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The true story of the Chinese SAK 1340

No Life Club Posts: 2,422 Douglas's papa
The true story of the Chinese SAK
« on: December 20, 2017, 09:51:26 PM »
OK, time to come out with the absolute true story. I swear on a stack of Chinese Champs 100 feet high, this story is the truth, the whole truth & nothing but the truth.   :whistle: 
As most of you know by now, this all took place shortly after my becoming a member here.I decided that being a member here I should have at least a few specimens of Swiss Army Knives so I sent all 3 of my Champs to the Vic spa for rehab. Suddenly it was very lonely around here. Hey, you try carrying the same thing every day for more than 40 years. Then see how you feel when all of a sudden it is not there anymore.
 This is where the story actually begins. I wandered on to that most evil of all websites , (shudder) EBAY, (cringe in fear). There I started looking. One of the things that came up was a photo of something that looked just like my beloved Champs. Better yet the price was only $7.00 US, a real bargain seemingly.
Now ya have to understand that yours truly is just a backwoods hillbilly, from the high plains desert of west Texas, and not really well versed in the nuances, of world trade.
 Now not much thought was given to this at the time, but the loneliness of being without my beloved Champs was eating away at me. I kept thinking about at least having something that looked and felt, at least sorta, like my beloved Champs.
 Now I know you have all seen them, the pleas from all kinds of charities asking for money to save starving kids in some backwater place on the other side of the world, doesn't matter where you are it is on the other side. Well China is on the other side from me, I got to thinking. That never seems to be a good thing, me thinking that is. Now in China the average income is somewhere around $3.10 US yearly. That means that that knife would provide a yearly income to 2, count them 2, starving Chinese employees families. Plus some profit for the poor knife makers family.

So ya see by ordering this knife I would be being good, so Santa would not leave coal in my Christmas stocking . It was a win win all around, starving kids with knobby knees would have family support, and I would have a gap filler until my Champs came home.
The absolute best of all possible worlds, at least the thought processes of this cowboy hat wearin' Texican hillbilly said so.
  Well I ordered it and then came to my new friends at MTo to tell them what a wonderous deed I had just done.
Total shock and amazement, I was stripped of my SAK knight banner & made to stand in the corner with my dunce hat on.
I learned that the folks in China are not starving and they are looking for backwoods hillbillies just to scam them outta their dollars. I wish I had known before but I know better now.

Oh and the moral of this story........Save your Confederate money boys, The south is gonna rise again.

 :climber:
« Last Edit: December 20, 2017, 10:40:32 PM by Butch »

Shoot low sheriff, they're riddin' shetlands
SAKMC unit number BR549
137% Redneck
I would like to apologise to anyone I have not offended. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly.
Just a small personal observation.  ...........I would not be at all surprised that when God created the Earth & the heavens, that the SwissChamp was the tool he used. .............. :hatsoff:
Absolute Zombie Club Posts: 21,380

Nix us

********* * *
Re: The true srory of the Chinese SAK
« Reply #1 on: December 20, 2017, 10:03:11 PM »

heterodox, not in the box
Zombie Apprentice Posts: 15,116 Yoo-hoo, big summer blowout!
Re: The true srory of the Chinese SAK
« Reply #2 on: December 20, 2017, 10:06:30 PM »
"The true sorry of the Chinese SAK"

(That's how I read it) :facepalm:

Hooked, like everyone else. ;)

All hail the hook!
No Life Club Posts: 2,422 Douglas's papa
Re: The true srory of the Chinese SAK
« Reply #3 on: December 20, 2017, 10:09:21 PM »
"The true sorry of the Chinese SAK"

(That's how I read it) :facepalm:

Hey I admited to being a hillbilly........ :whistle:....... :drink:

Shoot low sheriff, they're riddin' shetlands
SAKMC unit number BR549
137% Redneck
I would like to apologise to anyone I have not offended. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly.
Just a small personal observation.  ...........I would not be at all surprised that when God created the Earth & the heavens, that the SwissChamp was the tool he used. .............. :hatsoff:
No Life Club Posts: 2,612
Re: The true story of the Chinese SAK
« Reply #4 on: December 20, 2017, 10:15:15 PM »
Butch, Butch, oh Butch


I feel your pain...


