Airline pricing policies lunacies

[Vidar]

I've just spent a few hours (!) trying to get a decent priced one way ticket with one extra piece of luggage Europe-Asia. What one would imagine was a fairly simple task has proven mighty annoying. The pricing policies seems to have been made by business executives hellbent on creating illogical and unreasonable chaos.

I see no point in naming specific airlines or hauls as the madness seems to be spread widely across most airlines. The two most infuriating examples so far though:

1. The price on an extra piece of check-in luggage. Ticket price (including one check-in luggage) USD 500. Purchase of an extra check-in luggage USD 1850. Mind you, that is purchase well before the actual check-in so not excess fees - those are likely even worse... I contacted the airline and said I could get 3 more full tickets for that piece of luggage - each of which would include the weight of a passenger and a piece of luggage. Yes - that was correct. I could get a round-trip ticket for someone else just to bring an extra luggage for about half the price of an extra luggage. Yes, that was correct too... It must just be me then - it just makes no sense whatsoever.

2. Roundtrip vs one way ticket price. Another airline wanted USD 1800 for a one way ticket. Having danced this dance many times before I also check the roundtrip price for the same date and some return way in the future. Sure enough, roundtrip was just USD 600 total. So twice the flights for one third of the price - and on the very same plane. No wonder some airlines have to plan with overbooking - of course people buy round trip tickets with no intent of using the return with such pricing policies...

Many says the airline industry is having a hard time. They sure want to give their customers a hard time, so maybe fair enough I'm thinking right now.

Rant and vent over for now! 

[zoidberg]

Yeah try traveling with surfboards.          

[Vidar]

Yeah try traveling with surfboards.          

Somehow I can imagine 

I've travelled with a rock once. The check-in luggage only consisted of a rock of about 10 kg. I got stopped in the US customs for a check. After opening the luggage they slightly confused asked "It is a rock?". I confirmed it was indeed a rock. "Ok then".

One of my more surreal travel experiences.

[Don Pablo]

“Is it a rock?” 

[ironraven]

My boss recently wanted me to fly out to a customer for a week. The usual bull about I pay first, then eventually get refunded.

I priced it out, called him, and told him he'd have to fire me first. It would have cost me more 800 just for the plane tickets, to fly from any of the airports with regular flights from near me to where the customer was. That is more than I make in a week pre-tax. That was just the tickets, no fees, nothing but carryon, and several two connections, nothing direct. (Add in the extra fees, room and board and transport on site, I can't afford to have more than half a month's pay tied up on a company expense for at least a month. Which is why I was and am willing to be canned rather than doing this)

Given the security theatre, undersized seats and jacked prices, there is quite literally NOTHING that is worth getting on a plane for at this point.

[gregozedobe]

My boss recently wanted me to fly out to a customer for a week. The usual bull about I pay first, then eventually get refunded.

I have a similar attitude:  If work wants me to go somewhere, work pays for it, not me.  Wanting you to provide credit to the company you work for is just BS.

[Nix]

Given the security theatre, undersized seats and jacked prices, there is quite literally NOTHING that is worth getting on a plane for at this point.

This is where I am.

[Vidar]

Given the security theatre, undersized seats and jacked prices, there is quite literally NOTHING that is worth getting on a plane for at this point.

To be fair there are differences between the airlines. My list of airlines to never do again keeps growing though, and the list of safe bets seems to be shrinking. The price differences are usually not huge if ordered early, so I take the safe bets when I can.

As for the security theatre I found it very refreshing to fly with a small airline some years ago. Check-in counter was way off from all the others, and the desk was unmanned. Some minutes before the flight two guys arrived, and we did some quick check-in. Basically they crossed out a list of passengers there and asked us if our luggage was too heavy. I was drinking from a bottle and was told to just bring it. Any sharp objects was fine too - made no difference he said. Somehow I found that very refreshing.

When it was time to board they asked if we could kindly carry our own check-in luggage to the plane where it would be loaded. So we did. Well there they proceeded to load the luggage into the plane.

One guy then changed his jacket and became our pilot, while the other one was the second pilot/ flight attendant. (We got a cookie each! Yay!) . For serving he just turned around and said to pass them along. We were sitting right behind the pilots.

