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Jokes for my work group

Grant Lamontagne · 602 · 31185
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gb Offline andywork

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #120 on: January 31, 2025, 06:06:27 PM
:rofl:

It could be worse.
If it was a truckload of Imodium, you could be backed up for days. :D
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ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #121 on: February 01, 2025, 04:15:48 PM
Good point!

I hadn't thought of that!   :ahhh

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ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #122 on: February 03, 2025, 01:31:04 PM
One of my coworkers beat me to the morning joke today!

Who else finds the English language not so straight forward some times? For instance, the adjective for metal is metallic, but it's not the same for iron, which is ironic. Good morning, fellas.

Naturally I responded in kind:

Good morning everyone!

To build on the previous joke, what do you call a magician who has lost his magic?

You call him Ian!

I know, not as good but have a great day anyway!

Def
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gb Offline andywork

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #123 on: February 03, 2025, 08:33:04 PM
I always wished I was a great magician. Or maybe even a time traveller.

The closest I get is making an hour disappear in the summertime. Only for it to reappear in the fall.




Thanks Daylight Saving Time. :D
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ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #124 on: February 03, 2025, 09:42:46 PM
 I simply don’t have pointy enough eyebrows to be a convincing magician!  :D

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ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #125 on: February 06, 2025, 02:01:14 PM
Good morning everyone!

Sorry for the missing jokes the last couple of days- I was quite sick but I'm doing better now.  Norovirus is something you should avoid at all costs.

You know, there's nothing like having good friends.  For example, when I start to feel depressed a friend of mine always says "it could be worse, you could be in a hole in the ground filled with water."

I know he means well.

Have a great day everyone!

Def
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ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #126 on: February 07, 2025, 02:25:56 PM
Good morning and Happy Friday to all of you!

This is a bit late because I thought I had already sent it, but here is your thought for today:

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

Have a great weekend everyone!

Def
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ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #127 on: February 10, 2025, 01:30:45 PM
Good morning everyone and happy Monday- especially to those of you on "vacation" right now!

On days like this I remember the important things in life, like remembering to learn from the mistakes of others- particularly those that took my advice.

Have a great day everyone!

Def
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ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #128 on: February 11, 2025, 12:43:39 PM
Good morning everyone!

As I get older things start to slip my mind more and more.  For example, I can’t remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 as Roman Numerals. 

IM LIVID

Have a great day everyone!

Def
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ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #129 on: February 12, 2025, 12:37:44 PM
Good morning everyone!

Yesterday was someone's birthday, and I didn't know about it, so make sure to wish them a happy belated!

There's an old Irish toast that says "May you live as long as you want, and not want for as long as you live."

But as I'm of French descent, I prefer our toast, which is bread, eggs, cinnamon and maple syrup.

Have a great day everyone- especially the birthday person!

Def
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ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #130 on: February 13, 2025, 12:14:12 PM
Good morning everyone!

As you all know, I am very interested in electric cars, but even with all the research I've done I still have questions.

For example, when driving an electric car do you listen to AC/DC or something current?

Have a great day everyone!

Def
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gb Offline andywork

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #131 on: February 13, 2025, 05:31:21 PM
I don’t think the songs have to be ‘current’.

For example, this 80’s classic from Orchestra Manoeuvres In The Dark works just as well… :D

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y43XLVqjytQ&pp=ygUPb21kIGVsZWN0cmljaXR5
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ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #132 on: February 13, 2025, 10:40:37 PM
Good one, but I thought you weee going to tell me I was going to have to

I’m going to drive down to

Electric avenue! 

:D



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gb Offline andywork

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #133 on: February 14, 2025, 06:39:20 AM
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gb Offline andywork

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #134 on: February 14, 2025, 07:25:52 AM
And, if you must play AC/DC, make sure it’s High Voltage:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nnjh-zp6pP4&pp=ygUSYWMgZGMgaGlnaCB2b2x0YWdl
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fr Offline Whoey

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #135 on: February 14, 2025, 12:30:05 PM
Only if you're on the highway to hell...
The difficult we do immediately, the impossible takes a little longer.
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ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #136 on: February 14, 2025, 01:05:20 PM
When am I not?

Good morning everyone- it's Friday and Valentine's Day so I hope it's extra great for all of you!

I dated someone once who said I had a face like the back end of a fishing trawler.   I didn't say anything but I did give her a stern look!

Have a great day everyone, and an even better weekend!

Def
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ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #137 on: February 18, 2025, 01:44:18 PM
It was a holiday yesterday so no Monday joke.  To make up for it, today’s is twice as bad as usual.  :D

Good morning everyone! 

I hope you all fared well in the weather over the weekend!  At my place we had all of it- hale, drissle, sno, frezzing temperchoors and lots of ayce that caused people to slip all over the place.

It was a really bad spell of weather.

Have a great day everyone and stay safe out there!

Def
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ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #138 on: February 19, 2025, 01:18:11 PM
Good morning everyone!

I used to buy a lot of stuff on eBay but I think I'm going to cut it out.  I've been getting some terrible results lately.