HAHAHAHA
No Life Club Posts: 3,278
Re: The true story of the Chinese SAK
« Reply #5 on: December 20, 2017, 10:15:29 PM »
Maybe the good people of Texas should start building their own fake Chinese SAKs... I'd certainly buy one if it helps some orphan beat rickets, polio or tuberculosis.
Or pays for his banjo lessons!
Zombie Apprentice Posts: 14,648
Re: The true story of the Chinese SAK
« Reply #6 on: December 20, 2017, 10:45:31 PM »
Hey! Stop acting like a victim while you're obviously the perpetrator here! :twak:

Even Douglas shook his head in shame when you informed our comunity...
He actualy had to start the MTO Pioneer X project to clear the family's name :sa:
Absolutely No Life Club Posts: 7,909 Any tool is better than nothing. Some not by much
Re: The true story of the Chinese SAK
« Reply #7 on: December 20, 2017, 10:53:22 PM »
Don't listen to all this negging, Butch. Carry that Chinesium chunk of fail with PRIDE.

I have a LOT of CAKs (That's 'Chinese Army Knives'). Heck, it seems like people on these boards goad me into getting them.

"This thing is crap. You know who ought to have one... I mean besides Chako? Hey, Lynn!"  :rofl:

I know, in my heart of hearts that one day.... Oh, ONE DAY, I will find one that's all the way to 'OK'.  :D
No Life Club Posts: 2,422 Douglas's papa
Re: The true story of the Chinese SAK
« Reply #8 on: December 20, 2017, 11:02:27 PM »
Hey! Stop acting like a victim while you're obviously the perpetrator here! :twak:

Even Douglas shook his head in shame when you informed our comunity...
He actualy had to start the MTO Pioneer X project to clear the family's name :sa:

(*PHBBT*) :ahhh :drink:

Shoot low sheriff, they're riddin' shetlands
SAKMC unit number BR549
137% Redneck
I would like to apologise to anyone I have not offended. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly.
Just a small personal observation.  ...........I would not be at all surprised that when God created the Earth & the heavens, that the SwissChamp was the tool he used. .............. :hatsoff:
No Life Club Posts: 2,422 Douglas's papa
Re: The true story of the Chinese SAK
« Reply #9 on: December 20, 2017, 11:04:56 PM »
Don't listen to all this negging, Butch. Carry that Chinesium chunk of fail with PRIDE.

I have a LOT of CAKs (That's 'Chinese Army Knives'). Heck, it seems like people on these boards goad me into getting them.

"This thing is crap. You know who ought to have one... I mean besides Chako? Hey, Lynn!"  :rofl:

I know, in my heart of hearts that one day.... Oh, ONE DAY, I will find one that's all the way to 'OK'.  :D

 :like:    :climber: :cheers:


Now if Pabs could just do a banana dance.........sigh.  :drink:

Shoot low sheriff, they're riddin' shetlands
SAKMC unit number BR549
137% Redneck
I would like to apologise to anyone I have not offended. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly.
Just a small personal observation.  ...........I would not be at all surprised that when God created the Earth & the heavens, that the SwissChamp was the tool he used. .............. :hatsoff:
Zombie Apprentice Posts: 15,116 Yoo-hoo, big summer blowout!
Re: The true story of the Chinese SAK
« Reply #10 on: December 20, 2017, 11:53:02 PM »
Don't listen to all this negging, Butch. Carry that Chinesium chunk of fail with PRIDE.

I have a LOT of CAKs (That's 'Chinese Army Knives'). Heck, it seems like people on these boards goad me into getting them.

"This thing is crap. You know who ought to have one... I mean besides Chako? Hey, Lynn!"  :rofl:

I know, in my heart of hearts that one day.... Oh, ONE DAY, I will find one that's all the way to 'OK'.  :D

 :like:    :climber: :cheers:


