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Non Tool Forum => The Break Room => Topic started by: Grant Lamontagne on July 22, 2014, 11:44:26 PM

Title: [CLOSED] 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Grant Lamontagne on July 22, 2014, 11:44:26 PM
I was going to do this last year but the mods talked me or of it. This year I didn't bother asking them, so here we go!

A Roast is a time honored tradition in which everyone gets together and takes cheap shots at someone, and I think it's high time we did something like that.  So, I'm putting myself on the dais and at your mercy!  Take your best shot at Dear Old Uncle Def, and if your joke makes me laugh harder than anyone else's, you win a bright yellow CRKT Eat'n Tool!

http://www.crkt.com/EatN-...nches-Carabiner-Clam-Only (http://www.crkt.com/EatN-Tool---Spoon-Fork-Bottle-Opener-ScrewdriverPry-Tip-Metric-Wrenches-Carabiner-Clam-Only)

And, for those of you that think you might not want to poke at the "big man" let me remind you of a few things....

1- I'm asking for it
2- No one is going to ban anyone for this because the mods were against it and doing it without their blessing means they probably want to see me taken down a p peg
3- Roasting is an honor bestowed upon people you respect and admire, so you'll all have to fake it to win!


We'll run this for a few days and I'll pick a winner sometime this weekend.  Enter as many times as you like, nothing is taboo- not my pink kayak, not my cross dressing, my occasional internet nudity or anything else you might find amusing.

What are the rules? None. Make em laugh, make em laugh, make em laaaaaauuuuugh!

Def

Sent from a digital multitool
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: derekmac on July 22, 2014, 11:48:27 PM
I have a feeling this is going to be good!!!


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: kirk13 on July 22, 2014, 11:51:26 PM
I'd like a portion of rump,medium to well done with a blue cheese sauce please :drool:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: detron on July 23, 2014, 12:04:10 AM
 >:D    I have to think about this,  however I am NOT ENTERING since I have one of these tools already!
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: microbe on July 23, 2014, 12:05:30 AM
Def, I want to tell you I love your posts, witty and smart, but the truth is you make me feel like a dyslexic and wish I was blind.
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: daverobson on July 23, 2014, 12:06:08 AM
If we're going to roast Def he'll have to be well done. :dwts:  :ahhh
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: RT1969 on July 23, 2014, 12:14:42 AM
If we're going to roast Def he'll have to be well done. :dwts:  :ahhh

Nah, that only leaves dry wit. All the juicy secrets would be gone!
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: microbe on July 23, 2014, 12:15:16 AM
One of Def's titles is "Head turd polisher". Can anyone make the man understand a polished turd it is still a turd? Anyway, I hope he washes his hands before he wraps and sends out that Eat-n-stool.
 
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: captain spaulding on July 23, 2014, 12:17:04 AM
Ahhh... the time honored roast.

I don't think I need to poke fun at you since being Canadian is punishment enough. Eh.  :dwts:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: detron on July 23, 2014, 12:17:36 AM
One of Def's titles is "Head turd polisher". Can anyone make the man understand a polished turd it is still a turd? Anyway, I hope he washes his hands before he wraps and sends out that Eat-n-stool.


 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: microbe on July 23, 2014, 12:24:35 AM
The other day when Def was cutting some wirefence with his Skeletool and pinched his hand badly,  he yelled out in agony "Sorry".
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: microbe on July 23, 2014, 12:26:53 AM
If we gonna roast Def, we need at least 3 barques!
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: microbe on July 23, 2014, 12:30:04 AM
I always wondered why he chose to call himself Def? Wouldn't dumb have been a better choice?
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: sawman on July 23, 2014, 12:31:04 AM
I always wondered why he chose to call himself Def? Wouldn't dumb have been a better choice?
:rofl:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: microbe on July 23, 2014, 12:36:05 AM
I always wondered why he chose to call himself Def? Wouldn't dumb have been a better choice?
:rofl:

LOL!
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: microbe on July 23, 2014, 12:44:54 AM
Ahhh... the time honored roast.

I don't think I need to poke fun at you since being Canadian is punishment enough. Eh.  :dwts:

Yeah, I feel sorry for him to. The guy probably had more hits with deer then with the ladies... But lets be thankful for that. Those lessons in life had him turn pc geek and start up MTO. Here's a pic of Def's early days, where it all started:
(http://www.smilefunny.com/pictures/geek-underwear-computers-repair.jpg)
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: microbe on July 23, 2014, 12:47:46 AM
If we gonna roast Def, we need at least 3 barques!

