Ask her to marry me...

[Hyatt181]

First off all women are insane.
Second came from bill Murray take a trip together first.
I've been married for 10 years now. We dated for 7 before we got married.
Didn't live together until married. But we did several trips before marriage.


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[Hyatt181]

One more don't be afraid of a women who makes more then you. My wife for the last 3 years has made more then me and it's been great.



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[Cupboard]

My parents had known each other for less than a year, something like 7-8 months before they married. The last anniversary was their 25th.

I was at uni with a couple that had been dating for three years, living with each other for a further year and the marriage lasted at most 2 years.

You know your circumstances best, do what you both feel right with and are happiest doing, and best wishes to the both of you.

[Rux]

Not telling you what to do, just adding my two cents from my own personal experiences. I have a wonderful fiance that I absolutely adore and can't wait to marry. We've been together for 2.5 years. I'm a big believer in taking your time and really getting to know someone. The person you and she are now very well may not be the same come 10 years from now. Living with someone first is a great trial to really see if you mesh with someone on a day in/day out basis. Any and all quirks and craziness (from both sides!) come out when living together.

I waited until 6 months to tell her I loved her. A year into our relationship, we moved in together. At the 2 year marker was when I proposed.

I have a friend whom got engaged and married very quickly and in the same age range you are. 8 years later, he is renting my spare room and just got done with a bitter divorce.

You're talking life commitments and changes. Especially if you get kids involved. My friend that went through the divorce has 2 children with her, 4 and 6. While he hates her now, he has to be tolerant of her for at least the next 14 years and possibly longer. They also own 2 properties together as well as some joint credit cards and I think a car loan jointly.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking your time. I know you're in love and she sounds like a great girl. I still advise to take your time and try to get in a trial living situation with her.

I have another friend that's been with his girl for 3 years. They just moved in together about 5 months ago.

Upon moving in, he finds out that she's psychotically jealous and is now apartment hunting.

Better safe than sorry. It could be the difference between a wonderful thing or a troubled future.

This is coming from a guy that watched his mother go through 4 marriages and all the smurf that comes with it.

I'm of the opinion that the divorce rate is so high because people rush into decisions that really should be greatly analyzed.

Also when hard times come, they run instead of compromising and working through it. Which is what marriage is supposed to be, a lifelong commitment to your partner for better or worse.

I'll get off my soapbox now. Good luck, she sounds great! Just trying to add to the bigger picture other members are also painting.

EDIT: I just turned 30 and she's about to turn 29 for what it's worth. When I was 22-25 I wanted ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with the big M word.

[nate j]

Congratulations!

With regard to not having a lot of money, don't sweat it.  If people waited until they were completely financially comfortable to get married, most never would.  Just remember that marriage is "for richer or poorer", and don't let anyone else's expectations pressure the two of you into a wedding, reception, or honeymoon you can't afford.  If you desire, it is certainly possible to have a really fun and memorable event on a budget, especially if you have family and or close friends willing to pitch in (not necessarily financially, but by bringing food to share, making center pieces, etc.)

While there is some statistical correlation between length of courtship and marital success (http://www.sandiegodivorcecenter.com/marriage-success-related-to-how-long-you-dated), longer isn't always better, and the researcher is the first to admit that "It’s possible to have a happy marriage regardless of how long you dated".  Although we were young (I was 20, she 21), my wife and I were married seven months after we met.  Those who say people change some as they get older are not wrong; if you're committed to each another, however, that simply means it is a journey you take together.  We'll be celebrating our 12th wedding anniversary in September...

[b00mhower]

Have you guys been living together for the past 9+ months?  I do recommend to move in and live together for a while, before considering the proposal if you are not in a hurry.  I always feel a good marriage needs patience and acceptance, and there is no better trial than living together.

Somewhat, we have been staying together a few nights a week. We have thought about moving in together, but our pastor will not marry us if we are living together.. She really wants to stick by that, which is fine. I still do her yard work and the other "guy stuff" for her... Side note... I actually broke my replaceable wire cutters on my modded wave today fixing her fence...
I know we are both young and both do not have alot of money, but we have life goals, have the go get it attitude and have supportive famillys.  My goal is to be able to support her, especially because she is a type 1 diabetic and I am afraid working as hard as she is now will kill her. Plus I suppose I personally feel like the guy should be the bread winner and should support the girl.



Josh

I do believe that I've found my twin, Josh, I would stick to your plan of not living together. Stay the course bud -Josh


ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

[zoidberg]

I'm probably the last person anyone should listen to but I'll put it out there anyway.

You mentioned a Pastor. In those circles, he would be the best one to sit down with and discuss further the many things you need to give a lot of thought to regarding getting married. Then for some balance, seek out some older non religious people. They will be happy to share their experiances with you.