I flew with that charming little airline a few times. They did end up on my not-so-great list though. Most of the other passengers on my last flight with them actually wanted to go to another airport than the ticket said - basically they planned to take a bus from the ticket airport to that place. Incredibly the landing site ended up being voted over, so instead I ended up landing at that other airport and taking a taxi to the ticket place. I was in no real hurry, but I still consider that a bizarre way to run an airline! 

[Don Pablo]

I can’t believe that small airlines like that still exist in this part of the world. 

And, oh, “Tyranny of the majority”! 

[Vidar]

I can’t believe that small airlines like that still exist in this part of the world. 

And, oh, “Tyranny of the majority”! 

Sadly I don't think they do. This one is/ was in another part of the world. Given that they might actually be supposed to follow some rules I guess it is better to not name them

Yes, I felt very.. eh.. majorized? Tyrannized? One of them is a word for sure 

[Don Pablo]

I can’t believe that small airlines like that still exist in this part of the world. 

And, oh, “Tyranny of the majority”! 

Sadly I don't think they do. This one is/ was in another part of the world. Given that they might actually be supposed to follow some rules I guess it is better to not name them

Yes, I felt very.. eh.. majorized? Tyrannized? One of them is a word for sure 

It sounds like in this case, a majority of the passengers wanted to go to the other airport, while a minority of the passengers, including you, wanted to go to the original airport?

[Vidar]

It sounds like in this case, a majority of the passengers wanted to go to the other airport, while a minority of the passengers, including you, wanted to go to the original airport?

Yes indeed. 4 votes against 2. I just didn't know I had bought a ticket where the final destination was to be voted over.

It didn't cause any major problems though so I regarded it as part of the cultural charm. Or something By now it is just a fun memory anyway.

[Don Pablo]

It sounds like in this case, a majority of the passengers wanted to go to the other airport, while a minority of the passengers, including you, wanted to go to the original airport?

Yes indeed. 4 votes against 2. I just didn't know I had bought a ticket where the final destination was to be voted over.

It didn't cause any major problems though so I regarded it as part of the cultural charm. Or something By now it is just a fun memory anyway.

It sounds like you have been to very interesting places. 

[Vidar]

It sounds like in this case, a majority of the passengers wanted to go to the other airport, while a minority of the passengers, including you, wanted to go to the original airport?

Yes indeed. 4 votes against 2. I just didn't know I had bought a ticket where the final destination was to be voted over.

It didn't cause any major problems though so I regarded it as part of the cultural charm. Or something By now it is just a fun memory anyway.

It sounds like you have been to very interesting places. 

Interesting for sure, but not all that exotic - English speaking country Which made that airline all the more refreshing

[Don Pablo]

It sounds like in this case, a majority of the passengers wanted to go to the other airport, while a minority of the passengers, including you, wanted to go to the original airport?

Yes indeed. 4 votes against 2. I just didn't know I had bought a ticket where the final destination was to be voted over.

It didn't cause any major problems though so I regarded it as part of the cultural charm. Or something By now it is just a fun memory anyway.

It sounds like you have been to very interesting places. 

Interesting for sure, but not all that exotic - English speaking country Which made that airline all the more refreshing

I'm reminded of when I read that some small airlines operate regular flights to an island off the coast of Scotland called Barra.
The thing that made it stand out are: The aircraft used are twin-engin DHC-6 Twin Otters, which I think are rather interesting, and that the "airport" is a bunch of of runways marked out on a sandy beach that gets covered at high tide

[Vidar]

the "airport" is a bunch of of runways marked out on a sandy beach that gets covered at high tide

Sounds like a challenging location to have some kind of technical issue:D The motivation for take-off with slight errors might be higher than usual

I was on a southern vacation in Alaska many years ago. What I found most interesting was that everyone and their cat seemed to own a bush plane - or at least be able to fly one.

[Don Pablo]

the "airport" is a bunch of of runways marked out on a sandy beach that gets covered at high tide

Sounds like a challenging location to have some kind of technical issue:D The motivation for take-off with slight errors might be higher than usual

I was on a southern vacation in Alaska many years ago. What I found most interesting was that everyone and their cat seemed to own a bush plane - or at least be able to fly one.

