Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

Login with username, password and session length
+-

Hello Lurker! Remove this ad by logging in.


What makes you laugh? comics-jokes-etc----keep it clean please 307991

No Life Club Posts: 3,554 No PM's - just email please
What makes you laugh? comics-jokes-etc----keep it clean please
« on: October 10, 2009, 07:16:29 AM »
OK, how about a few laughs? Here are a couple funnies recently sent to me.



No Life Club Posts: 1,549
Re: What makes you laugh? comics-jokes-etc----keep it clean please
« Reply #1 on: October 10, 2009, 07:34:47 AM »
I may be alone on this, but these guys always make me laugh...  :D


[
No Life Club Posts: 4,496 <*();::::::::;~
Re: What makes you laugh? comics-jokes-etc----keep it clean please
« Reply #2 on: October 10, 2009, 07:40:05 AM »
I may be alone on this, but these guys always make me laugh...  :D



Are you kidding! I love the Marx Brothers!! I used to go to an old movie theater with my sister when I was a kid and watch classic movies. The Marx Brothers were always my favorite. I have most of their movies on DVD, but I haven't had a chance to watch them yet. I'm also a big Bela Lugosi fan and if you think he isn't funny, check this out:  :D

[youtube] [/youtube]

John *** Looking for Schwinn combination wrenches ***
No Life Club Posts: 3,142
Re: What makes you laugh? comics-jokes-etc----keep it clean please
« Reply #3 on: October 10, 2009, 10:46:01 AM »

(
No Life Club Posts: 3,554 No PM's - just email please
No Life Club Posts: 3,554 No PM's - just email please
Re: What makes you laugh? comics-jokes-etc----keep it clean please
« Reply #5 on: October 10, 2009, 05:43:41 PM »
Here is a good Dumb Blonde joke;

 A  blonde teenage girl, wanting to earn some extra  money for the
summer, decided to hire  herself out as a 'handy-woman' and  started
canvassing a nearby  neighborhood.

She went to the front  door of the first house, and asked  the
owner if he had any odd jobs for  her to do.

'Well, I guess I could  use somebody to paint my porch,' he  said,
'How much will you charge  me?'

Delighted, the girl quickly  responded, 'How about $50?'

The man  agreed and told her that the paint brushes  and
everything she would need was in  the garage. The man's wife, hearing  the
conversation said to her husband,  'Does she realize that our porch  goes
ALL
the way around the  house?'

He responded, 'That's a bit  cynical, isn't it?'

The wife  replied, 'You're right. I guess. I'm starting  to
believe all those dumb blonde jokes  we've been getting.'

Later that  day, the blonde came to the door to collect her  money.

'You're finished already?',  the startled husband asked.

'Yes,  the blonde replied, and I even had paint left  over, so I
gave it two  coats.'

Impressed, the man reached  into his pocket for the $50.00  and
handed it to her along with a Ten  dollar tip.

'And by the way,' the  blonde added, 'it's not a Porch, it's a  Lexus..


Dumb Blonde jokes crack me up. If anyone here is offended please let me know and I will stop posting them.

Head Turd Polisher Administrator He who has the most nuts, wins! Posts: 56,946 Optimum instrumentum est inter aures
Re: What makes you laugh? comics-jokes-etc----keep it clean please
« Reply #6 on: October 10, 2009, 06:09:40 PM »
Not all blondes are dumb- I think we all know that.  But, some are just disastrously stupid, although that has little to do with their hair color.

I dated this one girl for about a year, who just happened to be a dumb blonde.  She couldn't carry a thought if it had handles on it!  One day (and this is tragically a true story) we were flipping through the channels and I paused for a moment on a show about aircraft carriers.  She asked what the little thing running along the deck was.  I told her it was a steam catapult- there wasn't enough space for the planes to get up to take off speed by themselves, so they drop the front gear into the catapult which basically throws the plane off the side of the ship, and after that it's sink or swim (or hopefully fly!) for the pilot.  I then resumed flipping channels.

Five minutes later, she asks me if they don't have enough room to take off, how do they land?  Well, I was amazed that she managed to think this one through that far- after all, this is the woman I'd convinced earlier that those big fans weren't a wind energy farm, they were what kept the Earth rotating.  Normally she would ask a question, and I'd come up with some preposterous story, wait until she fell for it hook line and sinker, then laugh at her before telling her the truth.  Yeah yeah, I know, I'm a jackass.  Anyways, I was so impressed with her that I decided to forgo the stupid story and explain about the arrester wires laid across the deck, and the arrester hook hanging from the back of the plane.  Which, admittedly, does sound like a cockamamie story, which really upset her so she started hitting me.  Laughing, I flipped back to the carrier show and sure enough, just as we got there a Tomcat was dropping his hook, catching the wire and being jerked to a halt.  She was fascinated for a minute or two before deciding she was angry at me for letting her make a fool of herself by not believing me this time and started hitting me again.