I usually don't quote myself - but everyone else seems to slow...

If we gonna roast Def, we need at least 3   4 barques!
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Millhouse on July 23, 2014, 01:25:06 AM
 :oops:      :whistle:     :dd:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: detron on July 23, 2014, 01:31:48 AM
:oops:      :whistle:     :dd:

hey girl!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90chZl-80aY
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: detron on July 23, 2014, 01:44:43 AM
(http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/R9_wrxT6HqM/maxresdefault.jpg)
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: stealth007s on July 23, 2014, 05:04:15 AM
I usually don't do to well with poking fun at people but here it goes. Def was once my Mo Bro for Team Multitool Movember. If I would've seen the pic Detron just posted before joining the team, I wouldn't have joined. Nice 'stache(?) Boss
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: microbe on July 23, 2014, 07:31:32 AM
 :rofl:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Etherealicer on July 23, 2014, 08:19:13 AM
I'm not really sure we can add to what he has done to himself already:

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v645/665ae/Other%20stuff/motivator93552f840e30e47d620f0f806a.jpg)
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Huntsman on July 23, 2014, 01:27:53 PM
Call that a hairy chest ??

Or was that just the patch you missed when you shaved.
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Monrogue on July 23, 2014, 02:52:38 PM
Ahhh... the time honored roast.

I don't think I need to poke fun at you since being Canadian is punishment enough. Eh.  :dwts:

Lol! :rofl:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: derekmac on July 23, 2014, 03:04:37 PM
Ahhh... the time honored roast.

I don't think I need to poke fun at you since being Canadian is punishment enough. Eh.  :dwts:

Lol! :rofl:
Don't you laugh at that, you're an honorary Canadian remember.  :pok: :rofl:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Monrogue on July 23, 2014, 03:12:53 PM
Ahhh... the time honored roast.

I don't think I need to poke fun at you since being Canadian is punishment enough. Eh.  :dwts:

Lol! :rofl:
Don't you laugh at that, you're an honorary Canadian remember.  :pok: :rofl:

Aw, BUSTED, eh? :whistle:  I thought that had been revoked for some reason :think:  Guess I'm stuck with it then :P 
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: detron on July 23, 2014, 03:20:57 PM
Ahhh... the time honored roast.

I don't think I need to poke fun at you since being Canadian is punishment enough. Eh.  :dwts:

Lol! :rofl:
Don't you laugh at that, you're an honorary Canadian remember.  :pok: :rofl:

 :rofl:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: bmot on July 23, 2014, 03:40:34 PM
All the ladies say Def's the fastest  :D 
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Monrogue on July 23, 2014, 03:51:36 PM
All the ladies say Def's the fastest  :D

At deploying his tool? :dwts: :rofl:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: daverobson on July 23, 2014, 04:26:41 PM
Monty Python- Lumberjack Song FULL (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZa26_esLBE#)


Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: bmot on July 23, 2014, 04:55:03 PM
I do find this hard... Def seems to be roasting himself continuously, so finding something original can be quite tricky. ::)
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: derekmac on July 23, 2014, 05:02:35 PM
There's one thing about Grant that might upset some here.  He has a really low opinion of others.  He considers them equals.   :rofl:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Aloha on July 23, 2014, 05:05:47 PM
I do find this hard... Def seems to be roasting himself continuously, so finding something original can be quite tricky. ::)

These were my thoughts exactly.  What has he not said about himself yet  :think:.  I wish he wouldn't take himself so serious   :rofl:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Monrogue on July 23, 2014, 05:44:06 PM
There's one thing about Grant that might upset some here.  He has a really low opinion of others.  He considers them equals.   :rofl:

Good one :rofl:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: captain spaulding on July 23, 2014, 05:57:09 PM
All the ladies say Def's the fastest  :D

At deploying his tool? :dwts: :rofl:

 :rofl:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: derekmac on July 23, 2014, 06:45:31 PM
All the ladies say Def's the fastest  :D

At deploying his tool? :dwts: :rofl:

 :rofl:
He thinks it's a Super Tool, but it's really only a Micra!
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: bmot on July 23, 2014, 06:47:22 PM
All the ladies say Def's the fastest  :D

At deploying his tool? :dwts: :rofl:

 :rofl:
He thinks it's a Super Tool, but it's really only a Micra!
Well, at least it's spring loaded then?
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: detron on July 23, 2014, 06:48:22 PM
All the ladies say Def's the fastest  :D

At deploying his tool? :dwts: :rofl:

 :rofl:
He thinks it's a Super Tool, but it's really only a Micra!
Well, at least it's spring loaded then?

