What makes you laugh? comics-jokes-etc----keep it clean please

pfrsantos · **Reply #540 on:** September 25, 2019, 01:25:48 PM

I'm a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.

pfrsantos · **Reply #541 on:** September 25, 2019, 01:26:20 PM

Doctor: "Sir, I'm afraid your DNA is backwards." Me: "And?"

pfrsantos · **Reply #542 on:** September 25, 2019, 01:26:38 PM

I'm reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen... I can feel it.

pfrsantos · **Reply #543 on:** September 25, 2019, 01:27:00 PM

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

pfrsantos · **Reply #544 on:** September 25, 2019, 01:27:35 PM

Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

pfrsantos · **Reply #545 on:** September 25, 2019, 01:27:52 PM

Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race? It ended in a tie!

pfrsantos · **Reply #546 on:** September 25, 2019, 01:28:08 PM

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.

pfrsantos · **Reply #547 on:** September 25, 2019, 01:28:25 PM

The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.

pfrsantos · **Reply #548 on:** September 25, 2019, 01:28:41 PM

A plateau is the highest form of flattery.

pfrsantos · **Reply #549 on:** September 25, 2019, 01:29:12 PM

I asked my French friend if she likes to play video games. She said, "Wii."

pfrsantos · **Reply #550 on:** September 25, 2019, 01:29:41 PM

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food colouring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

pfrsantos · **Reply #551 on:** September 25, 2019, 01:30:56 PM

Becoming a vegetarian is a big missed steak.

pfrsantos · **Reply #552 on:** September 25, 2019, 01:31:37 PM

Don't interrupt someone working intently on a puzzle. Chances are, you'll hear some crosswords.

pfrsantos · **Reply #553 on:** September 25, 2019, 01:31:58 PM

Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Seine.

pfrsantos · **Reply #554 on:** September 25, 2019, 01:32:26 PM

What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are two dollars, but deer nuts are under a buck.

pfrsantos · **Reply #555 on:** September 25, 2019, 01:32:48 PM

My girlfriend said, "You act like a detective too much. I want to split up." "Good idea," I replied. "We can cover more ground that way."

pfrsantos · **Reply #556 on:** September 25, 2019, 01:33:09 PM

This morning my alarm went off. I thought it's sell-by date was tomorrow...

pfrsantos · **Reply #557 on:** September 25, 2019, 01:33:29 PM

He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how a Mercedes bends.

pfrsantos · **Reply #558 on:** September 25, 2019, 01:33:48 PM

I'm glad I know sign language. It's pretty handy.

pfrsantos · **Reply #559 on:** September 25, 2019, 01:34:06 PM

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

pfrsantos · **Reply #560 on:** September 25, 2019, 01:34:26 PM

eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and it gave me 13,749 matches.

pfrsantos · **Reply #561 on:** September 25, 2019, 01:34:44 PM

RIP boiled water. You will be mist.

pfrsantos · **Reply #562 on:** September 25, 2019, 01:35:02 PM

Trying to write with a broken pencil is pointless.

pfrsantos · **Reply #563 on:** September 25, 2019, 01:35:26 PM

My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. I found out she was seeing someone on the side.

pfrsantos · **Reply #564 on:** September 25, 2019, 01:36:32 PM

I recently heard about a mannequin that lost all of his friends. He was too clothes minded.

pfrsantos · **Reply #565 on:** September 25, 2019, 01:38:35 PM

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's okay. He woke up.

pfrsantos · **Reply #566 on:** September 25, 2019, 01:39:11 PM

My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."

pfrsantos · **Reply #567 on:** September 25, 2019, 01:39:27 PM

I've decided to sell my Hoover... it was just collecting dust.

pfrsantos · **Reply #568 on:** September 25, 2019, 01:41:38 PM

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

pfrsantos · **Reply #569 on:** September 25, 2019, 01:42:49 PM

My computer's got the Miley virus. It's stopped twerking.