eBay guy

[Grant Lamontagne]

I know I wasn't around much today, but you guys have GOT to see what I have been up to....  This is funny stuff!

The back story:

I bid on a set of paddles on eBay and won.  No one else bid.  Then, when it came time to pay, I found out the hard way that I could not pay by Paypal.  My bad.  I immediately contacted the seller to explain the situation and asked to have the auction canceled.  No response.  I called the phone number that was on the emails I got.  I spoke to people who worked there, but they insisted they couldn't help me, and I should email the seller.  All told, I emailed four times and phoned California three times.  Apparently the seller went on vacation and wasn't to be back for well over a week.  Feeling like I'd done enough, I let it drop.  Then, a few days ago I get an unpaid strike!  Admittedly, I did not pay for the item, but I had contacted the seller repeatedly with no response.  Surely if he logs in to lodge strikes against people, he must be around to get emails.

Like most folks, I don't like to be pushed so I sent more emails, and made more phone calls to resolve this.  A day later I get a response that says (and I quote- I have all the emails)

Unless you pay for the auction in full we can not remove the strike as you are a non-paying bidder and we need to get the ebay fees refunded.

Fine- now we are talking, and I have a valid reason for his actions.  So, I offer to cover the eBay fees, after all, it can only be a few bucks, right?  Wrong- it's not good enough.  Guy starts trying to hardball me, so I suggest that maybe my feedback will point out that he doesn't bother responding to repeated emails, phone calls etc.  His response:

For a non-paying bidder th at is a strong threat.  We can reciprocate if this is your choice.

Quite frankly, I don't care if he leaves me bad feedback, but as an online business owner myself, I know what it's like to get a bad rep for a misunderstanding.  Still, I try to reason and reconcile.  Bear in mind, that at no point am I rude- years of Security work has taught me to be polite and professional, no matter what.  If anyone doubts this, I can post my messages as well... and I will post my messages shortly when they get interesting- trust me, they get interesting!

After a couple more emails suggesting there may be another way to work this out, and him responding that I absolutely have to send payment ASAP, I decide I have no more room to maneuver so I carefully craft feedback for him to cause maximum impact.  "Unresponsive to numerous emails and phone calls- arbitrarily left Unpaid Strike" which naturally gets his attention.  Not only does he leave bad feedback for me, but he also emails me to tell me he left me bad feedback.  Talk about a guy compensating for something, huh?

So, I send him a response that says "Congratulations.  I am proud of you.  Do you feel like a big boy now?"  The following is the many emails I have traded with him since then.  Good for a laugh, so put down your drink.  For convenience sake, my emails are in bold:


Him:
The correct thing has been done as others need to be warned that you do not follow the posted payment instructions and try to blame the sellers.
 
Bruce

Me:
OK.  I'll post in my blog that you aren't to be dealt with too.  2000 people read it, so have a nice day.
 
And, please don't bother me anymore.  I'm pretty well done with you now.
 
Grant

Be sure to post that you are a non-paying bidder and did not abide by the payment terms and conditions..  Otherwise it is slander.
 
Bruce

Which part of go away now do you not understand?  Would you like me to use smaller words?
 
Or are you just a dink who wants the last word?  If you didn't piss off potential customers, maybe you would have a business to run?
 
Grant

Just want to make sure things are straight and you fully understand what you are threatening.
 
Bruce

Perhaps you noticed I don't threaten things?  As a casual eBayer, I really don't give a rat's ass about one bad feedback.  And, unless you want your lawyer to try an international personal suit, I'd give it up if I were you.  Otherwise, you are just wasting time.
 
By the way, I've spent $1000 in the past couple of weeks on kayak supplies.  If you had pretended to have a personality or some measure of professionalism, you probably would have gotten much of that.  Good idea to mess it up for $5 (if that) worth of eBay fees that I offered to split with you.
 
Great business practices.
 
Def

Funny how you spend day after day contacting us when I am away on vacation but you don't want anything to do with us when I can finally respond to you...
 
Sounds like a typical new ebayer who can't read the simple payment instructions and wants to blame someone else.

Funny me, I assumed when the shipping info said "This seller prefers Paypal" that you'd take Paypal.  Silly me, I didn't realize you were full of smurf.  Oops.
 
How does it feel to get bad feedback for your business over a couple of dollars that I even offered to reimburse you for?
 
Grant

We all know who is really full of it.
 
Simple payment instructions generally work for most people but their is always exceptions....