For example, last night I searched for lighters but all that came up was 13,748 matches.

Have a great day everyone!

Def
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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #139 on: February 20, 2025, 12:24:12 PM
Good morning everyone!

Here's a little factoid about our department that everyone should know.  Does everyone know how much a snow plow weighs?

Enough to break the ice!

It's the most Canadian joke I could think of this morning!  :-)

I hope you all have a great day!

Def
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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #140 on: February 21, 2025, 02:21:02 PM
Good morning everyone!

It's Friday and to recognize the international flavour of our workgroup, here is a fun bit of information for you!

Did you know that in Ireland the population of the capital city is growing at an exponential rate?  In fact, you could say that it's Dublin!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Def
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ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #141 on: February 24, 2025, 12:38:12 PM
Good morning everyone!

It's Monday and that stinks, but so do skunks.  In fact, do you know how many skunks it takes to make a stink?

Just a phew.

Didn't like that one?  Okay, what do you call a crocodile with a GPS?

A Navi-gator.

It's animal themed joke week, so get ready, and have a great day everyone!

Def
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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #142 on: February 24, 2025, 05:42:59 PM
I have just been told that today's first joke did not make any scents.

Sorry for the inconvenience

Def
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ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #143 on: February 25, 2025, 01:09:56 PM
Good morning everyone!

Continuing animal themed joke week, did you know that a camel with two jumps is called a Bactrian, a camel with one hump is called a Dromedary and a camel with no jumps is called Humphrey.

Have a great day out there everyone!  And for those of you on "vacation" right now, feel free to check in and let us know how you are doing!

Several of my coworkers have been laid off for the season, hence the vacation comment.

Def
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ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #144 on: February 25, 2025, 01:24:32 PM
A reply from one of my coworkers:

In continuation of the animal themed jokes...

After an engineer had completed a golf course project for a wealthy guy, which the wealthy guy named the Lion Golf Course, the wealthy guy who wanted to have a live lion on the property asked; "so, where is the lion?"
The engineer, who had just arrived in the company of Tiger Wood replied; "usually, a lion 'woodn't' play golf, but a Tiger Wood."

Have a great day, folks.

Def
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Merit Badges Take part in the christmas pool or a rak type giveaway. Those wanting to say thank you for a rak may also nominate for the santa. For those who posted like a boss. Post your pocket dump photos then challenge two more members who must post their pocket dump photos within 24hrs for you to get the badge. Start a new thread with a photo of custom or non standard SAK scales in your collection Start a thread with a photo of a repair you made with duct tape Start a new thread including a photo of shooting at least two (2) different airguns and at least one (1) photo of target (airguns) Start a thread with a photo of at least ten OPT's in your collection Must start a thread with a photo of at least five (5) of your watches Must start a thread showing a photo of at least eight BO tools Start a thread with photos of at least 1 MTO branded tool in your collection Start a new thread showing photos of your outdoor cooking Must have a review written in the proper format and posted on the Main Site Start a new thread with a photo of at least 5 different Charge models in your collection

us Offline Barry Rowland

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #145 on: February 25, 2025, 01:44:56 PM
 :D Def, I just found this thread.  I love it!!  :rofl:
Barry
Merit Badges Start a thread with a photo of a repair you made with duct tape Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Classic SAK for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry at least one red edc item, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days.  Post a pic for Halloween of your pumpkin (or turnip or gourd or whatever you traditionally carve for Halloween!) being carved by any SAK, multitool, pocket or woods knife you may own!  Only available once a year Participate in a Challenge thread and post a photo of a SAK-alike, aka multi-layered, knife-based pocket tools for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry a keychain tool with pliers, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days Start a new thread and post a photo of any gear for thirty (30) consecutive days during the MTo anniversary month. For 30 consecutive days carry a SAK with a magnifying glass, and post a picture every day in the designated thread. Start a new thread and post a photo of the multitool for thirty (30) consecutive days. Must start a thread showing a photo of at least five BO tools Participate in a Challenge thread, carry a Victorinox Hiker, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Start a new thread and post a photo of the multitool for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry a Leatherman Bond, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Start a new thread with a photo showing the axe in use Participate in a Challenge thread and post a photo of  a Opinel  knife  for 30 days Start a new thread and post a photo of the multitool for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a new thread and post a photo of the multitool for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Vic Spirit MT for sixty (60) consecutive days. Start a new thread and post a photo of the multitool for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a challenge by carrying  a Combo Edged knife or Multitool and post a photo of it  for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a MiniChamp SAK for thirty (30) consecutive days.

ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #146 on: February 26, 2025, 12:32:45 PM
Good morning everyone!

Continuing animal week, I watched a documentary last night about a chameleon that couldn't change colours.

Apparently it suffered from a reptile disorder!

Have a great day everyone!

