Tools for Horror Movies

[TWBryan]

                 I've often watched horror movies and am appalled by how ill-prepared the average protagonist/victim is. Most of us here edc more items than any of these actors do. Wondering now just what useful things you would choose for a character to carry in a horror film?

My top choices:

1. Common sense, when you hear horrible sounds coming from the basement ,board the damn door shut and run for it.
2. Reliable transport. Does the get away car always have to stall?
3. Zippo lighter, I've seen them used to blow up stuff in horror films for years.
4. A good flashlight,they always seem to carry a piece of crap that dies while they're in the dark.
5. A good knife,much  better to cut ropes then try undo the knots.

What are your choices?

 

[yellowhammer]

 

[TWBryan]

            Didn't want to mention guns,as many here live in countries where ownership is prohibited. My choices :

DPMS Ar15 Dissipator,gives good service against zombie hordes.
Glock 21SF w/ night sights and TLR-1 tac light
Mossberg 500AT

[Mike, Lord of the Spammers!]

I'd settle for a humble kukri, there purpose in life seems to be to pluck the head from those pesky zombie's

I'd go for a zippo too

As for distance weapon, I think Rambo had it right, a decent bow firing decent exsplosive arrows

[Roadie]

I'd settle for a humble kukri, there purpose in life seems to be to pluck the head from those pesky zombie's

You seen Resident Evil: Extinction ? Milla Jovovich uses two of them with great effect!

Roadie

[Mike, Lord of the Spammers!]

I'd settle for a humble kukri, there purpose in life seems to be to pluck the head from those pesky zombie's

You seen Resident Evil: Extinction ? Milla Jovovich uses two of them with great effect!

Roadie

Not yet I haven't, I've just got a rich fantasy life

[WhichDawg]

ahh the Zombie problem! I found this once;

Ten WORST Things to Do During a Zombie Outbreak

10) Don’t set zombies on fire. Burning zombies smell terrible.

We’re not sure why you see it in every zombie movie, but it stands to reason that the only thing worse than a zombie is a flaming zombie. Remember, it can
take a long time for a zombie to burn to death - more than ten minutes, in some recorded cases. Do you really want a burning zombie lighting you and your friends on fire? Play it safe - chances are good that there won’t be any fire-fighting infrastructure during a zombie outbreak if things get out of hand.

9) Don’t get sentimental. Zombies won’t.

Sure, it’s your house. Sure, they were your family and friends. But now it’s a zombie nest, and they’re zombies. Stick around, and your best chance is to become zombie food - worst case, you’ll end up a zombie like the rest. Zombies don’t have any feelings - neither should you.

Don’t forget to shut the door behind you. Zombies often arrive without calling first.

Were you born in a barn? Zombies might not be the brightest, but they know an open door when they see one. Keep your suburban zombie fortress secure by remembering to close and lock the door behind you. And don’t slam it either! Zombies hate that.

7) Don’t keep zombies in the basement. Even if they are your zombie family.

Devotion to family and friends is touching. However, you don’t want them to be touching you, after they’re dead. Do yourself a favor and make sure you put zombie friends and family down properly. Remember, there is no zombie cure, and keeping them around only prolongs their suffering and increases the risk for everyone. Besides, do you really want to get eaten by your buddies?

6) Don’t try to reunite with friends / family over long distances.

Seems like a great idea, doesn’t it? That’s what everyone thinks. Look, do the math. If you leave your house at noon, heading toward your mum’s, traveling 3 km per hour, and a crowd of zombies leaves the general vicinity of your mum’s at the same time, heading toward you at 1 km per hour, what time will you get eaten by zombies? Skip the math and consult rule #9.

5) Don’t go down. Zombies can go down too.

Zombies can’t climb. You can. In light of this, why would you ever choose to go down, rather than up? Stay out of basements, gullies, sewers, and anyplace else that zombies might unwittingly wander / fall into and be unable to get out of. Remember, it’s unlikely that a human would be in a sewer, but zombies don’t care a whit about the smell.

4) Don’t broadcast your presence. Zombies may be listening.

Zombies that still retain their ears have been statistically shown to have above-average recognition of bassline frequencies. If you absolutely must blast music while killing zombies, do it on your Ipod, and you might want to consider delaying that block party until after the zombie outbreak blows over. During a zombie outbreak, remember to turn your cell phone to vibrate - it’s only polite.

3) Don’t stand in front of the window. That’s just foolish.

You’d think this one didn’t require stating, but apparently it does. Windows are an aesthetic defense against the environment, not protection against zombies and the living dead. Once you find your fortress, barricade the windows as quickly as possible and stay the hell away from them. Whatever you do, don’t deliver speeches with your back to them.

2) Don’t get too creative with zombie defense.

Sure, chainsaw slits in your van seemed like a good idea at the time, before you filled your car with fumes and exhaust, passed out at the wheel and got yourself sawed in half. The temptation to get very creative with zombie dispatching can seem almost unbearable at times, but when it comes to killing zombies, that old adage applies: Keep it simple, stupid!

1) Don’t be “that one a*****,” in your group.

Textual analysis of zombie movies has proven that “that one a*****,” a character ubiquitous in zombie and survival horror movies, only stands a 4.32% chance of surviving until the end of the movie.

Later studies have challenged that figure, citing several movies in which “that one a*****” was one-upped by “the other, bigger a*****,” who then assumed “that one a*****” status.