Yup, you're exceptional all right!
 
Too bad you weren't this communicative when we had business going.  We could have avoided all this. 
 
I tried to work with you, I tried to compensate you for the cost of the auction which you would have paid anyway since no one else bid on the item- one would think if you thought with the head on your shoulders that you would have taken the money and run rather than tried to be an eBay Superhero.
 
Mistakes were made on both sides, and frankly I am having much more fun responding to your emails than I ever would have with the paddles.
 
Grant

If we can't accept PAYPAL for the order how can we accept a paypal payment for the fees??  Doesn't make sense to me.
 
Scenario --- You send UNCONFIRMED $2 paypal payment..  We remove strike as agreed.  You do a dispute on the $2 payment.  We loose the $2 plus get a $15 fee from PAYPAL for your dispute..  Makes a lot of sense to me!  Sorry, we aren't falling for that one again.
 
If someone is on vacation you expect them to respond as quickly as when they are in the office? 

I respond immediatly when on vacation or not.  But then, in my defense, I like my clients.
 
Plus, why would I dispute $2?  Sounds kinda dumb to me, but I guess if you've fallen for that before, then I guess you know all about dumb.
 
By the way, I just bid on one of your auctions with my other eBay account.  Good luck.
 
Grant

If you check your account you can see that we did indeed respond to all e-mails.  Just not 10 times a day like when I am not on vacation.
 
Non-paying bidders need to be called out so that it makes ebay a safer place to do business.
 
Hopefully you plan on completing the next purchase since you know the terms.

I guess we'll find out.  You can put the spandex and cape away, you've foiled another evildoer.
 
And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for your meddling vacation.
 
By the way, give Terri and Denis a raise- they deserve it for pretending to like you on a daily basis.  It's ok, you can take the money out of the vast riches you saved yourself by giving me a non payment strike.
 
Grant

Just an aside here, Terri and Dennis are two of the people I spoke to when I called the company.  Denis was not only polite on the phone, but also in an email he sent me to keep me updated on where Bruce was.  Terri was also very pleasant to deal with- I spoke to her on two different occasions.

No cape needed as we like to play by the rules.  It makes ebay a much better place without the non-paying bidders.

Well you keep reading the rules- I'm gonna go get supper now if that's ok with you.  Any rule violations in that?  I'm thinking about running with scissors you know.
 
You know, with your unbridled righteousness and my underworld connections, we could rule eBay as father and son.  Joooooiiiiiin meeeee...
 
Of course I doubt Mom would approve.
 
Please send me a copy of your theme song.  I bet it's really cool.
 
Grant

Don't want to get off track.  The rules are posted on the site and we follow the rules to make ebay a safer place to do business.  It would be nice to live in a fantasy world such as yours but we choose reality.
 
You had your choices to make and decided to make them.
 
Thanks

First offf, thanks for giving me a little more to work with this time.  The last few one liners were making it a little difficult to respoind properly.
 
But then I suppose getting off track is against the rules too?
 
And, for the record, I chose to try and work out a settlement.  You chose to not respond, and to refuse to deal.  You also chose to get bad feedback, and you chose to continue emailing me after I suggested twice that you may have more important things to do.
 
Given how you treat customers, I guess it's obvious that you don't.
 
Grant

We are just doing our part to reply to all e-mails.. Something you say we don't do.
 
I guess this is why a lot of sellers don't do international sales.

Excellent bit of racism there.  Adds yet another dimension to you.  Also, an interesting excuse.  You've responded to the emails since it blew up in your face, but you still didn't pay much attention to them.
 
Remember, half of communicating is listening.  Admittedly in this case it would be reading, but either way I am certain there's a rule about that somewhere.  But then I guess you really only need to pay attention to the ones that you like?
 
By the way, I noticed it took you a little longer to respond this time, and you've reverted to a couple of lines.  Are you running out of material?  You could probably get some more mileage out of the "eBay is better without you" line.  Maybe you could just write it once in a word processor or something, then copy and paste it?  I can see you are obviously very busy and I'm just trying to help you out. 
 
Take your time.  I have to run an errand anyway, so if you'd like to get some help with the big words, now's the time to do it.
 
Grant

Perfect!!!  Read your second line and this takes us back to the very root of the problem!!  You can't read the basic payment instructions on the auction!!  Thank you for supporting our point exactly!!!
 
Thanks for the help though.  It is much appreciated as we obviously have the problem here.
 
