What makes you laugh? comics-jokes-etc----keep it clean please

Etherealicer · **on:** January 01, 2019, 01:20:27 PM

Swiss Military Marching Formation

Starts at about 0:40

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEKuYZKd30Y

MadPlumbarian · **Reply #1 on:** January 01, 2019, 05:17:47 PM

Oh god

Kinda reminds you of some of these wedding dances, where they switch up the music, but in “military form”
JR

MadPlumbarian · **Reply #2 on:** January 02, 2019, 02:16:55 AM

Lol, good one!
JR

CallsignBadger · **Reply #3 on:** January 02, 2019, 02:21:26 AM

ReamerPunch · **Reply #4 on:** January 02, 2019, 03:25:20 AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4dYWhkSbTU

moonweasel · **Reply #5 on:** January 02, 2019, 11:20:02 AM

Quote from: ReamerPunch on January 02, 2019, 03:25:20 AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4dYWhkSbTU

Entirely accurate

Antti Lammi · **Reply #6 on:** January 04, 2019, 10:13:59 PM

Explaining Men's Tools:

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat
metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and
flings your beer across the room, splattering it against that
freshly-stained heirloom piece you were drying.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere
under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and
hard-earned guitar callouses from fingers in about the time it takes you to
say, "YEOWW S**T...."

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their
holes until you die of old age.

SKIL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation
of blood-blisters. The most often tool used by all women.

BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor
touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija Board
principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion,
and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your
future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt
heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer
intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

WELDING GLOVES: Heavy duty leather gloves used to prolong the
conduction of intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various
flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease
inside the wheel hub you want the bearing race out of.

WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and
motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or 1/2
inch socket you've been searching for the last 45 minutes.

TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood
projectiles for testing wall integrity.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground
after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle
firmly under the bumper.

EIGHT-FOOT LONG YELLOW PINE 2X4: Used for levering an automobile
upward off of a trapped hydraulic jack handle.

TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters and wire wheel wires.

E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool ten times harder than any
known drill bit that snaps neatly off in bolt holes thereby ending any
possible future use.

RADIAL ARM SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most
shops to scare neophytes into choosing another line of work.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength
of everything you forgot to disconnect.

CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 24-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A very large pry bar that
inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end opposite
the handle.

AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw

TROUBLE LIGHT: The home mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called
a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin,"
which is not otherwise found under cars at night. Health benefits aside, its
main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate that
105mm howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first few hours of the
Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat
misleading.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under
lids and for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on
your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips
screw heads. Women excel at using this tool.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to
convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws.

AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning
power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that
travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty bolts
which were last over tightened 30 years ago by someone at Ford, and
instantly rounds off their heads. Also used to quickly snap off lug nuts.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or
bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is
used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent
the object we are trying to hit. Women primarily use it to make gaping holes
in walls when hanging pictures.

MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of
cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on
contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector
magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for
slicing work clothes, but only while in use.

DAMMIT TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling "DAMMIT" at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.

Only Tools Matters

MadPlumbarian · **Reply #7 on:** January 04, 2019, 10:19:38 PM

Lol, good one! I got quite a few of those last ones..
JR

CallsignBadger · **Reply #8 on:** January 04, 2019, 10:30:55 PM

MadPlumbarian · **Reply #9 on:** January 06, 2019, 06:23:42 AM

Lol
JR

CallsignBadger · **Reply #10 on:** January 06, 2019, 06:41:53 AM

MadPlumbarian · **Reply #11 on:** January 07, 2019, 04:52:49 AM

Lol..
JR

Don Pablo · **Reply #12 on:** January 07, 2019, 10:41:32 AM

Quote from: MadPlumbarian on January 07, 2019, 04:52:49 AM

Lol..
JR

Perpetual Motion Squad?

MadPlumbarian · **Reply #13 on:** January 10, 2019, 02:15:08 AM

Cute..
JR

CallsignBadger · **Reply #14 on:** January 10, 2019, 05:41:15 AM

MadPlumbarian · **Reply #15 on:** January 10, 2019, 08:06:28 PM

Lol..
JR

Fuzzbucket · **Reply #16 on:** January 11, 2019, 01:32:17 PM

... simple things apparently...

MadPlumbarian · **Reply #17 on:** January 11, 2019, 05:04:58 PM

Lol,

Just like any kid, lol
JR

MadPlumbarian · **Reply #18 on:** January 12, 2019, 01:27:40 AM

Lol,
JR

MadPlumbarian · **Reply #19 on:** January 12, 2019, 05:01:20 AM

What happens to a fire hydrant when at -25°
JR

MMR · **Reply #20 on:** January 14, 2019, 09:49:39 AM

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

MadPlumbarian · **Reply #21 on:** January 14, 2019, 08:18:56 PM

Lol..
JR

MadPlumbarian · **Reply #22 on:** January 14, 2019, 08:19:26 PM

Always that one!
JR

AlephZero · **Reply #23 on:** January 14, 2019, 08:43:54 PM

Well, maybe not in that cold, but I used to wear shorts and crocs in 5°C snd rain... Before my diabetes took over my feet that is

MadPlumbarian · **Reply #24 on:** January 14, 2019, 09:10:23 PM

Quote from: AlephZero on January 14, 2019, 08:43:54 PM

Well, maybe not in that cold, but I used to wear shorts and crocs in 5°C snd rain... Before my diabetes took over my feet that is

Err,

See my cousin would be that person, in shorts a jacket with the jeeps doors and roof off.. me forget it, I’d have to have thermal underwear on under pants!
JR