Yes,  a Squirt!  ........    :facepalm:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Whoey on July 23, 2014, 06:55:16 PM
leave it to this forum to side track such a thread...  :facepalm:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: detron on July 23, 2014, 06:57:28 PM
leave it to this forum to side track such a thread...  :facepalm:

yep,  but the OP made it soo tempting
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: derekmac on July 23, 2014, 07:24:58 PM
leave it to this forum to side track such a thread...  :facepalm:
It got side tracked, just like Def's chromosomes.
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Monrogue on July 23, 2014, 08:44:38 PM
All the ladies say Def's the fastest  :D

At deploying his tool? :dwts: :rofl:

 :rofl:
He thinks it's a Super Tool, but it's really only a Micra!
Well, at least it's spring loaded then?

Yes,  a Squirt!  ........    :facepalm:

Oh man, this conversation has me laughing at work :rofl:  This is great stuff :tu:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Etherealicer on July 23, 2014, 09:53:00 PM
You're just a little boy, you think you're so cute,
You must talk so big, to make up for smaller things.

(http://forum.multitool.org/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=53533.0;attach=126925;image)

I mean the Jeep of course >:D
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Millhouse on July 23, 2014, 10:36:42 PM
Very well done Etherealicer.  :D
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: daverobson on July 23, 2014, 10:41:00 PM
Specsavers 'Eerie' (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xRJRuOXNjg#)

Trivia time
This was made in Hope, British Columbia, the same town that Rambo First Blood was filmed in.
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Nhoj on July 23, 2014, 10:43:16 PM
Def blames the wet air when his tools rust in his pockets, but maybe it's actually his wet pants.
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: daverobson on July 23, 2014, 11:12:00 PM
One day an Englishman, an American, and Def walked into a pub together.
They proceeded to each buy a pint of Molson Canadian.
Just as they were about to enjoy their beverage three flies landed in each of their pints.


The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.

The American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened.

Def picked the fly out of his drink and started shaking it over the pint, yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT!!!"

Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: daverobson on July 23, 2014, 11:33:59 PM
(http://i59.tinypic.com/25tl37n.jpg)
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Whoey on July 24, 2014, 12:43:21 PM
One day an Englishman, an American, and Def walked into a pub together.
They proceeded to each buy a pint of Molson Canadian.
Just as they were about to enjoy their beverage three flies landed in each of their pints.


The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.

The American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened.

Def picked the fly out of his drink and started shaking it over the pint, yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT!!!"

Sadly, this would only really happen if he ordered Labatt's Blue...
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Corwyn on July 24, 2014, 01:50:26 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBpgcZ1zYJs
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Etherealicer on July 24, 2014, 05:05:16 PM
Call that a hairy chest ??

Or was that just the patch you missed when you shaved.
Don't worry he got chest hair, once puberty hit him a couple of days ago:

(http://forum.multitool.org/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=53533.0;attach=126994;image)
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Monrogue on July 24, 2014, 05:11:58 PM
 :o :sa:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: derekmac on July 24, 2014, 05:16:51 PM
I almost threw up when I saw that.   :twak:   Which is ok, cause I actually did puke when I saw Def for the first time!!
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: daverobson on July 24, 2014, 05:28:02 PM
YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM CANADA WHEN ...

1. You only know three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.

2. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

3. Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.

4. You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.

5. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.

6. You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.

7. The local paper covers national and international headlines on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.

8. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

9. You find -40C a little chilly.

10. The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze.

11. You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelery and your Sorels.

12. You understand the Labatts Blue commercials.

13. You perk up when you hear the theme from "Hockey Night in Canada".

Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: daverobson on July 24, 2014, 05:30:30 PM
Def finally got his Canadian history exam results back.. He got an EH


Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: daverobson on July 24, 2014, 05:32:30 PM
If you're pressed for time don't ever try buying 'AA' batteries in Canada.

Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: daverobson on July 24, 2014, 05:47:22 PM
In a train car there were an American, a spectacular looking blonde, a fat lady and Def. During the trip the train passes through a dark tunnel, and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard. When the train exits the tunnel, Def had a big red slap mark on his cheek.

The blonde thought – “That Canadian idiot wanted to touch me and by mistake he must have put his hand on the fat lady, who in turn must have slapped his face.”

The fat lady thought – “This dirty old Canadian laid his hands on the blonde and she smacked him.”

Def thought – “That crazy American put his hand on that blonde and by mistake she slapped me.”

The American thought – “I hope there’s another tunnel soon so I can smack that stupid Canadian again.”

Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Monrogue on July 24, 2014, 05:54:56 PM
Lol!  Nice ones daverobson :tu:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: jerseydevil on July 24, 2014, 05:56:54 PM
Def finally got his Canadian history exam results back.. He got an EH
:D
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Millhouse on July 24, 2014, 06:20:00 PM
In an alternate universe.
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Corwyn on July 24, 2014, 06:46:56 PM
Not really a roast, but darned interesting:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiJ9fy1qSFI
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: microbe on July 24, 2014, 07:01:40 PM
Not really a roast, but darned interesting:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiJ9fy1qSFI

It is polished, but the shape is all wrong? It expected it to look like this:
(https://dontforgettravel.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/polished-turd.jpg)
Def? What is your verdict as head turd polisher?
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Etherealicer on July 24, 2014, 09:14:50 PM
I do find this hard... Def seems to be roasting himself continuously, so finding something original can be quite tricky. ::)

These were my thoughts exactly.  What has he not said about himself yet  :think:.  I wish he wouldn't take himself so serious   :rofl:
True, look what I found on his Facebook site:

Obviously made in Photoshop, and bad at that:
(http://forum.multitool.org/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=53533.0;attach=127007;image)

But he seems to be a true fan.
(http://forum.multitool.org/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=53533.0;attach=127009;image)
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Etherealicer on July 24, 2014, 09:16:54 PM
Behold the mighty DEFENDER

(http://forum.multitool.org/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=53533.0;attach=127013;image)
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: daverobson on July 25, 2014, 12:05:56 AM
Def's latest victim reports him to the Police.

(http://i60.tinypic.com/k564ib.jpg)
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: sawman on July 25, 2014, 12:07:50 AM
Def's latest victim reports him to the Police.

(http://i60.tinypic.com/k564ib.jpg)
:tu:  :rofl:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Huntsman on July 25, 2014, 12:26:16 AM
Dave your are putting in some very good bids here..
Loved the 'How you know you are a Canadian list!!"
Certainly had me laughing out loud  :D
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: derekmac on July 25, 2014, 12:29:37 AM

Dave your are putting in some very good bids here..
Loved the 'How you know you are a Canadian list!!"
Certainly had me laughing out loud  :D
Only 95% of them are accurate. :p


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: JAfromMn on July 25, 2014, 02:01:46 AM
I'd tell Def to get a haircut but he already did.
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: detron on July 25, 2014, 04:34:17 AM
(http://www.socialsuccessmastery.com/images/friendzone2.jpg)

(http://cdn.iwastesomuchtime.com/February-02-2012-00-23-42-tumblrlyn5b4svp81qzpsuoo1400.jpeg)
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Millhouse on July 25, 2014, 12:24:43 PM
The hunk that is our awesome leader.
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Chako on July 25, 2014, 01:38:23 PM
I am going to Oedipus Rex myself.  :)
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: daverobson on July 25, 2014, 02:40:00 PM
Canadian Defence cuts are starting to show now.
Here's Def with a colleague on parade with the Halifax Hussars at the Canada Day Parade.


(http://i60.tinypic.com/2iu9449.jpg)
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: jerseydevil on July 25, 2014, 03:04:31 PM
Canadian Defence cuts are starting to show now.
Here's Def with a colleague on parade with the Halifax Hussars at the Canada Day Parade.


(http://i60.tinypic.com/2iu9449.jpg)
As we've already established, it would be impossible for Grant to grow a beard and moustache that thick.  Must be a chin toupee....
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: daverobson on July 25, 2014, 03:42:50 PM
Canadian Defence cuts are starting to show now.
Here's Def with a colleague on parade with the Halifax Hussars at the Canada Day Parade.


