Unlikely Tales of the Multitool!

[Lynn LeFey]

I've been thinking about this for a while, and decided it might be a fun thread. I thought a 'tall tales' thread might be fun, and looking at Captain Spaulding's finger cut photo in another thread made it pop into my mind again. So, here goes.

I was in the back yard the other day, using my Rebar to cut some shrubbery back from our fence line, and the razor keen edge of that blade slipped, and cut my head clean off. To say it was difficult driving myself to the emergency room is a bit of an understatement, but I managed it. I got back home a few hours later, with a little sunlight left, and decided to get that trimming done. So out comes the serrated blade. Wouldn't you know it, I slipped and cut my head off again. I know, I was feeling pretty silly by this point, and the frustrated look on the emergency room workers just about said it all.

The doctors did say I was lucky I didn't suffer from any Drain Bamage.

Anyone else care to play?

[pfrsantos]

What have you started?!?!

 

[RT1969]

 

[Lynn LeFey]

Wiiiiiiiiithhhh..... A HERRING!

[Monrogue]

Oh wow, I can only imagine where this thread will go with some of the minds here

[captain spaulding]

Glad my stupidity and down right bad luck could help spark something in your mind and in turn start a new thread.  I'm going to be a spectator on this for a bit, but might join in on the fun eventually. I'm feeling pretty crappy after last nights sleep. 

[Etherealicer]

I've been thinking about this for a while, and decided it might be a fun thread. I thought a 'tall tales' thread might be fun, and looking at Captain Spaulding's finger cut photo in another thread made it pop into my mind again. So, here goes.

I was in the back yard the other day, using my Rebar to cut some shrubbery back from our fence line, and the razor keen edge of that blade slipped, and cut my head clean off. To say it was difficult driving myself to the emergency room is a bit of an understatement, but I managed it. I got back home a few hours later, with a little sunlight left, and decided to get that trimming done. So out comes the serrated blade. Wouldn't you know it, I slipped and cut my head off again. I know, I was feeling pretty silly by this point, and the frustrated look on the emergency room workers just about said it all.

The doctors did say I was lucky I didn't suffer from any Drain Bamage.

Anyone else care to play?

This is why I always EDC a bag full of ice. You never know when it comes handy to transport a severed limb or head.
 

[RT1969]

I've been thinking about this for a while, and decided it might be a fun thread. I thought a 'tall tales' thread might be fun, and looking at Captain Spaulding's finger cut photo in another thread made it pop into my mind again. So, here goes.

I was in the back yard the other day, using my Rebar to cut some shrubbery back from our fence line, and the razor keen edge of that blade slipped, and cut my head clean off. To say it was difficult driving myself to the emergency room is a bit of an understatement, but I managed it. I got back home a few hours later, with a little sunlight left, and decided to get that trimming done. So out comes the serrated blade. Wouldn't you know it, I slipped and cut my head off again. I know, I was feeling pretty silly by this point, and the frustrated look on the emergency room workers just about said it all.

The doctors did say I was lucky I didn't suffer from any Drain Bamage.

Anyone else care to play?

This is why I always EDC a bag full of ice. You never know when it comes handy to transport a severed limb or head.
 

And if you boiled too much water, you can freeze the rest. You'll never know when you'll need some boiling water and so you can just take some out of the freezer! 

[Lynn LeFey]

Strangest thing happened to me a few days ago. On my way home, across the Mississippi River, the car flipped off the Poplar Street Bridge, and plunged into the water below. Yeah, I know, that's not that unusual. What WAS unusual was that while I was swimming to shore, my arm got entangled in something. Turns out it was some fishing line that was attached to a nine foot long Northern Pike.

Now... it's never a fun day when you have to wrestle a four hundred pound fish that's trying to drag you to the bottom of the mighty, murky, Mississippi... but what can you do?

There is some good news in all this. I happened to have my Victorinox Fisherman on me. So, first off, I pulled out the scissors, to cut myself free, but not wanting to let this thing get away... because I was pretty sure I had a record breaking fish, I then used the parcel hook to latch on to some of that excess line, wrapped around the beast. While it dragged me along the bottom, I pummeled that fish into submission. Whew... It took maybe half an hour before that monster gave up. Then I had to drag him to shore.

As odd as it seems, I pulled it to shore right by a little church that was having their Friday Fish Fry. The preacher was going on about the 'feeding the multitude' story, and that just sort of seemed like a sign. So I pulled out the fish scaler and cleaned that fish up.

There were, I don't know, a couple hundred orphans there, and they all got fish sandwiches. I forgot to take a picture of the fish before the feast, but I guess that's okay.

[gregozedobe]

As odd as it seems, I pulled it to shore right by a little church that was having their Friday Fish Fry. The preacher was going on about the 'feeding the multitude' story, and that just sort of seemed like a sign. So I pulled out the fish scaler and cleaned that fish up.

There were, I don't know, a couple hundred orphans there, and they all got fish sandwiches. I forgot to take a picture of the fish before the feast, but I guess that's okay.

I find this part of your story hard to believe, I mean you are trying to tell me you actually got to use the fish scaler for its intended purpose, and we all know that's very unlikely         

[RT1969]

Once in August we were on vacation in Greece. You know Greece in the summer? It is hot, the sun is burning and there is no shadow anywhere because the Greek love sun so much, they cut down all the trees millenias ago. So this one day must have been 45°C in the shadow, if you brought your own shadow with you. As I said before, there is no shadow in Greece. Only sun, endless sun, relentless sun.

Anyway, this morning my family was packing the bags to go out to the beach. But the air outside was so dry and hot, it stood there like a wall as we opened the hotel door. Hard as concrete, warm as an oven. We pushed and pushed, but we could not get through. So my father reached into his pocket and pulled out his trusty Swiss Army Knife! 

With it's blade he was able to cut a tunnel for us so we could get down to the beach. Then we used the scissors to cut down some blocks of air into little cubes for the air matress and my sisters floaties. Later he gave the knive to me and I could build my own air castle using the saw!

- freely adopted from TresenLesen/Jochen Malmsheimer, heard a lot of years ago, on the radio