Well, probably high tide doesn't cover the entire beach, just the "runway" bits.  So if needs be you can wheel the aircraft up higher out of reach of the water and wait out the tide. 

Vacation in Alaska sounds very interesting. I understand that many places are only reachable via bush plane, so.  That's the impression I tended to get from watching "Northern Exposure". 

[Vidar]

Vacation in Alaska sounds very interesting. I understand that many places are only reachable via bush plane, so.  That's the impression I tended to get from watching "Northern Exposure". 

That was a nice series.

I mostly remember us renting a car in Anchorage and driving to where the locals had said bear sightings would be likely. Some hours drive later, and well into some "road" that rental cars really shouldn't be exposed to, the only thing we could find was two tame squirrels A bit of an anticlimax that one. Nice squirrels though.

That is also the spot where I learnt to not cross rivers by climbing across trees that has fallen over them. It works great one way - trying to go back against all the branches though... 

[Syncop8r]

I can’t believe that small airlines like that still exist in this part of the world. 

Generally if you fly on a turboprop here you don't go through security.

[Don Pablo]

I can’t believe that small airlines like that still exist in this part of the world. 

Generally if you fly on a turboprop here you don't go through security.

I really should experience a propeller plane sometime.

[Syncop8r]

Turboprop or piston?
How about both?

[Don Pablo]

Turboprop or piston?
How about both?

Yup!

[Etherealicer]

When looking around for flights, I highly recommend changing browser or clearing cookies before the actual purchase. The prices go up to pressure you into buying.
But yeah, pricing makes no sense. Return tickets are a lot cheaper and they are even cheaper if it includes a weekend (I think the logic behind it is that business flyers are less price conscious, as they don't pay themselves). I once had to give a talk in Germany, flying there in the morning and back in the evening. Ended up buying 2 return flights, one flying there the week before and one returning the week after, then canceled 1 trip each...

That said, I kinda like flying. My favorit was a round-the world flight
San Francisco (for Business): Please sir, can our dog sniff your shoes to see if you have explosives... seems cruel to the dog, but sure
New Zealand (Visiting my gf who was in language school): Sir can we clean and disinfect your hiking boots... there is still a spot, and you need to clean more there... thanks
Hong Kong (extended stop-over on my flight back): Sir, your throat is fiery red on our thermal scanners, can we measure your temperature to make sure you don't have avian flue... oh my god I'm going to die... whew no fever, no avian flue
Switzerland: ... no one there

[Vidar]

When looking around for flights, I highly recommend changing browser or clearing cookies before the actual purchase. The prices go up to pressure you into buying.

Another one which really annoys me is that prices with some airlines seems to change depending on where you order from. A roundtrip between two countries is sometimes systematically less going to and from from one country than the other country - despite flying the same flights. The logic seemingly being that customers in one country is willing to pay more to visit the other one than vica versa.

That said, I kinda like flying. My favorit was a round-the world flight
San Francisco (for Business): Please sir, can our dog sniff your shoes to see if you have explosives... seems cruel to the dog, but sure
New Zealand (Visiting my gf who was in language school): Sir can we clean and disinfect your hiking boots... there is still a spot, and you need to clean more there... thanks
Hong Kong (extended stop-over on my flight back): Sir, your throat is fiery red on our thermal scanners, can we measure your temperature to make sure you don't have avian flue... oh my god I'm going to die... whew no fever, no avian flue
Switzerland: ... no one there

A previous project took me many places in the world, so I can almost match those

San Francisco: Please sir, can you squeeze out some toothpaste for our explosive detector...
Australia: Sir, we need to clean and radiate (!) your hiking boots. I guess better than New Zealand because they did it for me
New Zealand: Sir, I'm sorry to say that your passport isn't valid anymore, so you can't enter. Me, somehow actually thinking I had it solved: "No problem, I have another passport here!" Shortly after two nice uniformed guys came and grabbed me by the elbows and put me in one of those rooms one sees on various border control TV shows.. .
Hong Kong: Staying next to a hotel that was in quarantine for over a week due to avian flu. Not eating any chickens for sure!
Manila: I was feeling bad so I went to the doctor before my planned flight out of the country. Got told I likely had some exotic tropical disease and had been put on a not allowed to fly list. "If you show up at the airport they will put you in isolation". Went down for the count shortly after. Took a week or so to get the clear to fly papers. (If anyone in Norway needs travel insurance I can recommend Europeiske - great follow up).

