Al and Dan,You both are absolutely correct, however if I had waited I am certain I would have gotten just as many folks complaining that they would have liked to be informed right away. It's a difficult call to make, as it will be wrong whichever way I go. In the end, showing the family that we care and respect the lost member is, to me, more important than a bit of temporary upset in not knowing who. What I will say is that this member has probably not been active since either of you joined, and so neither of you are likely to have known him.Def
I have waited to post until I was ready. Our son, Tom, died suddenly last Tuesday. Two weeks before his 51st. Birthday and a day before my Birthday. He has been disabled for nearly 20 years due to a work-related injury. Prior to his injury, he was an avid Golfer, a 300 bowler, creative and innovative woodworker, an inventor with a patent, and a lover of life.He had a wonderful wit and a brilliant mind. He was slightly right of Atilla the Hun politically (these three qualities he obviously got from me!)As he and I were alone in iCU one evening and he lay comatose and unresponsive, I had a conversation with him. As I did so, I invited God to join us and I felt His presence. During that conversation, I told Tom how much I loved him and that I was entrusting him to God as his Heavenly Father as I was no longer able to be his earthly father.As we mourn, we do so with a mixture of relief that he is no longer in constant pain and sadness for his life that he was not able to live as he wanted.In thinking of the best way to honor Tom, I realized that due to my strokes, surgeries and heart conditions I have been living life defensively, afraid that something more would happen to prevent me from doing the things I wanted to do so not doing them.Tom's body failed him but, while mine is bowed, it is not broken and the best way to honor my son is to LIVE life. I might die tomorrow but, until I do, I will LIVE! I will take the River Cruise on the Columbia and Snake River, I will visit Lisa in Virginia, I will get back to the gym, I will volunteer at the Police Department, get back to writing, and the many other things I have put off till I was "confident" that I was "healthy" enough.The picture I chose here is one that portrays the Tom we had before his injuries. It is my computer screensaver and the way I will remember him. I love you Tom, and I will see you on the other side! Dad.