Mall Ninja - And proud of it

[detron]

Er,ok,I think I might qualify

you sort of look like this



    just teasing  (but you do)   

[Mextreme]

Er,ok,I think I might qualify

I think the bowler hat eliminates the mall ninja waves transmitted very effectively.
In my definition a real mall ninja does not have a sense of distance to themselves enough to carry a bowler hat with camo in such a graceful manner.

[SAK Guy]

Er,ok,I think I might qualify

I think the bowler hat eliminates the mall ninja waves transmitted very effectively.
In my definition a real mall ninja does not have a sense of distance to themselves enough to carry a bowler hat with camo in such a graceful manner.

+1 Kirky owns that look!   

[kirk13]

Er,ok,I think I might qualify

I think the bowler hat eliminates the mall ninja waves transmitted very effectively.
In my definition a real mall ninja does not have a sense of distance to themselves enough to carry a bowler hat with camo in such a graceful manner.

+1 Kirky owns that look!   

Thank you both

[Grathr]

Er,ok,I think I might qualify

I think the bowler hat eliminates the mall ninja waves transmitted very effectively.
In my definition a real mall ninja does not have a sense of distance to themselves enough to carry a bowler hat with camo in such a graceful manner.

+1 Kirky owns that look!   

Kirk in that picture makes me think of that guy that suddenly appears out of nowhere to save the protagonists in post apocalypse movies and books.


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[Aloha]

Detron I wouldn't consider you mailninja bother.  Kirky you most certainly own the look and I love the hat  .


I think mall ninja is more of the person who in their mind dreams they are like Harley.  Dreams they are trained to do all that Harley is capable of doing and so adopts the look, lingo, and some of the gears. 

It's certainly not someone who enjoys wearing camo and being well prepared.  It's a distinction between a fantasy vs someone who just loves all the tacticool gear.  Heck I love all the tacticool gear too it's just not my style......  I tend to like my camo ( urban civilian ) look  .   

[Singh]

Mall Ninja is not my thing.  But if that's you're thing, then to your own self be true.



 

[comis]

Detron I wouldn't consider you mailninja bother.  Kirky you most certainly own the look and I love the hat  .


I think mall ninja is more of the person who in their mind dreams they are like Harley.  Dreams they are trained to do all that Harley is capable of doing and so adopts the look, lingo, and some of the gears. 

It's certainly not someone who enjoys wearing camo and being well prepared.  It's a distinction between a fantasy vs someone who just loves all the tacticool gear.  Heck I love all the tacticool gear too it's just not my style......  I tend to like my camo ( urban civilian ) look  .   

+1

I do think there is really nothing wrong with wearing or using tacticool stuff, but surely is not the same as wearing tacticool stuff playing Harley-want-to-be.

I think there is good point in using well-executed rugged military product that offers good value, especially if they could be found cheap.  But I often feel sorry for guys that got sucker in to marketing tacticool stuff, just because certain celebrity endorse it.  Gear can help, though it never defines a person, but experience and skill certain do.

[Mextreme]

 Here´s a test to do to determin the degree of Mall Ninja you have going,

"The Mall Ninja Apptitude Test"

http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=6753325773046944943

[kirk13]

Here´s a test to do to determin the degree of Mall Ninja you have going,

"The Mall Ninja Apptitude Test"

http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=6753325773046944943

Couldn't get the result without registering

[Chako]

Likewise. 

[AimlessWanderer]

In that case you both failed the aptitude test by not having a low enough score. A true mall ninja would need to register to know if their tactical rating was on par 

[Chako]

That could be...but here is something you can cut and past and have fun with. 


.1 I say Airsoft, you say?

Yes I have heard of them.

Yes I own ONE

Dude, I like, Dude, I have a ton of them

Haw Haw

.2 When you go to the range (lets say you go to the range), you wear...

Camo, but it has to be real camo, East German or something cool, none of that realtree crap

Black, head to toe, with a Balaclava

Black Leather jacket....down to your knees

Clothes

.3 On the whole AR15s are...

The Greatest gun ever

OK, but fire to slowly

Not as good as AK47s I have 2 SKS rifles, and that round is very nice.

Junk

.4 When you shoot at 200yds(or M), your accuracy is....

