What do you HATE seeing in review videos?

[derekmac]

I just wanted to share with you my very first review.  I think I did a bang up job! 
Please, feel free to share your thoughts.




***THIS IS NOT A REAL REVIEW***

[Syph007]

Guys with nasty dirty long fingernails that they show off when handling the product.   

[JAfromMn]

People who rebox something just so they can do a video of themselves unboxing it.

[jerseydevil]

I just wanted to share with you my very first review.  I think I did a bang up job! 
Please, feel free to share your thoughts.




***THIS IS NOT A REAL REVIEW***

  A hole, an edge, grippy handles and other stuff?  Sold!

[Aloha]

I'll try and watch the rest after I have a motion sickness pill. 

[ducttapetech]

I just wanted to share with you my very first review.  I think I did a bang up job! 
Please, feel free to share your thoughts.




***THIS IS NOT A REAL REVIEW***

Brahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
LMAO!!!

live from Nate's mobile

[captain spaulding]

 

Killer review. 

[CanadianLMfan]

 

[Huntsman]

I just wanted to share with you my very first review.  I think I did a bang up job! 
Please, feel free to share your thoughts.

Loved it - Especially the technical part (ie blade, handles, hole etc) - Had me laughing out loud 

I really feel I know this knife now and will have to go and buy one immediately.

[N_N_R]

  "This is a knife."

Oh. RLY???


 

[David]

    

[RT1969]

Great review derekmac!     

Things you have to improve for your next videos:

• Give us a 30sec intro of sepia coloured still photgraphs of dogs, a boat and an upside-down mountain underlayed with bad 90s softcore 'movie' music
• You need to have some kind of breathing problem, if you want to be taken serious as a reviewer!
• 1 extended cough or annoying laugh per video, minimum. (And don't even think of cutting this out before uploading!)
• You did not announce to review some awesome new knives next week, just to leave us hanging for 4 months.
• No bashing. How dare you make a video about a knife without telling us, that it is better than any other knife on the planet and who believes otherwise is just plain wrong! 
• Background noises. No cars, animals, playing toddlers, annoyed neighbours, etc. in your video. You have to break the concentration of your viewers!
• Likes. You have to pray, sob, beg, fight for likes and +1s nowadays. How better to convey "desperate!!!!1eleven!!!!" to your viewers, than to ask for likes: at the beginning, after the intro, in writing during the intro, at the end of the video, in the credits, in the annotation text, ....
• The credits. I missed "camera: derekmac - narration: derekmac - review: derekmac - guy that bought the knife: derekmac - guy that carries the knife: derekmac - guy that cut himself: derekmac - guy screaming in the ambulance on his way to the ER: derekmac"

See, with a little bit of improving you will be a YT review star in no time! 

Hoenstly: Thank you for your 'review' - Too much of those on YT, I was laughing all the way through and thinking of min. 10 'real' reviews that would be a perfect pt. 2 to yours! 

[dks]

Yes, I can not understand why anybody would watch a review like that:




Very little is said about the knife, it is not shown clearly, lots of unboxing and reading.... 

Come one!
Just show us the knife!! Nothing else!

[N_N_R]

@RT1,  YESSSS, I absolutely hate those long intros, wtf.

[RT1969]

Yes, I can not understand why anybody would watch a review like that:

Very little is said about the knife, it is not shown clearly, lots of unboxing and reading.... 

I am unsure what to say to this one... It reminds me of presentations we did in school at about a 7 grade level. And I am sure we are not dealing with the most intelligent american women here....

But

At least they cut out the bloopers you can see in the outtakes. And I noticed this high-pitched excitement, talking simultaniously, etc in enough people to not count it against these two.

But: Come on, you call yourself Baby Blue and your friend wears the blue top? This is just disturbing 

[dork]

or worse the paper cut test... WTF  

Ugh. The paper cut test. The relentless paper cut test.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[N_N_R]

Yes, I can not understand why anybody would watch a review like that:

Guys .......... You don't watch reviews like that because of the knives, you watch reviews like that because of the GIRLS!




But, LOL, I watched it for a while... and all the: OOOOH, WOOOOW, Awwwwwwwww!!, .... just... Oh mYYyy GooOOShhh....

[pfrsantos]

Yes, I can not understand why anybody would watch a review like that:




Very little is said about the knife, it is not shown clearly, lots of unboxing and reading.... 

Come one!
Just show us the knife!! Nothing else!

Please... Didn't you hear?! She loves Old Timers!
 

And what's that about "just show us the knife"?! Don't you know what a knife looks like?!
 

[RT1969]

Yes, I can not understand why anybody would watch a review like that:

Guys .......... You don't watch reviews like that because of the knives, you watch reviews like that because of the GIRLS!




