Putting my Dog down on Monday. Any tips?

[gerleatherberman]

So, to start, I have had my pug (Mister B) for over fifteen years. He recently has developed a neurological disorder where can no longer move and function adequately(half of the time we have to carry him around, because he just collapses). This is compounded by his arthritis(although that was well managed with meds by itself). He is in a great deal of pain and we consulted the veterinarian today. He advised us to bring him home for a few days and try to make him comfortable and spoil him rotten(with help of powerful pain meds). He hasn't been able to hear for a year or so, but he can see fairly well for his advanced age.
We have decided(with the vet's advice) to not be selfish and euthanize him Monday morning. I am an emotional wreck, as he is the only pet I have ever had.
I have made the decision to bury him in my backyard after we bring his body home with a small head stone we ordered this afternoon.
My question is this: Does anyone have any advice on dealing with this emotionally? I want to get through this gracefully, but it is really getting to me(more than anticipated).

Picture of Mister B.

[Syncop8r]

No advice from me right now but I'm really sorry for you and your pug.

[Mechanickal]

My cat is like my best friend so I can't handle the thought of losing him!
Even though I know that day will come one day.

This will just take time for you to overcome. No easy way to do this.

I wish you and your family lots of strength. And please, find comfort in knowing that you gave him the best life you possibly could, and that in that way, he's been a lucky dog

[Gerhard Gerber]

Had to do the same on a monday, cried like a little baby, held his head as he went....one of the kakest days of my life.......but you know when its time and you need to be strong for their sake. 

[Aloha]

I've got nothing.  I cannot think about the time I'll have to do the same for my little guy.  All the best to you and your family during this very difficult time. 

Mister B is one helluva handsome pug.   

[zrxoa1]

I did the same with my buddy several years ago. It was the toughest thing I ever did. One of my sons and as with me. The wife said she just couldn’t do it, but Brandi’s tongue had basically disintegrated due to cancer that was missed by the Vet.

All three of us, my son and I and the Vet, we were all crying like little babies.  At the very end my dog gave me a look, as if to say, “What did you do to me??!!”

That really tore me up.

Nothing will help. Cry like a baby. Hug your dog. Move on with life. All you can do.

I am truly sorry you are going to have to go thru that ordeal. Prayers out to you and your family...




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Douglas]

G-Man,
First I want to say I empathise with you.  I've been there a couple of times over the years.  The best you can do now is exactly what you said "spoil him rotten".  Set around cuddle him, love him, cry over him and always remember you gave him all the LOVE humanly possible right up to the end.  No regrets even though life will never be quit the same.
You will reach a new normal and even likely a find a new Best Friend with time.  You have been Blessed with many years of wonderful experiances with Mister B make these last ones as special as possible and honor his memory by having no regrets.  Love your family, share with them and with us, most importantly KNOW that YOU ARE LOVED!!
Blessings Brother

[Whoey]

Sorry to hear this.

We had to put down one of our cats just over a year ago due to health issues as well, and a few months ago her fur sister too. We held out in both cases as long as possible, our vet told us both times that she would have acted sooner, but we tried to extend as much as possible.

It's been a struggle for us emotionally and I don't think it's something we'll ever truly get over. They were our fur babies, we have no kids, they were everything to us.

Try and remember all the happy times you had rather than dwelling on the loss.

The hardest thing now is coming home to an empty house.

[magentus]

So sorry GLBM

He knows you love him and have given him the best life he could have and he's enhanced your lives as only a dog can. Be upset as you feel, and support each other through the mourning process. Talk when you need to (here as well) and cry when you need to.

We'll be here when you want to talk, and there are enough of us dog enthusiasts to know what you're going through and to offer all our love and thoughts and support.

Take care dude and give him a scrum from me and Bonnie.

[gregozedobe]

Be prepared for emotional pain, but you are doing the right thing for your beloved dog and that does count for a lot.  I've been through this many times (I'm old, and have had multiple dogs for 40 years or so) and it doesn't get easier.  I can offer some practical advice that might help, so here goes:


Keep reminding yourself you are doing this to help your dog and they WILL be better off.  Don't torment yourself with worrying about whether it is too soon or too late to do this. Now is the right time for you and your dog.