Minute of Angle

Minute of Barn Door

Minute of Barn

Minute of Berm

.5 High Cap mags are great because they...

Let you shoot alot between reloading

let you shoot lots of rounds fast

Look cool

They aren't great Just because we are restricted in Canada. My 110 round .22LR drum mag for the Ruger 10/22 is awesome though.

.6 The 223 (5,56) is a...

Great Round, possibly perfect

Better than nothing

A big step down from the 308 (7,62X51)

poor excuse for a round

.7 Do you own...Ninja Stars, throwing knives, etc? You know, ninja weapons.

Yes I have one Ninja style sword in my collection...to my shame.

No

A little, but hey, I don't take them around with me

.8 If you could be an action star hero, you would be...

Jet Li

Jackie Chan For the humour.

Chow Yung Fat

Jean Claude van Damn

.9 Your ideal pistol would be a...

Smith and Wesson 6509

Glock 17

Beretta 93R What no .45 ACP? Bha... 

HK P9S

.10 You own a shotgun and pistol. You need a rifle, you have to pick one of these, which do you pick...
(rationalise your choice as you see fit, any model can be chosen from the line up).

A Savage bolt action Got me an Axis II 30.06 and a model 64 F in .22LR.

A Remington 700

A Remington 710

A Mosin Nagant M38, M44 or M59

.11 Have you ever shot/held a pistol at 90 degrees...and thought it was Koooool...

Yes

No

Yes, but I feel ashamed to admit it Did try gangster style with an M&P 9mm but definitely didn't think it was cool. 

.12 I show you a picture of a cute cat, in a funny little duck hat...you...

Think it would make the cat an easier target to shoot

are mildly bemused (its a really cute cat)

are disgusted by my fondness for funny cat pictures

Get angry in an irrational sense

.13 Have you ever owned a knee length black leather jacket, and worn it in public, when it wasn't warranted by the weather (ie, it wasn't cold, raining, snowing ).

Yes

No

.14 Do you own a military gas mask...your own, not one for work?

Yes

No What for? Hmmm...my cats do let out some good ones at times, usually when I am cuddling them. 

.15 Choose one, its a perfect world, you can own what you want...but you can never resell it, its value is zero.

AK47

AR15

HK G3

a pointy stick

.16 Do you take things to the range to shoot, to see them go 'splat'? Have you ever shot a jug of milk?

Yes With water though...milk would be a greater waste.

No

.17 Do you ever dress up to watch a movie (other than the Rocky Horror Picture Show, or Porn)...

Yes

No

.18 So dude, DUUUUUUUDDDDDDE, do you own a copy or Red Dawn or Heat, or both?

Yes

No

.19 Did you, have you, spent more on guns and ninja supplies than on your car (Bus Pass...LOL)...

Yes

No Whew...thank God they didn't ask about MTs and other stuff. 

.20 Well, when your at the range you need some tunes, right, like the whole sound track kinda deal...you can only chose from the ones listed, what do you take to listen to? you must choose....

Pet Shop Boys - Depeche Mode

ABBA - Carpenters

Great White - Poison

Toby Keith - Clint Black I hate to say this...but when I am at the range, I do not listen to music. I want to have 100% situational awareness, thus I only wear my electronic ear muffs so that I can hear what is going on around me, but tune out the loud bangs.

[kirk13]

Just for fun

.1 I say Airsoft, you say?
Yes I have heard of them.-that's me

Yes I own ONE

Dude, I like, Dude, I have a ton of them

Haw Haw

.2 When you go to the range (lets say you go to the range), you wear...
Camo, but it has to be real camo, East German or something cool, none of that realtree crap-for HFT,yes

Black, head to toe, with a Balaclava

Black Leather jacket....down to your knees

Clothes-for HPRPC,yes

.3 On the whole AR15s are...
The Greatest gun ever

OK, but fire to slowly

Not as good as AK47s- hey,I lived in Africa

Junk

.4 When you shoot at 200yds(or M), your accuracy is....
Minute of Angle- this. Not shot at more than 50-60yds,but I believe in myself

