit harsh calling them cowards without knowing what drove them to such a thing ... (no offence meant, I used to have the same idea about it like you and so many others, but the last 5 years or so I had to change my point of view on this).

A couple of weeks ago there was a suicide in the hospital where I work, I can't go into the details because I'm bounded by professional secrecy (and the hospital is very strict about this), but sad enough, sometimes the "strangers" who find the person are the ones who care the most about what happened, which might explain why the person commited suicide in the first place ...

Also,having a companion for life (and I'm not talking about the Spirit Road Tour ...) , be it husband or wife, and/or having kids can be a life saver for some, I know they've pulled me through some rough times in the past, and I'm pretty sure they will have to do it again, somewhere in the future.

As always, this is just my humble opinion, and I do not want to hurt or offend anyone with it  .

I'm sorry this happened at your work Medic82, I hope you and the other people who were there can find a way to cope with it.  Talking about it, be it on the internet with a bunch of weirdos who collect tools and knives, is a good thing for sure.

[VictorLouis]

Goodness, that's a tough thing to see...and have to live with. Sorry it went down.
We've had our share here in my city, also. On old co-worker was working his (other) job at a range when someone chose that as their 'out'.

[JAfromMn]

Sorry to read this


Suicide is a sad sad thing I know way to much about.

[Medic82]

Well I am still doing fine and so are everybody else at work. The customer that found the guy with my boss that was notably disturbed by it droped by with his wife today to buy some guns and he was doing very good.

The police called today to get some answers too some questions the family had and we officially got the word that he is dead. The police probably slipped up and asked if we knew he was sick but would not elaborate on details.

We also got the question if it would be ok if the relatives came by for a visit, either just to see the building from the outsids or even go down on the range and see the place where he did it. I said that it was ok and we also could arrange it before opening hours or that we could keep closed for their visit.

Now that is one thing I am not looking forward to, relatives is the one thing I am not comfortable with or handle any good, especially if one of them have a breakdown. But they where ambivalent about visiting so it might never happen.

[Medic82]

So I left work early today and when I just got home my co-worker sendt me a text and said that the relatives where on theire way. I feelt a bit guilty that he should meet the family without me or my boss there and just one of my friends that is working there part time and learned about the suicide today.

But I really had nothing to be worried about since the meeting went pretty good. The family got to see the range and where he shot himself and they got answers to many of the questions they had. I felt that I should have been there since my co-worker have only worked there little over a month but he said that everything went well. We learned that he was paranoid and schizofrenic and the parents were amazed that he even had gotten to the rang and attended 2 classes.

My co-worker said that they got closure and that it was good for them to see the range and that he felt really sorry for them for they where really nice people and he got the impression that he came from a loving home.


Man..... This week have sucked big time and to top it off I recieved a box in the mail with a SAK in it that I won some time ago from Travis.... It feels like I am surrounded by death :-/

[gregozedobe]

.... It feels like I am surrounded by death :-/

Remember you are also surrounded by your live friends here at MTo and we are always ready to listen