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Jokes for my work group

Grant Lamontagne · 82 · 1430
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us Offline powernoodle

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #60 on: November 18, 2024, 06:49:00 PM
What did the sock say to the hat?  "You go on ahead.  I'll follow on foot."    HAR HAR!   :whistle:
:doggy: :doggy: :doggy:

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ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #61 on: November 18, 2024, 11:43:44 PM
Good one!

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ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #62 on: November 19, 2024, 12:33:07 PM
Since I broke my phone I had to ask a coworker to share today’s joke for me.

Can you share today’s joke?

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels.

She responded that she was going to share her own joke today, so there may be another one coming!

Def
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ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #63 on: November 19, 2024, 03:10:13 PM
From Kate at worth this morning:

Quote
Since Grant has fully checked out, I'm here to deliver your daily forceful nasal exhale.

*cracks knuckles*

A dragon would never explode.

But a dino might.

I'll see myself out.

Stay safe out there!

I think she nailed it!

Def
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gb Offline andywork

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #64 on: November 19, 2024, 06:42:50 PM
Quote from: Grant Lamontagne on November 18, 2024, 02:21:28 PM

I have a confession to make.  I'm extremely afraid of elevators, and I have been taking steps to avoid them.

How are you coping with your elevator phobia?
I hear it can have a lot of ups and downs.

And, I’ve got to say, Kate’s joke had me…  :rofl:
I especially liked the, “ your daily forceful nasal exhale” build-up.

I guess you’ve taught her well.   :hatsoff:
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ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #65 on: November 20, 2024, 12:48:45 PM
 Yes, from the very first day she came to work with us I taught her the most valuable lesson.  When she makes a mistake (as all new people will) she is to respond with “that’s what Grant told me to do.”

It has helped her out on several occasions and so far no one has been willing to come to me over it. 

I may have a bit of a rep at work that keeps people from challenging me…….  :angel:

Anyways, on to today’s team joke.

Huge thanks to Kate for filling in yesterday! 

A detective and his assistant were at a train station when they find a watch on the ground.  The detective hands it to the assistant and says "what does this tell you?"

The assistant looks it over and says "it is gold and engraved which means someone wealthy with the initials JL owns it."

"And what else?" Says the detective.

"The engraving is worn down, which would indicate that it is old and probably handed down through two, possibly three generations" says the assistant.

"And what else?" Asks the detective again.

The assistant looks even more closely at the watch but can't seem to figure anything else out, so he says "I don't know, what else should I be seeing?"

The detective smiles, looks at the watch and says "by looking carefully at the face and the placement of the hands you will see that we have missed our train.

Have a great day everyone- and don't be surprised when your phone goes off at 1:55 today.  They are testing the emergency broadcast system.

Def
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ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #66 on: November 21, 2024, 02:00:04 PM
Today’s team joke is a classic!

Good morning folks! 

Sorry I'm a bit late with today's message, but I've been following a news story.  Apparently there has been a break in at the police department.  Thieves stole, of all things, the toilets from the police station.

The police have nothing to go on at this time.

I hope you have a great day everyone!

Def
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Merit Badges Take part in the christmas pool or a rak type giveaway. Those wanting to say thank you for a rak may also nominate for the santa. For those who posted like a boss. Post your pocket dump photos then challenge two more members who must post their pocket dump photos within 24hrs for you to get the badge. Start a new thread with a photo of custom or non standard SAK scales in your collection Start a thread with a photo of a repair you made with duct tape Start a new thread including a photo of shooting at least two (2) different airguns and at least one (1) photo of target (airguns) Start a thread with a photo of at least ten OPT's in your collection Must start a thread with a photo of at least five (5) of your watches Must start a thread showing a photo of at least eight BO tools Start a thread with photos of at least 1 MTO branded tool in your collection Start a new thread showing photos of your outdoor cooking Must have a review written in the proper format and posted on the Main Site Start a new thread with a photo of at least 5 different Charge models in your collection

gb Offline andywork

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #67 on: November 21, 2024, 06:44:07 PM
 :rofl: You can’t beat a bit of toilet humour…  :2tu:
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ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #68 on: November 22, 2024, 02:36:10 PM
I didn’t post a joke today- instead I offered a $10 gift card for coffee to whoever came up with the best joke. Only one person on my team shared a joke and so they are the winner by default.