Be prepared to be really sad for a while, and don't be afraid to tell other people why you are sad.  They will almost all be very understanding (any that aren't are not worth listening to).

Remove as many dog related articles (bowls, beds, leads toys etc) from the house before you go the vet, as  they will be painful reminders when you come back after your dog is gone.

If your dog is a chow hound take some favourite treats to feed your dog as he goes under (it keeps him and you a bit occupied).

Be prepared for the loss of body control after death (ie urine & faeces).  I suggest you take a used towel that you can bury with your dog.

Dig the hole before you go, and make it bigger than you think will be needed (rigor mortis can make things awkward).

Be careful driving afterwards as strong emotions can affect your driving.

Remember all the good times you have had together, don't dwell on the bad feelings at the end (This is probably the most important thing of all)



In the longer term, don't let this pain prevent you from getting another dog in the future when the time is right.  A friend of mine was so upset at losing his dog he told me he would never get another dog again.  It took a few years, but I eventually wore him down and he finally got another dog.  Last week he admitted that it was the best thing he could have done.  A new dog is NOT a replacement for your old dog, it is a new friend and companion in its own right.

[ReamerPunch]

Who's a good boy? 
Goodbye Mister B. 

[pfrsantos]

Sorry you have to go through this, bro. I've been there a few times myself. Don't hold it in. You're sad and you don't give a smurf everyone knows it. Cry, shout, break stuff. It may sound irrational but it helps getting everything out.

As someone who wants to decide when it's my time to go, I think what you're doing is the best option. You love the litle guy, took good care of him, stood by him through thick and thin. When life becomes just being alive, I believe there's no point in delaying the inevitable.

Be strong, we are here for you if/when you need us.

 

[pfrsantos]

I did the same with my buddy several years ago. It was the toughest thing I ever did. One of my sons and as with me. The wife said she just couldn’t do it, but Brandi’s tongue had basically disintegrated due to cancer that was missed by the Vet.

All three of us, my son and I and the Vet, we were all crying like little babies.  At the very end my dog gave me a look, as if to say, “What did you do to me??!!”

That really tore me up.

Nothing will help. Cry like a baby. Hug your dog. Move on with life. All you can do.

I am truly sorry you are going to have to go thru that ordeal. Prayers out to you and your family...




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

He was probably just sad to see you crying. Dogs are the most loyal, forgiving, dedicated creatures.

I love dogs but I'll never get another one. When they're around it's great but it hurts like hell when they go.

 

[Kev D]

Sorry to hear you are having to do this. Sadly there is nothing I can think of that will ease your pain other than time.

My condolences 

[SteveC]

Be prepared for emotional pain, but you are doing the right thing for your beloved dog and that does count for a lot.  I've been through this many times (I'm old, and have had multiple dogs for 40 years or so) and it doesn't get easier.  I can offer some practical advice that might help, so here goes:


Keep reminding yourself you are doing this to help your dog and they WILL be better off.  Don't torment yourself with worrying about whether it is too soon or too late to do this. Now is the right time for you and your dog.

Be prepared to be really sad for a while, and don't be afraid to tell other people why you are sad.  They will almost all be very understanding (any that aren't are not worth listening to).

Remove as many dog related articles (bowls, beds, leads toys etc) from the house before you go the vet, as  they will be painful reminders when you come back after your dog is gone.

If your dog is a chow hound take some favourite treats to feed your dog as he goes under (it keeps him and you a bit occupied).

Be prepared for the loss of body control after death (ie urine & faeces).  I suggest you take a used towel that you can bury with your dog.

Dig the hole before you go, and make it bigger than you think will be needed (rigor mortis can make things awkward).

Be careful driving afterwards as strong emotions can affect your driving.

