Who is single ?!

[Taxi Dad]

newly single 
getting used to it again after 17 years 
what's new ? talk me through the things I've missed while 'shackled' , had a look on some of these 'dating sites' , purely in the name of research  as it seems to be the modern way 
all looks pretty horrific if you ask me, being rejected once or twice in a dimly lit drinking establishment at the end of an evening, while partially numbed by alcohol, was bad enough 'back in the day' but then I was young !!!!
now you can get rejection in the comfort of your own home ! SOBER 

[pfrsantos]

Get a room, you two... 

 

Though, gotta say, I've recently stopped trying to not be single, and the drama in my life decreased tenfold.

I think that can work well. If you're not really looking for anyone, sometimes that's when that person sneaks into your life.  That's what happened for me anyway

Sent from my SM-G920R4 using Tapatalk

I tried using that excuse. The judge still ordered the restraining order... Again!
 

Maybe next time will be different from the previous five...
 

[gregozedobe]

Maybe next time will be different from the previous five...   

If you keep on doing what you've previously done, you will most likely get the same result as previously.  Maybe it's time to do something different ? 

[N_N_R]

  You guys

[dks]

I used to just stand at the bar, look cool, and the ladies came to me..

posting in a forum seems to be the new way to meet ladies - the higher you post count, the more attractive you are   

[N_N_R]

I used to just stand at the bar, look cool, and the ladies came to me..

Now you stand by the bar with the ladies looking coolly at you?



I'm actually thinking, the higher your post count, the more lost your cause  

[Aloha]

newly single 
getting used to it again after 17 years 
what's new ? talk me through the things I've missed while 'shackled' , had a look on some of these 'dating sites' , purely in the name of research  as it seems to be the modern way 
all looks pretty horrific if you ask me, being rejected once or twice in a dimly lit drinking establishment at the end of an evening, while partially numbed by alcohol, was bad enough 'back in the day' but then I was young !!!!
now you can get rejection in the comfort of your own home ! SOBER 

Hi Taxidad, sorry to hear.  Online dating has the same dilemmas as any other type dating.  The pictures dont always match the person, the profile is hog poo, and in some cases the person is not actually single. 

I know a few people who ended up getting married after meeting online.  One was a total train wreck while the other is still going strong.   

[AlephZero]

Single again since April, though it was only since last September so not that long lasting relationship anyways...

Pretty much gotten used to it by now, tho I have to say the lonely evenings suck... oh well

[dks]

  There seems to be quite a few divorced/separated/remarried/etc. members... Quite a lot going on, especially during the last year    

Modern times..   

[N_N_R]

I actually think that divorced parents are sometimes a lot better for a kid than parents constantly fighting and hating on each other at home and the kid growing up in the middle of all this.

[kirk13]

newly single 
getting used to it again after 17 years 
what's new ? talk me through the things I've missed while 'shackled' , had a look on some of these 'dating sites' , purely in the name of research  as it seems to be the modern way 
all looks pretty horrific if you ask me, being rejected once or twice in a dimly lit drinking establishment at the end of an evening, while partially numbed by alcohol, was bad enough 'back in the day' but then I was young !!!!
now you can get rejection in the comfort of your own home ! SOBER 

Bloody hell Michael,that's a hell of a come-back post!

[SAK Guy]

My soulmate of 30+ years just decided one day that she didn't love me, made a huge change in personality, dyed her beautiful brown hair red then blond, lost 40lbs, burned bridges with many in her family and married another guy we knew a couple of months after the divorce was final. I saw her at my Dad's funeral this year (4 years later) and didn't know who she was till she was about a foot away. She had truly turned into another person. Read on the net that this happens a lot.....

I'm still not over that experience (and probably never will be).

[dks]

people have or think they have more options nowdays, some  think there is always something better, some do not want to try and quit at the first problem, some do not forgive anything so as not to lose face, and sometimes people just change and want something different now than they did a few years or weeks ago - different outlook, needs, do not like their partner anymore or never really did.

