I was glancing through the SOG catalogue and was kind of impressed to see that one of their tools is called the "Dead smurf."
Awesome name for a multi-tool, I think. Maybe this could be my introduction to the world of SOG.
So I squint closer at my ancient creaking laptop screen and the Dead smurf turns out to be nothing more than "Bead Blasted."
I guess that's the first big disappointment of 2017...
(I forgot the story would come out censored. Where you see the word smurf, think of the legendary Tory MP Alan B'stard.)