Some funny Canadian non-sense

[derekmac]

Some things that are really cool and unique in or about Canada:

Canadian Food like:
- Timbits (we will not tell you what they are, if you don't know!).
- Scrunchins (ditto)
- Bokkepootjes (ditto) ('borrowed' from the Dutch)
- Bugger-in-a-bag (ditto)
- Beaver Tails
- Quebec yellow pea soup
- Montreal smoked meat and real Montreal bagels
- Maple syrup pie
- Nanaimo bars (we made 'em first)
- Butter tarts
- Date squares
- Pablum
- Crispy Crunch bars
- Smarties
- McIntosh toffee bars
- Red Rose tea (Only in Canada ....Pity!)
- Newfie screech ..!
- and of course, Poutine (see below)

Lacrosse is Canadian.
Hockey is Canadian.
Yes, Basketball is Canadian.
The size of Canadian footballs and football fields and, one less down.
Ogopogo is Canadian (Ogopogo, a distant and less-famous relative of the Loch Ness Monster, is said to sill live in Lake Okanagan, B.C.)
Molson's (beer) is Canadian. Stronger too!
The biggest flags ever seen at the Olympic closing ceremonies were Canadian (twice...and the second one was smuggled in against a rule that was made because of the first one).
Way more entertaning beer commercials here.
Much Music kicks MTV's butt.
Tim Horton's kicks Dunkin Donut's butt.
Maple Syrup kicks Mrs. Butterworth's butt (I don't know about Aunt Jemima).
Our "Civil war" was led by a drunken, and possibly insane William Lyon McKenzie.
It was basically a bar fight that lasted a little less than an hour.
The Hudson Bay company once owned 1/11th of the Earth's surface.
The average dog sled team can kill and devour a grown human in less than three minutes.
We don't have much of a taste for powdered bear testicles, but we know who does, and we're willing to sell them.
We wear socks (black ones, if possible) with our sandals.
We knew plaid flannel was cool way before Seattle did.
We can out-drink most Americans if we both drink our more powerful Canadial beer.
We don't often marry our kinfolk.
The light bulb was actually invented by a Canadian. (Henry Woodward patented it in 1874). The patent was bought by some obscure American named Edison who improved upon the design and took credit for inventing it.
Other Canadian inventions include: the jolly jumper, duct tape, insulin, walkie talkies, roller skates, Superman, air-conditioned vehicles, acrylics, standard time (and daylight saving time), the paint-roller, the radio compass, snowmobiles, jet skis, improved zippers, and the handles on cardboard beer cases, etc.,etc., etc. (there are thousands more!)

[derekmac]

You know you're Canadian if :

You stand in "line-ups" or "queues" (in Victoria, BC) at the movie, not lines.
You're not offended by the term, "Homo Milk".
You understand the sentence, "Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my
BOWL OF POUTINE" !
You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.
You drink pop, not soda.
You had a Prime Minister who wasn't fluent in either of the official languages (English & French).
You know what it means to be 'on the pogey'.
You know that a mickey and 2-4's mean "Party at thecamp, eh?!"
You can drink legally while still a teen in some provinces.
You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.
You don't know or care about the fuss with Cuba, it's just a cheap place to travel with very good cigars.
When there is a social problem, you turn to your government to fix it, instead of telling them to stay out of it.
You're not sure if the leader of your nation has EVER had sex and you don't WANT to know if he has!
You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.
Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.
You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
You know what a Robertson screwdriver is.
You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
You know that Mounties "don't always look like that."
You dismiss all beers under 6% as "for children and the elderly."
You know that the Friendly Giant isn't a vegetable product line.
You know that Casey and Finnegan are not a Celtic musical group.
You drive with your headlights on during the day (since 1989, all new cars have been fitted with "daytime running lights").
You participated in "Participaction."
You have an Inuit carving by your bedside with the rationale, "What's good enough protection for the Prime Minister is good enough for me."
You wonder why there isn't a 5 dollar coin yet.
Like any international assasin/terrorist/spy in the world, you possess a Canadian Passport.
You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing 'u's from labor, honor, color. etc.
You know the French equivalents of "free", "prize", and "no sugar added", thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.
You are excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.
You make a mental note to talk about it at work the next day.
You can do all the hand actions to Sharon, Lois and Bram's "Skin-a-ma-rinky-dinky-doo" opus.
You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseous.
You were mad at the CBC when "The Beachcombers" were taken off the air.
You know who "Relic" is/was.
You know what a touque is and you own one and often wear it.
You have heard of ... and have some cherished momento of ... Bob and Doug McKenzie.
You still sing the "Great White North" theme song with pride ... "coo-ooh-coocoo-coo-ooh-coocoo".
You know Toronto is NOT a province.
You never miss "Coach's Corner" during Hockey Night in Canada.
Back bacon and Kraft Dinner are two of your favourite food groups.
If you live in some of the colder Canadian provinces, your car has a cord and plug sticking out of the grill ... it's a block heater for those sub-zero (in Celsius) days.
You only know three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.
You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
The mosquitoes have landing lights.
You have more kilometres on your snow blower than your car.
You have 10 favourite recipes for moose meat.
Canadian Tire Store on any Saturday is busier than most toy stores at Christmas.
You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter above the ground.
You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with frozen snow and slush.
You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.
At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
You think the start of deer season is a national holiday.
You head South to go to your cottage.
You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't prowl on your deck.
You know which leaves make good toilet paper now that there are no more dollar bills.
The major parish fund-raiser isn't bingo, it's sausage making.
You find -40C a little chilly.
The trunk of your car doubles as a portable deep freeze.
You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewellery and your Sorels.
You can play road hockey on skates.
You know 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and Construction.
The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
You perk-up when you hear the old theme from "Hockey Night in Canada".
You pronounce the last letter of the alphabet "zed" instead of "zee."
and ... You end some sentences with "eh," ... eh?