Sometimes you just can't win!  :P

Def

NEW!   NEW!   NEW!   NEW!   NEW!   NEW!   NEW!


NEW PRODUCTS ADDED DAILY!
No Life Club Posts: 3,554 No PM's - just email please
Re: What makes you laugh? comics-jokes-etc----keep it clean please
« Reply #7 on: October 10, 2009, 06:35:05 PM »
Blondes Are The Best!!!

A blonde and her husband are lying in bed
Listening to the next door neighbor's dog.
It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours.
The blonde jumps up out of bed and says,
"I've had enough of this".
She goes downstairs.

The blonde finally comes back up to bed
And her husband says "The dog is still barking,
What have you been doing?"

The blonde says,
"I put the dog in our backyard,
let's see how THEY like it!


++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Two Blondes With Hammers...

Lynn and Judy were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity
House. ?Lynn was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail
Pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it
In.

Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, 'Why are you
Throwing those nails away?'
Lynn explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of
Them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away.'
Judy got completely upset and yelled, 'You moron! Those nails aren't
Defective! They're for the other side of the house!'

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?

They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.'

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You might have to think twice about this one.

A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip
Of her index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency
Room doctor asked her.

'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied.

'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting
Off your finger?'

'No, Silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, and
Then I thought, 'I just paid $6, 000.00 for these implants...

I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'

'So then?' asked the doctor.

'Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid $3,000.00
To get my teeth straightened I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'

'So then?'

'Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: 'This is going to make a
Loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the
Trigger.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad
Hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it
To a repair shop. Theshop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he
Decided to have some fun.. He told her to go home and blow into the
Tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.

So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started
Blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened.. So she blew a little
Harder, and still nothing happened.

Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, 'What are you doing?' The first
Blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the
Tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, 'Uh, like hello!
You need to roll up the windows first.'

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver
Thermos. ?She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took
It to the clerk to ask what it was.

The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot,
And cold things cold.'

'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing.....I'm going to buy it!' So she
Bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.

Her boss saw it on her desk. 'What's that,' he asked?

'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot and cold things
Cold,' she replied..

Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?'

The blond replied..... ...'Two popsicles and some coffee.'

+++++++++++++

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.

Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?'

The blonde replies, 'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that
My mother had passed away.'

The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why don't you go home for the
Day? Take the day off to relax and rest.'

'Thanks, but I'd be better off here.. I need to keep my mind off it and
I have the best chance of doing that here.'

The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of
hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out
from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically.

'What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?' he asks.

'No!' exclaims the blonde. 'I just received a horrible call from my
sister. Her mother died, too!'

Absolutely No Life Club Posts: 8,520
Re: What makes you laugh? comics-jokes-etc----keep it clean please
« Reply #8 on: October 10, 2009, 06:40:04 PM »
actually never mind, probably doesn't fit the thread.
« Last Edit: October 10, 2009, 08:31:21 PM by jzmtl »
No Life Club Posts: 4,236 I just don't know what went wrong.
Re: What makes you laugh? comics-jokes-etc----keep it clean please
« Reply #9 on: October 11, 2009, 02:08:48 AM »


Made me laugh out loud. XD

Got those frog legs.
No Life Club Posts: 3,409 You will not laugh! You will not cry!
Re: What makes you laugh? comics-jokes-etc----keep it clean please
« Reply #10 on: October 11, 2009, 02:21:57 AM »

There is no problem that cannot be solved by the use of high explosives.
Absolutely No Life Club Posts: 8,724 The MTO handshake.
Re: What makes you laugh? comics-jokes-etc----keep it clean please
« Reply #11 on: October 11, 2009, 02:37:41 AM »
This Aussie Ad  :D :D




"Downunder Mod (that sounds dirty, doesn't it?)"
Yeh Baby :P >:D >:D
Sr. Member Posts: 337
Re: What makes you laugh? comics-jokes-etc----keep it clean please
« Reply #12 on: October 11, 2009, 03:21:54 AM »
One word... Scat


On a related note, my coworkers & I were sitting here in the office tonight when the Dr. on call walked in & pooted right in the middle of us. During this, I'm trying me best not to bust a gut. He immediately said,
"Excuse me!
Follwed by,
"Is there a restroom near by? One outside of this office?!"
You guessed it! It was a public shart! We're all still laughin' about it!

N
No Life Club Posts: 4,763
Re: What makes you laugh? comics-jokes-etc----keep it clean please
« Reply #13 on: October 11, 2009, 04:25:38 AM »



haha :D

:like:
No Life Club Posts: 4,763
Re: What makes you laugh? comics-jokes-etc----keep it clean please
« Reply #14 on: October 11, 2009, 04:26:13 AM »
great post topic

:like:
No Life Club Posts: 3,554 No PM's - just email please
Re: What makes you laugh? comics-jokes-etc----keep it clean please
« Reply #15 on: October 11, 2009, 06:20:21 AM »
The Lumberjack Song!!!