As we've already established, it would be impossible for Grant to grow a beard and moustache that thick.  Must be a chin toupee....

Of course you're correct JD sorry about that.
I forgot to add this pic of Def during his recruit training wearing his Canadian Army regulation false beard.

(http://i58.tinypic.com/2m7b3w1.jpg)
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: jerseydevil on July 25, 2014, 03:48:10 PM
:rofl:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Aloha on July 25, 2014, 04:57:00 PM
Dave is killing me  :rofl:   
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Monrogue on July 25, 2014, 06:27:15 PM
Dave is killing me  :rofl:

Call him butter 'cause he's on a roll :rofl: :facepalm:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Etherealicer on July 25, 2014, 07:25:05 PM
Looks like I have to step up a bit to win that spork.

(http://forum.multitool.org/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=53533.0;attach=127050;image)
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Millhouse on July 25, 2014, 07:56:21 PM
1. Hippy Grant
2. Glamourous Grant
3. Famous Grant

Not entering this comp, just having a bit of fun.
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: microbe on July 25, 2014, 08:29:42 PM
Canadian Defence cuts are starting to show now.
Here's Def with a colleague on parade with the Halifax Hussars at the Canada Day Parade.


(http://i60.tinypic.com/2iu9449.jpg)
As we've already established, it would be impossible for Grant to grow a beard and moustache that thick.  Must be a chin toupee....

He could pull half a mullet each side of his face to his chin, and tie the both parts together. Would be close.  :whistle:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: microbe on July 25, 2014, 08:38:16 PM
Oh, any of you knew Def created a profile on match.com once?
They paired him with a couch and a bottle of hand lotion.
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: RT1969 on July 25, 2014, 08:39:02 PM
Last Canada Day:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuVsHt3rBnc

You can't see Def, because he is holding the camera.
That is the whole population of Canada, isn't it?  :whistle:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: derekmac on July 25, 2014, 08:39:47 PM
Oh, any of you knew Def created a profile on match.com once?
They paired him with a couch and a bottle of hand lotion.
:rofl:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: microbe on July 25, 2014, 08:44:00 PM
Def, when someone explains these jokes above to you, you gonna be so pissed.
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Aloha on July 25, 2014, 08:46:56 PM
Oh, any of you knew Def created a profile on match.com once?
They paired him with a couch and a bottle of hand lotion.


 :rofl:


Def, when someone explains these jokes above to you, you gonna be so pissed.

Microbe you made me scare my dog I just laughed out loud!!!   

 :rofl:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Monrogue on July 25, 2014, 08:48:55 PM
Def, when someone explains these jokes above to you, you gonna be so pissed.

 :rofl:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: microbe on July 25, 2014, 09:25:51 PM
Oh, any of you knew Def created a profile on match.com once?
They paired him with a couch and a bottle of hand lotion.


 :rofl:


Def, when someone explains these jokes above to you, you gonna be so pissed.

Microbe you made me scare my dog I just laughed out loud!!!   

 :rofl:

 :salute:

I know it's not fair. I bet he knows some of the words.
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: daverobson on July 25, 2014, 11:18:44 PM
The paparazzi have been following Def on his recent vacation.

(http://i58.tinypic.com/3507zar.jpg)

(http://i58.tinypic.com/2q16wt3.jpg)
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: detron on July 25, 2014, 11:54:35 PM
Oh, any of you knew Def created a profile on match.com once?
They paired him with a couch and a bottle of hand lotion.

nah,  he already has Uncle Def's Premium lube!  with the black cap, or the premium red one    :rofl:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: derekmac on July 26, 2014, 12:25:39 AM
Oh, any of you knew Def created a profile on match.com once?
They paired him with a couch and a bottle of hand lotion.

nah,  he already has Uncle Def's Premium lube!  with the black cap, or the premium red one    :rofl:
He only uses the red one for special occasions....  Short bus special!!
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: daverobson on July 26, 2014, 12:35:16 AM
I've just seen the results of Def's recent attempt at Moose Hunting.

(http://i60.tinypic.com/3vfno.jpg)
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Huntsman on July 26, 2014, 04:35:14 AM
Dave R
You have a British flag in your profile - Are you really British? You seem to understand Canada, Canadian culture and Canadians pretty well.
Lived there? Canadian friends? Canadian in the UK?