Now if Pabs could just do a banana dance.........sigh.  :drink:
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                                 :nanadance:
                                 :ahhh
                                    :nanadance:
                                    :ahhh
                                       :nanadance:
                                       :ahhh
                                          :nanadance:
                                          :ahhh
                                          :nanadance:
                                          :ahhh
                                       :nanadance:
                                      :ahhh
                                   :nanadance:
                                   :ahhh
                                :nanadance:
                                :ahhh
                             :nanadance:
                             :ahhh
                          :nanadance:
                          :ahhh
                       :nanadance:
                       :ahhh
                    :nanadance:
                    :ahhh
                 :nanadance:
                 :ahhh
              :nanadance:
              :ahhh
           :nanadance:
           :ahhh
        :nanadance:
        :ahhh
     :nanadance:
     :ahhh
  :nanadance:
  :ahhh   
:nanadance:
:ahhh         
:nanadance:   
:ahhh                                                     
   :nanadance:     
   :ahhh
      :nanadance:         
      :ahhh
         :nanadance:
         :ahhh
            :nanadance:
            :ahhh
               :nanadance:
               :ahhh
                  :nanadance:
                  :ahhh
                     :nanadance:
                     :ahhh
                        :nanadance:
                        :ahhh
                           :nanadance:
                           :ahhh
                              :nanadance:
                              :ahhh
                                 :nanadance:
                                 :ahhh
                                    :nanadance:
                                    :ahhh
                                       :nanadance:
                                       :ahhh
                                          :nanadance:
                                          :ahhh
                                          :nanadance:
                                          :ahhh
                                       :nanadance:
                                      :ahhh
                                   :nanadance:
                                   :ahhh
                                :nanadance:
                                :ahhh
                             :nanadance:
                             :ahhh
                          :nanadance:
                          :ahhh
                       :nanadance:
                       :ahhh
                    :nanadance:
                    :ahhh
                 :nanadance:
                 :ahhh
              :nanadance:
              :ahhh
           :nanadance:
           :ahhh
        :nanadance:
        :ahhh
     :nanadance:
     :ahhh
  :nanadance:
  :ahhh   
:nanadance:
:ahhh         
:nanadance:   
:ahhh                                                     
   :nanadance:     
   :ahhh
      :nanadance:         
      :ahhh
         :nanadance:
         :ahhh
            :nanadance:
            :ahhh
               :nanadance:
               :ahhh
                  :nanadance:
                  :ahhh
                     :nanadance:
                     :ahhh
                        :nanadance:
                        :ahhh
                           :nanadance:
                           :ahhh
                              :nanadance:
                              :ahhh
                                 :nanadance:
                                 :ahhh
                                    :nanadance:
                                    :ahhh
                                       :nanadance:
                                       :ahhh
                                          :nanadance:
                                          :ahhh
                                          :nanadance:
                                          :ahhh
                                       :nanadance:
                                      :ahhh
                                   :nanadance:
                                   :ahhh
                                :nanadance:
                                :ahhh
                             :nanadance:
                             :ahhh
                          :nanadance:
                          :ahhh
                       :nanadance:
                       :ahhh
                    :nanadance:
                    :ahhh
                 :nanadance:
                 :ahhh
              :nanadance:
              :ahhh
           :nanadance:
           :ahhh
        :nanadance:
        :ahhh
     :nanadance:
     :ahhh
  :nanadance:
  :ahhh   
:nanadance:
:ahhh         
:nanadance:   
:ahhh                                                     
   :nanadance:     
   :ahhh
      :nanadance:         
      :ahhh
         :nanadance:
         :ahhh
            :nanadance:
            :ahhh
               :nanadance:
               :ahhh
                  :nanadance:
                  :ahhh
                     :nanadance:
                     :ahhh
                        :nanadance:
                        :ahhh
                           :nanadance:
                           :ahhh
                              :nanadance:
                              :ahhh
                                 :nanadance:
                                 :ahhh
                                    :nanadance:
                                    :ahhh
                                       :nanadance:
                                       :ahhh
                                          :nanadance:
                                          :ahhh
                                          :nanadance:
                                          :ahhh
                                       :nanadance:
                                      :ahhh
                                   :nanadance:
                                   :ahhh
                                :nanadance:
                                :ahhh
                             :nanadance:
                             :ahhh
                          :nanadance:
                          :ahhh
                       :nanadance:
                       :ahhh
                    :nanadance:
                    :ahhh
                 :nanadance:
                 :ahhh
              :nanadance:
              :ahhh
           :nanadance:
           :ahhh
        :nanadance:
        :ahhh
     :nanadance:
     :ahhh
  :nanadance:
  :ahhh   
:nanadance:
:ahhh         
:nanadance:   
:ahhh                                                     
   :nanadance:     
   :ahhh
      :nanadance:         
      :ahhh
         :nanadance:
         :ahhh
            :nanadance:
            :ahhh
               :nanadance:
               :ahhh
                  :nanadance:
                  :ahhh
                     :nanadance:
                     :ahhh
                        :nanadance:
                        :ahhh
                           :nanadance:
                           :ahhh
                              :nanadance:
                              :ahhh
                                 :nanadance:
                                 :ahhh
                                    :nanadance:
                                    :ahhh
                                       :nanadance:
                                       :ahhh
                                          :nanadance:
                                          :ahhh
                                          :nanadance:
                                          :ahhh
                                       :nanadance:
                                      :ahhh
                                   :nanadance:
                                   :ahhh
                                :nanadance:
                                :ahhh
                             :nanadance:
                             :ahhh
                          :nanadance:
                          :ahhh
                       :nanadance:
                       :ahhh
                    :nanadance:
                    :ahhh
                 :nanadance:
                 :ahhh
              :nanadance:
              :ahhh
           :nanadance:
           :ahhh
        :nanadance:
        :ahhh
     :nanadance:
     :ahhh
  :nanadance:
  :ahhh   
:nanadance:
:ahhh         

