Multitool.org Forum
+-

Hello Lurker! Remove this ad and much more by logging in.


10th Anniversary Def Roast!

ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

  • Head Turd Polisher
  • Administrator
  • *
  • Just Bananas
  • *
    • Posts: 65,941
  • Optimum instrumentum est inter aures
10th Anniversary Def Roast!
on: July 17, 2016, 03:08:44 AM
It's that time again!

We didn't do it last year, probably because I forgot, but that just means you all have some extra material saved up!

For reference,  see the results of the original Def Roast from our 8th Anniversary here:

http://forum.multitool.org/index.php/topic,53533.0.html

The rules are simple- take your best shot at the Head Turd Polisher and whoever makes me laugh the hardest wins a prize!

What's the prize?  Simple, I'm not so bright, so the winner gets a LED Lenser F1!

https://m.ledlenser.com/uk/flashlights/f1/

Other than that, keep it family friendly (as much as the Needs of Comedy will allow) and I'll pick a winner in a few days. 

Good luck to everyone!

Def
Leave the dents as they are- let your belongings show their scars as proudly as you do yours.


ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

  • Head Turd Polisher
  • Administrator
  • *
  • Just Bananas
  • *
    • Posts: 65,941
  • Optimum instrumentum est inter aures
Re: 10th Anniversary Def Roast!
Reply #1 on: July 17, 2016, 03:14:54 AM
Oh yeah, enter as often as you like....  :pok:

Def
Leave the dents as they are- let your belongings show their scars as proudly as you do yours.


us Offline jerseydevil

  • Admin Team
  • *
  • *
  • Zombie Apprentice
  • *
    • Posts: 10,459
  • Join us! Embrace the Flicky Faith!
Re: 10th Anniversary Def Roast!
Reply #2 on: July 17, 2016, 03:17:38 AM
 :popcorn:
There's no such thing as "Too pretty to carry".  There's only "Too pretty NOT to carry"...... >:D


us Offline ColoSwiss

  • *
  • *
  • Absolutely No Life Club
  • *******
    • Posts: 6,826
Re: 10th Anniversary Def Roast!
Reply #3 on: July 17, 2016, 03:54:51 AM
Def doesn't get any respect. When he was born the doctor slapped him. Then the nurse took a few swings at him.    :whistle:


au Offline Huntsman

  • Global Moderator
  • *
  • No Life Club
  • *
    • Posts: 4,604
Re: 10th Anniversary Def Roast!
Reply #4 on: July 17, 2016, 04:07:37 AM
Def's recent house move cost him twice as much as the average person due to the extra shipping costs of his multitool collection.


us Offline jerseydevil

  • Admin Team
  • *
  • *
  • Zombie Apprentice
  • *
    • Posts: 10,459
  • Join us! Embrace the Flicky Faith!
Re: 10th Anniversary Def Roast!
Reply #5 on: July 17, 2016, 04:28:35 AM
Don't be shy, folks, let him have it! He's Canadian, so he'll apologize to YOU for any offensive comments you make...... ;)
There's no such thing as "Too pretty to carry".  There's only "Too pretty NOT to carry"...... >:D


us Offline Poncho65

  • Global Moderator
  • *
  • Just Bananas
  • *
    • Posts: 86,010
Re: 10th Anniversary Def Roast!
Reply #6 on: July 17, 2016, 05:48:49 AM
I usually have to be on a roll to insult somebody :think: It just comes out without me thinking about it and that way I am just as surprised with what I say as everyone else :D

Will be watching this one and see what comes to me :D


us Offline tattoosteve99

  • *
  • Absolutely No Life Club
  • *******
    • Posts: 6,316
Re: 10th Anniversary Def Roast!
Reply #7 on: July 17, 2016, 06:25:07 AM
We all know he's very strange. Who in their right mind uses a pink kayak? I mean come on, we've seen him in dresses and with girly hair. The kayak proves it. He must be a cross dresser HA!!
If I remember correctly, wait, what was I saying?


us Offline rivercity

  • *
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
    • Posts: 498
Re: 10th Anniversary Def Roast!
Reply #8 on: July 17, 2016, 06:57:51 AM
Don't be shy, folks, let him have it! He's Canadian, so he'll apologize to YOU for any offensive comments you make...... ;)

I don't personally know Def, but if he is Canadian, this roast is in poor taste........ He has already been dealt enough 'hard cheese' in life, just being a canuck... eh?   :facepalm:  :cheers:
Chuck

"Well, when it comes down to me against a situation, I don't like the situation to win." ~ MacGyver


us Offline Outback in Idaho

  • *
  • Absolutely No Life Club
  • *******
    • Posts: 5,318
  • Not all those who wander are lost.
Re: 10th Anniversary Def Roast!
Reply #9 on: July 17, 2016, 08:28:26 AM
 A banana walked into a bar...
¬ Outback in Idaho

Behind every mask there is a face, behind that a story.


us Offline detron

  • *
  • Absolutely No Life Club
  • *******
    • Posts: 7,546
  • Tool Carrying Linux User
Re: 10th Anniversary Def Roast!
Reply #10 on: July 17, 2016, 08:35:28 AM
that is a great prize.