Well that was going to be my complete post - But as I was writing this, and as this is a roast thread, I guess I have to add.

.... "But that's not too difficult .... Well at least as far as Def is concerned"
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: daverobson on July 26, 2014, 02:20:29 PM
I've just discovered that Def has a part time job advertising on the internet.

(http://i58.tinypic.com/536wky.png)
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: daverobson on July 26, 2014, 02:38:30 PM
Dave R
You have a British flag in your profile - Are you really British? You seem to understand Canada, Canadian culture and Canadians pretty well.
Lived there? Canadian friends? Canadian in the UK?


In the early 1900's two of my Grandad's brothers emmigrated to the U.S. & Canada.
In 1940 my Mother (aged 13) was evacuated to Canada to stay with her Aunt & Uncle.
She was there for 4 years living in Oshawa & sailed home in Dec 1944 from Halifax NS.
Apparently, she loved every minute of it & didn't want to come home  :ahhh
I think I must have inherited a love of all things Canadian from her.  :rofl:

I don't know if Canada could have been that good, she left there to come home to the UK while the war was still on!
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Sweety-Sama on July 26, 2014, 05:07:12 PM
If Def travels in foreign countries, how does he survive without his Poutine? Or does he carry some canned Poutine with him?


-----------------------------
Using a future communicator stolen from the NCC-1701
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: RT1969 on July 26, 2014, 05:11:12 PM
If Def travels in foreign countries, how does he survive without his Poutine? Or does he carry some canned Poutine with him?


-----------------------------
Using a future communicator stolen from the NCC-1701

A can of Poutine in the left back pocket, between the Robertson screwdriver and a can of spray-on maple syrup would be my guess.  :D
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: detron on July 26, 2014, 05:18:12 PM
If Def travels in foreign countries, how does he survive without his Poutine? Or does he carry some canned Poutine with him?


-----------------------------
Using a future communicator stolen from the NCC-1701

I had to look up Poutine,

first, it sounds good.
second.  I have made something EXTREMELY similar before.
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: RT1969 on July 26, 2014, 06:33:37 PM
I had to look up Poutine,

first, it sounds good.
second.  I have made something EXTREMELY similar before.

Please step to the front of the line, sir.
You can leave your american passport with the customs officer.
A canadian certificate of citizenship will be presented to you after crossing the border.
Welcome to your new life, eh?


 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: detron on July 26, 2014, 06:43:20 PM
I had to look up Poutine,

first, it sounds good.
second.  I have made something EXTREMELY similar before.

Please step to the front of the line, sir.
You can leave your american passport with the customs officer.
A canadian certificate of citizenship will be presented to you after crossing the border.
Welcome to your new life, eh?


 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I expected such statements,  but it still sounds good
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Whoey on July 26, 2014, 06:51:31 PM
there's a lot of great Canadian cuisine...

you must of course have a beaver tail for dessert after your poutine...
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Grathr on July 26, 2014, 06:57:22 PM
Mmmmmm bever tail.... :drool:


Sent from a device made from star dust using tapatalk
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Sweety-Sama on July 26, 2014, 07:35:13 PM
And don't forget your marmite for breakfast!


-----------------------------
Using a future communicator stolen from the NCC-1701
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: daverobson on July 26, 2014, 08:56:16 PM
Did you know Def also works part time as a Super Hero?

(http://i58.tinypic.com/furpex.jpg)
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: detron on July 26, 2014, 08:57:43 PM
Did you know Def also works part time as a Super Hero?

(http://i58.tinypic.com/furpex.jpg)

that is who he is the sidekick for, 

Def looks like this when helping others

(http://rlv.zcache.com/canadian_beaver_superhero_postcards-re271646b092d4641a5225f9c0543f684_vgbaq_8byvr_512.jpg)
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: daverobson on July 26, 2014, 10:01:15 PM
Def learned about hockey at an early age.