The winning (and only joke is):

Two fish were in a tank.  One says to the other “do you have any idea how to drive this thing?”

Def
Leave the dents as they are- let your belongings show their scars as proudly as you do yours.
Merit Badges Take part in the christmas pool or a rak type giveaway. Those wanting to say thank you for a rak may also nominate for the santa. For those who posted like a boss. Post your pocket dump photos then challenge two more members who must post their pocket dump photos within 24hrs for you to get the badge. Start a new thread with a photo of custom or non standard SAK scales in your collection Start a thread with a photo of a repair you made with duct tape Start a new thread including a photo of shooting at least two (2) different airguns and at least one (1) photo of target (airguns) Start a thread with a photo of at least ten OPT's in your collection Must start a thread with a photo of at least five (5) of your watches Must start a thread showing a photo of at least eight BO tools Start a thread with photos of at least 1 MTO branded tool in your collection Start a new thread showing photos of your outdoor cooking Must have a review written in the proper format and posted on the Main Site Start a new thread with a photo of at least 5 different Charge models in your collection

us Offline Farmer X

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #69 on: November 23, 2024, 12:05:12 AM
That was pretty good. Was the gift card for Tim Horton's?

I'd share a joke, but most of my favorites are on the long side or off-color.
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ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #70 on: November 23, 2024, 12:56:25 PM
Quote from: Farmer X on November 23, 2024, 12:05:12 AM
That was pretty good. Was the gift card for Tim Horton's?

I'd share a joke, but most of my favorites are on the long side or off-color.

Yeah, there is a Tim Hortons across the road from our work site.

And a block away from our work site.

And at the next exit.

And at the previous exit.

And three more at the opposite end of the project. 

So yeah, it makes sense to give out a Tim's card.

Def
Leave the dents as they are- let your belongings show their scars as proudly as you do yours.
Merit Badges Take part in the christmas pool or a rak type giveaway. Those wanting to say thank you for a rak may also nominate for the santa. For those who posted like a boss. Post your pocket dump photos then challenge two more members who must post their pocket dump photos within 24hrs for you to get the badge. Start a new thread with a photo of custom or non standard SAK scales in your collection Start a thread with a photo of a repair you made with duct tape Start a new thread including a photo of shooting at least two (2) different airguns and at least one (1) photo of target (airguns) Start a thread with a photo of at least ten OPT's in your collection Must start a thread with a photo of at least five (5) of your watches Must start a thread showing a photo of at least eight BO tools Start a thread with photos of at least 1 MTO branded tool in your collection Start a new thread showing photos of your outdoor cooking Must have a review written in the proper format and posted on the Main Site Start a new thread with a photo of at least 5 different Charge models in your collection

ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #71 on: November 27, 2024, 12:58:53 PM
I was off the last couple of days with a sick car, so here’s the first joke for this week.

Good morning everyone!

I was arguing with a Flat Earther the other day and he said he was going to prove it to me by walking to the edge of the planet.

I think he will come around eventually.

Have a great day out there everyone!

Def
Leave the dents as they are- let your belongings show their scars as proudly as you do yours.
Merit Badges Take part in the christmas pool or a rak type giveaway. Those wanting to say thank you for a rak may also nominate for the santa. For those who posted like a boss. Post your pocket dump photos then challenge two more members who must post their pocket dump photos within 24hrs for you to get the badge. Start a new thread with a photo of custom or non standard SAK scales in your collection Start a thread with a photo of a repair you made with duct tape Start a new thread including a photo of shooting at least two (2) different airguns and at least one (1) photo of target (airguns) Start a thread with a photo of at least ten OPT's in your collection Must start a thread with a photo of at least five (5) of your watches Must start a thread showing a photo of at least eight BO tools Start a thread with photos of at least 1 MTO branded tool in your collection Start a new thread showing photos of your outdoor cooking Must have a review written in the proper format and posted on the Main Site Start a new thread with a photo of at least 5 different Charge models in your collection

ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #72 on: November 29, 2024, 01:07:35 PM
Today’s team joke:

Good morning everyone and Happy Friday!

