What makes you laugh? comics-jokes-etc----keep it clean please

pfrsantos · **Reply #660 on:** September 25, 2019, 05:47:51 PM

Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That's not a miracle. That's tapas.

pfrsantos · **Reply #661 on:** September 25, 2019, 05:48:14 PM

If you don't know what introspection is you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.

pfrsantos · **Reply #662 on:** September 25, 2019, 05:48:35 PM

I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because I like that one-to-one time.

pfrsantos · **Reply #663 on:** September 25, 2019, 05:49:16 PM

Money can't buy you happiness? Well, check this out, I bought myself a Happy Meal.

pfrsantos · **Reply #664 on:** September 25, 2019, 05:49:47 PM

Never Apologise! Never Explain! – Sorry, that’s my motto.

pfrsantos · **Reply #665 on:** September 25, 2019, 05:50:24 PM

I’m entering the worlds tightest hat competition. Just hope I can pull it off.

pfrsantos · **Reply #666 on:** September 25, 2019, 05:50:58 PM

Words can’t express how much I hate World Emoji Day.

pfrsantos · **Reply #667 on:** September 25, 2019, 05:51:15 PM

Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they're happy.

pfrsantos · **Reply #668 on:** September 25, 2019, 05:51:47 PM

A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, 'Yes, of course. - That's 20 cows'

pfrsantos · **Reply #669 on:** September 25, 2019, 05:52:13 PM

A thesaurus is great. There's no other word for it.

pfrsantos · **Reply #670 on:** September 25, 2019, 05:52:38 PM

I accidentally booked myself onto an escapology course; I'm really struggling to get out of it.

pfrsantos · **Reply #671 on:** September 25, 2019, 05:56:02 PM

Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of CVs in the bin without reading them.

Smashie · **Reply #672 on:** September 27, 2019, 12:06:10 PM

AlephZero · **Reply #673 on:** September 27, 2019, 05:10:12 PM

Seems legit...

Max Stone · **Reply #674 on:** September 27, 2019, 06:05:12 PM

My wife thinks I spend too much time on the loo, so today I see she’s loaded a new roll of paper...

...little does she know, I’m catching up on my unread messages, or posting this picture.

pfrsantos · **Reply #675 on:** September 27, 2019, 06:34:46 PM

Quote from: Max Stone on September 27, 2019, 06:05:12 PM

My wife thinks I spend too much time on the loo, so today I see she’s loaded a new roll of paper...

...little does she know, I’m catching up on my unread messages, or posting this picture.

Have you noticed?...

Show content

The last one is WIPER...

Max Stone · **Reply #676 on:** September 27, 2019, 07:06:15 PM

I missed that

pfrsantos · **Reply #677 on:** September 30, 2019, 01:14:32 PM

Quote from: Max Stone on September 27, 2019, 07:06:15 PM

I missed that

So... you didn't wipe?!

AimlessWanderer · **Reply #678 on:** September 30, 2019, 06:27:08 PM

Is that supposed to be how you mark off the words you found...?

Get a pot of Nutella, dip your finger in, and use that to mark off half the words, then just leave it in the bathroom. When quizzed/screamed at, tell her you couldn't finish it because you were clean, and had to save it for next time.

pfrsantos · **Reply #679 on:** October 02, 2019, 06:27:16 PM

Quote from: AimlessWanderer on September 30, 2019, 06:27:08 PM

Is that supposed to be how you mark off the words you found...?

Get a pot of Nutella, dip your finger in, and use that to mark off half the words, then just leave it in the bathroom. When quizzed/screamed at, tell her you couldn't finish it because you were clean, and had to save it for next time.