Some months ago Megan and her friend started planning today- a happy and fun adventure of kayak camping in the lovely Gatineau Park just on the other side of the river from us. We had actually scouted the area in the past and so we felt pretty confident about the trip.
The plan was for me to take the girls to the lake, help them paddle with their gear to the camp site and then leave them to their fun while I headed home to look after the dogs, do some laundry and enjoy the night off.
It’s just before 8pm and I am sitting in a bar, drinking a large adult beverage and waiting for my supper to arrive after one hell of a day….
Here is what actually happened…..
We rented a third boat for Megan’s friend to paddle and it turned out to be what I refer to as a “bitch boat” because, well, when I don’t bring my boats to my parents’ place I end up paddling one of these $300 Big Box Store specials, and that makes me the bitch next to my father and brother in their 15 and 14 foot boats respectively.
This friend, Sarah, is not an experienced paddler and so this would be an ideal boat for her, had we been just fooling around in the water and not traveling several kilometers across the lake.
But, I’m getting ahead of myself.
Upon arriving at the park my gas light came on reminding me that I'd forgotten to get gas, and much more importantly I realized my trailer was broken.
Yes, my faithful trailer that I have pulled for thousands of kilometers without so much as a slight worry, my heavy steel constructed trailer suffered a significant failure- the tongue that stick out the front and holds the coupler, the bit that hooks on to the Jeep, broke.
Luckily it managed to hold on enough that it didn’t go flying into oncoming traffic with my boats and camping and kayaking equipment, but here I was, an hour away from home in a very French area, on a Sunday afternoon with a trailer that can’t go any further- and I need it to get the boats to the boat launch so I can get Megan and Sarah to their camp site.
So, I try to Jerry rig something so I can get the trailer the last few hundred yards from the rental place to the water, but it fails miserably, the trailer falls on the ground, still attached to the Jeep and under control but with no support to keep the front end of the trailer off the ground. As it falls forward, the 2” squared steel shafts that usually holds the front level with the Jeep sags down and, as a tantrum for asking it to go further, severs the wires that control it’s tail lights.
But, roll with the punches, right? We unload the boats, put all the gear in them and load them on the kayak carrying carts I brought. Of course, I have two carts because I have two boats- except today I have three.
After loading the boats and gear onto the carts I then push the trailer off the road and into the bushes where it will have to stay until tomorrow. I then carry the “bitch boat” while the girls take the boats on carts to the water. I take a short cut, get there first then run back to help Sarah, which is having trouble managing a 17 foot boat on a cart.
The girls then decide it is a good time for a potty break, and I don’t blame them as the potties by the boat launch (and next to the beach) are way better than what they will have available to them for the next 24 hours. This leaves me to pack the kayaks and think about what the heck I am going to do about the trailer. I mean, I am pretty frigging annoyed by all of this- I count on this trailer and it’s never given me the slightest problem, except when I loan it out, like I did last week and it comes back with some problem or another. Usually minor issues, but not this time.
Eventually Megan and Sarah come back and the boats are loaded so we can start paddling. About time the fun part of the day can begin, right?
Wrong.
Sarah ends up having more problems than expected trying to cover distance in a bitch boat. No surprise really- it’s Luke trying to do the Paris Dakar rally in an unmodified Smart Car. Sure it can be done, but it is far from ideal, and you sure as hell don’t want to try it when you are a complete novice. Sarah put up a Herculean effort, but about halfway to the camp site she just couldn’t paddle anymore so I tied her boat to the back of mine and I towed her the rest of the way to Site 12A.
Except that I didn’t .
I did tow her the rest of the way, but when we got to 12A we noticed that there were a bunch of drunken frat boys in 12B and D, and unsurprisingly none of us were comfortable leaving a couple of unrecorded women in their vicinity, so we headed off to claim a spot in 11, further down the lake.
While towing her I came to a realization- I was so not going to be able to take my boat home because my trailer was damaged. So, I decided to paddle the rental (bitch) boat back and drop it off at the rental place when I stop in to let them know that my damaged trailer was there. I informed Megan of this and she agreed it was the best course of action.
