A LETTER TO HER REDNECK SON

[Pacu]

    LETTER FROM MOM
    Dear Son,
    I'm writing this real slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last  West Virginia family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.
    This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure about it. I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven't seen them since.
    The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.
    About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy Bob said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
    Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your pappy out.
    Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle.
    Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated, he burned for three days.
    Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down!
    There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal has happened.
    Your Favorite Aunt,
    Mom

[Freudian Frog]

Why are you posting your private letters up by the way?

Kidding, I laughed.

[nuphoria]

Oh my, I'm sure I met some folks like that in TN 

Lovely cichlid BTW 
Lake Malawi?

[jim guy]

did this happen in arkansas?

[cgk]

West Virginia family
Graysonk's family?

[HBlaine]

Last KENTUCKY family....   

[Mike, Lord of the Spammers!]

That's bloody funny

[american lockpicker]

Not funny.

[DaveK]

I smiled. Thanks Pacu

[ducktapehero]

I've tried to get my son to call me Uncle Dad but he just won't do it.

[GraysonK]

West Virginia family
Graysonk's family?

LOL!  Possibly...you just never know.  C'mon AL, it's funny.  You and I both know people who would write something like this.   

[american lockpicker]

West Virginia family
Graysonk's family?

LOL!  Possibly...you just never know.  C'mon AL, it's funny.  You and I both know people who would write something like this.   

It had to be someone from Boone county...

[GraysonK]

West Virginia family
Graysonk's family?

LOL!  Possibly...you just never know.  C'mon AL, it's funny.  You and I both know people who would write something like this.   

It had to be someone from Boone county...

LMAO....yeah, probably. 

[jim guy]

West Virginia family
Graysonk's family?

LOL!  Possibly...you just never know.  C'mon AL, it's funny.  You and I both know people who would write something like this.   

It had to be someone from Boone county...

LMAO....yeah, probably. 

Im pretty sure thats my next door neighbors.