Def
Listen to the Official Podcast of Multitool.org:

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Merit Badges Take part in the christmas pool or a rak type giveaway. Those wanting to say thank you for a rak may also nominate for the santa. For those who posted like a boss. Post your pocket dump photos then challenge two more members who must post their pocket dump photos within 24hrs for you to get the badge. Start a new thread with a photo of custom or non standard SAK scales in your collection Start a thread with a photo of a repair you made with duct tape Start a new thread including a photo of shooting at least two (2) different airguns and at least one (1) photo of target (airguns) Start a thread with a photo of at least ten OPT's in your collection Must start a thread with a photo of at least five (5) of your watches Must start a thread showing a photo of at least eight BO tools Start a thread with photos of at least 1 MTO branded tool in your collection Start a new thread showing photos of your outdoor cooking Must have a review written in the proper format and posted on the Main Site Start a new thread with a photo of at least 5 different Charge models in your collection

us Offline Barry Rowland

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #147 on: February 26, 2025, 03:30:17 PM
 :facepalm: You too Def!
Barry
Merit Badges Start a thread with a photo of a repair you made with duct tape Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Classic SAK for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry at least one red edc item, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days.  Post a pic for Halloween of your pumpkin (or turnip or gourd or whatever you traditionally carve for Halloween!) being carved by any SAK, multitool, pocket or woods knife you may own!  Only available once a year Participate in a Challenge thread and post a photo of a SAK-alike, aka multi-layered, knife-based pocket tools for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry a keychain tool with pliers, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days Start a new thread and post a photo of any gear for thirty (30) consecutive days during the MTo anniversary month. For 30 consecutive days carry a SAK with a magnifying glass, and post a picture every day in the designated thread. Start a new thread and post a photo of the multitool for thirty (30) consecutive days. Must start a thread showing a photo of at least five BO tools Participate in a Challenge thread, carry a Victorinox Hiker, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Start a new thread and post a photo of the multitool for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry a Leatherman Bond, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Start a new thread with a photo showing the axe in use Participate in a Challenge thread and post a photo of  a Opinel  knife  for 30 days Start a new thread and post a photo of the multitool for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a new thread and post a photo of the multitool for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Vic Spirit MT for sixty (60) consecutive days. Start a new thread and post a photo of the multitool for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a challenge by carrying  a Combo Edged knife or Multitool and post a photo of it  for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a MiniChamp SAK for thirty (30) consecutive days.

ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #148 on: February 27, 2025, 12:38:59 PM
Good morning everyone!

I found a spider in the house last night and I was just going to squish it but Megan told me to take it out and I did.

We had a couple of drinks, watched a game.  Nice guy. Apparently he's a web developer.

Have a great day everyone and I hope you all enjoy the sunshine while you can!

(There’s a storm coming this afternoon but everything is nice this morning.)

Def
Listen to the Official Podcast of Multitool.org:

It's The Podcast You Never Knew You Needed brought to you by The Only Forum That Matters!
Merit Badges Take part in the christmas pool or a rak type giveaway. Those wanting to say thank you for a rak may also nominate for the santa. For those who posted like a boss. Post your pocket dump photos then challenge two more members who must post their pocket dump photos within 24hrs for you to get the badge. Start a new thread with a photo of custom or non standard SAK scales in your collection Start a thread with a photo of a repair you made with duct tape Start a new thread including a photo of shooting at least two (2) different airguns and at least one (1) photo of target (airguns) Start a thread with a photo of at least ten OPT's in your collection Must start a thread with a photo of at least five (5) of your watches Must start a thread showing a photo of at least eight BO tools Start a thread with photos of at least 1 MTO branded tool in your collection Start a new thread showing photos of your outdoor cooking Must have a review written in the proper format and posted on the Main Site Start a new thread with a photo of at least 5 different Charge models in your collection

us Offline Barry Rowland

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #149 on: February 27, 2025, 04:18:02 PM
 :rofl:

Rain here Def.  Have a great day!
Barry
Merit Badges Start a thread with a photo of a repair you made with duct tape Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Classic SAK for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry at least one red edc item, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days.  Post a pic for Halloween of your pumpkin (or turnip or gourd or whatever you traditionally carve for Halloween!) being carved by any SAK, multitool, pocket or woods knife you may own!  Only available once a year Participate in a Challenge thread and post a photo of a SAK-alike, aka multi-layered, knife-based pocket tools for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry a keychain tool with pliers, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days Start a new thread and post a photo of any gear for thirty (30) consecutive days during the MTo anniversary month. For 30 consecutive days carry a SAK with a magnifying glass, and post a picture every day in the designated thread. Start a new thread and post a photo of the multitool for thirty (30) consecutive days. Must start a thread showing a photo of at least five BO tools Participate in a Challenge thread, carry a Victorinox Hiker, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Start a new thread and post a photo of the multitool for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry a Leatherman Bond, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Start a new thread with a photo showing the axe in use Participate in a Challenge thread and post a photo of  a Opinel  knife  for 30 days Start a new thread and post a photo of the multitool for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a new thread and post a photo of the multitool for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Vic Spirit MT for sixty (60) consecutive days. Start a new thread and post a photo of the multitool for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a challenge by carrying  a Combo Edged knife or Multitool and post a photo of it  for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a MiniChamp SAK for thirty (30) consecutive days.

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