Remember all the good times you have had together, don't dwell on the bad feelings at the end (This is probably the most important thing of all)



In the longer term, don't let this pain prevent you from getting another dog in the future when the time is right.  A friend of mine was so upset at losing his dog he told me he would never get another dog again.  It took a few years, but I eventually wore him down and he finally got another dog.  Last week he admitted that it was the best thing he could have done.  A new dog is NOT a replacement for your old dog, it is a new friend and companion in its own right.

I couldn't say it any better than this.


My condolences !

[glenfiddich1983]

Sorry to hear this, but I know how you're feeling. Had a similar situation last year with one of our cats (Brutus) who was ill and could not be treated. We had a couple of weeks to "get used" with the idea that at some point we had to put him down, so we gave him a lot of love, spoiled him with lot's of treats etc. In those weeks Brutus went downhill and lost a lot of weight. When the situation became too worse and the vet said that the time had come to make the decision (because the cat would be getting really ill and in pain) we made the appointment for the next day. I had very mixed feelings about it, because on one side I knew it was for the best, but on the other side I felt like some kind of traitor because he kept coming to me, sat on my lap, purring, and I knew the poor cat was going to die tomorrow and had no idea what arrangement I made for him

The next day we went to the vet, he gave us a separate room with Brutus, and insured us again that this was the kind thing to do for the cat because he would soon be really miserable and was in pain. He told us what he was going to do and what was going to happen. So he put Brutus on the table, put in the syringe and after that it took a couple of minutes. Breath and heartbeat were slowly fading away until at some point I realised he was no longer breathing, and he was gone. During those minutes we stroked him a lot, and Brutus looked peaceful somehow. During those minutes I didn't cry, I was "there for the cat". I did cry a lot before we went to the vet, and also when it was done, and I think that's a good thing. Don't keep your emotions inside, let it come and let it go. Is the only way to go through it. Think of all the good times and be grateful for that.

The following days I got emotional a couple of times when I got home and Brutus wasn't there like he used to, he always used to watch me come home from behind the window and when I opened the door he always used to get in my way, making me almost stumble because he always got between my feet. I was also a bit shocked to notice that the other cat (Caesar) didn't seem to care at all that Brutus was gone. In the following weeks those emotional moments got less and less as life goes on, but sometimes I see pictures of Brutus in good times and then emotions can well up again. As I write this and think back of it, I admit I had to weep a few tears away again. Brutus was a lovable, and like most cats: quirky, companion who is still missed. But life goes on.

My condolences 

[Wspeed]

Sorry to hear that GLBM
We are going through the same at the moment
With our 14 years old dog
He can hardly walk and can’t control his toilet
He is also deaf but he is still coherent and not in pain
We can’t see him getting to 15 but you never know

We had a couple of dogs that had to be put down
And there is no real way to cope it just takes time
We also found that after a wile the
house was just to silent without a dog
And decided we needed a new dog
It just brought life back to our family

You don’t forget it just becomes easier 

[Nix]

G-man,

First, sorry for your grief. Even in anticipation.

Second, congratulations on being a good human being and caring, responsibly, for your dog. The decision you are making is a hard one, but, in my view the right one.

My wife and I had a similar situation with a beloved female dog a few years ago. A poorly understood neurological disorder led to our dog suffering dreadfully. We tried some medical interventions with the help of the vet, but she continued to decline.

So, we made the same decision you have. And it was very difficult. We still talk about her and recall humorous stories about our time with her (and there were a lot of stories).  In the end, I think we both took comfort in knowing that we did what was best for her (truth be told, we wish we had made the decision to end her suffering a few weeks sooner than we did; we still have a bit of guilt that we didn't act faster.).

Then, about a year later, we had to put another dog to sleep when that dog developed a metastatic cancer. That was equally tough. And we still miss that dog. 

Dog's give us so much and ask so little in return. Losing such a companion and family member is always rough.

