The true story of the Chinese SAK

Butch · **on:** December 20, 2017, 09:51:26 PM

OK, time to come out with the absolute true story. I swear on a stack of Chinese Champs 100 feet high, this story is the truth, the whole truth & nothing but the truth.

As most of you know by now, this all took place shortly after my becoming a member here.I decided that being a member here I should have at least a few specimens of Swiss Army Knives so I sent all 3 of my Champs to the Vic spa for rehab. Suddenly it was very lonely around here. Hey, you try carrying the same thing every day for more than 40 years. Then see how you feel when all of a sudden it is not there anymore.
This is where the story actually begins. I wandered on to that most evil of all websites , (shudder) EBAY, (cringe in fear). There I started looking. One of the things that came up was a photo of something that looked just like my beloved Champs. Better yet the price was only $7.00 US, a real bargain seemingly.
Now ya have to understand that yours truly is just a backwoods hillbilly, from the high plains desert of west Texas, and not really well versed in the nuances, of world trade.
Now not much thought was given to this at the time, but the loneliness of being without my beloved Champs was eating away at me. I kept thinking about at least having something that looked and felt, at least sorta, like my beloved Champs.
Now I know you have all seen them, the pleas from all kinds of charities asking for money to save starving kids in some backwater place on the other side of the world, doesn't matter where you are it is on the other side. Well China is on the other side from me, I got to thinking. That never seems to be a good thing, me thinking that is. Now in China the average income is somewhere around $3.10 US yearly. That means that that knife would provide a yearly income to 2, count them 2, starving Chinese employees families. Plus some profit for the poor knife makers family.

So ya see by ordering this knife I would be being good, so Santa would not leave coal in my Christmas stocking . It was a win win all around, starving kids with knobby knees would have family support, and I would have a gap filler until my Champs came home.
The absolute best of all possible worlds, at least the thought processes of this cowboy hat wearin' Texican hillbilly said so.
Well I ordered it and then came to my new friends at MTo to tell them what a wonderous deed I had just done.
Total shock and amazement, I was stripped of my SAK knight banner & made to stand in the corner with my dunce hat on.
I learned that the folks in China are not starving and they are looking for backwoods hillbillies just to scam them outta their dollars. I wish I had known before but I know better now.

Oh and the moral of this story........Save your Confederate money boys, The south is gonna rise again.

Nix · **Reply #1 on:** December 20, 2017, 10:03:11 PM

Don Pablo · **Reply #2 on:** December 20, 2017, 10:06:30 PM

"The true sorry of the Chinese SAK"

(That's how I read it)

Butch · **Reply #3 on:** December 20, 2017, 10:09:21 PM

Quote from: Pablo O'Brien on December 20, 2017, 10:06:30 PM

"The true sorry of the Chinese SAK"

(That's how I read it)

Hey I admited to being a hillbilly........

.......

Marc_in_NS · **Reply #4 on:** December 20, 2017, 10:15:15 PM

Butch, Butch, oh Butch

I feel your pain...

HAHAHAHA

Thunderpants · **Reply #5 on:** December 20, 2017, 10:15:29 PM

Maybe the good people of Texas should start building their own fake Chinese SAKs... I'd certainly buy one if it helps some orphan beat rickets, polio or tuberculosis.
Or pays for his banjo lessons!

Mechanickal · **Reply #6 on:** December 20, 2017, 10:45:31 PM

Hey! Stop acting like a victim while you're obviously the perpetrator here!

Even Douglas shook his head in shame when you informed our comunity...
He actualy had to start the MTO Pioneer X project to clear the family's name

Lynn LeFey · **Reply #7 on:** December 20, 2017, 10:53:22 PM

Don't listen to all this negging, Butch. Carry that Chinesium chunk of fail with PRIDE.

I have a LOT of CAKs (That's 'Chinese Army Knives'). Heck, it seems like people on these boards goad me into getting them.

"This thing is crap. You know who ought to have one... I mean besides Chako? Hey, Lynn!"

I know, in my heart of hearts that one day.... Oh, ONE DAY, I will find one that's all the way to 'OK'.

Butch · **Reply #8 on:** December 20, 2017, 11:02:27 PM

Quote from: Mechanickal on December 20, 2017, 10:45:31 PM

Hey! Stop acting like a victim while you're obviously the perpetrator here!

Even Douglas shook his head in shame when you informed our comunity...
He actualy had to start the MTO Pioneer X project to clear the family's name

(*PHBBT*)

Butch · **Reply #9 on:** December 20, 2017, 11:04:56 PM

Quote from: Lynn LeFey on December 20, 2017, 10:53:22 PM

Don't listen to all this negging, Butch. Carry that Chinesium chunk of fail with PRIDE.

I have a LOT of CAKs (That's 'Chinese Army Knives'). Heck, it seems like people on these boards goad me into getting them.

"This thing is crap. You know who ought to have one... I mean besides Chako? Hey, Lynn!"

I know, in my heart of hearts that one day.... Oh, ONE DAY, I will find one that's all the way to 'OK'.

Now if Pabs could just do a banana dance.........sigh.

Don Pablo · **Reply #10 on:** December 20, 2017, 11:53:02 PM

Quote from: Butch on December 20, 2017, 11:04:56 PM

Quote from: Lynn LeFey on December 20, 2017, 10:53:22 PM
Don't listen to all this negging, Butch. Carry that Chinesium chunk of fail with PRIDE.

I have a LOT of CAKs (That's 'Chinese Army Knives'). Heck, it seems like people on these boards goad me into getting them.

"This thing is crap. You know who ought to have one... I mean besides Chako? Hey, Lynn!"

I know, in my heart of hearts that one day.... Oh, ONE DAY, I will find one that's all the way to 'OK'.

Now if Pabs could just do a banana dance.........sigh.

Show content

Butch · **Reply #11 on:** December 21, 2017, 12:00:56 AM

The true spirit of MTo shines through.

Thunderpants · **Reply #12 on:** December 21, 2017, 12:03:27 AM

Pablo owes me a new scroll wheel on my Chinese-made mouse. The old one just burst into flames from too much friction.

Don Pablo · **Reply #13 on:** December 21, 2017, 12:16:18 AM

Quote from: Thunderpants on December 21, 2017, 12:03:27 AM

Pablo owes me a new scroll wheel on my Chinese-made mouse. The old one just burst into flames from too much friction.

Didn't you see the 00-point small print?
Pablo accepts no responsibility for damages resulting from his bananas.

Lynn LeFey · **Reply #14 on:** December 21, 2017, 12:26:22 AM

Trying to find a Gwen Stefani 'The Sh** Is Bananas' meme pic, and thought this one was funnier.

Douglas · **Reply #15 on:** December 21, 2017, 02:40:31 AM

NOT AGAIN

Alan K. · **Reply #16 on:** December 21, 2017, 02:42:08 AM

Pablo, that looks like Poncho's last EKG.

Butch, no. It's going to take more contrition than that. It was a nice story though.

Butch · **Reply #17 on:** December 21, 2017, 02:53:20 AM

Quote from: Douglas on December 21, 2017, 02:40:31 AM

NOT AGAIN
(Image removed from quote.)

gregozedobe · **Reply #18 on:** December 21, 2017, 03:35:35 AM

And just like that, normal (well as normal as MTO ever gets) service was resumed (although many mouse wheels may have suffered slight damage and some keyboards may have had coffee or other beverages spluttered over them due to uncontrollable laughter)