Another wildlife tip for you today- if you put socks and shoes on a panda, it will still have bear feet!

Have a great weekend everyone!

And since I apparently forgot to share yesterday’s team joke:

Good morning everyone!

This morning I got up and almost broke my arm folding my bed into a couch.

It turns out that it's not that kind of bed.

I hope you all have a great (and safe!) day out there!

Def
Leave the dents as they are- let your belongings show their scars as proudly as you do yours.
Merit Badges Take part in the christmas pool or a rak type giveaway. Those wanting to say thank you for a rak may also nominate for the santa. For those who posted like a boss. Post your pocket dump photos then challenge two more members who must post their pocket dump photos within 24hrs for you to get the badge. Start a new thread with a photo of custom or non standard SAK scales in your collection Start a thread with a photo of a repair you made with duct tape Start a new thread including a photo of shooting at least two (2) different airguns and at least one (1) photo of target (airguns) Start a thread with a photo of at least ten OPT's in your collection Must start a thread with a photo of at least five (5) of your watches Must start a thread showing a photo of at least eight BO tools Start a thread with photos of at least 1 MTO branded tool in your collection Start a new thread showing photos of your outdoor cooking Must have a review written in the proper format and posted on the Main Site Start a new thread with a photo of at least 5 different Charge models in your collection

ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #73 on: December 02, 2024, 01:25:00 PM
Today’s team joke:

Good morning everyone!

I spent the weekend wondering what super power I would choose if I was able to have one.  I've decided I would choose the power of invisibility.

I just want to be clear.

Have a great day everyone, and stay safe out there!

Def
Leave the dents as they are- let your belongings show their scars as proudly as you do yours.
Merit Badges Take part in the christmas pool or a rak type giveaway. Those wanting to say thank you for a rak may also nominate for the santa. For those who posted like a boss. Post your pocket dump photos then challenge two more members who must post their pocket dump photos within 24hrs for you to get the badge. Start a new thread with a photo of custom or non standard SAK scales in your collection Start a thread with a photo of a repair you made with duct tape Start a new thread including a photo of shooting at least two (2) different airguns and at least one (1) photo of target (airguns) Start a thread with a photo of at least ten OPT's in your collection Must start a thread with a photo of at least five (5) of your watches Must start a thread showing a photo of at least eight BO tools Start a thread with photos of at least 1 MTO branded tool in your collection Start a new thread showing photos of your outdoor cooking Must have a review written in the proper format and posted on the Main Site Start a new thread with a photo of at least 5 different Charge models in your collection

ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #74 on: December 04, 2024, 01:04:34 PM
For today’s joke I am going to remind you we work in construction.  In reality, we do road construction so neither of these terms really apply, but I went there anyway!

Good morning everyone!

I know this job can be tedious at times, since not all things we do are equally exciting.

For example, enlarging a pre drilled hole is boring, while pinning two pieces of metal together is riveting.

Have a great day everyone!

Def
Leave the dents as they are- let your belongings show their scars as proudly as you do yours.
Merit Badges Take part in the christmas pool or a rak type giveaway. Those wanting to say thank you for a rak may also nominate for the santa. For those who posted like a boss. Post your pocket dump photos then challenge two more members who must post their pocket dump photos within 24hrs for you to get the badge. Start a new thread with a photo of custom or non standard SAK scales in your collection Start a thread with a photo of a repair you made with duct tape Start a new thread including a photo of shooting at least two (2) different airguns and at least one (1) photo of target (airguns) Start a thread with a photo of at least ten OPT's in your collection Must start a thread with a photo of at least five (5) of your watches Must start a thread showing a photo of at least eight BO tools Start a thread with photos of at least 1 MTO branded tool in your collection Start a new thread showing photos of your outdoor cooking Must have a review written in the proper format and posted on the Main Site Start a new thread with a photo of at least 5 different Charge models in your collection

gb Offline andywork

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #75 on: December 04, 2024, 07:09:14 PM
 :rofl: I really ‘dig’ it!! ;)
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us Offline Farmer X

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #76 on: December 04, 2024, 11:41:54 PM
 :rofl: I wasn't too good at riveting... :ahhh
USN 2000-2006

Culling of the knife and multi herds in progress...