Minute of Barn Door

Minute of Barn

Minute of Berm

.5 High Cap mags are great because they...
Let you shoot alot between reloading

let you shoot lots of rounds fast

Look cool

They aren't great- this. Single shot for air guns,ten round in Rugers

.6 The 223 (5,56) is a...
Great Round, possibly perfect

Better than nothing

A big step down from the 308 (7,62X51)-sorry,I'm a believe in weight of lead

poor excuse for a round

.7 Do you own...Ninja Stars, throwing knives, etc? You know, ninja weapons.
Yes

No-this,but I used to

A little, but hey, I don't take them around with me

.8 If you could be an action star hero, you would be...
Jet Li

Jackie Chan

Chow Yung Fat-this,match the body description

Jean Claude van Damn

.9 Your ideal pistol would be a...
Smith and Wesson 6509

Glock 17

Beretta 93R

HK P9S-this,always fancied one. I'd go for that selective fire Beretta,but I know my hands are too small

.10 You own a shotgun and pistol. You need a rifle, you have to pick one of these, which do you pick...(rationalise your choice as you see fit, any model can be chosen from the line up).
A Savage bolt action-this,but by default. I'd love a Lee Enfield

A Remington 700

A Remington 710

A Mosin Nagant M38, M44 or M59

.11 Have you ever shot/held a pistol at 90 degrees...and thought it was Koooool...
Yes

No -this


.12 I show you a picture of a cute cat, in a funny little duck hat...you...
Think it would make the cat an easier target to shoot

are mildly bemused-this

are disgusted by my fondness for funny cat pictures

Get angry in an irrational sense

.13 Have you ever owned a knee length black leather jacket, and worn it in public, when it wasn't warranted by the weather (ie, it wasn't cold, raining, snowing ).
Yes

No- this,but only because I know I'm too short to make it work

.14 Do you own a military gas mask...your own, not one for work?
Yes

No-this,but a work mate did gift me a NBC Noddy suit;and no,I don't know why

.15 Choose one, its a perfect world, you can own what you want...but you can never resell it, its value is zero.
AK47-this,I've covered why

AR15

HK G3

a pointy stick

.16 Do you take things to the range to shoot, to see them go 'splat'? Have you ever shot a jug of milk?
Yes-this paint balls were fun,the shook up Coke can was to make a point. That's my story,and I'm sticking to it!

No

.17 Do you ever dress up to watch a movie (other than the Rocky Horror Picture Show, or Porn)...
Yes

No-this

.18 So dude, DUUUUUUUDDDDDDE, do you own a copy or Red Dawn or Heat, or both?
Yes

No-this. Never even seen heat.

.19 Did you, have you, spent more on guns and ninja supplies than on your car (Bus Pass...LOL)...
Yes-can I take the 5th? Please?

No

.20 Well, when your at the range you need some tunes, right, like the whole sound track kinda deal...you can only chose from the ones listed, what do you take to listen to? you must choose....
Pet Shop Boys - Depeche Mode

ABBA - Carpenters-this by default,not choice; none of the clubs I shoot at would allow music though

Great White - Poison

Toby Keith - Clint Black

[Etherealicer]

I'm not a Mall Ninja, but I have Mall Ninja impulses... fortunately I also have pretty good impulse control.

It's only about a million times that I had handcuff keys in my shopping cart but so far I haven't pulled the trigger.
There are actually pretty cool handcuff-keys, like the ones you add to your shoe laces... pretty stealthy right?

Also, I want a Gerber Downrange Tomahawk badly... for reasons.

And sometimes when my overweight ass is firmly planted on the couch, the popcorn is within reach I dream of being a bad smurfing mall security guard.

[powernoodle]

boast your ninja-ness

Going to the mall takes effort.  I'm more of a couch ninja.  Like thwacking open my Cold Steel Espada while watching college football.  With a Glock 43 in one pocket of my 5.11 Taclite Pro pants, and a spare mag in another pocket.  Just in case.

[Lynn LeFey]

I'm not a Mall Ninja, but I have Mall Ninja impulses

I must sadly confess to this as well.