(http://i60.tinypic.com/2s6loac.jpg)
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Corwyn on July 26, 2014, 10:17:25 PM
Hm.. seems the most popular Giveaway thread.. I guess people really crave that Eat'N'Tool  :whistle:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: daverobson on July 26, 2014, 10:22:58 PM
If you have a problem.
If no one else can help & if you can find Def.
Maybe you can hire

(http://i58.tinypic.com/15q5jyc.png)
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: microbe on July 26, 2014, 10:25:10 PM
Hm.. seems the most popular Giveaway thread.. I guess people really crave that Eat'N'Tool  :whistle:

The was one in another giveaway, which I somehow missed. :facepalm:
But this one is waaay more fun.  :whistle:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: microbe on July 26, 2014, 10:30:30 PM
Q: What's Def's best use for multi tool pliers?





...




A: Round off bolt heads.
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: detron on July 26, 2014, 10:32:48 PM
If you have a problem.
If no one else can help & if you can find Def.
Maybe you can hire

(http://i58.tinypic.com/15q5jyc.png)

 :rofl:   I LOVE the A-Team,  have the complete set on DVD,  and am very familiar with the opening dialect.  so this was EXTRA funny to me
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: microbe on July 26, 2014, 10:37:35 PM
Q: What's Def's best second use for multi tool pliers?





...




A: Setting a blood blister.
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: daverobson on July 27, 2014, 01:33:03 AM
I bet Def falls for this one every time.

(http://i58.tinypic.com/21mrjpv.jpg)

Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Huntsman on July 27, 2014, 03:30:38 AM
Dave R
You have a British flag in your profile - Are you really British? You seem to understand Canada, Canadian culture and Canadians pretty well.
Lived there? Canadian friends? Canadian in the UK?


In the early 1900's two of my Grandad's brothers emmigrated to the U.S. & Canada.
In 1940 my Mother (aged 13) was evacuated to Canada to stay with her Aunt & Uncle.
She was there for 4 years living in Oshawa & sailed home in Dec 1944 from Halifax NS.
Apparently, she loved every minute of it & didn't want to come home  :ahhh
I think I must have inherited a love of all things Canadian from her.  :rofl:
I don't know if Canada could have been that good, she left there to come home to the UK while the war was still on!

Thanks Dave - Nice, interesting story.
I've been to Canada a few times, and despite everything that is writtten in this thread, all of which is 100% true of course,  I love it - and Canadians are not bad either - eh?
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: detron on July 27, 2014, 05:04:19 AM
(http://www.sherv.net/cm/emoticons/trollface/u-mad-troll-smiley-emoticon.gif) (http://www.sherv.net/)

I know you are not,  but the smiley was too cool to not use
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Monrogue on July 27, 2014, 05:32:58 AM
(http://www.sherv.net/cm/emoticons/trollface/u-mad-troll-smiley-emoticon.gif) (http://www.sherv.net/)

I know you are not,  but the smiley was too cool to not use

That's great Detron :rofl:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: detron on July 27, 2014, 05:34:07 AM
(http://www.sherv.net/cm/emoticons/trollface/u-mad-troll-smiley-emoticon.gif) (http://www.sherv.net/)

I know you are not,  but the smiley was too cool to not use

That's great Detron :rofl:

I sure though it was epic!   one of the best I have ever seen
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: microbe on July 27, 2014, 11:16:52 AM
(http://www.sherv.net/cm/emoticons/trollface/u-mad-troll-smiley-emoticon.gif) (http://www.sherv.net/)

I know you are not,  but the smiley was too cool to not use

A troll image and an apology in one post?

Not sure if Canadian or not?
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: daverobson on July 27, 2014, 02:28:20 PM
During a recent Royal visit to Canada Def was introduced to the Queen & Prince Charles.

(http://i57.tinypic.com/2afhcoh.jpg)
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Grant Lamontagne on July 27, 2014, 02:36:33 PM
OK, going to let this one go a little longer but I'll announce the winner today!  This is all hilarious and it's going to be hard to pick a winner!

Def

Sent from a digital multitool

Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: microbe on July 27, 2014, 02:51:45 PM
(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bCDwhfQtXV4/TyQDxVvaLNI/AAAAAAAABPU/o6os7xE0UUQ/s1600/picking-nose.jpg)
Hard? Even an ape can pick a winner..  :whistle:
Def picking a winner
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Corwyn on July 27, 2014, 07:06:03 PM
Picking a winner:
Funny monkey faints after smelling his own ass ! Very funny (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swiRQ20HcF0#)
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Grant Lamontagne on July 28, 2014, 12:23:26 AM
One of Def's titles is "Head turd polisher". Can anyone make the man understand a polished turd it is still a turd? Anyway, I hope he washes his hands before he wraps and sends out that Eat-n-stool.
I guess you'll find out if I washed my hands first or not when it arrives!  Congratulations!

