You might be the parent of a toddler if...

[ducktapehero]

I made a list a few months ago. I have an almost 3 year old son and I put some of the things I've learned into a list.

You might be the parent of a toddler if….


Everything you own is sticky

You realize that, compared with a screaming kid, Teletubbies aren’t TOO annoying

You want to slap people when they talk about the “innocence” of children

You’ve been poked in the eye 10,000 times because your child just learned how to say “Eye”

You’ve bought your son over 50 Hot Wheels cars but only know where 12 are.

You’re managing to lose things at an unprecedented rate since your kid discovered the concept of the trash can.

You make big plans for you and your spouse to have a romantic evening and you ship the child to Grandma’s but after getting him/her up there you’re too tired to do anything.
   
Crayons, walls, need I say more?

You can determine whether you will need to kiss the boo-boo by the sound of the “thunk”

You realize that the end of the child that makes noise is a lot more annoying that the end of the child that makes poopie.

 NAP!!!! PLEASE JUST TAKE A NAP!!!

Shorts and cowboy boots is now fashion.

You realize the sheer genius of Dr. Seuss.

The look of your child’s face when he gets his Christmas present, and then proceeds to break it, is priceless.

Even your pets have that “frustrated” look.

You can try to teach them a word over and over again and they look at you like your nuts, you say a cuss word once and it instantly becomes the most used word in their vocabulary.

Coffee, and the occasional stiff drink, takes on a new meaning of importance.
 
The local McDonalds (or other restaurants with a play place and a Kid’s meal) treat you like royalty

The phrase “Don’t pet the dog with cheese on your hands” has ever been said at your house.

The same with the phrase “Don’t sneeze on the biscuits”

You realize that if we could tap into just 1 toddler’s energy supply, the nation’s energy crisis would be solved.

Despite all of the above, you wouldn’t trade being a parent for anything in the world!

[Grant Lamontagne]

Laughing my butt off at that, and I just sent it to my brother and his wife, who have a toddler in the house!  I just sent the kid a couple of Hot Wheels tracks for Christmas, and my brother says he needs "2 civil engineers and a welding torch to build" so guess who is going to get a new multitool in the mail soon?

My nephew loves little cars and I figure the Hot Wheels tracks all fit together, so I keep buying those figuring the kid will one day be able to race his cars through the entire house!

The best was when I was visiting last summer and my nephew said "Daddy, you drive like a crazy old woman!"  Three guesses where that came from- my brother constantly complains about absolutely everyone else on the road!

Def

[hawkchucker]

Barbie dream winabago. That is the worst thing to ever put together. That took 3 grown men 2 hrs to put together. PLUS we used most every tool in the rollaway. 15 min assembly my @@@

[Grant Lamontagne]

One Barbie's dream is another man's nightmare!   

Def

[hawkchucker]

 You said it. You really have to be just a structural eng. to get toys out of the packages today never mind put them together.

[Sea Monster]

It turns out that little spring was important after all.

[hawkchucker]

It turns out that little spring was important after all.

Holy crap you put one together!

[Dunc]

I once bought my Daughter "divorcee Barbie "

  It came with all Kens accessories      Also got my Nephew an empty box and told him it was an Action man deserter 


Dunc

[Benner]

LMAO!   That is so true dth.

What you have listed is just a normal week for me. 

[Grant Lamontagne]

I once bought my Daughter "divorcee Barbie "

  It came with all Kens accessories      Also got my Nephew an empty box and told him it was an Action man deserter 


Dunc

That's great- I heard the divorcee Barbie one, but never the Deserter bit!

For reference, Action Man is GI Joe to Americans.  Since a GI is a US soldier so in different markets the variations had different names.  Eventually, with the success of the 3 1/2" figures in the early 80's, they were called "Action Force" outide of North America.



I know this because growing up I had gotten Action Man toys from my family in Scotland, and later Action Force comics, which in many cases were identical to GI Joe comics, only the name and logos were changed.

Oh yeah, and I am a dork...

Def

[hawkchucker]

I actually wish I had all my GI JOE stuff. I had everything from the jets to choppers, to jeeps pulling the cannon. Christ I even hadthe Navey seal joe with the seasled. I saw the sled in an antique shop over the summer and without the box it was 2 grand.

[J-sews]

I can relate. What does it say when you see toys you had as a kid displayed in an antique shop?



On topic: great list there DTH! It's been a few years, but I know what of you speak!

[I'm Still Bison]

All I can say is;grandparenthood is a wonderful thing !Oh,and that of the 12 Hot Wheels cars you can find,only 7 will have all 4 wheels.

[Dtrain]

You said it. You really have to be just a structural eng. to get toys out of the packages today never mind put them together.

Well at least we have a vailis reason to buy more SAK's

Dtrain

[Dtrain]

I can go one better than "Even the Pets have a Frustrated look".When our youngest,he is 7 now was that age it seemed to me that our cat went into seclusion in our Linen closet until he turned 5.He was not mean to her.It seemed like all he wanted to do was pick her up,and carry her around,amd "Give Cupid Big Hugs".


Dtrain