[derekmac]

Only in Canada

Only in Canada......Is the Senate of Canada sustained by protocol, alcohol and Geritol
Only in Canada......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Canada......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
Only in Canada......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Canada.....do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in Canada......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Canada......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in Canada......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in Canada......do we buy hot dogs in packages of twelve and buns in packages of eight.
Only in Canada.....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
Only in Canada......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Only in Canada......can you buy Tylenol containing codine without a prescription. In fact, Jane Fonda was once stopped at the U.S. border for trying to take it home.

[Bensasupertool]

Any nicknames for American tourists?

Great lists by the way. were similar on many topics. the car as a deep freezer is tops.

[CanadianLMfan]

Only in Canada

Only in Canada......Is the Senate of Canada sustained by protocol, alcohol and Geritol
Only in Canada......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Canada......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
Only in Canada......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Canada.....do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in Canada......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Canada......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in Canada......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in Canada......do we buy hot dogs in packages of twelve and buns in packages of eight.
Only in Canada.....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
Only in Canada......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Only in Canada......can you buy Tylenol containing codine without a prescription. In fact, Jane Fonda was once stopped at the U.S. border for trying to take it home.

 


So true...

[ducttapetech]

Lmao!

sent from Nate's mobile

[Monrogue]

Funny stuff Derek, and I love poutine

[Lynn LeFey]

I came across this video some time back. I thought it was amusing, but I wanted to know what real Canadians thought of it. Be warned, NSFW language.

[Monrogue]

and ... You end some sentences with "eh," ... eh?

And I have NEVER done this, nor will I EVER...ok? (American for "eh?")  Got it?   

[bmot]

Some things that are really cool and unique in or about Canada:

Canadian Food like:
- Bokkepootjes (ditto) ('borrowed' from the Dutch)

Those are great Do really wonder now how you pronounce that 

[jerseydevil]

and ... You end some sentences with "eh," ... eh?

And I have NEVER done this, nor will I EVER...ok? (American for "eh?") Got it?   

   Here in Jersey the equivalent is pronounced "aight".  Drives Ashley nuts when I text or say that to her..... 

[Monrogue]

and ... You end some sentences with "eh," ... eh?

And I have NEVER done this, nor will I EVER...ok? (American for "eh?") Got it?   

   Here in Jersey the equivalent is pronounced "aight".  Drives Ashley nuts when I text or say that to her..... 

  
Don't get that one around these parts much. 

[ducttapetech]

Lmao!

[jerseydevil]

and ... You end some sentences with "eh," ... eh?

And I have NEVER done this, nor will I EVER...ok? (American for "eh?") Got it?   

   Here in Jersey the equivalent is pronounced "aight".  Drives Ashley nuts when I text or say that to her..... 

  
Don't get that one around these parts much.

   Like I've said before, as far as I'm concerned, no character on The Sopranos had an accent, aight?

[Monrogue]

and ... You end some sentences with "eh," ... eh?

And I have NEVER done this, nor will I EVER...ok? (American for "eh?") Got it?   

   Here in Jersey the equivalent is pronounced "aight".  Drives Ashley nuts when I text or say that to her..... 

  
Don't get that one around these parts much.

   Like I've said before, as far as I'm concerned, no character on The Sopranos had an accent, aight?

Aight

[Whoey]

I had to look up "Sorels" 



I saw them plenty before, but I had mukluks:



 

[Cupboard]

[CanadianLMfan]

(Image removed from quote.)

 

[kirk13]

(Image removed from quote.)

 

Love it,eh!

[derekmac]

(Image removed from quote.)

 

Love it,eh!

No doot aboot it eh!!

[Grant Lamontagne]

All you ever need to know about Canada is shared by these two hosers:



If you watch the video and are curious, when the zoom in to show the Maritimes, Derek and I are in the long skinny bit on the right. 

For a more modern take on Canada we go a little bit west...





Def