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[DONE] Help needed buying on ebay 3382

Full Member Posts: 163
Re: [DONE] Help needed buying on ebay
« Reply #30 on: February 17, 2014, 05:45:28 PM »
GigaHz

I'm really sorry to hear about your wife and I truly hope you can find a way to at least minimize the symptoms.  When I blew my stack in that first message I didn't mean to make excuses but to give an explanation of what was going on at my end.

As for asking what would be a fair amount for your time?  I am not an American and have never even traveled there, so I have absolutely no idea of what the value of the dollar is in everyday life compared to the pound here in the UK.

As for not dropping it and your expectations?

I'll take being called names and insulted on the chin if I'm the one who caused the situation in the first place, and do my best to set things right as that's the way I was brought up.  But I will not turn the other cheek and let people walk over me when it seems like every attempt I make to rectify the problem gets ignored. Your message stating "my time is worthless to you" was the last straw in that regard.

As dmanuel said and has been my experience what is implied or expected can vary extensively from forum to forum, and anyone expecting a newcomer on a forum to know whats the norm there without any indicator does seem a bit steep.

While I personally have done a few of these kind of trades before my partner hasn't and as I already said she handled the last stages of the transaction on my behalf using my account here so you could get a prompt reply & payment for any additional costs. 

Should I of sent you a PM informing you of this? Probably, but given the family situation I had at the time I just packed a few things after work and was on my way to my brother's.  I gave my partner the instructions while I was packing and going through the door.
         
Philby is right, communicating through email & the written word in general can be very difficult.  About 50% of communication comes from body language and about 40% from the tone of voice used, only 10% involves the actual words used.

I normally try to carefully word any messages and if I had been handling this myself you would have seen a line somewhere offering you "a few bucks" for your time. 

dmanuel mentioned reputation as well, I try to treat the online world the same way I treat real life and that means having a thick skin from time to time.  I think twice before saying anything online to damage other peoples reputation just like you to in real life as that's just the polite thing to do & try to resolve anything before going down that road at all.  Its been my experience that this is how most people try to conduct themselves on the internet.

I'm sorry I had to bring this into the open and damaging your reputation but as you on straight for a personal attack on my reputation and called me out without even trying to resolve it and then ignored my own attempts I think I didn't have much choice. This post and the one before it was just an attempt to let everyone see what was happening for themselves and make up their own minds and do some damage limitation on my own reputation.

I've had my say and will let in rest now, thanks everyone for your time and patience with this.  I hope you won't think me too bad with this whole debacle.   
« Last Edit: February 17, 2014, 05:51:57 PM by Cauldronborn »
Zombie Apprentice Posts: 16,189 Little to the right...
Re: [DONE] Help needed buying on ebay
« Reply #31 on: February 17, 2014, 06:59:54 PM »
My thoughts are this. If someone is looking for help, and you offer it, that's it. If you want to get paid for your time, make sure you are honest and upfront with it.

If a friend asks you to help them with something, do you expect them to pay you for the help?

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with wanting a little something extra for helping out, just don't expect it, and don't call someone put in public if it doesn't happen.

We're too close and friendly here at MTO for things like this to happen in our great community, so please make peace and both sides let it be.

Again, I have zero bad things to say about either of you, I'm just an outsider voicing his opinion on what he sees on a public forum.

:cheers:


Sent from my iPhone 5 using Tapatalk

Absolutely No Life Club Posts: 7,249
Re: [DONE] Help needed buying on ebay
« Reply #32 on: February 17, 2014, 07:11:22 PM »
My thoughts are this. If someone is looking for help, and you offer it, that's it. If you want to get paid for your time, make sure you are honest and upfront with it.

That pretty well summarizes my thoughts as well...  :tu:

- Terry

Burn the land and boil the sea, you can't take the sky from me...
Global Moderator Zombie Apprentice Posts: 12,152 North American Meetup: May13-15 2011
Re: [DONE] Help needed buying on ebay
« Reply #33 on: February 17, 2014, 07:13:31 PM »
My thoughts are this. If someone is looking for help, and you offer it, that's it. If you want to get paid for your time, make sure you are honest and upfront with it.

That pretty well summarizes my thoughts as well...  :tu:

+1  :tu:

No Life Club Posts: 1,027
Re: [DONE] Help needed buying on ebay
« Reply #34 on: February 17, 2014, 07:24:54 PM »
I helped few members to buy some Wenger's which were available locally or from shops in Europe and, in all honesty, I never thought about charging (or asking for) something extra.
This is just my very personal "philosophy" and I'm not judging or comment the others decisions.
No Life Club Posts: 1,209 In a world of compromise, some don't.
Re: [DONE] Help needed buying on ebay
« Reply #35 on: February 17, 2014, 07:46:35 PM »
My thoughts are this. If someone is looking for help, and you offer it, that's it. If you want to get paid for your time, make sure you are honest and upfront with it.