Grant has to get that bright of a light out of his house before Megan uses it to see how funny looking he truly is.



just kidding, love you boss
If I can help, let me know 


ro Offline Corwyn

  • *
  • No Life Club
  • ******
    • Posts: 3,534
Re: 10th Anniversary Def Roast!
Reply #11 on: July 17, 2016, 09:16:03 AM
Not in, as I already won an LLF1 last year (amazing light, by the way, have it in my backpack as we speak). I travelled whole Europe with it.

Just meant to say that in this picture you look like Jesus if he smoked a hemp bag, then got the munchies and ate 10 Happy Meals...

Corwyn of Multitool, the First of His name, King of Victorinox, King of Leatherman, Gerber and the First Generation SOG, Lord of the Seven Wrenches, Protector of the Forum, Khal of the Bushes, called Corwyn Toolborn, the Unsharpened, Father of SAKs.


us Offline Alan K.

  • Thread Killer 2019
  • *
  • Absolutely No Life Club
  • *******
    • Posts: 6,632
Re: 10th Anniversary Def Roast!
Reply #12 on: July 17, 2016, 09:18:25 AM
Grant is known for his kayaking skills.  It's no wonder, since he's been obsessed with the paddle since grade school.


us Offline rdub934

  • No Life Club
  • ******
    • Posts: 1,991
  • Without POL, pilots are pedestrians
Re: 10th Anniversary Def Roast!
Reply #13 on: July 17, 2016, 03:27:10 PM
Not in, as I already won an LLF1 last year (amazing light, by the way, have it in my backpack as we speak). I travelled whole Europe with it.

Just meant to say that in this picture you look like Jesus if he smoked a hemp bag, then got the munchies and ate 10 Happy Meals...

(Image removed from quote.)

Grant looks like he face swapped Melissa McCarthy here :P

My bad - I forgot we are supposed to be roasting Def, not Melissa McCarthy

;)
« Last Edit: July 17, 2016, 04:46:28 PM by rdub934 »
"I wanna introduce you to a very personal friend of mine. This is an M41A pulse rifle. Ten millimeter with over-and-under thirty millimeter pump action grenade launcher." - Cpl Hicks


ca Offline derekmac

  • *
  • Zombie Apprentice
  • ********
    • Posts: 16,702
  • Little to the right...
Re: 10th Anniversary Def Roast!
Reply #14 on: July 17, 2016, 07:54:08 PM
So it took Def an entire year to get over the 8th year roast.  We should probably take it easy him this time around, eh?

 :P

There once was a guy named Grant
Who would often go off on a rant
My kayak's not pick!!
You giddy little dink
Let me rub myself down with this ham

 :think:


ca Offline JP

  • Hero Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 999
Re: 10th Anniversary Def Roast!
Reply #15 on: July 18, 2016, 12:42:10 AM
I just feel bad for Megan. She meets the guy we know as Def out east. Things are fun and then she finds out about MTO and promptly gets a job in Ottawa, which is a good days drive away. Obviously she got scared and ran. As resourceful as Grant is he tracks her down and moves in.

Could you imagine living with a man that has a truckload of multitools and looks like Dave Grohls cousin that has a green thumb for exotic herbs?

Sort of my dream too. Just needed in the lady version


Sent from my XT1563 using Tapatalk



ca Offline Megan

  • Marketing Maven
  • Administrator
  • *
  • No Life Club
  • *
    • Posts: 1,214
  • Does your head look like a watermelon?
Re: 10th Anniversary Def Roast!
Reply #16 on: July 18, 2016, 01:51:42 AM
I just feel bad for Megan. She meets the guy we know as Def out east. Things are fun and then she finds out about MTO and promptly gets a job in Ottawa, which is a good days drive away. Obviously she got scared and ran. As resourceful as Grant is he tracks her down and moves in.

Could you imagine living with a man that has a truckload of multitools and looks like Dave Grohls cousin that has a green thumb for exotic herbs?

Sort of my dream too. Just needed in the lady version


Exotic herbs? Heck no.
I can't even get the man to eat a vegetable!

Seriously guys don't hold back- he can take it.
-Megan
Would you like your review featured on http://Multitool.org? Do you have a suggestion to improve the forum or our sites?
Send me a message.



ca Offline derekmac

  • *
  • Zombie Apprentice
  • ********
    • Posts: 16,702
  • Little to the right...
Re: 10th Anniversary Def Roast!
Reply #17 on: July 18, 2016, 03:08:04 AM
Seriously guys don't hold back- he can take it.
That's what she said!!  :D


au Offline Huntsman

  • Global Moderator
  • *
  • No Life Club
  • *
    • Posts: 4,604
Re: 10th Anniversary Def Roast!
Reply #18 on: July 18, 2016, 04:15:20 AM
This just in from the Ottawa Herald

« Last Edit: July 18, 2016, 04:27:04 AM by Huntsman »


us Offline sLaughterMed

  • *
  • No Life Club
  • ******
    • Posts: 3,450
  • Nothing's typical around here
Re: 10th Anniversary Def Roast!
Reply #19 on: July 18, 2016, 04:22:58 AM
This just in from the Ottawa Herald


:rofl:
Laughter is the best Medicine
Slaughter is just Laughter with an "S"

We are looking for Multitool Encyclopedia Editors! If you are interested, please give me a PM!

