Prospective Companion Test

[Outback in Idaho]

  Am seriously thinking of imposing a Prospective Companion Test of sort, where a woman of interest would have to answer a series of questions and have to prove that she can actually do it - currently. I've been getting a lot of freaks that scare the geebees out of me, so figure on posting something on facebook for some and if they can't pass basics they aren't good enough.

  But I want to be fare and non-sexist and such.  This probably came about from a discussion a group of us had yesterday about foregoing marriage and if we were rich we'd rent wives. Straight contact binding stuff, and when either is tired of the other they an quit or be fired. While it sounded entertaining I haven't hit the lottery. So... getting suggestions y'all would make/impose for that perfect or near prefect companion ... even if it's for fun or messing around - which we all know Kirky's Kult will do.

  Could be a woman's list too I suppose... 

• Must know what a multitool is, how to use one, must own one, and demonstrate it's uses
• Same for a SAK, and know what SAK means
• Can drive on a country road and not hit the trees or things passing across the road that is not in season
• Can handle a knife, show knife prowess, and perform some basic tasks of said knife without bleeding
• Can handle firearms, both rifle and pistol. Must be able to hit the target at 30 yards with a pistol, 75 yards with a rifle using under 10 rounds of ammo
• Can make a fire without using a lighter, flare gun, or some other form of cheating. Must use a ferrocerium rod, flint & steel, or some other primitive method
• Can balance a checking & savings account and know how much balance they currently have in each - without $100
• Know how to fish, can bait their own hook, and handle earthworms like they were gummy bears
• Can find the North Star, moon, and  why you shouldn't look directly at the big glowing object in the daylight sky - bonus for naming it
• Can good an edible meal from scratch on their own
• Can pitch a tent without reading the instructions
• Knows how to check the oil, water, transmission fluids in a vehicle
• Can clean a firearm properly - and not by using a dishwasher ... 
• Can take photos with people visibly seen and distinguishable
• Verbal and social etiquette
• Likes to cuddle
• Can change batteries in a flashlight in complete darkness

[Chako]

Oh man...this thread is going to hell in a hand-basket!

Just saying... 

[sLaughterMed]

So it doesn't matter if the two of you actually get along?

[Chako]

I was just thinking there are so many things you can add to that list...or remove. No matter how it is done, it will come off as being sexist/needy/controlling or any combination of those, and probably more.

List are shallow. They lack depth. Relationships with the right person...is heady stuff. Kinda like looking in the deep end of the pool and not seeing the bottom. With the right match, you won't be seeing all in the shallow end of that pool. With the right person, there will be plenty of mystery and exploration. I have found my connection within the last few years. At times, I am mystified and quite puzzled...but then, there are times where we will be both thinking the same things, or finishing each others sentence. It never gets dull or boring. A list is not a tool to vet folks for compatibility because it will only scratch the surface. That is just my opinion. I will be curious to see what others have to say about this topic however.

[Sea Monster]

How to put this....


I don't have a physical "list" per se, but obviously I have my values, and if someone doesn't "match" them to a certain extent, I'm less likely to be interested in them as a partner - and I assume any given person has the same thing and it applies to others or myself.

My "pal" as it is, has a lot of qualities I admire - she's better at some things than me, and I'm better at some things than her, and some things we're both rubbish at 

We also some philosophical things in common, and some wildly different.

It the end, it all kind of works anyway.


A thought though - I met her in person. We were chatting and laughing together long before we knew all the "facts" you might get on a facebook page or something - those details were teased out over time,

and if something comes up, lets say "Do you know how to shoot?"

If she says no, then "would you like me to teach you?"

(Same in reverse, if she says "Do you know how to do crossfit?" and I say "No, and I intend to die not knowing, have fun though" )


So two more thoughts moving forward -

If you want to meet a girl who enjoys camping or shooting (or changing torch batteries?) - then go camping and shooting.
The only thing you can be sure a girl at the pub likes is pubs.