You can not force anybody, in modern societies, to stay with you....

[SAK Guy]

people have or think they have more options nowdays, some  think there is always something better, some do not want to try and quit at the first problem, some do not forgive anything so as not to lose face, and sometimes people just change and want something different now than they did a few years or weeks ago - different outlook, needs, do not like their partner anymore or never really did.

You can not force anybody, in modern societies, to stay with you....

And who would want to? Don't know who that person is and wouldn't want to get her back. I live in the past and still love that gal I met in '80. My wife went through a midlife crisis...she's happy and I buy knives I don't need so it's all good. 

[kirk13]

people have or think they have more options nowdays, some  think there is always something better, some do not want to try and quit at the first problem, some do not forgive anything so as not to lose face, and sometimes people just change and want something different now than they did a few years or weeks ago - different outlook, needs, do not like their partner anymore or never really did.

You can not force anybody, in modern societies, to stay with you....

And who would want to? Don't know who that person is and wouldn't want to get her back. I live in the past and still love that gal I met in '80. My wife went through a midlife crisis...she's happy and I buy knives I don't need so it's all good. 

It's probably a telling statement on how I view relationships these days,but one of the main reasons I love SAKs,MTs and zippos is they're fixable...

[dks]

... and they can be considered as dowry,  for the future

[SAK Guy]

people have or think they have more options nowdays, some  think there is always something better, some do not want to try and quit at the first problem, some do not forgive anything so as not to lose face, and sometimes people just change and want something different now than they did a few years or weeks ago - different outlook, needs, do not like their partner anymore or never really did.

You can not force anybody, in modern societies, to stay with you....

And who would want to? Don't know who that person is and wouldn't want to get her back. I live in the past and still love that gal I met in '80. My wife went through a midlife crisis...she's happy and I buy knives I don't need so it's all good. 

It's probably a telling statement on how I view relationships these days,but one of the main reasons I love SAKs,MTs and zippos is they're fixable...

+1 

[N_N_R]

sakguy, your experience sounds horrific. it would've shattered me, too.


on the bright side of being single, you don't depend on anyone's approval to do anything, you can go places and do whatever without thinking about another person's feelings and how to include them in your schedule, your can say lots of crap you wouldn't say if you were in a relationship on online platforms....

[raistlin65]

newly single 
getting used to it again after 17 years 
what's new ? talk me through the things I've missed while 'shackled' , had a look on some of these 'dating sites' , purely in the name of research  as it seems to be the modern way 
all looks pretty horrific if you ask me, being rejected once or twice in a dimly lit drinking establishment at the end of an evening, while partially numbed by alcohol, was bad enough 'back in the day' but then I was young !!!!
now you can get rejection in the comfort of your own home ! SOBER 

Dating sites are a conspiracy created by women. It means you absolutely HAVE to talk and get to know each other before you can even meet in person. 

[SAKnight]

sakguy, your experience sounds horrific. it would've shattered me, too.


on the bright side of being single, you don't depend on anyone's approval to do anything, you can go places and do whatever without thinking about another person's feelings and how to include them in your schedule, your can say lots of crap you wouldn't say if you were in a relationship on online platforms....

Agreed on both counts!

Raistlin- 

[Monrogue]

sakguy, your experience sounds horrific. it would've shattered me, too.


on the bright side of being single, you don't depend on anyone's approval to do anything, you can go places and do whatever without thinking about another person's feelings and how to include them in your schedule, your can say lots of crap you wouldn't say if you were in a relationship on online platforms....

I bet it's tough after 30 years to have your spouse do something like that, and I'm sorry you went through that SG

However, NNR is spot on here.  The things she mentions are the very things I miss about my single years, especially the freedom to do whatever without worrying about their approval and whatnot



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[VoetSak]

My soulmate of 30+ years just decided one day that she didn't love me, made a huge change in personality, dyed her beautiful brown hair red then blond, lost 40lbs, burned bridges with many in her family and married another guy we knew a couple of months after the divorce was final. I saw her at my Dad's funeral this year (4 years later) and didn't know who she was till she was about a foot away. She had truly turned into another person. Read on the net that this happens a lot.....