But, LOL, I watched it for a while... and all the: OOOOH, WOOOOW, Awwwwwwwww!!, .... just... Oh mYYyy GooOOShhh....

You named it! 
If I would not have seen the video in this thread, I would have seen the first 10 seconds at most...
I can't stand girls talking like this in real life, hell am I watching them on the internet... 
YMMV of course, guys.

[pfrsantos]

Did anyone counted how many "Oh mYYyy GooOOShhh" were in this clip?

 

[derekmac]

Thanks everyone for your positive feedback!!

Great review derekmac!     

Things you have to improve for your next videos:

• Give us a 30sec intro of sepia coloured still photgraphs of dogs, a boat and an upside-down mountain underlayed with bad 90s softcore 'movie' music
• You need to have some kind of breathing problem, if you want to be taken serious as a reviewer!
• 1 extended cough or annoying laugh per video, minimum. (And don't even think of cutting this out before uploading!)
• You did not announce to review some awesome new knives next week, just to leave us hanging for 4 months.
• No bashing. How dare you make a video about a knife without telling us, that it is better than any other knife on the planet and who believes otherwise is just plain wrong! 
• Background noises. No cars, animals, playing toddlers, annoyed neighbours, etc. in your video. You have to break the concentration of your viewers!
• Likes. You have to pray, sob, beg, fight for likes and +1s nowadays. How better to convey "desperate!!!!1eleven!!!!" to your viewers, than to ask for likes: at the beginning, after the intro, in writing during the intro, at the end of the video, in the credits, in the annotation text, ....
• The credits. I missed "camera: derekmac - narration: derekmac - review: derekmac - guy that bought the knife: derekmac - guy that carries the knife: derekmac - guy that cut himself: derekmac - guy screaming in the ambulance on his way to the ER: derekmac"

See, with a little bit of improving you will be a YT review star in no time! 

Hoenstly: Thank you for your 'review' - Too much of those on YT, I was laughing all the way through and thinking of min. 10 'real' reviews that would be a perfect pt. 2 to yours! 

Those are some great tips, thank you!  For my next review, I'll use these to help make me seem like even more of a professional. 


 

[derekmac]

Yes, I can not understand why anybody would watch a review like that:




Very little is said about the knife, it is not shown clearly, lots of unboxing and reading.... 

Come one!
Just show us the knife!! Nothing else!

I didn't even notice the knife.   

[Syph007]

Yes, I can not understand why anybody would watch a review like that:




Very little is said about the knife, it is not shown clearly, lots of unboxing and reading.... 

Come one!
Just show us the knife!! Nothing else!

I didn't even notice the knife.   

I assumed it was a video for silicone and perfect posture.

[N_N_R]

Ok, I've just come across a weird Wingman review.... half the screen's taken but everything else but the tool and throughout the whole video you can enjoy lots of various ummmms as well as weird smack-y mouth-produced sounds.............

[captain spaulding]

Yes, I can not understand why anybody would watch a review like that:




Very little is said about the knife, it is not shown clearly, lots of unboxing and reading.... 

Come one!
Just show us the knife!! Nothing else!

I wouldn't mind more reviews like that. I couldn't see the knife for crap, but I wasn't looking anyways. 

[RT1969]

Ok, I've just come across a weird Wingman review.... half the screen's taken but everything else but the tool and throughout the whole video you can enjoy lots of various ummmms as well as weird smack-y mouth-produced sounds.............

How dare you post such a text without a link! 
I am kidding  , but a link would be nice nonetheless. 

[Sweety-Sama]

I think most of the review vids face a big problem: the people get nervous, they are on video talking and start mumbling and it starts sounding like they are talking about some forbidden tabu fetish... So amateur porn like! it's plainly embarrassing to listen to that!


-----------------------------
Using a future communicator stolen from the NCC-1701

[N_N_R]

Ok, I've just come across a weird Wingman review.... half the screen's taken but everything else but the tool and throughout the whole video you can enjoy lots of various ummmms as well as weird smack-y mouth-produced sounds.............

How dare you post such a text without a link! 
I am kidding  , but a link would be nice nonetheless. 

Sure.... I didn't post it because... well, what if it's someone from the forum      Still, here you go


P.S. The first time I couldn't endure the whole of the vid, so I stopped it after the first 3-4 minutes, but now I watched the whole of it... there's some *nose-action* later, too

[RT1969]

Now I see what you mean... Thank you for the link!

And a script, a neutral background and some editing is really needed for any review!

[sticktodrum]

Despite the humor in this thread, I'm getting a great idea as to what folks do that I continue to try to stay away from. Most of the time it's just in a effort to present as good a piece of content as possible. However when viewers point out specifics, it's good for me to actively think about what I may let slip.

Anyone care to critique my lame videos? http://youtube.com/sticktodrum

Don't be too harsh..