I had to force a drunk guy out of me and my mother's house.

[Lasse Eskildsen]

Hello there, let me first say, I'm 15 years old and live with my mother and dog named Laika in a apartment with bottom and second floor + a small garden. It should also be said that neither the front door nor the door to the garden is locked when we are at home.

Today at around 9 o'clock I was in my room upstairs with my mother and we where sorting through some old stuff I had which I am going to sell. My room has a single window facing out towards our garden and Laika was outside in it.
Around our garden is a a fence around a meter high, just enough so that Laika cant get out. She goes to about the height of my knee and she is extremely friendly and has never bitten anyone in her life. Now while we where sorting through my stuff and taking pictures of it Laika started barking (which isnt uncommon since there is alot of cats in the area)
 so my mother opened the window to yell for her to stop barking. And she see a guy, around 40 years old, build rather small. Standing outside the fence and talking to my dog. She didnt take much notice in this since its quite normal that people who pass by greet her and sometimes pat her which she enjoys.
The window is not very broad so only one person can look out through it, I was sitting in the other end of the room and asking her what it was and she said it was just some guy talking with Laika.
Now the worrying thing comes though as he walked over the fence in a very staggering manner and this is where my mother could see that he obiviously is very drunk. And he goes over to sit down in a chair outside in our garden while he keeps patting my dog.
I still dont know that he entered our garden.
My mother yells out to him that he isnt supposed to be here and that he should leave, and he talks back in a very drunk manner that he isnt going to leave since he lives here. This is where my mother turns around and say that the guy sat down in the garden and wont leave, and tells me to come with her downstairs.
So I slip a knife into my pocket and hurry down with her and go out into the garden where he stands up and looks totally dumbfounded at us.
He is in the middle of the garden and my mother is probaly five meters behind him and me behind her with a hand on my knife in the pocket, and the garden door behind us.
I call my dog over to me and then asks him what the f*ck he is doing in our garden and he mumbles something about that he is pretty sure he lives here. At this time I also notice that he has most likely pee'd in his pants since he stinks like smurf. My mother and I - in a rather threatening manner, convince him after a few minutes that he has mistaken it for the wrong house and he has never lived here (we have lived here since I was born and know the people that lived here before) so he finally stumbles back over the fence while mumbling a apologize. Me and my mother stands there for a minute or so, laughing a bit over how weird that situation was. And then suddenly I hear something from within the house - so did my mother and we look at each other, then hurry inside just in time to see him entering the front door from the other side and standing inside the hallway. Which I quickly block so that he cant enter the rest of the house - this is the point where I take it seriously and I, together with my mother who stands behind me, starts yelling at him what the f*ck he thinks he is doing and that he has entered private property, and I tell him that if he doesnt leave immdiatly I will have to use force to get him out - I had a aluminium baseball bat lying a few meters away from me stashed behind a curtain and was ready to get it to use against him. But would ofcourse  like to solve the situation without violence.
Since if I drew it he could either take it as threatening and run off. Or take it as a confrontation and get violent.
I was completely sure that I would be able to win over him in a fight since he was drunk as hell but wouldnt want to involve the police (and neither beat up a stranger infront of my mother)
so he says that this is his house and I asure him it isnt and yell into his face that he should leave immidiatly.
He then turns around facing the door and unlocks it. (Yes, no smurf. He entered the unlocked door and then locked it behind him as if it was his house) he starts fumbling with opening the door and I shove him aside to open it, then violently push him out so he almost falls and tell him he dont ever come near here again before slamming the door closed and locking it, then go on to lock all the other doors and windows and get my alu bat.
At this point I am rushing with adrenaline and sweating all over, my mother has to calm me down or else I would have run after him and beat him down with it for sure. After a few minutes where I discuss it with my mother and say that we should call the police, she convinces me that there is no need and that we will do it if he comes back, I add that in that case we might aswell call a ambulance for him.
I then take some shoes on and the bat in my hand, I go outside and go around the house block to see if he has left, I just about spot him around a corner - leaving, and hide the bat behind my back since I dont want to aggravate him if he should see me.
He does not see me and continue away so I head back inside where I sit down and get a snus to calm myself.


This is where I realise two things, first being that the entire downstairs of our house smell like piss and I am about to throw up becourse of it (while writing this post its four hours later and I can still smell it) the second is that if my dog did not bark (she sensed that there was something wrong with him and eventhough she did let him pat her since she has such a good heart she did not seem happy while he was doing so) then we wouldnt have known he was there and he could actually go in through the door and go upstairs to us, or sit down in the couch downstairs or something. 
In that case we would have to get a new couch since his pants where soaking in pee - and I would have beat him so much up that I would end up in prison. Also when we got him to leave and he went out to the other side, if we did not hear him he could have entered the door and walked into our house - actually he could have walked right up behind us in the garden. And when he first was inside the house it would be much harder to just block him off since if I blocked him in the kitchen he could go upstairs or into the livingroom instead of out in the hallway, and I would have had to take a grip on him and force him out, which I would rather not considering his hygeine.