Hooked, like everyone else. ;)

All hail the hook!
No Life Club Posts: 2,422 Douglas's papa
Re: The true story of the Chinese SAK
« Reply #11 on: December 21, 2017, 12:00:56 AM »
 :like: :climber: :multi:

The true spirit of MTo shines through. :tu:

Shoot low sheriff, they're riddin' shetlands
SAKMC unit number BR549
137% Redneck
I would like to apologise to anyone I have not offended. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly.
Just a small personal observation.  ...........I would not be at all surprised that when God created the Earth & the heavens, that the SwissChamp was the tool he used. .............. :hatsoff:
No Life Club Posts: 3,278
Re: The true story of the Chinese SAK
« Reply #12 on: December 21, 2017, 12:03:27 AM »
Pablo owes me a new scroll wheel on my Chinese-made mouse. The old one just burst into flames from too much friction.
Zombie Apprentice Posts: 15,116 Yoo-hoo, big summer blowout!
Re: The true story of the Chinese SAK
« Reply #13 on: December 21, 2017, 12:16:18 AM »
Pablo owes me a new scroll wheel on my Chinese-made mouse. The old one just burst into flames from too much friction.
Didn't you see the 00-point small print?
Pablo accepts no responsibility for damages resulting from his bananas.  >:D

Hooked, like everyone else. ;)

All hail the hook!
Absolutely No Life Club Posts: 7,909 Any tool is better than nothing. Some not by much
Re: The true story of the Chinese SAK
« Reply #14 on: December 21, 2017, 12:26:22 AM »
Trying to find a Gwen Stefani 'The Sh** Is Bananas' meme pic, and thought this one was funnier.

No Life Club Posts: 4,064
Re: The true story of the Chinese SAK
« Reply #15 on: December 21, 2017, 02:40:31 AM »
NOT AGAIN :facepalm:

"LOGIC!  My God, the man's talking about logic!  We're talking about Universal Armageddon!"
Dr.  McCoy

MTo...The BEST place on Earth!
Thread Killer 2019 No Life Club Posts: 4,620
Re: The true story of the Chinese SAK
« Reply #16 on: December 21, 2017, 02:42:08 AM »
Pablo, that looks like Poncho's last EKG. :facepalm:

Butch, no.  It's going to take more contrition than that.  It was a nice story though.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ka8zUh4gYUw
No Life Club Posts: 2,422 Douglas's papa
Re: The true story of the Chinese SAK
« Reply #17 on: December 21, 2017, 02:53:20 AM »

Shoot low sheriff, they're riddin' shetlands
SAKMC unit number BR549
137% Redneck
I would like to apologise to anyone I have not offended. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly.
Just a small personal observation.  ...........I would not be at all surprised that when God created the Earth & the heavens, that the SwissChamp was the tool he used. .............. :hatsoff:
No Life Club Posts: 4,818 Apparently it is possible to have too many tools;)
Re: The true story of the Chinese SAK
« Reply #18 on: December 21, 2017, 03:35:35 AM »
And just like that, normal (well as normal as MTO ever gets) service was resumed (although many mouse wheels may have suffered slight damage and some keyboards may have had coffee or other beverages spluttered over them due to uncontrollable laughter)   :rofl:
« Last Edit: December 21, 2017, 03:36:41 AM by gregozedobe »

babola: "Enjoy your tools and don't be afraid to air your opinion and feelings here, but do it in courteous and respectable way toward others, of course."
No Life Club Posts: 2,422 Douglas's papa
Re: The true story of the Chinese SAK
« Reply #19 on: December 21, 2017, 03:54:16 AM »
Pablo, that looks like Poncho's last EKG. :facepalm:

