Parenting wisdom.

[Heinz Doofenshmirtz]

My wife: "At this point in my parenting career, I only respond to the smell of smoke, and the sound of breaking glass."

Me: "Well, that's a bit narrow... I also have 'blood-curdling screams of pain' on my list."

My wife: "Ah, that's a gray area."

[Nhoj]

Put "Dad I think I'm pregnant." on your list

[Breezy12]

My wife: "At this point in my parenting career, I only respond to the smell of smoke, and the sound of breaking glass."

Me: "Well, that's a bit narrow... I also have 'blood-curdling screams of pain' on my list."

My wife: "Ah, that's a gray area."

Not sure how old your kids are, but my boys are 6 and 3... this sounds about right. 

[nuphoria]

Ha!

We have had many talks about our young "man" using protection - basically I told him loud and clear...

I 'aint raisin' any of your babies!  

[Mr. Whippy]

Also:

Respond to authoritative raps on the door--especially with flashing lights in the background.

[Taxi Dad]

My wife: "At this point in my parenting career, I only respond to the smell of smoke, and the sound of breaking glass."

Me: "Well, that's a bit narrow... I also have 'blood-curdling screams of pain' on my list."

My wife: "Ah, that's a gray area."

it's the SILENCE that worries me the most 

[lowtech]

Could you please stop this worrying thread? My wife to be and i are planning to be parents and your posts do unsettle me  - Maybe because they remind me of my Childhood/boyhood days too much when i used to damage a thing or two with my brothers...

[mvyrmnd]

My wife: "At this point in my parenting career, I only respond to the smell of smoke, and the sound of breaking glass."

Me: "Well, that's a bit narrow... I also have 'blood-curdling screams of pain' on my list."

My wife: "Ah, that's a gray area."

it's the SILENCE that worries me the most 

I was about to say the same thing.

The best piece of advice I ever got was "They're young, they heal fast"

[Heinz Doofenshmirtz]

Could you please stop this worrying thread? My wife to be and i are planning to be parents and your posts do unsettle me  - Maybe because they remind me of my Childhood/boyhood days too much when i used to damage a thing or two with my brothers...

Sorry if you're offended, but this was meant in fun only.  It sounds like your concern is about how good of a job you'll be able to do as a parent yourself.  There are a lot of resources available for that.  Many counties and every state has public education resources to help people be better parents, there are classes at local community colleges and adult education systems on parenting skills and childhood education, and many, many books available via online sellers and local libraries about parenting skills and practices.  My wife and I read many of the Dr. Sears books on parenting skills and education and really liked what we found there.  I highly recommend them.

[Taxi Dad]

and don't forget ALCOHOL 
lots of it 

[firiki]

Being a parent is a life-time job IMO, lowtech, and I've always thought the best way to bring up kids is by becoming the example you'd like them to remember. Don't panic, reason with them instead. There is a latin proverb saying "While learning you shall teach and while teaching you shall learn". There are 5 kids in my life now (friends' and family's) and I assure you the proverb is right. I forgot to mention I keep a wooden mallet for some occasions Hope that helps.

[Grumpy]

Just give them unconditional LOVE!!!

[Taxi Dad]

i like the idea of 'grandchildren' 
(maybe not quite yet  )
lot's of my friends are having them, seem easier/cheeper than your own kids. all the fun bits then give 'em back and sleep well 
shame you have to have kids first, if only you could jump straight to the grand kids 

[Grumpy]

i like the idea of 'grandchildren' 
(maybe not quite yet  )
lot's of my friends are having them, seem easier/cheeper than your own kids. all the fun bits then give 'em back and sleep well 
shame you have to have kids first, if only you could jump straight to the grand kids 

At your age (90) you need grandkids quick

[lowtech]

Could you please stop this worrying thread? My wife to be and i are planning to be parents and your posts do unsettle me  - Maybe because they remind me of my Childhood/boyhood days too much when i used to damage a thing or two with my brothers...

Sorry if you're offended, but this was meant in fun only.  It sounds like your concern is about how good of a job you'll be able to do as a parent yourself.  There are a lot of resources available for that.  Many counties and every state has public education resources to help people be better parents, there are classes at local community colleges and adult education systems on parenting skills and childhood education, and many, many books available via online sellers and local libraries about parenting skills and practices.  My wife and I read many of the Dr. Sears books on parenting skills and education and really liked what we found there.  I highly recommend them.

Thank you for your serious concern! I did understand the nature of those posts and it seems as a non native speaker, my - also joking - response came across too serious.
I´ll wait and see what life throws at us and then act accordingly. I guess there wil be good and bad times, as with all things in life. And it´s good to know the experienced ones around here will also give advise on this not really forum specific theme. 

[Grumpy]

make sure you have a big cupboard to lock them in

[firiki]

One can say pretty serious things while having a good laugh, me thinks 

[kkokkolis]

Just remember you were a kid once and then try to recall your way of thinking, feelings and needs.
For some of us it is easy, as nothing really changed since.
Anyway, a baby's laugh and a kid's kiss worth everything.

[Heinz Doofenshmirtz]

Could you please stop this worrying thread? My wife to be and i are planning to be parents and your posts do unsettle me  - Maybe because they remind me of my Childhood/boyhood days too much when i used to damage a thing or two with my brothers...

Sorry if you're offended, but this was meant in fun only.  It sounds like your concern is about how good of a job you'll be able to do as a parent yourself.  There are a lot of resources available for that.  Many counties and every state has public education resources to help people be better parents, there are classes at local community colleges and adult education systems on parenting skills and childhood education, and many, many books available via online sellers and local libraries about parenting skills and practices.  My wife and I read many of the Dr. Sears books on parenting skills and education and really liked what we found there.  I highly recommend them.

Thank you for your serious concern! I did understand the nature of those posts and it seems as a non native speaker, my - also joking - response came across too serious.
I´ll wait and see what life throws at us and then act accordingly. I guess there wil be good and bad times, as with all things in life. And it´s good to know the experienced ones around here will also give advise on this not really forum specific theme. 

Well, this is the Break Room... anything goes here (except for politics and religion usually) as long as you're not maliciously hating on anyone!

And, we're a great bunch of people...  we help each other out here any way we can.   

[Rory]

Insanity is hereditary, you get it from your kids!

[firiki]

Insanity is hereditary, you get it from your kids!

  True. I wish it was contagious as well