Be careful wishing for a partner that likes the same things as you - They might be better at them than you, and have nothing to gain from associating with you

[Aloha]

Hell even those extensive profiles one needs to fill out don't scratch the surface.  There is a program on TV called "Married at first sight".  These people are matched by so called experts using what the person says is most important in terms of values, looks, etc etc etc.  Last season none of the couples stayed married.

To say "its complicated" is and always will always be an understatement.

I think to an extent having a mental "list" is ok.  Its a guide, if you will.  What I find most important is not just settling. Getting into a relationship and allowing yourself to be lulled into staying because it isn't terrible or going badly.  So a mental list can help one to stay focused to an extent. 

Relationships are fluid, I think most people are as well.

I've said this a few times and I've taken crap as a result but here we go. 

If you are over 35 and still single it maybe time to look in the mirror, especially if you want to be in one. 

Good luck to those of you who are actively engaged in one and those who are looking for one.  It can be quite a wonderful experience. 

     

[Outback in Idaho]

  I keep getting freaks and/or freaks of nature - and I have one that's bipolar and then some that won't take "no, I'm not interested" as an answer. And these things on facebook keep thinking I'm the boat of gold or something, so am wanting something I can post publicly that I don't date freaks and want someone capable. At least it will give the current one something to think about.

  Or, I could make up one of them online poll things that give a list of answers and an weird outcome - and if they pick all the right ones they can date me.   If not, they can will get a different answer. I dunno, this one bipolar gal goes to our church and my gawd she's scary. She's like a human piranha! Gothic look eyes, bufunt Grease-style hairdo, the meds make her shake more than an earthquake in California, and that face - sorry, the south won't rise to that occasion.

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[Outback in Idaho]

  This is the only woman that won't take all the wrong answers that would scare most humans away. And every time I think I'm safe and she's done gotten the hint, she's back like the proverbial boomerang that you can't throw away. Thankfully she can't drive, or I'd have to get a restraining order. Can't afford to move, so perhaps finding a different church might be good - or don't go. She won't take no for an answer. I swear nothing scares her off.

  So the list idea was an idea to keep the cougar away!

[Aloha]

BTW your list can be fun things to do with someone who hasn't done these things or hasn't in a while. 

As far someone not getting the hint, 

Kidding.  All you can do is be clear to them.  Then just ignore them. 

[Outback in Idaho]

  I need a bigger stick!

[Sea Monster]

Gothic look eyes, bufunt Grease-style hairdo, the meds make her shake more than an earthquake in California

She may or may not be your type, and hey, that's fine, whatever rolls your cigarillo.


But at a face-value reading "I won't date her because she's got a mental illness and a fashion style that doesn't complement my own" isn't particularly gallant, (or attractive, but you're not trying to date me, so it's a moot point)


If I was in a looking-for-a-partner mood, and I tried to chat someone up and they started giving me a quiz to meet their criteria, there's a good chance I wouldn't fill it out, thank them for their time, and carry on.


As to your problem - If you've genuinely told her you are not interested (and not just avoided confrontation and imagined they know what you're thinking), then you could ask another one of her friends or church members to speak to her.

If it becomes a serious issue, then as you've said, restraining orders and formal complaints through whatever passes for "the Authority" in your parts are an option.

[Alan K.]

You guys are pretty specific about what you want, I just want a woman...

I was going to type in some particulars, but I decided to just stop right there.

[Chako]

Umm...did you ask her permission to post her photo on here?

Well if it helps any, I was not looking and providence reared its beautiful head.

[Aloha]

Umm...did you ask her permission to post her photo on here?

Well if it helps any, I was not looking and providence reared its beautiful head.

Organically seems to be one terrific way in which relationships happen. 

Good for you Chako and congrats

[Smashie]

There are 3 types of women

1. attractive
2. single
3, mentally stable

you get to pick 2 choices only 

[yud]

As someone who has never gotten a woman to date him (would of thought the free food would get at least a date) I probably am a bad person to chime in, but I have read scholarship on the subject and have found various filaments that don't work.