What do these figures mean? Being nice matters. To dramatically increase your chances of survival, make sure you always have “that one a*****” traveling in your party with you, otherwise you might end up playing the role of “that weak douchebag,” a similarly ill-fated character.

IMPORTANT NOTE: If you believe you are already “that one ******,” you should immediately leave your group. You might be able to pass as “that Kevin Costner anti-hero” if you’re traveling solo.

[Mike, Lord of the Spammers!]

Thanks for enlighting us whichdawg , that was very informative

[ducktapehero]

Much can be still be said for a couple of 19th century classics. The double barrel 12 gauge shotgun and a Bowie knife.

[Dtrain]

Amen,Not too much that a couple of bandoliers of buckshot and an 870 pump cant straighten out.

Dtrain

For everything else there's always Jessie's favorite........

"Old Painless"

[TWBryan]

             Y'know I've often wondered how fast those werewolves and suchlike can recover. You'd think a 12 ga blast in the eating equipment would leave 'em trying to gum you to death. I watched Dog Soldiers and puzzled about it a while...

[CQC-7]

I like the shotgun as zombie repellant.  I have grown up using the shotgun and I am more profecient with it than almost any other weapon.  Besides, it would be just like trap shooting.  Only the zombies are slower than most clay birds that I have encountered.

[TWBryan]

        If I have to make a run for it,I'll take an AR-15 ,lighter ammo,more rounds. For stationary a shotgun is good close up, for bigger things farther away there is the FAL. I like the old school zombies,these newer faster ones seem rather decadent...less class.

 

[J-sews]

The problem with rifles and pistols is the little bitty holes they make. Seems like oftentimes this isn't enough to discourage a determined zombie. Buckshot in the 5 to 10 foot range results in a much more pleasing, somewhat explosive effect. 

[Sea Monster]

I'm not sure what the debate is -

In England and Oz, the best Zombie-B-Gon is a Cricket bat.

For the yanks, it's a Slugger (is that what you call them?)

and for our happy leader it'd be a hockey stick.

A cricket bat is handy because if the Blade breaks off, the handle can still be used against vampires.

[ducktapehero]

For the yanks, it's a Slugger (is that what you call them?)

I just wanna point out that not all Americans are yanks. I certainly aint one. 

[J-sews]

For the yanks, it's a Slugger (is that what you call them?)

I just wanna point out that not all Americans are yanks. I certainly aint one. 

Heh-heh, I'm a Tiger myself, and the correct term is "baseball bat"

[jock1]

I prefer the N.E.D.S modding of the baseball bat .It involves about twenty 6inch nails hammer them into the thick end and you have a 21 century mace yes it sticks a bit you only have to hit once 

[TWBryan]

             I keep forgetting some of you folks aren't allowed firearms. You could do worse than an aluminum ball bat and a good kukri. I like small caliber guns for zombies,they only drop when you hit the brain anyway. Those damn werewolves are the picky ones, gotta be silver.

[CQC-7]

For the yanks, it's a Slugger (is that what you call them?)

I just wanna point out that not all Americans are yanks. I certainly aint one. 

Heh-heh, I'm a Tiger myself, and the correct term is "baseball bat"

The proper term is LOUISVILLE SLUGGER.  Pronounced (LOUIE-VILL-SLUG-ER).  Not to be confused with (LOUIE-VILL-SLUG-HER) which is only used on female zombies.   The sotgun is still a great zombie killing weapon.  Yeah, it is not a long range boomer but it is harder to miss the brain when you have a 6-12in margin for error at close range.  You Brits may be in trouble during a zombie invasion since many of yall dont own guns.  Just get across the pond, I'm sure there will be more guns available here.

[jock1]

Believe me there are guns available just not legally

[Mike, Lord of the Spammers!]

Believe me there are guns available just not legally

But the prices are way too high

[Sea Monster]

When the zombies attack, prices fall dramatically (I think we call it the "Cinder Block Through Window Discount" )

[WhichDawg]

speaking of expensive, this is the zombie shotgun I want! http://www.dlaskarms.com/

[J-sews]

speaking of expensive, this is the zombie shotgun I want! http://www.dlaskarms.com/

Wow! Makes me wonder why they even bother with a front sight...

[BIG-TARGET]

The only creature I know how to kill is a Vampire
Oldfashioned way, Steak through the Heart.
New way,according to Blade the Vampire hunter(Marvel comics/movie fame):"silver hollow point, filled with garlic. Aim for the head or the heart. Anything else, it's your A**!!"

[665ae]

How about one of these for Zombie control?

http://website.lineone.net/~da.cushman/ducksfoot.html

[WhichDawg]

omg 665ae! they are perdy, but I bet they are wrist breakers!

[Sea Monster]

Hmm, I'm sure something bigger and more badass than that has been in a horror movie.

I can't recall the movie title, but like all good horror movies it had monsters, a little girl, and an old man with a four (or more?) barreled shotgun.

It may have also had some kind of floating metal enemy.

[Spoonrobot]

I just saw Cloverfield, a different kind of horror movie. WOW! It was amazing.

Given that situation (mass chaos in an urban setting, huge monster running around with smaller monsters too) the only thing on a multi that seems like it would really help would be the blade. As such, I would go for the Surge. The larger one-handed knife and added weight would really help pierce the exoskeleton of the smaller monsters.

As for the bigger monster, just run.