We just want to spend our quality time with the true customers who know how to read and pay for their items correctly.  Hand holding the inexperienced is much more difficult but we are trying to help you understand.

Excellent.  I should give you more time more often.  I'm sorry I rushed you earlier.  You certainly managed to come up with more lines this time.
 
Perhaps I should provide you with a screen shot of the payment section of the auction where it states that you accept Paypal?  Admittedly, you did state other conditions elsewhere in the auction, that I obviously missed, but in the words of one of your own presidents (you have heard of those guys right?) "An error only becomes a mistake when you failr to rectify it."
 
I attempted to rconcile repeatedly, but you seemed bound and determined to not let a simple mistake get by you.  Better to just assume that all foreigners are evil huh?
 
I guess my point is, overall, that a mistake was made, but a professional would have recognized that a potentially legitimate customer should be given the benefit of the doubt, especially when they try to make amends.  I don't know what God you believe in, if any, but Jesus said all kinds of things to that effect.  I'm not much of a Christian, but even I know that "Forgiveness is divine" and Jesus said to forgive your brother as many as seventy seven times.
 
So, to recap, eBay's rules are obviously much more important than the teachings of Jesus and some guys that lived in the White House?
 
I guess sometimes in order to serve the greater good, you really do have to break a few eggs.  Shoot 'em all and let God sort 'em out huh?
 
Excellent excuse for the truly uncivilized.
 
Grant

I swear to any God you like, and on the bad feedback I got as a result of this, that I have copied and pasted this verbatim from the emails.  Poor Inky was laughing so hard as I read him these on the phone he had an athsma attack and a headache.

I'll keep you all informed of any new developments, but in the meantime I suggest you mind your P's and Q's if you want to buy anything from drtomy.

Def

[hawkchucker]

Wow what a tool.... Hey can we spam him to death for ya?

[Grant Lamontagne]

Since he spent so much time sending me emails I assume that means I am one of the "True Customers?"

Def

[NeitherExtreme]

I laughed the whole way through that, and it appears that you got at least some amusement out of that. Good tip on setting the drink down before reading...

[Grant Lamontagne]

Oh hell yeah- It was good fun!

When I get bored with it I'll forward the whole mess to eBay as evidence in a harassment complaint.  I told him a couple of times to stop emailing me and he didn't.  I could block his emails, but where's the fun in that?

 

Def

[prime77]

That was a great read Def, Thanks for sharing it. I especially liked the your comeback line about "ruling ebay as father and son"  Great stuff

[Grant Lamontagne]

If I had any artistic ability whatsoever I would draw a Superhero similar to Homer Simpson's Pieman character and send it to him!



His mighty Feedback dropped my score from 94.6 all the way down to 93% too.  Oh boy, I'll be reeling from that one for years to come.   

I have about 50 Feedbacks over about three years, so you can just imagine what kind of crushing blow this all comes as.  Of course I have a patented Feedback rant that points out how dumb the whole mess is anyways.  Anyone want to hear (read) it?  Kinda funny too I think...

Def

[Anthony]

All this over a *blanking* paddle.  It sounds like he wanted to start trouble right off the bat since he refused to work with you.  Someone bought a knife from me on ebay for almost $100...I specifically said PAYPAL ONLY.  Sure enough the guy that won the knife doesn't have paypal.  I could have shot back with negative feedback and threats, but I talked with him and accepted a money order instead.  Problem solved within 30 minutes of auctions end.  He got the knife I got the money.  He was a nice guy and I was a nice guy.

Some people are just rude and don't understand that a little give and take is neccessary to smooth things along if someone makes a mistake.

Speaking of mistakes, did I read right when you said he actually had Paypal preferred in the auction?  WTF did he put that there if he refuses to use Paypal? 

[Grant Lamontagne]

He just doesn't take Paypal from us dirty foreigners.  US Paypal is fine.

This sounds kind of dumb, because to me, a guy who deals with folks all over the world (we have more countries listed in SOSAK than there is in the UN!), I think Paypal is the best darned thing anyone has ever come up with!

This guy insisted that I send a money order, which to be honest I think I'd rather just set fire to my money here than send it to him.  I have absolutely no protection when I send a money order, especially when I send it over a border, so I only send those to folks I know, or I have no reason to distrust.  A guy like this, who doesn't respond to emails, is unwilling to compromise, starts auctions that end when he knows he'll be on vacation... all of this was one reason on top of another not to trust this guy.

