Why I do dumb things....

[Grant Lamontagne]

If any of you wonder why I get into such silly situations, allow me to give you proof that I come by it honestly.

I got a call from my father a little while ago- I could tell something was up, and as usual when getting a call from people in their late 70's I was a bit concerned.

Luckily it wasn't anything wrong with them, as I found out when my father told me he just witnessed a rope killing a deer in their yard. 

For those not aware, my parents have a nice cottage property in the middle of nowhere and they live there year round.  My father is always puttering around the yard and it's entirely possible that he left a rope hanging somewhere that may have snagged a deer accidentally.

As he kept telling the story, about going out to try and help the deer I realized he hadn't said "rope," he'd said "wolf."

And my father, upon seeing this wolf attack and kill a deer, jumped into his boots and ran out to try and help the deer with.... well, not what you'd think.

My father has some guns.  He has been a hunter his whole life and has fallen heir to a number of guns from older family members who have quit hunting or passed away.  Even after having given some to me, he is still well equipped to dispatch a wolf if necessary.

So which gun did he grab? 

None. 

He went after a wolf with a walking stick.   

Worse, their house has river access, and this particular murder was made on the ice just off the end of the dock.  Ice that is strong enough to support a small deer and a wolf, but not strong enough to support a full grown man, so here's my 76 year old father chasing a wolf on thin ice with a walking stick.

Now, I totally expect to have similar discussions with my father, but usually it is reversed, with me telling him something dumb I've done and him telling me how stupid it was.

I'm glad he's ok, especially as my mother had been filming the whole thing from their new sunroom, and it would have been somewhat distressing if she had footage of the rest of the pack tearing into my father.   

I strongly suggested that despite the laws regarding proper firearm storage, they should keep a loaded .22 rifle in the sunroom so that in the future when Dad wants to help a poor woodland creature, Mom can shoot him in the ass. 

So there you have it- my insanity is hereditary.  That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.....

Def

[Nix]

Once upon a time....

There I was sitting and reading of a pleasant summer evening when my dogs start barking their heads off. I look out the window and see a Black Bear pulling my bird feeders down, spilling the seeds out, and licking them up.

So, like your father, I grab up a broom and make for the door to chase the bear off. My better-half intervenes, and wants me to leave the bear alone. I don't want the bear thinking that we're an easy mark or that my backyard is the place for a free midnight snack. "it'll just take a second." "No." "Don't worry, I've got this broom." "Don't do it." "Don't worry so much."

Then as I glance outside, I see two little cubs stroll out of the shadows and sidle up to the free lunch buffet.

I put the broom away.

[SteveC]

Like father like son 

[Grant Lamontagne]

Once upon a time....

There I was sitting and reading of a pleasant summer evening when my dogs start barking their heads off. I look out the window and see a Black Bear pulling my bird feeders down, spilling the seeds out, and licking them up.

So, like your father, I grab up a broom and make for the door to chase the bear off. My better-half intervenes, and wants me to leave the bear alone. I don't want the bear thinking that we're an easy mark or that my backyard is the place for a free midnight snack. "it'll just take a second." "No." "Don't worry, I've got this broom." "Don't do it." "Don't worry so much."

Then as I glance outside, I see two little cubs stroll out of the shadows and sidle up to the free lunch buffet.

I put the broom away.

Yeah, that would not have gone well for you.... 

Unless you are in Canada, then you don't even need a broom!



Def

[Poncho65]

 

You guys are funny

[zoidberg]

I always do dumb stuff, just don't tell everyone about it...

[Lynn LeFey]

The original post in this thread is... 

AWESOME!

My husband was belly laughing. This is the most entertaining read I've had in a while.

Thank you. Thank your father. 

[GuacamoleBay]

If it makes him feel better I once touched a hot barbecue with both hands? Not sure what 7 year old me was thinking there...

[Gerhard Gerber]

My dad is 72.....or 73.

They refuse to admit they're getting old, they refuse to slow down and be safe, all the numerous medical scares last year were due to injuries doing small renovations and repairs at home 

[styx]

My dad is 72.....or 73.

They refuse to admit they're getting old, they refuse to slow down and be safe, all the numerous medical scares last year were due to injuries doing small renovations and repairs at home 

No smurf. My 76 year old graps barely admitted that I might have had a  point about using delta sanders being a better tool choice for toenails than an angle grinder

[Don Pablo]

My dad is 72.....or 73.

They refuse to admit they're getting old, they refuse to slow down and be safe, all the numerous medical scares last year were due to injuries doing small renovations and repairs at home 

No smurf. My 76 year old graps barely admitted that I might have had a  point about using delta sanders being a better tool choice for toenails than an angle grinder

I thought that's what SAK scissors were for. 

[lister]

So when can we expect the footage to turn up on the interwebs? 

 

[Gerhard Gerber]

My dad is 72.....or 73.

