Great Opportunity!

[Whoey]

today's opportunity sounds legit!

We regret to inform you, yet we no longer need require your services.
Attached you can find additional information and the payout roll for the last month.

so glad I've been fired by email from a job I obviously never got paid for. 

[ducttapetech]

today's opportunity sounds legit!

We regret to inform you, yet we no longer need require your services.
Attached you can find additional information and the payout roll for the last month.

so glad I've been fired by email from a job I obviously never got paid for. 

So can you still collect unemployment then?
Kinda weird to get fired from a job that you never worked.

That's us mobile

[Etherealicer]

today's opportunity sounds legit!

We regret to inform you, yet we no longer need require your services.
Attached you can find additional information and the payout roll for the last month.

so glad I've been fired by email from a job I obviously never got paid for. 

So can you still collect unemployment then?
Kinda weird to get fired from a job that you never worked.

That's us mobile

This is my favorite kind...

it only works on people who are greedy, hoping they can get money they know, they don't deserve

[Whoey]

today's opportunity sounds legit!

We regret to inform you, yet we no longer need require your services.
Attached you can find additional information and the payout roll for the last month.

so glad I've been fired by email from a job I obviously never got paid for. 

So can you still collect unemployment then?
Kinda weird to get fired from a job that you never worked.

That's us mobile

I don't think I have enough time not working at a job that didn't pay to collect unemployment.

Maybe I should take it to the EU courts and force them to pay me severance.

[Grant Lamontagne]

This is starting to sound like a "Not Raising Hogs" kind of thing! 

In case anyone doesn't know what I'm talking about....

TO: Honorable Secretary of Agriculture
Washington, D.C
 
Dear Sir,
 
 I have been evacuated from New Orleans because the flood took my old trailer and beat up car. I thought I might go into business to supplement my welfare check.
 
 My friend over at Wells, Iowa received a check for $1,000 from the Government for not raising hogs.  Right now I'm getting extra help from the government and Red Cross while I'm displaced but when that stops I want to go into the "not-raising-hogs" business.
 
 What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the  best kind of farm not to raise hogs on, and what is  the best breed of hogs not to raise? I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keeping with  all governmental policies. I would prefer not to raise razorbacks, but if that is not a good breed  not to raise, then I will just as gladly not raise Yorkshires or Durocs.  As I see it, the hardest part of this program will be in keeping an accurate inventory of how many hogs I haven't raised.
 
 My friend, Peterson, is very joyful about the future of the business. He has been raising hogs for twenty years or so, and the best he ever made on them was $422 in 1968, until this year when he got your check for $1000 for not raising hogs. If I get $1000 for not raising 50 hogs, will I get $2000 for not raising 100 hogs? I plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding myself down to about 4000 hogs not raised, which will mean about $80,000 the first year. Then I can afford an airplane.
 
 Now another thing, these hogs I will not raise will  not eat 100,000 bushels of corn. I understand that  you also pay farmers for not raising corn and wheat.  Will I qualify for payments for not raising wheat and corn not to feed the 4000 hogs I am not going to raise?
 
 Also, I am considering the "not milking cows" business, so send me any information you have on that too. In view of these circumstances, you understand that I will be totally unemployed and plan to file for unemployment and food stamps.
 
 Be assured you will have my vote in the coming election.
 
Patriotically Yours,
Ima Taker
 
PS. please notify me when you are giving out more free cheese.


Def

[ducttapetech]

LMAO!

That's us mobile

[Grant Lamontagne]

I've been not raising hogs for years..... where's my cheque?

Def

[Grant Lamontagne]

Man, I am getting all kinds of great offers right now!  I must be amazing at whatever it is I do!

Hi ,
  My name is  Alex Tabara , I work as a senior official in a  big  international firm , I  successfully pulled a huge "insider trading" deal  without  leakage . 
 I am looking for investment opportunities or fund safe keeping in your country where I can invest or secure the money I made from the deal .
 I need your help in moving out the money from where  it is stashed to your base and investing it wisely for our  joint benefit , you will be handsomely rewarded .
 We will discuss more if you can perfectly carry out this  task .

Thanks,
Alex

I might be willing to cut one or two of you in on this one if you like?   

Def

[ducttapetech]

Man, I am getting all kinds of great offers right now!  I must be amazing at whatever it is I do!

Hi ,
  My name is  Alex Tabara , I work as a senior official in a  big  international firm , I  successfully pulled a huge "insider trading" deal  without  leakage . 
 I am looking for investment opportunities or fund safe keeping in your country where I can invest or secure the money I made from the deal .
 I need your help in moving out the money from where  it is stashed to your base and investing it wisely for our  joint benefit , you will be handsomely rewarded .
 We will discuss more if you can perfectly carry out this  task .

Thanks,
Alex

I might be willing to cut one or two of you in on this one if you like?   