It seems like your list basically comes down to do you hunt, fish, and camp, I am sure there is dating site for that, (remember seeing ads for hunting women, navy women, and republican women sites on Facebook).  Also, I would think about if you really want this, like I like kayaking but don't want to date kayaker because I use it to get away from people.

And I understand not being attracted to someone, but even so I agree with Sea Monster posting their picture on the internet is bad form.

[Outback in Idaho]

  Bad form or not I got my point across, and I did hide it. You didn't have to click the spoiler button, no one end mentioned to click it, but you did it freely. The point was proven. Be it a knife or some other multitool proof is in the viewing. The photo was publicly posted on facebook. And how many of MTO I wonder, when the women's forum was running, went out and asked for permission to use the various photos? It's not any different, 'cept most of those were visually appealing.

  There are some people in this world that won't take no for an answer. Even after posting on Facebook that I want nothing of her and asking people to get the point across to her she's still sending me texts. Am going to put a list, got some great ideas on the humorous side, and might throw something up or hire Monty Python to give me some pointers in something to write up.

  Least on social media it's a disclaimer of sorts. if you don't like pina colatas and dancing in the rain - don't befiend. 

[Outback in Idaho]

There are 3 types of women

1. attractive
2. single
3, mentally stable

you get to pick 2 choices only 

  She's single, probably will be for a long time. 80% of marriages involving someone who's bipolar end up in divorce in the first year. From blogs from bipolar individuals the best friend or partner they could have is someone who is also bipolar.

[Sea Monster]

Be it a knife or some other multitool proof is in the viewing

I'm not sure carrying on the comparison of people to tools is of any benefit, but anyway - I would suggest the proof is in the using, getting to know the quirks and qualities, and adapting it to your needs, and your habits to it's optimal usage - just like when you change from an inside-tool Multi to and outside-tool, or butterfly to sliding, or 2HO to OHO.

Many a person has judged a tool poorly based on looks and found it up to the task once carried, and many have been excited about a tools visual aesthetics and found it appallingly unergonomic or lacking in function.

Now I don't know this woman, none of us here except you do - She might be a hopeless human, they exist. I certainly don't believe all are equal, but she might not - either way has no bearing on me. I just don't see the wisdom in trying to get us "on side" with your distaste for her - that's your business.

Tell her you're not interested, and won't be replying to any of her attempts to contact you, then leave it at that - Depending on where someone is in their life, any response, even a negative one, can be enough to keep trying.

[Outback in Idaho]

  Oh, not trying to get anyone on any side. Was more commenting as the the list, as a last ditch effort to keep freaky women from trying to date me through facebook - and so this other one might get a clue that she has no chance. I'd much rather be alone than to be mixed up with someone that's dragging baggage around for 40+ years and has instability issues.
  Underneath she's fun to be with, will give her that. Though she's too needy, thinks the universe revolves around her, and is embarrassing to take to dinner. And rude, wow, don't leave her out of a conversation or she's standing in between saying, "Hi!" or something. She's a human version of a lap dog.

  Yup, I did not respond. Came close, but had no time. When I did, I though, nah, this is a ploy. Swear every time I say publicly, or to friends, that I think she's gotten the idea or hint and she's gone, Next thing I know another text or voice call comes in. Freaky scary! So when coworkers ask if she's gone, I smile and lie. Inside I'm sighing.

[twiliter]

There are 3 types of women

1. attractive
2. single
3, mentally stable

you get to pick 2 choices only 

[dks]

Some people get upset when you post their picture         (joking, do not want to start again....)

old, classic, joke:

A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.

The first does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought    for a long time about what each woman had done with the money, and then he married the one with the largest "pectoral area".......

When the right one comes along, you will know.

If it does not feel right, it is probably not right.

It usually happens when you stop looking.

[Outback in Idaho]

  I'd of picked #3 if she could drive, clean a fish without a fish scaler, and could cook decent.   I don't mind cooking, or doing laundry... I do that already. maybe I should look into cheap online brides.

  Umm... what photo?   Oh, the kitteh.

  I wonder though... what movie was that clip from?

[dks]

I know a couple of people that looked into online brides, several years ago, but it did not go that well.