And the cost of the paddle?  The amount he is fighting tooth and nail to try and get?  The amount he actually risked (and got) bad feedback over?


$14.99.

Now you see why he had to start his own business.  Wal Mart refused to hire him.

Def

[Mike, Lord of the Spammers!]

He just doesn't take Paypal from us dirty foreigners.  US Paypal is fine.

This sounds kind of dumb, because to me, a guy who deals with folks all over the world (we have more countries listed in SOSAK than there is in the UN!), I think Paypal is the best darned thing anyone has ever come up with!

This guy insisted that I send a money order, which to be honest I think I'd rather just set fire to my money here than send it to him.  I have absolutely no protection when I send a money order, especially when I send it over a border, so I only send those to folks I know, or I have no reason to distrust.  A guy like this, who doesn't respond to emails, is unwilling to compromise, starts auctions that end when he knows he'll be on vacation... all of this was one reason on top of another not to trust this guy.

And the cost of the paddle?  The amount he is fighting tooth and nail to try and get?  The amount he actually risked (and got) bad feedback over?


$14.99.

Now you see why he had to start his own business.  Wal Mart refused to hire him.

Def

Thanks for making me laugh mate I've ruined the monitor at work as well now

what a loser that guy was all that fuss over a few quid! pathetic! :angry:

trouble with people like that, they make ebay a bad place to do business, and at no point were you in the wrong in my opinion, at least you were willing to pay for his fee's thats a damn sight more than he would have got out of me with that attitude of his!

thank god for people like tim (catman) is all i can say

[Grant Lamontagne]

Yeah, I guess we are pretty spoiled huh?

Still no new messages from him...

Def

[Mike, Lord of the Spammers!]

Yeah, I guess we are pretty spoiled huh?

Still no new messages from him...

Def

Well that's just rude :angry: ;D

[I'm Still Bison]

It's jerks like that that have made me wash my hands of Ebay,except for a few select sellers I'll do repeat business with.I've doing more browsing and a little buying from craigslist.org.Sure,I don't land the super cheap bargains,but it saves me on the aspirin bill.

[Mike, Lord of the Spammers!]

It's jerks like that that have made me wash my hands of Ebay,except for a few select sellers I'll do repeat business with.I've doing more browsing and a little buying from craigslist.org.Sure,I don't land the super cheap bargains,but it saves me on the aspirin bill.

Same here mate, it used to be that if they hade decent feedback you could trust them, but sadly that just aint the case this days

[Grant Lamontagne]

Uh oh, I feel my Feedback Rant coming on....

Def

[Anthony]

I don't know...I go by feedback and their English skills.  The higher the price I'm going to pay, the better their feedback and English skills should be. 

I haven't had any problems yet in the past 7+ years (bought about 150 things in total).

[Grant Lamontagne]

Copying and pasting my eBay rant from another forum... I'm too lazy to rewrite it!

I see eBay as a necessary evil for any collector.

The one thing that really bugs the smurf out of me is the Feedback.  I purchase something, I pay, seller sends it, I get it, am content with it and all of a sudden it's fireworks?

A++++++ GREAT SELLER I'D HUMP HIS CAT I AM SO HAPPY!!!!

Imagine if all the transactions in your life were like that.  You stop by a convenience store for a pack of smokes, you give Abdulla ten bucks, he hands you a pack of smokes and your change, at which point you have to rave on about how smurfing awesome it was to every person in the store, then run into the street screaming his name like he just brought you to the best orgasm in the world.

Truth be told, I think any smooth transaction should get a neutral feedback.  If something goes wrong and the seller goes out of his way to fix or improve it, he gets positive feedback, and if he's a scumbag... well that's what negatives are for.

The way it is now, everyone is terrified of negative feedback, so they give positive even when it's not warranted to keep from getting "dinged" themselves, because if they have a thousand positive, folks will fixate on that one neg.

Dumb, useless system that makes otherwise sane, intelligent people act like king sized dinks.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to take off my pants and buy some smokes....

Enjoy!

Def

[Anthony]

haha...I think most people are so releived everything went smoothy, they get over excited and gush when feedback time comes.

I usually just say something like "Good ebay, fast shipping"  or "Good ebayer, everything arrived safely".

[Grant Lamontagne]

OH MY GOD I GOT GUM!      THIS IS THE MOST FANTASTIC GUM I EVER GOT AND AT SUCH A GREAT PRICE I MAY PEE MYSELF!!