Def

I'm in!

That's us mobile

[zoidberg]

Man, I am getting all kinds of great offers right now!  I must be amazing at whatever it is I do!

Hi ,
  My name is  Alex Tabara , I work as a senior official in a  big  international firm , I  successfully pulled a huge "insider trading" deal  without  leakage . 
 I am looking for investment opportunities or fund safe keeping in your country where I can invest or secure the money I made from the deal .
 I need your help in moving out the money from where  it is stashed to your base and investing it wisely for our  joint benefit , you will be handsomely rewarded .
 We will discuss more if you can perfectly carry out this  task .

Thanks,
Alex

I might be willing to cut one or two of you in on this one if you like?   

Def

I'm in!

That's us mobile

Sounds legit, count me in. Without leakage has to be good right?

[Grant Lamontagne]

I'm always a fan of "without leakage."

Def

[derekmac]

I just checked with the Nigerian widow that I've been helping, and she seems to think this might be a scam.

[dks]

All I get is Russian woken offering their services and scientist's offering enlargement services.

I have no need for the latter.

[zoidberg]

All I get is Russian woken offering their services and scientist's offering enlargement services.

I have no need for the latter.

A Russian woken?      Is that safe?

[dks]

Its a code word we players use for women. You are too young, sweet and pure to understand

[zoidberg]

Is there a dummies guide to playing?

[ducttapetech]

Yeah, I think DKS wrote it.

That's us mobile

[zoidberg]

If he did it would probably be all pics.

[ducttapetech]

If he did it would probably be all pics.

Less reading that way.

That's us mobile

[Grant Lamontagne]

And very few of them would be family friendly!

Def

[ducttapetech]

Sounds like my kind of book!
And if you not careful, it could cause a family.
That's us mobile

[dks]

Anybody who wants to become a millionaire (billionaire in Grant's case ) should invest in my book as it will be a money making machine when it gets published.
To become a millionaire just sent me €19999,99 and you will get preferential investor shares AND a signed extract from my book.
For only €1999 more you can reserve the book now and be the first of your friends to get all the naughty action.
For this you need a doctor's certificate, certifying that your body can handle all the female attention. For the certificate send €999 to me and I will get you in touch with speSmurfpillsts in your area.
A free sensual picture of an MTO member will be sent to the 1st 100 share applicants.
And remember, a percentage of the profits will be given to an MTO member or members, helping the forum. A gold LM tread will be offered by our sponsors to anybody investing over €999999999999,99

[derekmac]

Anybody who wants to become a millionaire (billionaire in Grant's case ) should invest in my book as it will be a money making machine when it gets published.
To become a millionaire just sent me €19999,99 and you will get preferential investor shares AND a signed extract from my book.
For only €1999 more you can reserve the book now and be the first of your friends to get all the naughty action.
For this you need a doctor's certificate, certifying that your body can handle all the female attention. For the certificate send €999 to me and I will get you in touch with speSmurfpillsts in your area.
A free sensual picture of an MTO member will be sent to the 1st 100 share applicants.
And remember, a percentage of the profits will be given to an MTO member or members, helping the forum. A gold LM tread will be offered by our sponsors to anybody investing over €999999999999,99

Is the rumor true that Grant will hand deliver the first 5 books wearing a dress?

[dks]

If it encourages you to sent me money, then, yes, he can even come in a bikini, if you like...

[derekmac]

If it encourages you to sent me money, then, yes, he can even come in a bikini, if you like...

Oh awesome, I'll let Monrogue know since he was wondering.

[zoidberg]

 

[Grant Lamontagne]

I hope this comatose patient in Burkina Faso isn't related to any of our members here?   

Hello Dear,

Greetings and hope this email finds you well?

I am Dr. Wilfred Kabore, the  chief Medical consultant at a reputable clinic here in Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso and I have a Patient who hails from the Republic of philippines but unfortunately is in coma right now due to complications from a Cancer disease and she has the sum of $4.7 Million United States (Four Million seven Hundred
Thousand) Dollars she wants me to guide you on, so that her Bank can transfer it to you for charity purposes.

Please, I will like you to contact me for further details as this is a very sensitive issue that needs urgent attention from you.

Best Regards,

Dr. Wilfred Kabore on behalf of
Mrs. Sismer Shirley Acojedo

If so, I guess your inheritance is going out the window.... 

Def

[ColoSwiss]

Here's a 'do-it-yourself' manual, 'The Big Con'.  The movie 'The Sting' was based on this.

http://www.amazon.com/Big-Con-Story-Confidence-Man/dp/0385495382/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1462999512&sr=1-1&keywords=the+big+con+the+story+of+the+confidence+man

[Whoey]

wow! today I got 2 emails from Michelle Obama offering me bank check drafts. 

[Grant Lamontagne]

At the risk of inciting a political discussion, those might be legit. ....

 

Def