My advice may be a little different from others:

1. Know that you are going to feel emotionally crushed; this is normal healthy grief.
2. Do not avoid thinking about or talking about Mister B. Do talk about Mister B. If you can't tell Mister B stories at home, share them with us. You know we're always listening here.
3. Be forewarned that you are likely to 'see' or 'hear' Mister B as you go about your day. A strange noise will make you think Mister B is outside or in the next room. This is odd, but normal; just your mind trying to fill in the places where Mister B should be. Again, a normal part of grieving. Also, the house will seem weirdly quiet and empty. I can't explain that. But his absence will be huge.
4. Don't rush to get rid of Mister B's things. You can't erase him from your life or your mind. Being sad that he isn't around is fine. It's better than fine; it means you're a real person. So be sad.
5. As you do start to put away Mister B's things, try to use that thing to remember a good story about Mister B (I'm sure there are a lot of them.). Remember how he made you laugh or his exuberance when he played with a toy, or you got his leash out, etc....
6. Miss Mister B. Miss him a lot. He was a big part of your life and that's no small thing. So go right ahead and miss him. And then try to remember why you enjoyed having him around; those memories are precious and will sweeten with time.
7. Lastly, give yourself some time. He's been a part of your life for 15 years. It will take more than a couple days and a cup of tea to get past his loss. But, you will process your grief over time and come through it intact. Maybe even wiser. But that takes time, so be patient with yourself.

After putting 5 pets to sleep over the course of my life, this is my view and my way of coping. My current dog is now 13 and starting to show some signs of age. I know that in a couple of years (hopefully not sooner!) I'll have to deal with this same situation myself. It's always hard, but I think the rewards of having a pet far out weight the fact that we almost always out live them.

Cheers, and sorry, again, for your grief. 

[SteveC]

Well said Jack 

[Grant Lamontagne]

I've been down this road a few times with my own dogs, and the way my Daisy is going these days, it's a road I'm going to be going down again all too soon.

If it's one thing that I have learned from the experiences I've had, it's that things will never be the same, but in time, things can be okay again.

The day it happens will be one of the absolute worst of your life, and there's no shame in crying and/or completely breaking down for a while.  It's natural, and absolutely heart breaking, but it is also something you prepare yourself for.  What you can't prepare for is what will get you in the coming weeks, when something out of the blue reminds you, when you aren't thinking about it and suddenly it hits you all over again.  Maybe it's finding a toy under the couch, a ball of fur, instinctively stepping over the spot they are always in but is now empty, a bit of food you naturally leave at the side of the plate... whatever it is, it will happen when you least expect it, and it will hit you all over again.  And this will happen many times, and each time it will be devastating.

You will have to pick yourself up and move on, because that is what Mister B would want for you, and I am sure what you would want for him, were the roles reversed.

I'm sorry to hear this man- it sounds like Mister B had a good life.  Make what's left the best you can for him, then let him go in peace.

Def

[ThundahBeagle]

Oh, hell.  So sorry GLBM.

My early condolences. There's no better friend than a dog. Others have talked about how you stood by the dog. Actually the dog has stood by you. Without question.

This is the "Of Mice and Men" moment, and you have to man up for the dog's sake. Remember,  depending on how you figure it, he's between 80 and 105 years old.

You have to do it. I'm so sorry. I dread the day I have to put down Scout the ThundahBeagle, but the day will come where one of us goes.

As a kid in 1980, we had to put one of our dogs down. We were living up in the Adirondacks at the time, and we had to do it "Old Yeller" style. Sometimes life's like that.

But not in this case...

You have to do it, and because dogs are so in tune to our fear and other emotions, you should try hard not to cry. Don't let him leave you behind knowing you are scared or hurt, because that will cause angst in him. Love him, yes. Spoil him, yes. Be there for him, pet him, speak soothingly to him, hug, yes yes to all of that. Finally answer the question to him, who is the good boy. Again and again if you must.

But don't cry til it's over.

Then take a walk and cry. collect yourself. The old towel, etc, is sage advice. Maybe his favorite blanket, too.

Collect your friend and give him a good respectful burial.

When we had a number of Beagles, we already had other dogs in the fold. I wouldn't know how to deal with getting another dog, except, spend some time without. When you are ready, you will know

[LoopCutter]

I am so very sorry to read of your pets situation.  He is a family member, and the mourning process is and will be the same as anyone else in your family that you love.

