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Swisscard Knockoff (Lynn's $5 MT Challenge straggler) 462

Absolutely No Life Club Posts: 7,890 Any tool is better than nothing. Some not by much
Swisscard Knockoff (Lynn's $5 MT Challenge straggler)
« on: January 05, 2018, 09:59:53 PM »
This tool review is part of a challenge I was issued, to see what the best tool was I could find for $5 or less, including tax and shipping. Here's a link to the main thread of the challenge.
https://forum.multitool.o...x.php/topic,75094.30.html

This tool is a 'straggler'. I have already proclaimed my winner, but here we are, and I think this thing is worth reviewing.

As a cautionary tale.

I ordered this one off of Amazon for $3.58 new, delivered.

So...

(sigh)

I can usually work up some level of enthusiasm for any tool review, but frankly, this thing angered me. It's just so... frickin'... BAD.

So what IS it that has me all upset?

This. It's a knockoff of a Victorinox Swisscard.


So, it shows up, and I take it out of the little cardboard box, and...

The disappointments begin. Stay tuned as I unravel the badness.


Absolutely No Life Club Posts: 7,890 Any tool is better than nothing. Some not by much
Re: Swisscard Knockoff (Lynn's $5 MT Challenge straggler)
« Reply #1 on: January 05, 2018, 10:11:50 PM »
The blade.

This is really the heart of my hatred of this tool.

It came pretty dull, barely able to raggedly cut regular printer paper.

That didn't anger me.

What angered me was that the retention on this tool, brand new, was pretty weak. The one dangerously stabby bit of metal in this thing, and after any duration of use, it's likely to start just randomly falling out... in your pocket or purse or whatever, and now you have a blade lose.

Stupid, frickin'...  :rant:

That's it, I can stop the review NOW, right? Call it a dumpster fire fail, and move on? No? I have to keep on... (sigh).

Fine.

The blade was easy enough to sharpen. 40 passes on each side on ceramic rods, and it was cleanly cutting receipt paper along the entire length.


So, great. Now it's more dangerous.

Also, just holding the blade long enough to sharpen it cramped my hand from the short handle. Bad ergo.

I suppose if all else fails, I can make a little sheath for the blade and give it to a pixie or something.

Blade as a cutting implement as received: extremely marginal pass
Blade as a cutting implement after sharpening: Pass
Blade as a safe item for transport: FAIL
Absolutely No Life Club Posts: 7,890 Any tool is better than nothing. Some not by much
Re: Swisscard Knockoff (Lynn's $5 MT Challenge straggler)
« Reply #2 on: January 05, 2018, 10:23:54 PM »
Great...

What's next?

Scissors.

They're... wait for it... bad. Yeah. Hard to guess, right?

Setting aside their cutting ability, they stick in the closed position. The spring, while it works, is nowhere near strong enough to pry them back open.


 :facepalm:

So...  :facepalm:

Okay, well... how do they cut?

Pass: Paper, PETE plastic (+2)
Barely Adequate: T-Shirt (+0)
Fail: Cardboard, Corrugated Cardboard, Khaki Seam, Suede Leather, 550 Paracord, Heavy Plastic (-6)

Total: -4

Terrible. Just TERRIBLE. They are useless beyond paper.

Here's my thread on scissor testing other MTs for comparison.
https://forum.multitool.o...ex.php/topic,36798.0.html

Oh, hey, we should get some bonus suck. The blades of the scissors will wander into the tweezer and blade's bays inside the tool when you're trying to put it away, unless you're very careful.
« Last Edit: January 05, 2018, 10:27:53 PM by Lynn LeFey »
Absolutely No Life Club Posts: 7,890 Any tool is better than nothing. Some not by much
Re: Swisscard Knockoff (Lynn's $5 MT Challenge straggler)
« Reply #3 on: January 05, 2018, 10:37:47 PM »
The 'light'.

Wow.

Let's just start with this picture. Here, you'll see the light on this tool next to the light on a Swisslite, one of the old red LED ones.



Swisslite on right, knockoff card's light on left. Yes, it's on. It might help to squint.

I have had ONE product I've ever gotten from Victorinox that I was less than completely satisfied with, and it was this Swisslite. Because the old red LED version puts out SO LITTLE light as to be practically useless. And it still puts out probably 10 times the lumen output of this swisscard knockoff.

For an idea of its light output, I have  a solar powered battery pack, that has LEDs that indicate its charge state. The light on this swisscard puts out light equivalent to those.

It's not that it puts out NO light. It's that this thing puts off no USEFUL light.

Utter FAIL.
Absolutely No Life Club Posts: 7,890 Any tool is better than nothing. Some not by much
Re: Swisscard Knockoff (Lynn's $5 MT Challenge straggler)
« Reply #4 on: January 05, 2018, 10:40:35 PM »
Okay, fine. I've been beating this thing up enough.

And sneaking in a bit to the previous photo...



Yes... yes it does.

It's a little short and uncomfortable to use, but it works. And i don't think the Vic version is any longer, so...

Yeah. Give it a win.

Pen: PASS
Absolutely No Life Club Posts: 7,890 Any tool is better than nothing. Some not by much
Re: Swisscard Knockoff (Lynn's $5 MT Challenge straggler)
« Reply #5 on: January 05, 2018, 10:53:17 PM »
How about the magnifying glass?



Beat by the magnifying glass that comes with a lego minifig. The lego one has better magnification, and less distortion. So the lens on this card doesn't match up to a TOY.