Megan also took this time to inform me that she’d forgotten to bring her Camelbak, and only had two Nalgene bottles of water. So, despite towing her friend, I refrained from drinking in the 30+ degree heat. No problem right? I’m a manly man (despite my lack of beard) and I can manage.
When I dropped them off at Site 11 I took a mouthful of water from one of the Nalgene bottles but didn’t dare take any more and leave the girls with only lake water and purification tablets. I helped unload the gear, hopped in the bitch boat and started heading back.
And then I realize just how screwed poor Sarah was in this boat. She had mentioned that the molded plastic seat was uncomfortable, but as I plopped myself in it I realized it wasn’t uncomfortable, it was broken and the seat back was missing! No wonder she had so much trouble with it!
But, I had to get back, so I paddled that boat, broken seat and all, all the way back across the lake to the rental place in the hot sun. It only took me an hour or so, when it had taken about twice that to get there in the first place.
And, for the fun of it, I started to regret forgetting to apply the sunscreen before we left in the first place, and again when we got to the camp site.
By the time I made it back to the rental place, I was dripping in sweat and the skin on my face, neck and arms was glowing red from the burns I'd received.... but that at least was my own stupidity in a) not applying sunscreen and b) not bringing my Tilley.
I get back to the rental agency, let them know I am returning the boat that I'd rented for 24 hours but will need again tomorrow, let them know that my busted trailer is in the bushes and I'll try to get replacement (or repaired) parts when I return tomorrow, and let them know that the girls have commandeered a different campsite from the one we reserved.
Needless to say, something of a line had formed behind me by the time I'd gotten through all of that.
Now I'm walking across the parking lot to where I'd parked the Jeep, glancing at my poor trailer in the bushes and thinking "Well, at least it's an easy ride home."
Except that I need gas, but that's ok, I would very much like to get something to drink too, as I am severely dehydrated from paddling in the sun with next to no water. Mind you, where I am is kind of a tourist area, and so I figure I can push the little amount of gas I have until I get closer to home where the gas price would be a bit less rape-y, right?
I head towards home and make good time until I get into town and traffic comes to a complete standstill due to a couple of events that are on tonight.
What should have been a 45 minute drive ended up taking almost two hours, with over half of the total time being less than 3kms from home. On the good side, I didn't lose my place in traffic when I stopped for gas, although I will admit to having serious concerns that I was going to make it to the gas station!
I also got a small bottle of ginger ale and a chocolate bar (Snickers, for those keeping track) as I was dehydrated and hadn't eaten since breakfast, and it was now pushing 6pm.
As I sat in traffic, frustrated that I was so close and yet so far, that's when the next problem kicked in- intestinal distress. Dear old Def needed some quality personal time, but I was stuck in traffic- and, since my dogs usually go out around 3 or 4, they were probably also somewhat cross legged too, so when I finally did get home I took them out first, then fed them their supper, then settled in for some much needed quality time.
By this time I needed supper, although I was far too exhausted to do anything about it, so I went to my local pub.... which is where this narrative started.
When I got home, I managed to find a parking spot on the street, which was good as my neighborhood was filling up with people trying to get downtown to see whatever the events on tonight are, and I only realize now that I am suitable filled with wobbly juice that I could have used my assigned space in the parking lot behoind the house since my trailer and boats aren't in it.
But, it's too late to do anything about that tonight- it's just one more thing for me to feel stupid about.
I'm glad this day is over, and I am hoping I can either get a replacement tongue for the trailer, or get mine welded (I loaded it into the back of the Jeep prior to ditching the remainder of the trailer in the woods) in time to get back to the park, get another boat, paddle out to the camp site, pick up the girls, paddle back, load everything up, repair the trailer and get Sarah to the airport in time to catch her flight back to Halifax.
So in short, whether successful or not, tomorrow is going to be another busy one...
Wish me luck- I'm going to need it!
Def
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