That pretty well summarizes my thoughts as well...  :tu:

Totally agree with that as well.  :salute:

 
No Life Club Posts: 2,812
Re: [DONE] Help needed buying on ebay
« Reply #36 on: February 17, 2014, 07:46:47 PM »
I've been sitting on the fence with this and trying to remember back to when I first joined.


I've dealed with GigHz in the past and he's a top bloke. What's gone off here I don't really know, and I sure as hell ain't gonna take sides.

However I'll say this.. I think we all need to remember the time differences when offering to help other members out. Here in the UK we are 5hrs in front of our friends in the USA. When they cone in from work we are probably heading upstairs to bed. Like ships that pass in the night, we can easily miss each other.

The floods that were mentioned here in the UK have been catastrophic. People here in the UK are not used to natural disasters in the way that our international friends are. And at the moment the UK is facing some of the worst flooding seen in centuries. Witnessing first hand a relative or loved one losing everything must surely put things into perspective.... Multitools and SAKs have their place, but in times of disasters are they really so important??.

I think the best thing here is that the mods remove this entire thread. And let us all forget about it and move on.

No ones gonna win this...its better of being removed.

I don't claim to know it all, but what I do know is right.
Hero Member Posts: 858
Re: [DONE] Help needed buying on ebay
« Reply #37 on: February 17, 2014, 08:02:31 PM »
I've been sitting on the fence with this and trying to remember back to when I first joined.


I've dealed with GigHz in the past and he's a top bloke. What's gone off here I don't really know, and I sure as hell ain't gonna take sides.

However I'll say this.. I think we all need to remember the time differences when offering to help other members out. Here in the UK we are 5hrs in front of our friends in the USA. When they cone in from work we are probably heading upstairs to bed. Like ships that pass in the night, we can easily miss each other.

The floods that were mentioned here in the UK have been catastrophic. People here in the UK are not used to natural disasters in the way that our international friends are. And at the moment the UK is facing some of the worst flooding seen in centuries. Witnessing first hand a relative or loved one losing everything must surely put things into perspective.... Multitools and SAKs have their place, but in times of disasters are they really so important??.

I think the best thing here is that the mods remove this entire thread. And let us all forget about it and move on.

No ones gonna win this...its better of being removed.

I agree with Tosh!
« Last Edit: February 17, 2014, 08:49:22 PM by Philby »
No Life Club Posts: 1,775
Re: [DONE] Help needed buying on ebay
« Reply #38 on: February 17, 2014, 08:25:59 PM »
 :ahhh
A misunderstanding can occur. Did it happen here? Yes, it did! In fact, there has been a misunderstanding. People solve or tackle to solve misunderstandings in a variety of ways, in short: trying to solve the problem or swept it under the carpet. The second one don't solve the problem, but hide it, right?! so we'd consider only the first option: solving. :D

In most cases when solving occur there is at least initially attempt of opposite sides to solve issue insisting on their own positions. Since the misunderstanding arose because of at the time occupied positions, it is clear that the existing problem can't be fixed if someone or both insist on the positions, which caused the misunderstanding. I hope that the matter is quite clear up to here.  :think:

Now, if such a petty matter like this happens on the street, at work, in the pub ... the solution is a "piece of cake": one pays a drink, usually both, and laughs their own current nonsense and often even in this way they would put the foundations for in-depth friendship. Is there anyone to whom it has not happened yet? Almost impossible. :pok:

As you can see, the case is somewhat different on the internet, but still not so different, as just a different interpersonal communication occurs and it is just necessary to resolve the misunderstandings within the framework of the given possibilities, of course, if you would like to solve the problem and not swept it under the carpet, as we have already said. Probably all would agree, if for no other reason because this are the simplest facts.  :D
This was therefore the easier part, now comes the hard one: a practical solution to the problem.


There are many possible solutions, and one of them is also "third party intervention", i.e. the proposed solution of community members, that both sides would agreed and would take into account.

So, here we go, I would suggest that you repeat the process in which misunderstanding occurs, as now both of you know each other's expectations and this time the interaction will certainly be a pure pleasure. Simple as that.  :cheers:

C'mon guys, you're SAK knights, give each other a second chance.

