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1st Annual "Spammer of the Year" Award Show 2014

ch Offline Etherealicer

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1st Annual "Spammer of the Year" Award Show 2014
on: December 05, 2014, 07:28:48 PM

[Subtitles for the hearing impaired]: Kawooom Boooom Ratatatatataaaa....
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ch Offline Etherealicer

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Re: 1st Annual "Spammer of the Year" Award Show 2014
Reply #1 on: December 05, 2014, 07:28:56 PM
[On the screen we see various close up of MT's and SAKs (use your imagination), Samuel Jackson enters the stage from the left]
[Jackson]: Goodnight, goodnight. The weather is fine here in the Etherweb, so we can hope that the multitools are warm enough to be out of their sleeves. But what am I saying, the weather is always fine here in the Etherspace, there are only bits and bytes here, only ones and zeroes. But the people, the heroes, the legends we came out to celebrate, certainly are no zeroes, tonight we honer the Spammers.
[Dramatic pause]
[Jackson]: Who will win the Spammer of the year award?
[Jackson]: But first, lets go down to the red carpet where my good friend David is. David are you there?
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ch Offline Etherealicer

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Re: 1st Annual "Spammer of the Year" Award Show 2014
Reply #2 on: December 05, 2014, 07:29:08 PM
[Frost standing on the red-carpent. The crowd is out in masses and is loud and raunchy. Security generously sprays Soma on the horde, to keep them in check.]
[Frost]: Thank you Sam, and welcome Etherworld. In a short momement the stars of this years award show will arrive, but first lets walk the red carpet and interview whoever we find...
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ch Offline Etherealicer

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Re: 1st Annual "Spammer of the Year" Award Show 2014
Reply #3 on: December 05, 2014, 07:29:15 PM
[Frost]: It's Arnold Schwarzenegger, but why are there two of him? And why are all the dogs barking? Never mind that, I'm now with King Kong.
[King Kong gives Frost a mighty bearhug, only to realize the paradox of an ape giving a bearhung and instantly vanishing into surreality ripple.]
[Frost]: Smurf, I had some interesting questions lined up for Kong.
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ch Offline Etherealicer

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Re: 1st Annual "Spammer of the Year" Award Show 2014
Reply #4 on: December 05, 2014, 07:29:23 PM
[Frost, making a sad face, listening consentraded to the voice in his head(set)]
[Frost]: Sad news indeed. This just came in. One of the nominees, the NLC-chicken, can't make it to tonights award show, on the account of beeing eaten.
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ch Offline Etherealicer

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Re: 1st Annual "Spammer of the Year" Award Show 2014
Reply #5 on: December 05, 2014, 07:29:34 PM
[First on the red carpet is Etherealicer, no-one really cares, the crowd wants to see the nominees...]
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ch Offline Etherealicer

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Re: 1st Annual "Spammer of the Year" Award Show 2014
Reply #6 on: December 05, 2014, 07:29:43 PM
[Frost]: In another news, derekmac has been disqualified for using Jedi-mind-tricks on Lynn
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ch Offline Etherealicer

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Re: 1st Annual "Spammer of the Year" Award Show 2014
Reply #7 on: December 05, 2014, 07:29:49 PM
[Who is this? It's Cthulhu, looking sharp in his fashionable attire, expertedly crafted from humen skin. Sadly, Cthulhu got hungry on the red carpet and is now chewing on the liveless body of Tom Riddle. Then starting to maul more spectators with his tentacles.
Suddenly, a green flash and the stench of burnt fish. In a poof Cthulhu is warped into his own dimension.
]
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ch Offline Etherealicer

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Re: 1st Annual "Spammer of the Year" Award Show 2014
Reply #8 on: December 05, 2014, 07:29:59 PM
[Frost]: OCD Yoda, you saved mankind from insanity, how did you manage that?
[OCD Yoda]: Does matter not size
[Frost]: To purge the Etherwold from insanity, shouldn't you also slay Etherealicer Lord of Spam Instigation?
[OCD Yoda]: a Army for is Knife lightsaber match my no Swiss
[Frost]: I have no idea what he is saying... look there is Thor
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ch Offline Etherealicer

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Re: 1st Annual "Spammer of the Year" Award Show 2014
Reply #9 on: December 05, 2014, 07:30:10 PM
[Frost]: Thor, fabulous hair as always, how do you do it?
[Thor]: Laaaaarrd!!!! :viking:
[Frost]: You carry a Gerber Ding-Dong today, what happened to Mjölnir.
[Thor]: Ding-Dong more tactical, TAAACTICAAAAL! :viking:
« Last Edit: December 05, 2014, 07:34:51 PM by Etherealicer »
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ch Offline Etherealicer

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Re: 1st Annual "Spammer of the Year" Award Show 2014
Reply #10 on: December 05, 2014, 07:30:21 PM
[Frost]: The disqualification of derekmac has just been revoked, as using Jedi-mind-tricks is in the spirit of the Spammer Awards
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ch Offline Etherealicer

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Re: 1st Annual "Spammer of the Year" Award Show 2014
Reply #11 on: December 05, 2014, 07:30:36 PM
[Frost]: Rorschach, my Friend, what brings you out tonight?
[Rorschach]: I'm here to support Lynn 'cause she didn't compromise.
[Frost]: Yes, she did!
[Rorschach pulls out a gun and shoots Frost.]
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ch Offline Etherealicer

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Re: 1st Annual "Spammer of the Year" Award Show 2014
Reply #12 on: December 05, 2014, 07:30:51 PM
[Commercial Break]
It wouldn't be the internet without people complaining.


