Lets get posting! v2

MMR · **Reply #1320 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:33:18 PM

What does a baby computer call his father?

Data!

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MMR · **Reply #1321 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:33:39 PM

What do you call a bear without any teeth?

A gummy bear!

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MMR · **Reply #1322 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:34:15 PM

Does anyone need an ark?

I Noah guy!

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MMR · **Reply #1323 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:34:38 PM

How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it.

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MMR · **Reply #1324 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:35:18 PM

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.

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MMR · **Reply #1325 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:35:57 PM

What’s at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?

A nervous wreck!

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MMR · **Reply #1326 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:36:48 PM

How many ears does Spock have?

Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final front-ear!

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MMR · **Reply #1327 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:37:10 PM

Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs!

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MMR · **Reply #1328 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:37:36 PM

How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?

He felt his presents!

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MMR · **Reply #1329 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:38:22 PM

What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows!

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MMR · **Reply #1330 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:38:54 PM

What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?

A can’t opener!

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MMR · **Reply #1331 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:39:18 PM

How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?

Tentacles!

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MMR · **Reply #1332 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:39:45 PM

What do prisoners use to call each other?

Cell phones!

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MMR · **Reply #1333 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:40:14 PM

How does Moses make his tea?

Hebrews it!

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MMR · **Reply #1334 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:40:36 PM

Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper?

Never mind… it’s tearable.

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MMR · **Reply #1335 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:41:05 PM

I just watched a documentary about beavers.

It was the best dam show I ever saw!

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MMR · **Reply #1336 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:41:29 PM

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

“Supplies!”

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MMR · **Reply #1337 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:42:00 PM

Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?

Because it’s pointless!

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MMR · **Reply #1338 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:42:25 PM

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

He was outstanding in his field.

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MMR · **Reply #1339 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:42:48 PM

What did the buffalo say when his son left?

Bison!

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MMR · **Reply #1340 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:43:32 PM

What do you call a fish with no eye?

Fsh!

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MMR · **Reply #1341 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:43:53 PM

When is your door not actually a door?

When it’s actually ajar.

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MMR · **Reply #1342 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:44:44 PM

What do you call a man who can’t stand?

Neil.

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MMR · **Reply #1343 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:45:29 PM

I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.

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MMR · **Reply #1344 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:46:04 PM

I’m thinking about removing my spine.

I feel like it’s only holding me back.

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MMR · **Reply #1345 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:46:36 PM

Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar?

They each got six months.

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MMR · **Reply #1346 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:47:00 PM

I’m terrified of elevators…

… so I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.

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MMR · **Reply #1347 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:47:21 PM

I used to hate facial hair…

… but then it grew on me.

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MMR · **Reply #1348 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:47:53 PM

Three fish are in a tank.

One asks the others, “How do you drive this thing?”

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MMR · **Reply #1349 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:48:14 PM

Why don’t crabs donate?

Because they’re shellfish.

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