No Life Club Posts: 3,554 No PM's - just email please
Re: What makes you laugh? comics-jokes-etc----keep it clean please
« Reply #16 on: October 11, 2009, 07:40:10 PM »


Anything 3 Stooges!

No Life Club Posts: 3,554 No PM's - just email please
Re: What makes you laugh? comics-jokes-etc----keep it clean please
« Reply #17 on: October 12, 2009, 11:51:42 PM »


This is one of my favorites from the world of U-tube!

No Life Club Posts: 3,554 No PM's - just email please
Re: What makes you laugh? comics-jokes-etc----keep it clean please
« Reply #18 on: October 13, 2009, 12:13:19 AM »


SPAM!!

No Life Club Posts: 3,554 No PM's - just email please
Re: What makes you laugh? comics-jokes-etc----keep it clean please
« Reply #19 on: October 13, 2009, 12:44:53 AM »

Wielder of the Bow of Banishment. Admin Team Absolute Zombie Club Posts: 29,427 El Presidente del Fan Club Micky D
Re: What makes you laugh? comics-jokes-etc----keep it clean please
« Reply #20 on: October 13, 2009, 01:12:20 AM »

No Life Club Posts: 2,310 "When nothing goes right, go left"
Re: What makes you laugh? comics-jokes-etc----keep it clean please
« Reply #21 on: October 13, 2009, 02:00:15 AM »
Most of the time Kim and my niece make me laugh the most:
Funniest Kim moment: When my sister was 4 months pregnant, we were going to visit her.  We were kind of late so when my sis calls to see where we were, Kim says "If you want we can stay at a hotel tonight so you don't have to wait up." Sis asks why would that be a problem and Kim replies, "Well we don't want to wake up the baby". 

Funny niece moment: Due to a small accident when she was born, my niece was paralyzed on one side of her face which has delayed her learning to talk.  She communicated mainly through sign language but would blurt something out every now and then.  Last Thanksgiving, she was not wanting to go to bed so we turned off the lights and my sis and brother in law and I sat in the living room watching Jeff Dunham's Christmas special.  My niece was crawling all over us and playing to keep herself awake and out of nowhere, just after Achmed finished his "act" my niece turns to me and yells, "Kel!" I said, "What?" she said, "Kill you".  Cracked me up.


I have been recently diagnosed with ADOSS... Attention Deficit OH SOMETHING SHINY!
No Life Club Posts: 3,554 No PM's - just email please
Re: What makes you laugh? comics-jokes-etc----keep it clean please
« Reply #22 on: October 13, 2009, 06:39:35 AM »

I watched an old sketch last night of Blackadder with Rowan and Hugh Laurie that made me bust a gut in laughter! Rowan is truly a rare sort with an unmistakable talent of acting a fool.

No Life Club Posts: 4,496 <*();::::::::;~
Re: What makes you laugh? comics-jokes-etc----keep it clean please
« Reply #23 on: October 13, 2009, 06:47:03 AM »

I watched an old sketch last night of Blackadder with Rowan and Hugh Laurie that made me bust a gut in laughter! Rowan is truly a rare sort with an unmistakable talent of acting a fool.

That was awesome! I love the guy!!  :D

John *** Looking for Schwinn combination wrenches ***
No Life Club Posts: 3,554 No PM's - just email please
Re: What makes you laugh? comics-jokes-etc----keep it clean please
« Reply #24 on: October 13, 2009, 06:47:54 AM »

No Life Club Posts: 3,554 No PM's - just email please
Re: What makes you laugh? comics-jokes-etc----keep it clean please
« Reply #25 on: October 13, 2009, 07:44:54 AM »

Formerly known as 665ae No Life Club Posts: 3,374 blah blah blah
Re: What makes you laugh? comics-jokes-etc----keep it clean please
« Reply #26 on: October 13, 2009, 02:24:55 PM »




Bad language in this one... consider yourself warned...

If you took all the intestines out of your body and stretched them end to end... you would die.
Global Tuffy Absolute Zombie Club Posts: 28,102 Just Awesome! And a Slayer of Polar Bear!
Re: What makes you laugh? comics-jokes-etc----keep it clean please
« Reply #27 on: October 13, 2009, 07:10:57 PM »
Mikey those first 2 are awful  >:(  (I did friggin laugh though  :D)

I'm back!!
Wielder of the Bow of Banishment. Admin Team Absolute Zombie Club Posts: 29,427 El Presidente del Fan Club Micky D
Re: What makes you laugh? comics-jokes-etc----keep it clean please
« Reply #28 on: October 13, 2009, 07:42:23 PM »


No Life Club Posts: 3,554 No PM's - just email please

 

Operational Funds

Keep the Unworkable working! Donate with PayPal!
June Goal: $275.00
Due Date: Jun 30
Total Receipts: $600.10
PayPal Fees: $35.45
Net Balance: $564.65
Above Goal: $289.65
Site Currency: USD
205% 
June Donations

Community Links

Powered by EzPortal
© 2017 Defender Web & Tool