The Multitool Encyclopedia Editing for Dummies Page: http://forum.multitool.org/index.php/topic,65751.0.html
Multitool Encyclopedia Suggested Edits Page: http://forum.multitool.org/index.php/topic,65746.0.html


us Offline rdub934

  • No Life Club
  • ******
    • Posts: 1,991
  • Without POL, pilots are pedestrians
Re: 10th Anniversary Def Roast!
Reply #20 on: July 18, 2016, 05:59:42 AM
This just in from the Ottawa Herald



Oooohh man! :rofl: good one :salute:
"I wanna introduce you to a very personal friend of mine. This is an M41A pulse rifle. Ten millimeter with over-and-under thirty millimeter pump action grenade launcher." - Cpl Hicks


us Offline Outback in Idaho

  • *
  • Absolutely No Life Club
  • *******
    • Posts: 5,318
  • Not all those who wander are lost.
Re: 10th Anniversary Def Roast!
Reply #21 on: July 18, 2016, 06:22:47 AM
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”

The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.

“Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”

The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
¬ Outback in Idaho

Behind every mask there is a face, behind that a story.


us Offline Alan K.

  • Thread Killer 2019
  • *
  • Absolutely No Life Club
  • *******
    • Posts: 6,632
Re: 10th Anniversary Def Roast!
Reply #22 on: July 18, 2016, 06:26:24 AM
... and that barber was Def.


us Offline jerseydevil

  • Admin Team
  • *
  • *
  • Zombie Apprentice
  • *
    • Posts: 10,459
  • Join us! Embrace the Flicky Faith!
Re: 10th Anniversary Def Roast!
Reply #23 on: July 18, 2016, 06:37:49 AM
This just in from the Ottawa Herald



That can't possibly be the same Grant Lamontagne. "No physical injury"? :think: Def can't even walk on a sidewalk without requiring screws in his ankle! :P
There's no such thing as "Too pretty to carry".  There's only "Too pretty NOT to carry"...... >:D


us Offline lichan

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
    • Posts: 397
Re: 10th Anniversary Def Roast!
Reply #24 on: July 18, 2016, 07:46:53 AM
Def, zoidberg and jerseydevil were gathered at the punch bowl at the big 10th Anniversary MTO Celebration. Each had taken a glass of the "punch". Jerseydevil was the first to partake and with the benefit of his worldly expertise exclaimed, "Ah, good punch! I believe it's been spiked with some 190-proof Everclear!" Disgusted, zoidberg cast his punch glass in the trash, with a loud "Why, I rather commit adultery with a lady-of-the-evening than drink an alcoholic  beverage!" Quickly Def began pouring his cup back into the punch bowl saying, "I didn't know we got a choice!:"


ca Offline JP

  • Hero Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 999
Re: 10th Anniversary Def Roast!
Reply #25 on: July 18, 2016, 02:46:01 PM
^^ lol

Sent from my XT1563 using Tapatalk



ca Offline JP

  • Hero Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 999
Re: 10th Anniversary Def Roast!
Reply #26 on: July 18, 2016, 02:49:23 PM
What is a " Def " anyways?
Is he a Diefenbaby?


Sent from my XT1563 using Tapatalk



us Offline WoodsDuck

  • No Life Club
  • ******
    • Posts: 1,832
  • Duck!
Re: 10th Anniversary Def Roast!
Reply #27 on: July 18, 2016, 03:07:30 PM
I'm not saying Grant is ugly, but even Spyderco wouldn't put him in their product line  :whistle:


us Offline Vinjints

  • Full Member
  • ***
    • Posts: 116
Re: 10th Anniversary Def Roast!
Reply #28 on: July 18, 2016, 03:39:24 PM
I'm not saying Grant is ugly, but even Spyderco wouldn't put him in their product line  :whistle:

I don't have a joke to share, but can I vote for this one?


pt Offline pfrsantos

  • *
  • Absolute Zombie Club
  • *********
    • Posts: 23,214
  • Oxygen and magnesium toghether?! OMg!
Re: 10th Anniversary Def Roast!
Reply #29 on: July 18, 2016, 04:26:22 PM
I heard someone once asked Bear Grills: "What would you rather do? Shake Grant's hand or drink your own piss?"


Well, we all know the answer to that...

 :facepalm:

________________________________
It is just a matter of time before they add the word “Syndrome” after my last name.

I don't have OCD, I have OCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

Eff the ineffable, scrut the inscrutable.

IYCRTYSWTMTFOT



 

Donations

Operational Funds

Help us keep the Unworkable working!
Donate with PayPal!
April Goal: $300.00
Due Date: Apr 30
Total Receipts: $152.99
PayPal Fees: $8.68
Net Balance: $144.31
Below Goal: $155.69
Site Currency: USD
48% 
April Donations

Community Links


Powered by EzPortal