ch Offline Etherealicer

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Re: 1st Annual "Spammer of the Year" Award Show 2014
Reply #13 on: December 05, 2014, 07:31:00 PM
[We are back with a slightly distraught Mr. Jackson]
[Jackson]: We kick off the Award Show with a life performance of Diva Plavalaguna
[Blue lady on stage sings an epic song about SPAM]
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ch Offline Etherealicer

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Re: 1st Annual "Spammer of the Year" Award Show 2014
Reply #14 on: December 05, 2014, 07:31:07 PM
[Jackson]: Here to present the World Spam Award nominees is The Queen of Britain
[The Queen paddles in a pink canoe onto the stage. Audience boohs, they really want to get the show going, want to know who is the winner]
[Queen]: The nominees are Lynn LeFey, Megan, Sweety-Sama, derekmac, Ducttapetech, Mad Plumbarian, Monorogue, pfrsantos, Zodiberg
[The Queen pulls out a golden envelope and speaks with dramatic voice.]
[Queen]: In 3rd place are Lynn LeFey, Megan, derekmac, Ducttapetech, Mad Plumbarian, Monorogue, pfrsantos, congratiulations!
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ch Offline Etherealicer

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Re: 1st Annual "Spammer of the Year" Award Show 2014
Reply #15 on: December 05, 2014, 07:31:14 PM
[Commercial Break]
It wouldn't be the internet without people complaining.


ch Offline Etherealicer

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Re: 1st Annual "Spammer of the Year" Award Show 2014
Reply #16 on: December 05, 2014, 07:31:21 PM
[Jackson]: Before we announce the winner of the 2014 World Spam Award, Bruce Banner is here to hand over the Participation Award
[Badly shaved Bruce Banner scuffles on the stage, his hand badly shaking from nervousness, after all this is also a prestigeous price. Suddenly, he starts to grow and turns into Hulk]
[HULK]: SMAAAASHH
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ch Offline Etherealicer

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Re: 1st Annual "Spammer of the Year" Award Show 2014
Reply #17 on: December 05, 2014, 07:31:28 PM
[Commercial Break]
It wouldn't be the internet without people complaining.


ch Offline Etherealicer

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Re: 1st Annual "Spammer of the Year" Award Show 2014
Reply #18 on: December 05, 2014, 07:31:39 PM
[Jackson]: We will return as soon as we have rebuilt the stage.
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ch Offline Etherealicer

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Re: 1st Annual "Spammer of the Year" Award Show 2014
Reply #19 on: December 05, 2014, 07:31:45 PM
[Commercial Break]
It wouldn't be the internet without people complaining.


ch Offline Etherealicer

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Re: 1st Annual "Spammer of the Year" Award Show 2014
Reply #20 on: December 05, 2014, 07:31:51 PM
[Jackson]: Here to announce the winner of the Participation Award, please welcome Elvis
[Elvis walks onto the stage]
[Jackson]: Aren't you dead?
[Elvis]: No man, I just returned to my home planet in the outer rim of the nebula galaxy.
[Elvis pulls out another golden envelope]
[Elvis]: The winner of the 2014 Participation Price is...
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ch Offline Etherealicer

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Re: 1st Annual "Spammer of the Year" Award Show 2014
Reply #21 on: December 05, 2014, 07:31:58 PM
[Drummroll...]
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ch Offline Etherealicer

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Re: 1st Annual "Spammer of the Year" Award Show 2014
Reply #22 on: December 05, 2014, 07:32:05 PM
[Elvis]: Lynn LeFey, Congrats Lynn
[The whole audience is on their feet cheering and clapping, its a madhouse.]
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ch Offline Etherealicer

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Re: 1st Annual "Spammer of the Year" Award Show 2014
Reply #23 on: December 05, 2014, 07:32:15 PM
[Commercial Break]
It wouldn't be the internet without people complaining.


ch Offline Etherealicer

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Re: 1st Annual "Spammer of the Year" Award Show 2014
Reply #24 on: December 05, 2014, 07:32:23 PM
[Stage has been turned into a gigantic pool with artificial waves. On a surfboard we see Nick Rivers performing his #1 hit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7f_19nxNfjs
It wouldn't be the internet without people complaining.


ch Offline Etherealicer

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Re: 1st Annual "Spammer of the Year" Award Show 2014
Reply #25 on: December 05, 2014, 07:32:29 PM
[Jackson]: And now the moment we all have been waiting for. Greedo will announce the winner.
[Greedo walks onto the stage, suddenly Han Solo jumps from a shadowy corner]
[Solo]: I shot first.
[Solo]: I will present the price
[Jackson shoots Solo]
[Jackson]: After Indiana Jones 4 he is just not worthy anymore...
It wouldn't be the internet without people complaining.


ch Offline Etherealicer

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Re: 1st Annual "Spammer of the Year" Award Show 2014
Reply #26 on: December 05, 2014, 07:32:37 PM
[Commercial Break]
It wouldn't be the internet without people complaining.


ch Offline Etherealicer

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Re: 1st Annual "Spammer of the Year" Award Show 2014
Reply #27 on: December 05, 2014, 07:32:47 PM
[Jackson]: And now the moment we all have been waiting for. Sara Jean Underwood will announce the winner.
[Grant walks onto the stage, looking good in a really tight dress, in the background we see a tied up Sara Jean Underwood]
[Grant (speaking in a squeeky high voice)]: And the winner is...
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ch Offline Etherealicer

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Re: 1st Annual "Spammer of the Year" Award Show 2014
Reply #28 on: December 05, 2014, 07:32:54 PM
[More dramatic drummroll...]
It wouldn't be the internet without people complaining.


ch Offline Etherealicer

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Re: 1st Annual "Spammer of the Year" Award Show 2014
Reply #29 on: December 05, 2014, 07:33:01 PM
[Grant (speaking in his usual squeeky high voice)]:
ZOIDBERG
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