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Gerber, rhymes with ....ker 267

No Life Club Posts: 3,780
Gerber, rhymes with ....ker
« on: December 26, 2018, 08:31:16 PM »
Alright, so here's my chain of thought for the morning....

read some Mt.O threads....

have a thought about some knives...

check out a few knife company sites...

consider that many people I know carry Gerbers....

go to gerber....

(reaching the point soon, promise)

Site set up to take advantage of holiday spending - okay, sure. A bit more ass than class, but alright, they've got to make a dollar...

Click through "badassador picks" for gifts....(still more ass than class)

get to "flatiron"

read top line of features = "Arguably the most prominent feature, the cleaver blade is bold and trend forward"



Okay, well between the money grubbing, the shameless machismo branding on the site, and that sentence, I am reasonbly convinced that no one at Gerber exists in the world they suggest their equipment is designed for.

It's entirely possible the various tool/blade designers, and the people in the manufacturing end of the business are all earnest and genuine folk - but I get the feeling that the marketing and branding department are a pack of delusional fantasy chasing loonies (or they believe their customers are, which may very well be true)



(The Flatirons other features are
"The pocket clip is specifically designed for low profile carry that doesn't draw attention
Textured G-10 handle provides a confident grip in any situation"

Both of which sound cool, because as you all know, anyone who buys a gerber gets a free invitation to train as a black ops super spy, and may need to operate in hostile environments, possibly at sea or in the snow, with hands covered in the blood of their enemies.

Of course, the actual picture of the flatiron (ostensibly) in use is someone making a prawn skewer for lunch. I don't know much about seafood, but I don't think it cares much if your pocket knife is concealed....)


This isn't really a Gerber hating rant, I have gerber tools, and they do their job - I know plenty of people with Gerber knives who have no complaint. It's more about the apparent somethingness of the brand (a bit like crossfit, which is fitting as it turns out, because they have a new EDC called "kettlebell*"



*which has the lead-in of "Designed to cater to the trend-focused EDC user"

Why do I feel that some of the presentation garble given from company to the sale department accidentally made it onto the website?



No Life Club Posts: 3,342
Re: Gerber, rhymes with ....ker
« Reply #1 on: December 27, 2018, 01:49:05 AM »
We live in a world where somebody buys tactical steak knives, so I think there's a real market catering to people living in a world where the BBQ may be overrun by zombies at any moment.  :dunno:
Absolutely No Life Club Posts: 5,723 Man of Multiple MultiTool Manufacturers
Re: Gerber, rhymes with ....ker
« Reply #2 on: December 27, 2018, 02:39:05 AM »
 :rofl:
Yeah, Gerber is pretty shameless in their macho-stereotype promotions. You only need see the Center-Drive YouTube ads to get the best feel for it. :facepalm:

Main collections: SOG, Gerber, Leatherman, Victorinox. Also lots of cheap & cheerful tools.
No Life Club Posts: 3,780
Re: Gerber, rhymes with ....ker
« Reply #3 on: December 27, 2018, 03:32:56 AM »
Quote
We live in a world where somebody buys tactical steak knives, so I think there's a real market catering to people living in a world where the BBQ may be overrun by zombies at any moment. 

I don't really have a problem with people buying gimmicky (or tacticool, or whatever their heart fancies really) toys, I buy silly things all the time.

it just seems that there is nothing tongue-in-cheek about Gerber's marketing (on their website at least) - this is "The Smurf" and America has never lost a war using Gerber Gear, and every Bear ever skinned was using Gerber Gear, and for some reason the sledge hammer "entry tool" is a "stocking stuffer" for the man who has everything (but sometimes forgets his house keys?)

Anyway, you can be the manliest thing since Hugh Jackman and Chuck Norris arm wrestled for the right to marry Grizzly Adams and not take yourself so seriously...

(unless you are Steven Seagal, who apparently lacks any sense of humour about himself)


For some light heartedness....



(who said Australia never contributed anything to culture?)
« Last Edit: December 27, 2018, 03:37:00 AM by Sea Monster »
OCD Squad Leader Admin Team Zombie Apprentice Posts: 11,382
Re: Gerber, rhymes with ....ker
« Reply #4 on: December 27, 2018, 10:29:27 PM »
What do you expect from a brand that thinks fixing glasses is un-manly? (Center-Drive video)

Seriously, they have an apocalypse collection... that should tell you all you need.
Though they have seriously cool names like Ding-Dong breaching tool and the Devour spork.

Emergency Kit: Ovo Sport, chocolate, cheese, crispbread and a coin
Global Moderator No Life Club Posts: 2,054
Re: Gerber, rhymes with ....ker
« Reply #5 on: December 28, 2018, 04:07:03 AM »
What do you expect from a brand that thinks fixing glasses is un-manly? (Center-Drive video)

Well I do use my mini SDs - And I am a big LM fan - But I did think that that bit of the video was hilarious
 
@SM - Bit confused by your post - Apart from the general sentiment, of course  ;)
- Can you give us some hyperlinks to elucidate your points please !!
« Last Edit: December 28, 2018, 04:44:23 AM by Huntsman »
No Life Club Posts: 2,144
Re: Gerber, rhymes with ....ker
« Reply #6 on: December 29, 2018, 09:28:11 PM »
And their quality just isn't what it should be. My EZ Out Skeleton warranty replacement for an older one some dodo had ruined the heat treat on was equal, but a recently acquired US-1 is just horrible.  The action is stiff. The long discontinued (I think for at least 8 years) Magnum LST Jr. always has enough spring tension tor the blade to  fall shut after the half-stop detente,  but I have to push the US-1 shut. Guess I'll stick with the LST until I can use toothpaste as a polishing compoundto work in the pivot to wear the rough matte paint on the blade off. I feel that's the culprit. The LST is just bead blasted, not to mention broke in.
No Life Club Posts: 3,780
Re: Gerber, rhymes with ....ker
« Reply #7 on: December 29, 2018, 11:03:39 PM »
I suspect for the price, the US1 isn't really supposed to be that fantastic, it seems like it's just a way to put a very generic pocket knife on the shelf, at a price no one can refuse, to put the GERBER name in more people's houses and hands.

It'd probably cost 40+ spendaroonies here, but for around $15 at walmart, and with Gerber warranty (and USA made, if that helps), the casual shopper might be more likely to grab it than an M-Tech or Winchester or other entry level knife, so it probably achieves what Gerber wanted to achieve - selling a knife to people who were never going to buy a Edict or a Decree or a Gator....



 

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