Lets get posting! v2

MMR · **Reply #1350 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:48:38 PM

What’s the best part about living in Switzerland?

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

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MMR · **Reply #1351 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:49:08 PM

Don’t worry if you miss a gym session.

Everything will work out.

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MMR · **Reply #1352 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:49:32 PM

Ever tried to eat a clock?

It’s time-consuming.

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MMR · **Reply #1353 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:50:12 PM

Ever tried to eat a clock?

It’s time-consuming.

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MMR · **Reply #1354 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:51:02 PM

Why did Adele cross the road?

To say hello from the other side.

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MMR · **Reply #1355 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:51:22 PM

Did you hear about the circus fire?

It was in tents!

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MMR · **Reply #1356 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:51:40 PM

What’s red and bad for your teeth?

A brick!

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MMR · **Reply #1357 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:52:00 PM

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No eyed deer!

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MMR · **Reply #1358 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:52:29 PM

Why did Snoop Dogg need an umbrella?

Fo’ Drizzle.

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MMR · **Reply #1359 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:53:19 PM

What did the pirate get on his report card?

Seven Cs!

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MMR · **Reply #1360 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:54:13 PM

How many bugs do you need to rent out an apartment?

Tenants.

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MMR · **Reply #1361 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:54:57 PM

Why are cats bad storytellers?

Because they only have one tale.

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MMR · **Reply #1362 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:55:18 PM

How do you organize a space-themed party?

You planet.

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MMR · **Reply #1363 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:55:42 PM

What do you call a factory that sells passable products?

A satisfactory!

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MMR · **Reply #1364 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:56:18 PM

Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?

He couldn’t see himself doing it.

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MMR · **Reply #1365 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:57:27 PM

A jumper cable walks into a bar.

The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

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MMR · **Reply #1366 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:57:47 PM

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?

Nacho Cheese.

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MMR · **Reply #1367 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:58:27 PM

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing, they just waved!

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MMR · **Reply #1368 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:58:47 PM

What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk!

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MMR · **Reply #1369 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:59:29 PM

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

In case he gets a hole in one!

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MMR · **Reply #1370 on:** August 11, 2019, 04:59:59 PM

Have you heard the joke about the bed?

It hasn’t been made up yet.

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MMR · **Reply #1371 on:** August 11, 2019, 05:00:24 PM

Did you hear about the Italian Chef that died?

He pasta way.

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MMR · **Reply #1372 on:** August 11, 2019, 05:00:43 PM

Why did the coffee file a police report?

It got mugged.

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MMR · **Reply #1373 on:** August 11, 2019, 05:01:06 PM

What did the grape do when he got stepped on?

He let out a little wine.

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MMR · **Reply #1374 on:** August 11, 2019, 05:01:27 PM

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.

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MMR · **Reply #1375 on:** August 11, 2019, 05:01:54 PM

How does a penguin build it’s house?

Igloos it together.

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MMR · **Reply #1376 on:** August 11, 2019, 05:02:15 PM

What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?

An irrelephant!

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MMR · **Reply #1377 on:** August 11, 2019, 05:02:36 PM

What do you call a fat psychic?

A four-chin teller.

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MMR · **Reply #1378 on:** August 11, 2019, 05:03:57 PM

What did the left butt cheek say to the right butt cheek?

You crack me up!

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MMR · **Reply #1379 on:** August 11, 2019, 05:04:20 PM

What do you call a person in a tree with a briefcase?

A branch manager!

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