 

Def

[Papacat]

OH MY GOD I GOT GUM!      THIS IS THE MOST FANTASTIC GUM I EVER GOT AND AT SUCH A GREAT PRICE I MAY PEE MYSELF!!

Too late for me.  

As far as feedback ratings go: Who would you trust more, a seller with a hundred percent positive feedback or one with a few negative responses on their feedback?

[Grant Lamontagne]

I doubt I would trust either- the one with 100% may be full of it, the one with a few bad feedbacks may just have had some idiot customers. 

Even Felinevet has a negative or two hidden away somewhere, and he's the best guy in the world to deal with.

Def

[Anthony]

You also have to take into account the sometimes faulty postal system...

[Grant Lamontagne]

There are always going to be conflicts.  I won't tell you who, but a good friend of mine in California who happened to specialize in odds and ends (not Felinevet!) had a customer who bought a $2 part, with FREE SHIPPING and lodged a complaint because it wasn't sent next day.  The guy lived on the east coast somewhere- I think NJ or NY or something.  I looked into the problem and sent the guy an email asking him to "refrain from such twittery in the future."

Def

[Mike, Lord of the Spammers!]

There are always going to be conflicts.  I won't tell you who, but a good friend of mine in California who happened to specialize in odds and ends (not Felinevet!) had a customer who bought a $2 part, with FREE SHIPPING and lodged a complaint because it wasn't sent next day.  The guy lived on the east coast somewhere- I think NJ or NY or something.  I looked into the problem and sent the guy an email asking him to "refrain from such twittery in the future."

Def

there are some blooming unreasonable people out there, but i guess thats the problem with our modern 24 hour society, we all expect everything 3 minutes from now

[Grant Lamontagne]

Don't you mean three minutes ago?

Of course I guess I can't really complain seeing as how I am a NON PAYING BIDDER..... 

Def

[trickknife]

I just read through the original post.  I was laughing so hard I almost.. well never mind.  My pants are still unsoiled.  It was flippin funny as hell.  I had a similar incident last year on ebay, but I didn't have your flair Def.  Next time I'm in a pinch for some witty reparte' I'll give you a call.

btw... I think foreign paypal payments have an accent, so it makes it harder to do the coversion  (especially the french ones).

Rick

[Grant Lamontagne]

I'm glad you got a kick out of it...  I was having a good old time myself and I can only wonder what the guy was thinking on the other end as he wrote back so many times.

Of course I haven't heard from him since the last email I sent him, so I am thinking of leaving more bad feedback since he didn't answer again after making a point of saying he always does.

I've always had a bit of a smart mouth... gotten me into much trouble over the years too, but had some seriously funny incidents as a result.  Fresh out of school I got a job with the world's largest security company as a communications officer- low level management position, but pretty darned good for a 21 year old kid.  A few months after I was hired, this girl was brought in to replace the guy who trained me, who had died of a heart attack.  The girl was a completely useless back stabbing b*tch, so of course rumors abounded about how she got the job.  Somehow, these rumors got attributed to me, and my boss pulled me aside one day to discuss it.  As he was about halfway through the accusation I cut him off and said "Come on Mike, you know me better than that.  Your affair with Laurie is none of my concern."  Then I got up and walked out before he had a chance to figure out what I'd just said to him!   

Then there was the time I was getting ready to light the barbeque and I was spraying a liberal amount of lighter fluid on the coals.  I stopped at a sane amount, and a friend of mine who was there pointed out that her father used to dump half the bottle on there before lighting it.  Before I could stop myself I pointed out that her father was no longer with us! 

So yes, should you ever need a good quip to shut someone up and/or put them in their place, by all means send me a note... but be warned, it may result in a good old fashioned arse kicking!   :grin:

Def

[trickknife]

Gol blimey...stone the crows.  Sorted mate.

Arr...I'll take you up on that...Maybe I should keep my phone on (with earpiece), with you on the line when I'm talking to my mother-in-law... ;D If I get smacked though, I'll know you came through for me.

Rick

[Grant Lamontagne]

Mother in laws are very touchy... I know whatever I say to the cow is repaid tenfold on my wife when I am not around.  Then my wife refuses to let me take it to the next level and really chew the cow out.

Mother in laws should be illegal.  Part of me wants to divorce my wife so I can have the pleasure of tearing the cow a new one!

Def

[trickknife]

Wow.  You got in bad for "the cow".  Well hopefully it won't become necessary.  Things are fine right now.  And like I tell my kids, It's not good to poke a sleeping bear.   

Rick