They refuse to admit they're getting old, they refuse to slow down and be safe, all the numerous medical scares last year were due to injuries doing small renovations and repairs at home 

No smurf. My 76 year old graps barely admitted that I might have had a  point about using delta sanders being a better tool choice for toenails than an angle grinder

 

[Zed]

My mum's 74 and walks here dog in the dark alone on the beach at 5am ,scares me to think of her alone but she wont stop  Ive done alot of stupid things hence so many busted bones,including my busted ankle from last summer's camping trip  at 47 you think we would grow up 

[Syncop8r]

I'm still trying to figure out what rope has to do with it... 

[Kev D]

Glad your dad is ok, but that's hilarious 

[Grant Lamontagne]

I'm still trying to figure out what rope has to do with it... 

I have really bad hearing and I heard rope instead of wolf.  In my defense, my parents always call on speakerphone so they can both talk and that doesn't help.

Plus I was driving and using the Bluetooth system in the Jeep and Megan says she heard "rope" too.

Def

[styx]

My dad is 72.....or 73.

They refuse to admit they're getting old, they refuse to slow down and be safe, all the numerous medical scares last year were due to injuries doing small renovations and repairs at home 

No smurf. My 76 year old graps barely admitted that I might have had a  point about using delta sanders being a better tool choice for toenails than an angle grinder

I thought that's what SAK scissors were for. 

My dad is 72.....or 73.

They refuse to admit they're getting old, they refuse to slow down and be safe, all the numerous medical scares last year were due to injuries doing small renovations and repairs at home 

No smurf. My 76 year old graps barely admitted that I might have had a  point about using delta sanders being a better tool choice for toenails than an angle grinder

 

Well I have a theory that all the redneckian culture in the US comes from our neck of the woods

[Lynn LeFey]

Well I have a theory that all the redneckian culture in the US comes from our neck of the woods

I'm about 3/4 Scottish, 1/4 French ancestry, and I can GUARANTEE that you didn't corner the market on redneck 'Hold my beer and watch this' action. I have seen things. Dumb... DUMB things.

 

I comfort myself in thinking that redneck is an almost universal constant among cultures, regardless of the actual redness of your neck.

[Zed]

Well I have a theory that all the redneckian culture in the US comes from our neck of the woods

I'm about 3/4 Scottish, 1/4 French ancestry, and I can GUARANTEE that you didn't corner the market on redneck 'Hold my beer and watch this' action. I have seen things. Dumb... DUMB things.

 

I comfort myself in thinking that redneck is an almost universal constant among cultures, regardless of the actual redness of your neck.

  I'm of Scottish,Irish,decent and was brought up on a London council estate ,so pretty redneck 

[styx]

Well I have a theory that all the redneckian culture in the US comes from our neck of the woods

I'm about 3/4 Scottish, 1/4 French ancestry, and I can GUARANTEE that you didn't corner the market on redneck 'Hold my beer and watch this' action. I have seen things. Dumb... DUMB things.

 

I comfort myself in thinking that redneck is an almost universal constant among cultures, regardless of the actual redness of your neck.

what can I say except we're a bad influence on other cultures and nations?

[pfrsantos]

Once upon a time....

There I was sitting and reading of a pleasant summer evening when my dogs start barking their heads off. I look out the window and see a Black Bear pulling my bird feeders down, spilling the seeds out, and licking them up.

So, like your father, I grab up a broom and make for the door to chase the bear off. My better-half intervenes, and wants me to leave the bear alone. I don't want the bear thinking that we're an easy mark or that my backyard is the place for a free midnight snack. "it'll just take a second." "No." "Don't worry, I've got this broom." "Don't do it." "Don't worry so much."

Then as I glance outside, I see two little cubs stroll out of the shadows and sidle up to the free lunch buffet.

I put the broom away.

Yeah, that would not have gone well for you.... 

Unless you are in Canada, then you don't even need a broom!



Def

[pfrsantos]

(...)
He went after a wolf with a walking stick.   

Worse, their house has river access, and this particular murder was made on the ice just off the end of the dock.  Ice that is strong enough to support a small deer and a wolf, but not strong enough to support a full grown man, so here's my 76 year old father chasing a wolf on thin ice with a walking stick.

(...)

He did the right thing.

 

Due to the thin ice, he needed the walking stick to keep balance. If he had a gun, the recoil could have sent him back and he could have hurt himself.
"Son, I've been getting rid of rope packs since before you were born!"

 

[an0nemus]

I LOLd when I read what the .22LR was really for! 

[Grant Lamontagne]

I LOLd when I read what the .22LR was really for! 

So did my mother. And she's a great shot too....

Def

[an0nemus]

I LOLd when I read what the .22LR was really for! 

So did my mother. And she's a great shot too....

Def

You have a crazy family, Def, and I mean this in an admiring way 

[Grant Lamontagne]

Yes, I do indeed.

In my family, the one phrase you have to watch out for more than anything else is "I think I hurt myself."

That is code for "We should probably go to the hospital" and usually means something important is broken.  My father said it when he almost lopped his fingers off with a hatchet, my mother said it when she broke her ankle falling out of the truck... it's like the Lamontagne equivalent of Star Wars' "I've got a bad feeling about this."

 

Def