I watch Cold Steel cut test videos
I have been in arguments about the relative merits of the AR15 vs. M14 vs. AK47, etc.
While I don't own them, I have thrown ninja stars, throwing knives, and shot blowguns.
I like swords.
I have honestly looked at the merits of bullet resistant backpacks, plate carriers, etc.
I possess 4 products from Maxpedition.
I own a handcuff key (but to be fair, it's a built-in to a plastic buckle a friend gave me for paracord bracelet making).
I have an old bicycle tire procured for the sole purpose of making Ranger Bands.

It's not so much that I have impulse control as that I have limited funds.

On the flip side...
I've never owned a long leather coat or trenchcoat.
I've never owned a katana and the saber I own was inherited.
When I DID wear BDUs, it was mandated duty dress uniform, issued to me.
I never wore them once I left the service.
The Rambo Survival Knife I had I got when I was like 10, and it cost $6 and shut up, because you had one too.

[AimlessWanderer]

The Rambo Survival Knife I had I got when I was like 10, and it cost $6 and shut up, because you had one too.

No I didn't


 

[sawman]

I too am a mall ninja 

[ColoSwiss]

That hat made me think of this...

[ColoSwiss]

Never owned a Rambo knife. Thought the movie stank.

Do own this.

[gregozedobe]

Here´s a test to do to determin the degree of Mall Ninja you have going,

"The Mall Ninja Apptitude Test"

http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=6753325773046944943

Couldn't get the result without registering

ditto 

[Scoon]

Why? I calculate that the odds of breaking down on the side of a road at night and very much WANTING to be clearly seen are a great deal higher than needing to Bug Out, and Hide from 'The Bad Guys' in the woods in stealth mode... at a likely ratio of something like a million to one.

Plus, i lost a camo colored flashlight in the woods once, and now I'm all gear-loss paranoid.

@Lynn LeFay I couldn't agree more. I once saw a demo of a large SAK that had camo scales on it where the knife had been placed on grass, and the person making the video was demonstrating how difficult it was to see; "Look how great the camo works!". The only thought I had was, "Why on earth would you want a knife like that?!!".

The chances of me dropping my SAK on the grass versus the chances of me having to hide from anyone must be about a billion to one

[babola]

Not mall ninja really, but could be labeled as Walt Mitty from time to time...I like my cargos, tactical shirts, operator hats etc. Nothing too much though...moderation is the key 

[Etherealicer]

I'm not a Mall Ninja, but I have Mall Ninja impulses

I must sadly confess to this as well.

I watch Cold Steel cut test videos
I have been in arguments about the relative merits of the AR15 vs. M14 vs. AK47, etc.
While I don't own them, I have thrown ninja stars, throwing knives, and shot blowguns.
I like swords.
I have honestly looked at the merits of bullet resistant backpacks, plate carriers, etc.
I possess 4 products from Maxpedition.
I own a handcuff key (but to be fair, it's a built-in to a plastic buckle a friend gave me for paracord bracelet making).
I have an old bicycle tire procured for the sole purpose of making Ranger Bands.

It's not so much that I have impulse control as that I have limited funds.

On the flip side...
I've never owned a long leather coat or trenchcoat.
I've never owned a katana and the saber I own was inherited.
When I DID wear BDUs, it was mandated duty dress uniform, issued to me.
I never wore them once I left the service.
The Rambo Survival Knife I had I got when I was like 10, and it cost $6 and shut up, because you had one too.

Well the long black coat does not necessarily make you a Mall Ninja, mine is part of the Plague Doctor costume, so yes I even have worn it on a sunny and hot day

As for swords... I think it has to be a katana, others don't count towards your mall-ninjaness

But the handcuff-key... seriously, yours is a lame excuse

[Gerhard Gerber]

for the young generation - how the term came about

http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/

  really enjoyed that!

[Grathr]

I think I might be a mall lumberjack.
According to a friend of mine I look like I come straight out of one those silly lumberjack docu soap series on discovery.




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[kirk13]

I think I might be a mall lumberjack.
According to a friend of mine I look like I come straight out of one those silly lumberjack docu soap series on discovery.




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The question is,if your a lumberjack,are you all right?

[Grathr]

I think I might be a mall lumberjack.
According to a friend of mine I look like I come straight out of one those silly lumberjack docu soap series on discovery.




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The question is,if your a lumberjack,are you all right?

Yes, I sleep all night and I work all day


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[dks]

Tactical watches...