I'm still not over that experience (and probably never will be).

I feel you man. My biggest adjustment was the realisation that trying to be a good person doesn't qualify you for a good life. At just short of 40 I am right back at the beginning again. Its not the loss of my partner or my home or anything like that for me that I have struggled with. Its hard to explain but it feels like the loss of my last shred of innocence.

I loved being wide eyed and innocent. After it all happened I had this quiet confidence that it would all work out because somehow I deserved it. Hahahaha sucker!!!

[AdmSlc]

I've been married for about 7 years. 

[AimlessWanderer]

I've never met anyone I want to spend the rest of my life with. It really is that simple. I also refuse to get into a relationship with someone with whom I know it's only temporary. I'll have the odd brief soiree occasionally, but only if the lady in question understands and accepts it's a fleeting thing with no tomorrow.

Aside from that, I like the freedom. I can devote my efforts, attention, and any spare finances on whatever I wish, with no one to appease, and no consequences for anyone but myself. Do I get lonely and crave companionship? Very occasionally, yes, but not for long, and when I do meet someone and there's a mutual attraction, I'm usually reminded within a very short space of time why I choose to stay single....

I'm not 100% ruling out ever finding a soulmate, but the chances of me finding someone who can tolerate me and who I can tolerate in return are pretty slim 

[AimlessWanderer]

newly single 
getting used to it again after 17 years 
what's new ? talk me through the things I've missed while 'shackled' , had a look on some of these 'dating sites' , purely in the name of research  as it seems to be the modern way 
all looks pretty horrific if you ask me, being rejected once or twice in a dimly lit drinking establishment at the end of an evening, while partially numbed by alcohol, was bad enough 'back in the day' but then I was young !!!!
now you can get rejection in the comfort of your own home ! SOBER 

Bloody hell Michael,that's a hell of a come-back post!

My thoughts exactly!!!

[raistlin65]

I'm not 100% ruling out ever finding a soulmate, but the chances of me finding someone who can tolerate me and who I can tolerate in return are pretty slim 

Yep. The way I look at it, everyone is a bit crazy in their own way. Just because two people love/care about each other is not the only thing necessary for a lasting relationship. The trick is to find someone that is crazy in a way that doesn't bother you (and vice versa).

[VoetSak]

I'm not 100% ruling out ever finding a soulmate, but the chances of me finding someone who can tolerate me and who I can tolerate in return are pretty slim  :D

Yep. The way I look at it, everyone is a bit crazy in their own way. Just because two people love/care about each other is not the only thing necessary for a lasting relationship. The trick is to find someone that is crazy in a way that doesn't bother you (and vice versa). :)

I no longer think that lasting relationships are worth aiming for. The marital failure rate coupled with the financial risk should a marriage fail are simply too high. On balance I am roughly as happy now as I was when I was married. This happiness seems to carry a much lower financial and emotional risk. I don't think I could ever get into a cohabitation type relationship again much less anything more serious.

Horses for courses I suppose. There will be those for who the gamble on another person pays off hansomely  and I wish them the best of luck. Unfortunately one day I woke up and my wife had transformed into something so evil that it would have made Bram Stoker broody. :rofl:

[Kampfer]

17 years had passed since I slept with that beautiful girl, and it is the same girl that I woke up next to this morning. 

But I got to say she is the best multi-tool I ever know of, and she is made of high quality ageless tissue, still looks the same just like the day I met her.

[sLaughterMed]

Wow, this thread is an emotional rollercoaster. I went from  to  To  to  to  in about 5 minutes.

[SAKnight]

Wow, this thread is an emotional rollercoaster. I went from  to  To  to  to  in about 5 minutes.

 and back to