Butch, no.  It's going to take more contrition than that.  It was a nice story though.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ka8zUh4gYUw

Ok, just give me time..........I'll think up another absolutely true story......... :think:

Shoot low sheriff, they're riddin' shetlands
SAKMC unit number BR549
137% Redneck
I would like to apologise to anyone I have not offended. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly.
Just a small personal observation.  ...........I would not be at all surprised that when God created the Earth & the heavens, that the SwissChamp was the tool he used. .............. :hatsoff:
Admin Team Absolute Zombie Club Posts: 20,242 mmmmm SAKrelicious
Re: The true story of the Chinese SAK
« Reply #20 on: December 22, 2017, 06:52:51 PM »

'Use the force Harry' - Gandalf
No Life Club Posts: 2,422 Douglas's papa
Re: The true story of the Chinese SAK
« Reply #21 on: December 22, 2017, 08:00:10 PM »

Shoot low sheriff, they're riddin' shetlands
SAKMC unit number BR549
137% Redneck
I would like to apologise to anyone I have not offended. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly.
Just a small personal observation.  ...........I would not be at all surprised that when God created the Earth & the heavens, that the SwissChamp was the tool he used. .............. :hatsoff:
Thread Killer 2017 Absolutely No Life Club Posts: 8,542 Born to multitask.
Re: The true story of the Chinese SAK
« Reply #22 on: December 23, 2017, 04:17:08 PM »
Trying to find a Gwen Stefani 'The Sh** Is Bananas' meme pic, and thought this one was funnier.

(Image removed from quote.)

No Life Club Posts: 2,422 Douglas's papa
Re: The true story of the Chinese SAK
« Reply #23 on: December 23, 2017, 04:48:50 PM »
 :like:

Shoot low sheriff, they're riddin' shetlands
SAKMC unit number BR549
137% Redneck
I would like to apologise to anyone I have not offended. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly.
Just a small personal observation.  ...........I would not be at all surprised that when God created the Earth & the heavens, that the SwissChamp was the tool he used. .............. :hatsoff:
Admin Team Absolute Zombie Club Posts: 20,242 mmmmm SAKrelicious
Re: The true story of the Chinese SAK
« Reply #24 on: December 23, 2017, 08:16:02 PM »

'Use the force Harry' - Gandalf
No Life Club Posts: 2,422 Douglas's papa
Re: The true story of the Chinese SAK
« Reply #25 on: December 23, 2017, 08:27:42 PM »
via Imgflip Meme Generator

Ok, ok I'm busy working on a new absolutely true CAK story. But I need some peace & quite so that I can decide what to tell.......... :climber:

Shoot low sheriff, they're riddin' shetlands
SAKMC unit number BR549
137% Redneck
I would like to apologise to anyone I have not offended. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly.
Just a small personal observation.  ...........I would not be at all surprised that when God created the Earth & the heavens, that the SwissChamp was the tool he used. .............. :hatsoff:
Admin Team Absolute Zombie Club Posts: 20,242 mmmmm SAKrelicious
Re: The true story of the Chinese SAK
« Reply #26 on: December 23, 2017, 08:46:34 PM »

'Use the force Harry' - Gandalf
No Life Club Posts: 2,422 Douglas's papa
Re: The true story of the Chinese SAK
« Reply #27 on: December 23, 2017, 09:26:43 PM »

Shoot low sheriff, they're riddin' shetlands
SAKMC unit number BR549
137% Redneck
I would like to apologise to anyone I have not offended. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly.
Just a small personal observation.  ...........I would not be at all surprised that when God created the Earth & the heavens, that the SwissChamp was the tool he used. .............. :hatsoff:
No Life Club Posts: 4,064
Re: The true story of the Chinese SAK
« Reply #28 on: December 23, 2017, 10:00:48 PM »

"LOGIC!  My God, the man's talking about logic!  We're talking about Universal Armageddon!"
Dr.  McCoy

MTo...The BEST place on Earth!
Zombie Apprentice Posts: 14,648
Re: The true story of the Chinese SAK
« Reply #29 on: December 23, 2017, 10:05:41 PM »

 

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