Allow what ever time you need, and you not ever apologize for shedding a tear, bucket.  Holding it end makes it worst.

Even posting a tribute thread here with pictures of your friend and allow and accept expressions of condolences  would be appropriate.

Take care and will send good thoughts your family's direction!

[Chako]

I have been through this quite a few times already. There is a lot of good advice in this thread already. All I can add is that the grief is part of the healing process, and everyone does the healing process differently. I keep telling myself that I will never get another pet or two, and I always find myself adding a new family member because they give so much while they are here, that the pain and loss is just a very small part of responsible pet ownership. It is ok to feel terribly, cry, etc. In fact, I dare say that the better the relationship, the worse the pain. I can't begin to tell you what to do, as I have found my pain to be different with each and every pet that I have lost in the past. What I can say is that time does heal somewhat. It definitely diminishes the pain and sorrow felt keenly at the loss of a family pet. Just hold onto the thought that you did the best for your pet, and that their suffering is no longer. Other than that, we are always here to listen if you need it. 

[BlueDot]

This is such a sad and miserable time.  It has been for me.  I'm tearing up now thinking about little Maggie. 
So good advice already given.  My thoughts for you at this time of grief.
You're doing the right thing- not the easy thing.

dc

[gerleatherberman]

Thank you, everyone, so much. Some wonderful well-wishes, experiences, stories, advice, and reassurances.
We are very greatful for the support!

Today I made the decision to give him a little extra pain medication. It helped a tiny bit and he slowly managed to fall several times and stand up, over to the sofa, when I got home from work. His spirit hasn't been shaken much, as he gobbled up some bread I gave him and he sat by my feet for a bit. Then he whimpered until I carried him back to his bed. I just keep petting him to let him know he is a great puppy.
It has helped that we get to have the weekend to keep spoiling Mister B. until Monday. Thankfully he has not lost his appetite.
A quick photo in front of the sofa before I carried him back.

[Nix]

 

[MadPlumbarian]

Sorry to hear, we had to put our dog down a few years ago, he was more then just a pet, he was a rescue but he also could sense when I was going into a seizure, he went through so much with us but he was getting old and we couldn’t see him go through so much pain, so the wife and I decided to have him put down, we snuck out before the kids got home from school so they wouldn’t know till later that night and it was already done and over with. But the Mrs and I just sat with him on the floor as the vet did his duty’s, and just kept petting him, the vet said the rooms yours, it only took a few min but we just let it out! Don’t try to be a man and hold it in, just let it out! The next couple days are going to be rough, and you don’t want to forget so the Mrs and I made collages, uploaded a bunch of the best photos to a webpage that will print a large poster, I think ours is a 30”x20” went to Wally World got a cheap frame and hung it, and we even found a good coupon and had a mini one made and hung it in his fav room, the bathroom(loved those cold tile) one of the pics was of him in the room! I would say it’s odd to hang one in there but hey, it’s your room of peace and what better way to have a few min to remember someone special! Since we moved we put collage in the hallway and you have to pass it every time but the bathroom is on the other side so if you open the door you just look out and we hung the smaller one in the bedroom, right over me right now! Take care!
JR

[Poncho65]

Sorry to hear this GLBM and GG My heart goes out to you guys I only dread the day that this happens with my dog He is 11 and the longest I have ever had a dog. Just try and be strong but let the emotions out thats about all the advise I have

Prayers for anyone having to face this

[Dutch_Tooler]

Only just stumbled upon this GLBM... no experience myself, but relatives of mine have had to go through this twice. Doesn't make it easier, they tell me, and it will be hard the first days or week after the vet's through. I agree with all those above who say go with it, let out whatever you have to, and prepare a small keepsake or other reminder of the place he had and will keep in your and yours' hearts. Good luck

[derekmac]

I'm really sorry to read this!    They are a big part of the family, and there's no easy way to deal with this.  I wish you nothing but the best!!