A whole new level of wrong!

[GraysonK]

I just saw on the Weather Channel news that the USPS has announced that it will be recycling letters to Santa instead of delivering them to North Pole, Alaska.  Now I understand recycling, after they are delivered, but you just don't announce that!!!!  Kids see TV.   That is just wrong.  I mean I do understand that it's a lot of paper, but why announce it like that in the news?  Couldn't they just have done it quietly?  I know that some people think that Christmas is too commercialized and that a lot of people out there may not celebrate Christmas per se, but seriously?  I realize that kids eventually find out the truth about old St. Nick, but should they hear about it on the news?  I think I'm gonna cry. 

[Whoey]

Like I said:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Postal_codes_in_Canada#Santa_Claus

    SANTA CLAUS
    NORTH POLE  H0H 0H0
    CANADA

[Mr. Whippy]

Wait! What are you saying GK? 

[Gareth]

I had a big debate with my wife as to whether we should play along with the Santa Claus story with our daughter.  I'm against telling lies to kids in general as people normally do it just to make their own lives easier.  However I was talked around on this one and currently our daughter is living in happy ignorance.

I agree that making a news piece on what happens to all the letters could really upset a kid who is still happily looking forward to a letter or gift from Santa.  Luckily British TV seems to be very keen on keeping up the myth and would normally try and sell it with something like "when Santa has read all the letters he sends them here to be recycled, just doing his bit to save the world...etc"

[GraysonK]

I had a big debate with my wife as to whether we should play along with the Santa Claus story with our daughter.  I'm against telling lies to kids in general as people normally do it just to make their own lives easier.  However I was talked around on this one and currently our daughter is living in happy ignorance.

I agree that making a news piece on what happens to all the letters could really upset a kid who is still happily looking forward to a letter or gift from Santa.  Luckily British TV seems to be very keen on keeping up the myth and would normally try and sell it with something like "when Santa has read all the letters he sends them here to be recycled, just doing his bit to save the world...etc"

Exactly!  That would have been fine. 

[ducktapehero]

That is a load of crap. Do these people not think? Did they say anything about making sure the kids leave the room or anything?

[Mr. Whippy]

What are you people saying!?   



lalalalalalalalalalalala..... I can't see this, I can't read this...

[ducktapehero]

I still believe. 

Actually, I have to admit that on Xmas morning, even as an adult, that a little bitty part of me HOPES that Santa came and left me something. But then again emotionally I never grew up so that may have something to do with it.  

[GraysonK]

That is a load of crap. Do these people not think? Did they say anything about making sure the kids leave the room or anything?

Not that I saw.  I just sat there staring at the TV thinking "Are you stupid?  Shut up!"

[ducktapehero]

We need a lynch mob!!!!!

[Benner]

Simply doing it after 9pm would have done.

[nuphoria]

Yeah, no pissing on childhood dreams before 9pm 

Being dyslexic, I was always a tad concerned as to why Satan would be visiting anyway 

[turbov21]

I had a big debate with my wife as to whether we should play along with the Santa Claus story with our daughter.  I'm against telling lies to kids in general as people normally do it just to make their own lives easier.  However I was talked around on this one and currently our daughter is living in happy ignorance.

Ignorance? Pfah.  Santa's as real as Lolcat.

[Mr. Whippy]

Well, thanks a lot.


There goes my one chance at a Wenger Giant knife...

 

[EM745]

There is no more Santa, sorry to say. 

[Mike, Lord of the Spammers!]

What a dumbass thing to do

[Gareth]

There is no more Santa, sorry to say. 

(Image removed from quote.)

LOL 

[Grant Lamontagne]

Santa Claus: An Engineer’s Perspective

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau).

At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each.

Different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical), this works out to 967.7 visits per second.

This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks.

This means Santa’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest manmade vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the “flying” reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can’t be done with eight or even nine of them. Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance. This would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft reentering the earth’s atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake.

The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,500 g’s. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.

Therefore, even if Santa did exist, he’s dead now.

Merry Christmas.

Def

[ducktapehero]

Of course that's assuming Santa operated within our space-time restraints. Which we all know he doesn't.

[AHB]

 I'm against telling lies to kids in general as people normally do it just to make their own lives easier.

The father in "Calvin & Hobbs" is my big idol..
 

[Flash]

Def....you are missing the point entirely.

You see, he does this by using a VERY special tool that is at his disposal....

Magic.

Simple as that, its magic that enables him to do all of this.

Christmas, its the time for miracles.

(I was Santa at my children's last school Christmas party....neither of them had a clue and the look in their eyes as I told them about how they behaved and what they did at home was PRICELESS.....one of the better things I have done  of sweet memories)

[DaveK]

600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance. This would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft reentering the earth’s atmosphere.

Well there you go you see. That's why Rudolph's nose is red.

[Sazabi]

600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance. This would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft reentering the earth’s atmosphere.

Well there you go you see. That's why Rudolph's nose is red.

It's the emitter for the subspace bubble that engulfs the reindeer, sleigh, and Santa, and allows for subluminal velocities through the reduction of mass and changing the known constants of time and space? 

[DaveK]

Nah. It's his nose.

[Sazabi]

 

[Tsquare]

I used to live a block away from Santa Claus's house when I was in the Air Force stationed near North Pole Alaska.

[Gareth]

 I'm against telling lies to kids in general as people normally do it just to make their own lives easier.

The father in "Calvin & Hobbs" is my big idol..
 
(Image removed from quote.)

  Excellent! I love Calvin and Hobbs.

[Chako]

Likewise. Classic!

I think there is magic when little ones believe in Santa. It harms nobody, and eventually, they figure it out on their own. But to take that magic away is heartless for kids need imagination, and with its loss, so is innocence. Kids these days grow up fast enough despite our best intentions.

[GraysonK]

Likewise. Classic!

I think there is magic when little ones believe in Santa. It harms nobody, and eventually, they figure it out on their own. But to take that magic away is heartless for kids need imagination, and with its loss, so is innocence. Kids these days grow up fast enough despite our best intentions.

Well said!   

[Black Rose]

Being dyslexic, I was always a tad concerned as to why Satan would be visiting anyway  

   

My wife is very dyslexic....I have to show this to her