Here's how I envision the conversation going:
Police officer: Sir, why are you duct taped to these monkey bars with a 'hot link" in your hiney. And furthermore, why are your kneecaps in this pickle jar that we found on the merry go round over there...
Victim: I pissed off some dude who goes by the name "jerseydevil", I think? Nevermind, I don't remember anything.