Now I dont see this guy being able to do any serious harm at all but it might aswell be a aggressive person - or a person on drugs which in that case would have smurfed up his judgement but not make him any less able to fight. Which would have been a much more dangerous situation - also why I would rather try to solve it without fighting.
Also through I have some kind of improvised weapon (hammer, bug spray, kitchen knife, bat,) stashed away in each of our room - even though my mother is against it and would rather talk her way out of everything - she is very anti-weapon. And I would ofcourse also rather talk myself out of it which was more or less successfull this time, but you cant be sure that it always would be that way.
Also, I wouldnt think about going to jail in such a situation but its not like USA here in denmark. If you beat up a intruder then its you who goes to prison and not them.

There where a case earlier this year where three people stormed a guys house to beat him up and he grabbed for a hammer and hit one of them in the head so that they fled - it was the defending guy who got several years in jail becourse he used a weapon. You arent allowed to defend yourself with more force becourse it is your home than if it was on the street.

Even more scary is if my mother was alone at home, she is by no means weak and realy knows how to stand her ground and yell at people, but she still aint as strong as a man (no discrimination meant ofcourse) I took a long talk with her about what she should do if she was alone home and she agreed that she shouldnt try to force him out since he could become violent. But told her that if there was someone outside then she should lock all doors and call the police. And if he got inside then she should act as friendly and understanding as possible and invite him to sit, then go upstairs and lock herself in the bathroom where she should call the police - or sprint out the other door and get in to the neighboor. We both agreed on this and I think she opened her eyes up some more for the need of defending yourself and your home with weapons.
We have also agreed to always have all doors locked even when we are home, and I am going to buy some of those alarms you put on windows which sets off if the glass is broken.

The next two hours went by with us wathcing a movie and me sitting with the bat in hand and looking out the window to our garden to see if he came by. She then went to bed and I am sitting up alone now. I am 99% sure that he as left to somewhere else and  isnt around but I still got my bat nearby and I am rather tensed up. Not so much becourse I fear for myself but becourse I would get a gigantic shock if it suddenly knocked on the door or a window.

Know that I havent been in very many serious fights and never send someone, or got myself to the hospital, eventhough I have been threatened on my life with a weapon twice.
I feel is immense anger that a stranger got in to my house that I am suppossed to protect and that he left without several broken limps. Ofcourse I didnt think about it at the time it happened but now, eventhough it sounds stupid and crazy - I actually wish that he would have acted violently - so that I would have a excuse to utterly beat him to bloods. I realy just feel a complete need to beat the smurf out of him eventhough I shouldnt. I'm kind of scared for myself since its such a stupid thing to seek violence out and I would never do it, yet I wish I had realy harmed this person so he knew he should never do something like that again.
No mather how miserable his life is already (and it must be since he ran around completely drunk alone) I dont feel the sligthest pity for him. And no mather how bad you have it I believe its always a choice to get drunk or take drugs.  It isnt excused by how you feel.

So why I post this thread is that I would like to hear if you think its wrong of me to feel this way (remmember even though I take self-defense as a important thing I am not very "tough-guy" or a violent person and havent been in very many fights. Well I guess some people see me as such since I wear combat boots and have my head shaven but that is a choice of fashion (No I am not a skinhead).

Can you explain why I feel like I want to do so much harm to this person?
And I would also like your opinion if you think I did the right thing in the situation and what you would have done diffrent, and if it was proper advice that I gave my mother - if she should come in a situation like that while I wasnt at home. (please dont suggest that she meet the intruder with violence since that isnt a option I would give her nor one she would take)
generally tips to what should have been done diffrent and what I could do to prevent such things in the furture.

Lastly I want to thank those who read through all this (It got way longer than I thought it would) and I hope it made some sense since I am still rather shaken.

Dearest
Lasse Eskildsen.

[Chako]

This sort of thing happens everywhere. Something similar even happened to me quite a few years back.

1. Lock your doors even when you are home. This time, it was a misguided lost drunk. Who knows what would have happened if it was somebody with bad intentions...baseball bat or not.
2. You want to do so much harm to this person because he basically violated your home. Your personal sanctuary. Threatened you and your mother by his presence, etc... That is a normal reaction. A good thing you did not beat him or attack him. You did good on that one.
3. The police should have been called because they could do several good things. One, they would have found out where he lived and possibly taken him there. Two, or toss him into a dry out cell till he sobers. Three, ensure that he does not enter another household. Four, made sure that he was safe along with everyone around him.

[nuphoria]

Lasse, you have had a crappy experience and you did really well to keep it cool. I totally understand the feeling of wanting to beat someone down, and when I was your age I did act after some little sh*t hit my mother in the face. I nearly killed him after chasing him down a market. The police pulled me off him to arrest him, but I was standing on his neck at that point and more than willing to snap it. That would not have been too clever  

These things can end really badly, and I'm thankful that nothing like happened to you or your mother. Take deep breaths and be proud of having kept a cool head and no-one getting hurt. You're all hopped up on adrenaline right now and you have the right to be really pissed off. Just try and control that rage and turn it in to something positive, like planning those steps to make your home safer etc.

