2012 SHOT Award Nominations

[AimlessWanderer]

I thought it would be nice to put forward nominations for awards for some of the treasures Grant & Bob unearthed at this years SHOT show, to convey our feelings towards these new offerings. Not that this should be taken seriously in any way whatsoever, just thought it might be a bit of a giggle 

Nomination for Innovation Award:
Gerber - Groundbreaker
You can trust Gerber to come out with something totally different to anyone else. Althought the price may be a little high, the design aspects of this industry specific MT are highly ambitious and very cleverly thought out.

Nomination For Bare Faced Cheek Award
SOG - Power Duo
Sellotaping a one handed Victorinox knife to one leg of a PPP has proved quite popular, but somewhere in Ibach there's a guy pointing at the screen saying "Oy, that's mine"

Nomination For Profound Shabbiness Award
Taylor Cutlery - Tough Tool
Not only for producing a multitool which is crushable by human hands, but also for putting a guy behind the counter who doesn't know anything about the tools or who they get their major supply contracts from

Nomination For Pulling Out Of Finger Award
Gerber - Dime
Deciding "OK, feller's - we're not going to get away with this much longer - we need to come up with a design for a keychain tool which actually WORKS and that people will actually want"

Nominations For Token Gesture Award
Leatherman - Orange Fuse
Wenger - NewRanger 90,
Victorinox - Whatever that Dual Pro X with saw thing was
Vic and Wenger's shuffling around of existing components to produce something "new", and LM's paint job of a tool I thought they were pulling the plug on?

Nominations for Eco Design (Design Recycling) Award
Leatherman - OHT
Pulling together expired patents from Gerber with SOG style components to produce something resembling the Vic Sportratchet

Nominations for Most Comical Attempt at Appearing Environmentally Friendly Award
Leatherman - Z Rex
Producing a large aluminium frame with carbide insert, along with all the necessary plant, processing, labour and materials in order to reuse a tiny fraction of the scrap left over from producing Waves and Charges.

Nominations for Blatent Test Run For Future Production Award
Leatherman - Orange Fuse
Using a tool who's head is on the chopping block anyway as a test run for the coating proposed for the OHT. The testers being us of course!!

Any others ...?

[dks]

      

Maybe a nomination for most pictures taken with attractive women for no practical reason..... 

[Grant Lamontagne]

It looks to me like you pretty well have this covered Al!  I am laughing my arse off at that list! 

Def

[AimlessWanderer]

A couple more nominations just in ....

Nomination for Most Puzzling Decision Award
CRKT - S.P.E.W
Not so much for the knife itself, but for the decision to claim a knife that will get most LEO's reaching for their weapons an everyday tool, and then calling it "Vomit"

Nomination for Inconspicuous Fondling of a Manakin Award
Bob - Jsews

[Carlos]

I think there is one missing from your list...

Nominations for the "Nothing to see, move along" Award: Victorinox 

I mean, did they show anything?

[AimlessWanderer]

We're still open to more nominations, and later on we will be declaring the winner of the Academy's most prestigeous prize...

... The Lifetime Achievement Award!!!

The decision has already been made on this and the background story is being put together as we speak  This award will be honouring one of the true unsung heroes of the Multitool world, and bringing you the truth behind the range of tools we carry everyday.

More on this later   

In the meantime though, feel free to make any other nominations as you see fit 

[AHB]

Brilliant... 

[AimlessWanderer]

No other nominations? 

OK, Lifetime Achievement Award coming up ...

[AimlessWanderer]

OK final nomination, and we can all go back to normality 

Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s time to bestow our highest accolade for which the winner shall receive pretty much nothing other than recognition on the world’s finest forum and the planet’s greatest multitool think tank. This award is where we acknowledge true talent, not just on a single event or product, but a lifetime of dedication leading to some amazing triumphs and the inspiration of a great many people. Our story begins over 30 years ago when a young Timothy S Leatherman bought a really crap car.