Just because you pay for someone to come to you and seem to get along, online, it does not mean that you will like each other when you actually meet and your bride may leave you for someone else (I assume she is not legally bound to stay with you) or, you may dislike her, but be stuck with her as you have signed for and guaranteed for her to be in the country.



I used to get along brilliantly with a girl several years ago, that I had met in a nightclub and we used to accidentally meet regularly in nightclubs (I was out every night) and engage in various nocturnal activities afterwards.

She suggested we meet in the daytime and we did, but, even though she still looked hot and was a sweet girl (I always look fantastic) I found her really boring/lacking in actual conversation.  The whole meeting lasted an hour.  She told her friend, that I saw a bit later, that she had a great time........  I moved on but I never really re-connected with her.

Different situations, different environment, actually talking rather than dancing and snogging affect the attraction you have.



In general I like  good looking, to me, women (I know, I am shallow...) that I enjoy talking to (interesting/witty/clever/low cut tops) and that do not do my head in (plenty of them about).

Also, each person has their own tastes - someone who is not suitable for you may be perfect for someone else (physically, mentally, culturally..)

Some people are just meant/happier to be alone, it happens. Usually as you get older you get used to things and can not accept the changes a woman/man would bring to your life

[kkokkolis]

Do you want a woman, or a SAS Seargant?
The women who know all that wouldn't need you I guess. Unless they are searching for somebody to do their laundry and cooking while they train themselves in the range.

[Syncop8r]

In general I like  good looking, to me, women (I know, I am shallow...) that I enjoy talking to (interesting/witty/clever/low cut tops) and that do not do my head in (plenty of them about).

It's only natural to want someone you find good looking. It's only shallow if that's the ONLY thing you want. I don't think it's shallow for me to want someone good looking as well as intelligent, outgoing, interesting...

[Sea Monster]

It's only natural to want someone you find good looking.

I met my partner in the dark,

On our first catch-up we were both tired, poorly dressed, and honestly probably had other things to do.

Now seeing her, I probably don't see the same thing other people see - Maybe she has too many crows feet, or a wonky smile, or her bust-waist-hip ratio is not ideal - I wouldn't know. When I see her I see the smell of her shampoo, the taste of her cooking, the sound of her voice, the grasp of her hands.

I don't know what other people see when they look at her, and I don't much care.

Do you want a woman, or a SAS Seargant?

I'm not sure on the rules of the SAS in particular, but Women and Sergeants are not mututally exclusive 

[Aloha]

Do you want a woman, or a SAS Seargant?
The women who know all that wouldn't need you I guess. Unless they are searching for somebody to do their laundry and cooking while they train themselves in the range.

 

[kkokkolis]

When I see her I see the smell of her shampoo, the taste of her cooking, the sound of her voice, the grasp of her hands.

You are not much of a monster after all.


I feel the same about my girl. I met her 31 years ago. When we are together, I am still 17 and she is still 16, most of the time. My only criterion was what dsk (a trully Greek soul) described above. What else could it be during a boy's seventeens? But we proved to be soul mates, inseparable, mutually complementary. I sing to her what a Nobelist Greek poet wrote and a great composer set to music.


"Once every thousand years
the nightingales sing differently.
They don't laugh neither they cry
they only say, they only say


Once every thousand years
love becomes eternal.
To be lucky, to be lucky
to hit the right year"

[Outback in Idaho]

  When one looks at a woman, they would see her intricacies and life within. If one wants to have a relationship with another of the same species they should have complimentary attributes to make life more interesting. And love has a tendency to bring out the inner beauty of your companion.

  There are a lot of women I find attractive that most guys think are Huh? I see the nuances that most don't see ... in everything. Much rather prefer a woman that appear to be healthy, meat on her bones, isn't afraid of of dirt either, and that swagger. Luv a woman that can sport a hat well and wears boots. Doesn't mean she has to, but it's something that is attractive. Plane Lain or Farmer's Daughter women are extremely attractive. If I can look her in the face, her face being natural, and I can smile - she's got potential. But then I wonder, do I have potential??