You did good writing it out too - you know we care about our people dude

[Medic82]

You did the right thing Lasse and I have been working security for 3 years now and I have experienced my share of action. That you want to kick his butt is normal but it would have been wrong if you could have solved it by some other means, like you did. The cops should have been called right away when you discovered the guy, God only knows what was wrong with this guy and what he wanted to do, he could have been carrying a weapon.

What you should do is write a detailed report, and when I mean detailed I mean detailed and go to the police and report it, probably this happened at another place and they did call the cops so they know how he his or in the case he might return, either way I say go to the cops so they have it on record.

[Lasse Eskildsen]

Thanks so much for the posts guys, making me feel warm inside 
I did consider calling the police before going downstairs but my dog was outside with him and I didnt want her to be there one second longer than she needed to, the doors downstairs was also unlocked and if he wanted (which he probaly did) he could go in through one of them if I stayed upstairs.
I generally dont like the danish police very much at all nor put much faith in them (thats for another time though) but I know now I should have called them afterwards so that they could scout the area for him and get him home.
I'll consider writing a report of it tomorrow and go down to the station with it. I've tried doing it before in another situation and It took several hours down there at the time so I'm not too sure I will bother since I probaly wont see him again, if he comes by again though I will call the police immidiatly.

Thanks again 

[Crouton]

Always call the police.  Let them sort it out, your safety is the most important thing.

I thoroughly enjoyed this post, your writing and communication skills are exceptional.

[sappyg]

yep... you did good  

regardless of any outcome always call the police ASAP... the sooner the better. it will protect you in the long run.
the guy was more an inconvenience than a physical threat even though he had entered your home IMO. violence, though sometimes necessary, is a last resort that can not be taken back.

learn from this: how did this happen? how can it be prevented? what could you have done differently?

if this had been someone with serious intent the outcome would have been much worse. respect you mothers wishes but keep the doors locked. the phone is your friend. you would be surprised how fast a confrontation defuses when the other person knows you are speaking to the police. been there done that.... very effective... especially if you live in a city.

if you still want to thump somebody then i suggest joining the dutch soccar team. real horror show that.    

[Lasse Eskildsen]

Thanks alot Crouton! I'm glad it is readable, It isnt exactly a novelle but I was almost shaking when I wrote it.
And also thanks to you Sappyg, gives me some things to think about

A little update, I went up to sleep after I made the last post and I ofcourse couldnt fall to rest, I tensed up and looked out the window with just the sligthest sound, I then heard some looong loud footsteps passing by outside and I just let it be since it could be someone walking by, well then a few minutes after I heard it again and I hurried up and looked out and the f*cker was walking across outside, This is where I was seriously creeped out, he had gone by twice so he had most likely circled the block of houses (there is like six houses with ours in the middle) my mother had heard it from her room aswell and gotten up. And I went to her room and told her to call the police immdiatly and she said we shouldnt since he was just wandering around and you didnt call the police about such things.
I got her convinced though since he could have crawled into the garden and he might keep going around out there and I would not get any sleep at all, so she called the police and said what had happened and gave a description of him and the police showed up at our door some five minutes later.
And they said they would search around the area for him. Thats a hour or so ago and I have havent heard anything more from either the police or the drunk guy so I asume that they found him, thank god.

And please ignore the "Colorful Enunciationed" first when I looked over my post I had no idea why I wrote that, I'm pretty sure I wasnt that affected that I couldnt think clearly, then I found out its automatically put in place instead of "sh*t".

[J-sews]

.................
if this had been someone with serious intent the outcome would have been much worse. respect you mothers wishes but keep the doors locked. the phone is your friend. you would be surprised how fast a confrontation defuses when the other person knows you are speaking to the police. been there done that.... very effective... especially if you live in a city.

........

Good advice that

[Mike, Lord of the Spammers!]

I'd say you handled the situation very well mate

Now go invest in a Kukri

[duckman1975]

Glad everything worked out with only minor damage (foul odor on your first floor). Always lock your door, lots of sickos in the world today and sad to say their numbers are going to increase. If you have good neighbors get to know them better, neighbors are a lot closer than the police and its nice to help each other out. Your country have a good police force take advantage of it you are lucky call them when needed (try calling a police in a developing country  ).
Glad you kept your cool, a good teaser is a good investment 

[Neil]

Well done on diffusing the situation   The reason you still feel the need to beat the guy up is an animal instinct brought on by the mass of adrenaline rushing through your system.  Its normal

I agreed with the others that its always good to inform the police.  Even after the event.  Round here were are encouraged to report anti-social behaviour just so the police know what is going on. That way they can more effectively route their patrols and try and curb such activities.

[ryan1835]

i hate situations like this and ive had slightly similar happen to me too

its natural wanting to beat the hell out of the guy as i did

sounds you handled yourself well