If I pay five figures for something, it better have wings or a foundation!
Merit Badges Participants shall carry and use one Soldier knife, the model of their choosing, for the duration of the 90 days and post a picture each day. Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Farmer X SAK for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Delemont SAK for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate  in a Challenge thread and post a photo of a LM Pocket Survival Tool for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a new thread and post a photo of the multitool for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a new thread and post a photo of the pen for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a new thread with photos of your zip ties in use Complete a 30 day challenge for carrying a different Multi tool each day of the week based on one of the daily carry threads Participate in a Challenge and post a photo of a Traditional Scout Knife (No SAK's Allowed) for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a new thread and post a photo of any gear for thirty (30) consecutive days during the MTo anniversary month. Start a thread with a photo of a repair you made with duct tape Start a new thread with photos of at least 8 different Wenger models in your collection Must update or add a page on the Multitool.org Multitool Encyclopedia Start a new thread with photos of your Mora knives in use Start a new thread with photos of your hobo knives in use Start a new thread showing photos of your outdoor cooking Participate in a Challenge thread and post a photo of  a Leatherman Micra  for 30 days Must start a thread with a photo of at least three (3) of your watches Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Alox SAK for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a thread with a photo of at least ten OPT's in your collection Participate in a Challenge thread and post a photo of  a Case knife  for 30 days

us Offline powernoodle

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #77 on: December 05, 2024, 12:23:15 AM
Did you hear about the guy who didn't pay his exorcist?  He got repossessed!   

HAR HAR!

:doggy: :doggy: :doggy:

“Everything we call real is made of things that cannot be regarded as real. If quantum mechanics hasn't profoundly shocked you, you haven't understood it yet.”
― Niels Bohr
Merit Badges Start a new thread and post a photo of any gear for thirty (30) consecutive days during the MTo anniversary month. Participate in a Challenge thread and post a photo of  a Leatherman Micra  for 30 days Start a new thread and post a photo of the multitool for thirty (30) consecutive days. Must start a thread with a photo of at least five (5) of your watches Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a MiniChamp SAK for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Alox SAK for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a new thread and post a photo of the multitool for fifteen (15) consecutive days. Start a new thread or Post in a Challenge Thread and post a photo of a Spartan  for 30 days Start a new thread and post a photo of your gear for thirty (30) consecutive days. You must carry at least one item from every category of the gear list every day. Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Explorer SAK for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a challenge by carrying  a Combo Edged knife or Multitool and post a photo of it  for thirty (30) consecutive days. Take part in the christmas pool or a rak type giveaway. Those wanting to say thank you for a rak may also nominate for the santa. Participate  in a Challenge thread and post a photo of a LM Pocket Survival Tool for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Delemont SAK for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a new thread and post a photo of the leatherman (supertool, core, hacks) for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate  in a Challenge thread and post a photo of a Leatherman Skeletool for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a new thread and post a photo of a traditional folder for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate and contribute in Challenge thread and post a photo of a different blade each day for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Buck 112 Ranger for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a new thread and post a photo daily of any SAK 74mm or smaller ( you can switch it up daily ) for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a challenge thread and post a photo of a SAK Cybertool (any variant), Swisschamp, Champion or Toolchest for thirty (30) consecutive days.

ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #78 on: December 05, 2024, 01:19:01 PM
It’s snowing and raining today, and we work outdoors, hence the added warning to be careful.

Good morning everyone!

I got a fascinating new book recently.  It's called "How to survive falling down stairs."

It's a step by step guide that was published last fall.

Have a great day everyone and be careful on the roads!

Def
Leave the dents as they are- let your belongings show their scars as proudly as you do yours.
Merit Badges Take part in the christmas pool or a rak type giveaway. Those wanting to say thank you for a rak may also nominate for the santa. For those who posted like a boss. Post your pocket dump photos then challenge two more members who must post their pocket dump photos within 24hrs for you to get the badge. Start a new thread with a photo of custom or non standard SAK scales in your collection Start a thread with a photo of a repair you made with duct tape Start a new thread including a photo of shooting at least two (2) different airguns and at least one (1) photo of target (airguns) Start a thread with a photo of at least ten OPT's in your collection Must start a thread with a photo of at least five (5) of your watches Must start a thread showing a photo of at least eight BO tools Start a thread with photos of at least 1 MTO branded tool in your collection Start a new thread showing photos of your outdoor cooking Must have a review written in the proper format and posted on the Main Site Start a new thread with a photo of at least 5 different Charge models in your collection

ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #79 on: December 06, 2024, 02:25:06 PM
Good morning everyone and happy Friday!