           
Hero Member Posts: 858
Re: [DONE] Help needed buying on ebay
« Reply #39 on: February 17, 2014, 08:47:35 PM »
People will inevitably want/need help buying off ebay in the future.  I can't see anything wrong with people asking for a kind of finders fee, say a percentage of price. If no one was willing to help out and I really wanted the object I'd be happy to pay.  However, it would be better to know this before anything was sorted, any extra payment could then be factored in. Remember pay it forward, no good deed goes unrewarded.
Full Member Posts: 163
Re: [DONE] Help needed buying on ebay
« Reply #40 on: February 17, 2014, 09:00:24 PM »
:ahhh
A misunderstanding can occur. Did it happen here? Yes, it did! In fact, there has been a misunderstanding. People solve or tackle to solve misunderstandings in a variety of ways, in short: trying to solve the problem or swept it under the carpet. The second one don't solve the problem, but hide it, right?! so we'd consider only the first option: solving. :D

In most cases when solving occur there is at least initially attempt of opposite sides to solve issue insisting on their own positions. Since the misunderstanding arose because of at the time occupied positions, it is clear that the existing problem can't be fixed if someone or both insist on the positions, which caused the misunderstanding. I hope that the matter is quite clear up to here.  :think:

Now, if such a petty matter like this happens on the street, at work, in the pub ... the solution is a "piece of cake": one pays a drink, usually both, and laughs their own current nonsense and often even in this way they would put the foundations for in-depth friendship. Is there anyone to whom it has not happened yet? Almost impossible. :pok:

As you can see, the case is somewhat different on the internet, but still not so different, as just a different interpersonal communication occurs and it is just necessary to resolve the misunderstandings within the framework of the given possibilities, of course, if you would like to solve the problem and not swept it under the carpet, as we have already said. Probably all would agree, if for no other reason because this are the simplest facts.  :D
This was therefore the easier part, now comes the hard one: a practical solution to the problem.
(Image removed from quote.)

There are many possible solutions, and one of them is also "third party intervention", i.e. the proposed solution of community members, that both sides would agreed and would take into account.

So, here we go, I would suggest that you repeat the process in which misunderstanding occurs, as now both of you know each other's expectations and this time the interaction will certainly be a pure pleasure. Simple as that.  :cheers:

C'mon guys, you're SAK knights, give each other a second chance.

(Image removed from quote.)      (Image removed from quote.)      (Image removed from quote.)
I told one of the mods in a PM a wouldn't make another post on this thread however I think I should reply to your post.

Your right a misunderstanding occurred, was it my fault? Looking back I would have to say yes, it was mainly my fault.

Do I want to solve this problem? Absolutely!!

Have I tried to solved it? Yes, repeatedly.

Could I of done more?

I honestly don't know, I am how ever open to suggestions and third party intervention GigaHz is willing to participate.

Philby

You have a good idea there, I don't mind paying for someones time just so long as I know they want for lack of a better term a "handlers fee".

Some kind of concrete rules, or at least some kind of guidelines so we can avoid this kind of thing in the future.   
       

Sr. Member Posts: 327
Re: [DONE] Help needed buying on ebay
« Reply #41 on: February 18, 2014, 12:46:39 AM »
My thoughts are this. If someone is looking for help, and you offer it, that's it. If you want to get paid for your time, make sure you are honest and upfront with it.

That pretty well summarizes my thoughts as well...  :tu:

Totally agree with that as well.  :salute:

 :salute: Straitforward or nothing...I've seen some eBay seller's charging excessive handling charges for international and those for "Shipping to USA only".
Admin Team Absolute Zombie Club Posts: 23,276
Re: [DONE] Help needed buying on ebay
« Reply #42 on: February 18, 2014, 01:51:38 AM »
My thoughts are this. If someone is looking for help, and you offer it, that's it. If you want to get paid for your time, make sure you are honest and upfront with it.

That pretty well summarizes my thoughts as well...  :tu:

+1  :tu:


I agree. Going forward, let's all be sure to make our expectations clear to one another before entering into any sort of arrangement like this. :salute:

In order to be certain of having the right tool for every job.........one must first acquire a lot of tools
Newbie Posts: 33
Re: [DONE] Help needed buying on ebay
« Reply #43 on: February 18, 2014, 11:44:19 AM »
My thoughts are this. If someone is looking for help, and you offer it, that's it. If you want to get paid for your time, make sure you are honest and upfront with it.

That pretty well summarizes my thoughts as well...  :tu:

Same for me but my opinion is probably worth less than horse smurf here as I don't have any e-repuration whatsoever here :)
Global Moderator Zombie Apprentice Posts: 12,152 North American Meetup: May13-15 2011
Re: [DONE] Help needed buying on ebay
« Reply #44 on: February 18, 2014, 02:26:52 PM »
At this point, it looks like this has been rehashed more than is probably needed.  Time to move on.  :police:


 :surrender:


 

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