Tim wasn’t a bright fellow and had many things against him, including his fashion sense and an obscure floppy hairstyle. To start off with his story was a perpetual catalogue of dazed bewilderment and mind boggling mishap. Many a time the floppy haired imbecile was caught trying to drive his car by climbing into the trunk.



One day, confused by his inability to find the steering wheel, or the gear stick, or any pedals, or even the window, he turned to the multipurpose knife in his pocket for guidance. Whilst the knife that lay within was highly efficient in a great many ways, it was sorely lacking a sense of humour and merely mocked Tim for his stupidity in a very scathing manner.

At that moment, Tim felt that the disappearance of all driving apparatus was a cruel trick played upon him by the small bladed tormentor in his pocket, and inspired by the online community at Multitool.org decided that a whole new style of pocket tool was required to deal with such events. The following morning Tim finished off a packet of Cornflakes at breakfast and decided to trick the knife into assisting him in creating a successor in title as pocket companion. Using the scissors he cut out some bizarre shapes from his cereal box, taped them together and took them to Gerber, a prominent knife and tool company in his home town of Portland, Oregon. Tim truly was a blithering idiot.
 


Although Tim had very nicely presented his cardboard creations, Gerber politely explained they were unimpressed with the mechanical properties and didn’t think a cardboard tool would be the way forward for them. Little did either Tim or Gerber know at that time, that decades later another company called Taylor Brands would be influenced by the notion of inferior materials and would secure a major supply contract from the Australian Army. Gerber did however take some pity on the poor misguided fool, and gave him one small free piece of advice which turned out to be his first step on the road to success.

“Get rid of that coat you clown, it looks like the insulation off a hot water tank”
 


With his fashion sense rebuked and his hairline drifting Northward, Tim tried a red apron. Whilst he got many offers for playing an in-store elf around Christmas time, no developments were being made in his range of cardboard tooling. Tim decided to get ambitious. He acquired another jacket, but this time with far less padding and this revolutionised his toolmaking approach.



He began gluing together bits of coat hanger and other assorted bits of metal he found, and while his creations were no more useful than the cardboard carbuncles that went before, Tim realised that metals might be more advantageous as a base material. Despite this he still couldn’t fashion together anything to impress Gerber or to get his psychiatric assessor off his back, and if he didn’t move fast his next outer garment would have wraparound sleeves that fastened up the back. Tim needed help – and quick! He was rapidly becoming aware of his limitations and knew he had to come up with something to compensate for his inadequacies. He knew that if he grew a beard he would instantly acquire great wisdom which would aid him in his quest, but alas he was incapable of even this.



Thankfully, before things collapsed once and for all, there came the coalition which formed the start of a great journey, in turn leading to the creation of the Leatherman Tool Group.

Timothy S Leatherman got a fleece!



From that day forward things became much clearer for Tim, and new designs started to present themselves. People started showing an interest in his tools, and orders started dribbling in. Guided by the fleece, Tim created design after design, each one better and more popular than the last. The designs were new, but still awkward and primitive by today’s standards and Tim was having to produce the tools one by one with a Dremel



A better thermal performance was needed if the company was going to succeed. Whilst Tim was still unable to tie his own shoelaces without assistance from the fleece, his synthetic woolly counterpart knew exactly what was required. In the early hours of the morning one September night, the fleece whispered in Tim’s ear a phrase which Tim would adopt as his own personal motto.


 
From that day forward, Tim started using the zipper and his fleece became even more efficient. Suddenly the most amazing designs began to spring forth. The masses were mesmerised by Tim’s (and fleece’s) creations and every design he made sold like hot cakes.



Not everything was a success however. Occasionally Tim, still being a fully fledged moron, would thrust his guiding light into a low temperature wash and 1200RPM spin cycle leading to moments of profound disorientation. This accounts for the blips in LTG’s history such as the Juices floppy scissors and vicious drivers, the Wingman marketing campaign, and most recently the “photo-fit” design aspects of the OHT.