I don't know what you all have planned for this weekend, but I suggest you all behave!

Remember, Prison is one word, but for some people it’s a whole sentence!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Def
Leave the dents as they are- let your belongings show their scars as proudly as you do yours.
Merit Badges Take part in the christmas pool or a rak type giveaway. Those wanting to say thank you for a rak may also nominate for the santa. For those who posted like a boss. Post your pocket dump photos then challenge two more members who must post their pocket dump photos within 24hrs for you to get the badge. Start a new thread with a photo of custom or non standard SAK scales in your collection Start a thread with a photo of a repair you made with duct tape Start a new thread including a photo of shooting at least two (2) different airguns and at least one (1) photo of target (airguns) Start a thread with a photo of at least ten OPT's in your collection Must start a thread with a photo of at least five (5) of your watches Must start a thread showing a photo of at least eight BO tools Start a thread with photos of at least 1 MTO branded tool in your collection Start a new thread showing photos of your outdoor cooking Must have a review written in the proper format and posted on the Main Site Start a new thread with a photo of at least 5 different Charge models in your collection

us Offline Farmer X

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #80 on: December 07, 2024, 12:39:37 AM
 :rofl:
USN 2000-2006

Culling of the knife and multi herds in progress...

If I pay five figures for something, it better have wings or a foundation!
Merit Badges Participants shall carry and use one Soldier knife, the model of their choosing, for the duration of the 90 days and post a picture each day. Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Farmer X SAK for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Delemont SAK for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate  in a Challenge thread and post a photo of a LM Pocket Survival Tool for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a new thread and post a photo of the multitool for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a new thread and post a photo of the pen for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a new thread with photos of your zip ties in use Complete a 30 day challenge for carrying a different Multi tool each day of the week based on one of the daily carry threads Participate in a Challenge and post a photo of a Traditional Scout Knife (No SAK's Allowed) for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a new thread and post a photo of any gear for thirty (30) consecutive days during the MTo anniversary month. Start a thread with a photo of a repair you made with duct tape Start a new thread with photos of at least 8 different Wenger models in your collection Must update or add a page on the Multitool.org Multitool Encyclopedia Start a new thread with photos of your Mora knives in use Start a new thread with photos of your hobo knives in use Start a new thread showing photos of your outdoor cooking Participate in a Challenge thread and post a photo of  a Leatherman Micra  for 30 days Must start a thread with a photo of at least three (3) of your watches Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Alox SAK for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a thread with a photo of at least ten OPT's in your collection Participate in a Challenge thread and post a photo of  a Case knife  for 30 days

ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #81 on: December 09, 2024, 01:01:37 PM
Todays team joke:

It's Monday everyone!

It's also December so be sure to dress warm even though wool sweaters don’t make any sense.  It takes three sheep to make one sweater, which is amazing to me. I didn’t even know sheep could knit.

Have a great day everyone!

Def
Leave the dents as they are- let your belongings show their scars as proudly as you do yours.
Merit Badges Take part in the christmas pool or a rak type giveaway. Those wanting to say thank you for a rak may also nominate for the santa. For those who posted like a boss. Post your pocket dump photos then challenge two more members who must post their pocket dump photos within 24hrs for you to get the badge. Start a new thread with a photo of custom or non standard SAK scales in your collection Start a thread with a photo of a repair you made with duct tape Start a new thread including a photo of shooting at least two (2) different airguns and at least one (1) photo of target (airguns) Start a thread with a photo of at least ten OPT's in your collection Must start a thread with a photo of at least five (5) of your watches Must start a thread showing a photo of at least eight BO tools Start a thread with photos of at least 1 MTO branded tool in your collection Start a new thread showing photos of your outdoor cooking Must have a review written in the proper format and posted on the Main Site Start a new thread with a photo of at least 5 different Charge models in your collection

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