 :facepalm:

Again, it's not that it doesn't work at all, it just won't do anything useful. I could read THREE letters of small print at a time that would be in focus, and everything around it would be distorted.

Garbage.
« Last Edit: January 05, 2018, 11:55:21 PM by Lynn LeFey »
Absolutely No Life Club Posts: 7,890 Any tool is better than nothing. Some not by much
Re: Swisscard Knockoff (Lynn's $5 MT Challenge straggler)
« Reply #6 on: January 05, 2018, 10:58:57 PM »
Drivers?

(sigh)

Nope.



First, they're REALLY badly formed. Neither phillips would slot into phillips screws. The small flathead was too rounded to do anything. The Large flathead actually DID work, and worked pretty well. Of all the things about this tool, that one function made me appreciate the design of the actual, legitimate Swisscard enough to consider getting an ACTUAL one.

The second bad part, beyond the shape of the drivers. The retention of this tool was so strong that I had to use a screwdriver to pry it out of the tool. Then reinsert it, and pry it out again FOUR TIMES before whatever detent had loosened up enough that I could finally pull the tool out with the nail nick.

Unbelievable. I seriously wondered if it'd been glued in at first.
Absolutely No Life Club Posts: 7,890 Any tool is better than nothing. Some not by much
Re: Swisscard Knockoff (Lynn's $5 MT Challenge straggler)
« Reply #7 on: January 05, 2018, 11:06:16 PM »
That just leaves toothpick and tweezers.

I was pleasantly surprised that the tweezers were not bad. Not the best, but serviceable. And the retention was reasonable.

And there's a toothpick. It feels like the plastic would break with any actual use. And I have to assume after the rest of the horrible, that the plastic grade is probably also carcinogenic, but that is just a bit of malicious speculation. :D

And that's it.

And here's the truth. I would recommend the $1 Dollar Tree knife over this. Here's a link to my review of it.
https://forum.multitool.o...ex.php/topic,75095.0.html

This tool doesn't win the challenge. In fact, even at 3 times the cost of the Dollar Tree knife, it comes in LAST. Not, under any circumstances, worth any money whatsoever. In fact, it's probably actively dangerous for pocket carry.

FAIL. The End.
Absolutely No Life Club Posts: 9,965 Hidalgo, Castillo del Hook
Re: Swisscard Knockoff (Lynn's $5 MT Challenge straggler)
« Reply #8 on: January 06, 2018, 12:35:14 AM »
 :facepalm: :rofl: :like:


The four way driver thinggy (It's called a "Quattro" by Victorinox) from a genuine SwissCard is very nice.  :tu:
And you could do some light prying with it, limited by the leverage you can achieve with your fingers.

By the way, for accuracies sake, how does that Lego magnifying glass match up to a Victorinox magnifier, any kind?
It'd be nice to know.  :salute:
Lego is good quality, sooooo.  :pok:  :whistle:

Hooked, like everyone else. ;)

All hail the hook!

Small knives can do what big knives do, just slower.

My 30 day pen challenge! Pretty(?) Pictures inside:
Official 30 Day Pen Challenge!
Thread Killer 2017 No Life Club Posts: 3,964 Born to multitask.
Re: Swisscard Knockoff (Lynn's $5 MT Challenge straggler)
« Reply #9 on: January 06, 2018, 05:30:33 AM »
Holy smurf. If the lego minifigure came with another implement it would be a pretty decent multi-tool.  :salute:
Thread Killer 2017 No Life Club Posts: 3,964 Born to multitask.
Re: Swisscard Knockoff (Lynn's $5 MT Challenge straggler)
« Reply #10 on: January 06, 2018, 05:31:30 AM »
Drivers?

(sigh)

Nope.



That's one of the ugliest pieces of metal I have ever seen.  :facepalm:
Absolutely No Life Club Posts: 7,890 Any tool is better than nothing. Some not by much
Re: Swisscard Knockoff (Lynn's $5 MT Challenge straggler)
« Reply #11 on: January 06, 2018, 09:06:19 PM »
By the way, for accuracies sake, how does that Lego magnifying glass match up to a Victorinox magnifier, any kind? ...
Lego is good quality, sooooo.  :pok:  :whistle:

Lego Magnifier...


Vic Magnifier, from an old Explorer (The only Vic magnifier I have).


The Lego magnifier IS really good, for a toy. It still has a very narrow field of view, and just isn't great. Hopefully you can see how much bigger the Vic one is, and less distortion on toward the edges. I don't know how this lens compares to the current version. I think this one is the old glass lens.

That's one of the ugliest pieces of metal I have ever seen.  :facepalm:

Seriously. It's like they had to TRY to make it that bad.  :facepalm:
Full Member Posts: 186
Re: Swisscard Knockoff (Lynn's $5 MT Challenge straggler)
« Reply #12 on: January 21, 2018, 07:54:29 PM »
I think that while the newer ones have a wider field of view, otherwise the grey plastic cased magnifier is still considered the best Vic offering, so oughta beat a toy.
Absolutely No Life Club Posts: 7,890 Any tool is better than nothing. Some not by much
Re: Swisscard Knockoff (Lynn's $5 MT Challenge straggler)
« Reply #13 on: January 22, 2018, 04:59:07 AM »
I REALLY like the magnifier on that Explorer. I am at that terrible age where I can't focus well on very small font, maybe 2 point and smaller, and i don't want to bother with cheater glasses or bifocals. But when I HAVE to read small font, that magnifier works great. That tool resides on my coffee table for that, and a lot of other uses.  :tu:


 

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