Despite this, fleece persevered and continued to drag Tim through every clueless moment of every waking day, and deliver us the range of products that so many of us have come to know and love. It even accompanied Tim when he achieved his lifelong dream in meeting the guys who inspired him so many years before.



So without further ado, it is with this tireless dedication in mind that we must present the Lifetime Achievement Award to none other than ...


Tim Leatherman’s Fleece!!!


 

[Ombudsman]

What about this idea for a MultiTool Cup Award 

[AimlessWanderer]

What about this idea for a MultiTool Cup Award 

(Image removed from quote.)

That's CLEVER 

[Ombudsman]

Hehehe even the awards are multitools too !  

only in MT.O ! 

[Mr. Whippy]

50ft Trad,

I thought you were a Brit.  Surely this should have been in Poll form. 

[Bruce909]

Thank God I left my jacket in the car that day! 

Al, I don't know what creative juice you are drinking but I want some.

Bruce

[Syph007]

50ft-trad, I laughed so hard reading your last post I'm still in tears, that was superbly brilliant writing!   

[mvyrmnd]

Fantastically hilarious. Thank you!

[AimlessWanderer]

50ft Trad,

I thought you were a Brit.  Surely this should have been in Poll form. 

over 12 months and 1500 posts and still no polls created ... I'm so proud of myself 

Thank God I left my jacket in the car that day! 

Al, I don't know what creative juice you are drinking but I want some.

Bruce

A wee tot or seven of 12 year old Glenfiddich 

Thanks for the kind comments guys 

[AHB]

All Hail The Fleece...

[AimlessWanderer]

All Hail The Fleece...

I wonder if it has a name 

[Ombudsman]

I wonder if it has a name 

Don't know about a name, but it apparently has a brand...   

[Reinier]

I love this thread

[AimlessWanderer]

I was thinking that with the prototype tool being called Mr Crunch, whether it might be something like Mr Snuggles 

[dks]

so, when does the Gerber patent for the Fleece coat run out? 

[AimlessWanderer]

The thought of Gerber clothing is truly alarming 

"Out the front deployment with a flick of the wrist" 

[Ombudsman]

The thought of Gerber clothing is truly alarming 

"Out the front deployment with a flick of the wrist" 

OHT = One Hand Trousers !   

[Bruce909]

I re-read this entire thread last night powered by adult beverages and I had a choice to make, either have another or write this reply.  The reply waited until this morning. 

Looking at Bob's picture in the Nomination for Inconspicuous Fondling of a Manakin Award I think he is a double winner he wins the

Most Married Guy in Vegas Award also.  Check out the placement of his hands (his whole arms) both are visible in the picture and well behind him making no contact with the lovely young lady.  No way was Bob going to be explaining anything about that picture.

Of course the lighthearted joking in this thread has been greatly enhanced by Obudsman so I nominate him for the :

Best Use of Photoshop in this Thread Award

I bet he will be able to post a photo of his trophy if he wins...LOL

We should think about recognizing Al (50ft-trad) for his creative flair with this thread and of course there is Al's male muse Tim Leatherman.  Without Tim's determination for over 30 years Al would not have had cardboard cutouts to poke fun. 

Bruce
 

[Gareth]

All Hail The Fleece...

all hail the fleece.

superb bit of rambling weirdness mate.

[Mercury]

I just caught up with threads today, and this tops the cake!  Hilarious Al!!!

[Tsquare]

I nominate Grant and Bob for best show coverage.  They were even able to keep their cameras in focus, which is better than some other coverage I have seen around the web.

[ICanFixThat]

      

SHOT-2012 was kind of boring, but this is making it much better. 

It was so boring I must have fallen asleep and missed the SOG, the new Leatherman won't be here until next Chistmas and after playing with a MUT I'm not buy any of their new tools without testing them first.  I live in MA and Springfield Armory stuff for the most part is not obtainable here. I'm not big on guns, but this company makes a couple I'd like, in case I run up against someone who should not own such things.

This article is some of the best SHOT coverage I've seen.