Send me a PM with your address and I'll get your prize out ASAP.

Def

Sent from my smurfing hunk of techno sorcery

Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Monrogue on July 28, 2014, 12:50:08 AM
Congrats microbe and thanks Grant!
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Aloha on July 28, 2014, 01:38:36 AM
Congrats Microbe, some funny stuff from those who participated.   
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: detron on July 28, 2014, 01:43:25 AM
That eat'n stool line cracked me up!  congrats!

thank you Grant and MTO!
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Grant Lamontagne on July 28, 2014, 03:01:28 AM
That eat'n stool line cracked me up!  congrats!

thank you Grant and MTO!

That line put this one over the top.  :D

Def
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: derekmac on July 28, 2014, 03:46:29 AM
Congrats Microbe!!
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Sweety-Sama on July 28, 2014, 06:24:33 AM
Congrats!
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: RT1969 on July 28, 2014, 08:13:14 AM
Congratulations Microbe, enjoy your Eat'n'Stool!

Somehow this sounds eerily fitting.
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: zoidberg on July 28, 2014, 08:17:54 AM
Congrats mate.  :cheers:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Etherealicer on July 28, 2014, 08:26:55 AM
Congratz Microbe

and just to be sure:
(http://evaq8.co.uk/images/D/C139%20A629L.jpg)
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: daverobson on July 28, 2014, 10:42:36 AM
Congrats Microbe  :salute:

Song: We must wash our hands in Spanish - Hay que lavarse las manos / www.SpanishPlayDates.com (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTvFpP2BCn4#)


I hope there's no hard feelings Grant, I love Canadians really!  :tu:

Canadian Flag, National Anthem, and Lyrics (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OOI8zw3X5s#)
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Grant Lamontagne on July 28, 2014, 12:01:52 PM
None at all- this was hilarious and great fun!  :D

Def

Sent from a digital multitool

Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: Grathr on July 28, 2014, 04:29:48 PM
Congrats microbe! :cheers:
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: jerseydevil on July 28, 2014, 05:07:05 PM
Congrats Microbe! :cheers:  This was a fun thread to read through.  Now, everybody behave until next July..... ::)
Title: Re: 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: microbe on July 28, 2014, 06:39:56 PM
Yeah! Poop joke FTW! :cheers:

Thanks Def for picking one of my entries - I tried reaaaaly hard to roast you to a "well done" level.

As said above - no hard feelings, and to tell the truth, you rock dude!
Great attitude! A Head turd polisher we can all be proud of!  :salute:

I raise my glass to you and to 8 years of MTO!  :drink:

*Thanks everyone for the congrats
 
Title: Re: [CLOSED] 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: microbe on August 07, 2014, 06:50:02 PM
The EatnTool got delivered today  :drink:
Thanks Grant and MTo for being awesome!
Pic of the doubble mail call today with the EatnTool, and a Style PS I grabbed for cheaps last week just in case I need to travel.
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/10380291_10153246380681664_7277734701064350844_n.jpg?oh=e4ad4103d804db47b9040b9659bfd989&oe=5444FB50&__gda__=1413130173_5f04a6f13d2bf8625cefc0a103076f1e)
Title: Re: [CLOSED] 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: detron on August 07, 2014, 06:51:07 PM
The EatnTool got delivered today  :drink:
Thanks Grant and MTo for being awesome!
Pic of the doubble mail call today with the EatnTool, and a Style PS I grabbed for cheaps last week just in case I need to travel.
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/10380291_10153246380681664_7277734701064350844_n.jpg?oh=e4ad4103d804db47b9040b9659bfd989&oe=5444FB50&__gda__=1413130173_5f04a6f13d2bf8625cefc0a103076f1e)

very nice!   very nice indeed!

Thank you CRKT and MTO!
Title: Re: [CLOSED] 8th Anniversary Celebration Def Roast!
Post by: microbe on August 07, 2014, 08:06:15 PM
Oops. Allmost forgot CRKT!
CRKT, you are awesome to  :cheers:
Thanks for suporting MTo.