 

[Syncop8r]

I have heard there is a magic time when airline tickets are at their least expensive - I think it's about 58 days (here) before the flight date.

[Smashie]

It's around that time frame 

[Etherealicer]

San Francisco: Please sir, can you squeeze out some toothpaste for our explosive detector...

Poor dogs, got replaced by a machine... whats next

Australia: Sir, we need to clean and radiate (!) your hiking boots. I guess better than New Zealand because they did it for me

Nothing better than someone cleaning your stuff

New Zealand: Sir, I'm sorry to say that your passport isn't valid anymore, so you can't enter. Me, somehow actually thinking I had it solved: "No problem, I have another passport here!" Shortly after two nice uniformed guys came and grabbed me by the elbows and put me in one of those rooms one sees on various border control TV shows.. .

Hong Kong: Staying next to a hotel that was in quarantine for over a week due to avian flu. Not eating any chickens for sure!

That sounds nasty...

Manila: I was feeling bad so I went to the doctor before my planned flight out of the country. Got told I likely had some exotic tropical disease and had been put on a not allowed to fly list. "If you show up at the airport they will put you in isolation". Went down for the count shortly after. Took a week or so to get the clear to fly papers. (If anyone in Norway needs travel insurance I can recommend Europeiske - great follow up).

I see you like to live dangerously... That is why I 'm a REGA member, they would fly me home.

[Don Pablo]

New Zealand: Sir, I'm sorry to say that your passport isn't valid anymore, so you can't enter. Me, somehow actually thinking I had it solved: "No problem, I have another passport here!" Shortly after two nice uniformed guys came and grabbed me by the elbows and put me in one of those rooms one sees on various border control TV shows.. .

Jason Bourne would have handled that in a different way. 

[Vidar]

Poor dogs, got replaced by a machine... whats next

I got stuck in Chicago once. (They claimed it was a snowstorm..). Anyway, waiting in the very long passport line we noticed this very cute little dog going along the line with some not so cute officers. After some walking along the line it scratched and sat down next to an elderly couple. People kind of moved away from them and the officers politely asked them to open and go through their hand luggage. Great suspense! Are those elderly funding their pension with drug running? After a while the officers triumphantly produced an apple - kind of downer somehow.

It turned out it was a fruit dog. I guess some dogs just flunk at drugs or something

That is why I 'm a REGA member, they would fly me home.

My mother (!) actually subscribed to a similar service in my name for many years. I'll happily admit it was reassuring to know. Not much travel for me these days though, and even less to slightly offbeat places, so no real need.

Oh, I forgot one of the better/ worst ones:

Moscow, standing in line for the passport control before leaving the country. My turn so I go forward, put my hand in the pocket, and hand over the passport. Just as she grabs the passport I see a USD 100 bill got stuck inside the passport. Now what? Surely she will think it is an attempt to bribe her. Which would mean something was wrong... Clearly she did think that. She looked at every single page, and at every stitch at the seam, and every stamp there. For several minutes. Meantime I'm thinking I'm surely going to get to see Siberia too..  And what do I do if she doesn't return my USD 100? Complain to someone that  "she took my non-bribing bribe?" I could see that going bad very quickly.

In the end though, after making a proper long line, I got the passport back. With the USD 100. And she said "congrats". Not sure for what, but maybe great passport work? 

[Vidar]

Jason Bourne would have handled that in a different way. 

It was actually mostly boring. I got stuck there for some 2-3 hours while they checked around with embassies and what not. It worked out in the end though.

Oh, and they had these hard core interrogation techniques. For instance they would ask "How old are you?". Then talk some chit chat and ask "Which year were you born?". I guess inconsistent answers to that or the similar ones might have landed me in trouble