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Jokes for my work group

ca Online Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #360 on: June 24, 2025, 12:22:11 PM
Gooooooood morning everyone!

It's going to be a hot one today, so be prepared with lots of water, sunscreen and anything else you need to get through it safely! 

Personally I am going to find an air conditioned pub and spend the day there! 

But seriously, I read a study the other day that cautions against brushing your teeth with your left hand.  Four out of five dentists recommend using a toothbrush instead.

Have a great day everyone!

Def
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us Online Barry Rowland

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #361 on: June 24, 2025, 01:05:26 PM
 :like: :like: :rofl:
Barry


ca Online Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #362 on: June 25, 2025, 12:17:44 PM
Good morning everyone!

I have some thoughts for you to ponder while we are all baking away in the heat:

1- why is no one ever at the right level of whelm?

2- do you think people who have photographic memories are born like that or do they have to develop it?

That last one may be a bit beyond some of our younger staff members, but trust me, it's hilarious.

Have a great day everyone!

Def
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us Online Barry Rowland

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #363 on: June 25, 2025, 01:18:38 PM
 :rofl: :rofl:
Barry


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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #364 on: June 25, 2025, 04:34:30 PM
I went to get a HAIR CUT today,
And after several moments of sitting in the chair I asked, “what is taking so long?”

The barber replied, “I just can not decide which one to cut!”
If I start and end the day above ground, it is a good day!

Hope yours is as good!

A SMART man always knows what to say!
   A WISE man knows whether or not to say it!!!


us Online Barry Rowland

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #365 on: June 25, 2025, 05:53:26 PM
 :rofl:
Barry


ca Online Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #366 on: June 26, 2025, 12:39:31 PM
Good morning everyone!

I've been doing some investments lately and I was told when I started that the only way to beat inflation was to buy inflatables, so I sold my house and bought a bouncy castle.

Everything seemed like it was going well until it got punctured and now I live in a flat.

Have a great day everyone!

Def
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us Online Barry Rowland

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #367 on: June 26, 2025, 01:52:01 PM
 :rofl: :rofl:
Barry


ca Online Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #368 on: June 27, 2025, 12:12:55 PM
Good morning everyone!

Once again I was trying to make some extra cash by working a second job.  This time I was designing movie sets until they fired me.

They made me leave before I could make a scene.

But while I was there I earned the nickname "Computer" which I was pretty proud of since I assumed they thought I was smart.  It turns out they called me that because I fell asleep after being left alone for five minutes.

I hope you all have a great long weekend!

Def
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us Online Barry Rowland

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #369 on: June 27, 2025, 01:50:25 PM
 :rofl: Have a great Friday Def!
Barry


ca Online Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #370 on: June 27, 2025, 11:24:54 PM
It will be a great weekend for me- Canada Day just happens to Fall on Tuesday this year so I've taken Monday off as well.

Four day weekend!

Def
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fi Online Antti Lammi

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #371 on: June 28, 2025, 09:17:30 AM
Long weekends are best, you can actually rest during that time


ca Online Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #372 on: June 28, 2025, 11:39:17 AM
That is the hope, although I doubt very much it will happen.

Def
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us Online Barry Rowland

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #373 on: June 28, 2025, 03:49:29 PM
Have fun Def, 4 day weekends are great no matter what!
Barry


ca Online Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #374 on: June 30, 2025, 04:24:40 PM
Since some of my coworkers are working today, even though there is nothing to do (the contractors are shut down today) I have sent a joke anyway:

Okay, well for those who are stuck at work on the office counting holes in the ceiling tiles, or whatever other essential functions you are doing, here is today's joke:

What's the difference between me and Superman?

Superman has super vision and I require supervision!

Have a great day everyone, whether you are working or not!

Def
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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #375 on: June 30, 2025, 05:17:45 PM
 :cheers: Def!!
Barry


ca Online Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #376 on: July 02, 2025, 12:45:55 PM
Good morning all!

From now on I am going to start wearing a stethoscope around my neck everywhere I go.  That way, if there is an emergency anywhere I can teach people a valuable lesson about making assumptions.

Have a great day everyone!

Def
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us Online Barry Rowland

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #377 on: July 02, 2025, 01:04:08 PM
Thanks Def!!  :rofl:
Barry


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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #378 on: July 03, 2025, 03:08:28 PM
Good morning everyone!

I dropped the ball and completely forgot to send a joke earlier so I'm going to do it now. I apologize for the inconvenience and I will be refunding each of you for the cost of this entire week's subscription rate.

We've been traveling around a fair bit lately, and most of the time we take our little dog with us.  Shortly after getting home the other day Megan asked me if I'd seen the dog bowl.

I mean, I don't know how he'd even hold the ball.

Have a great day everyone- I'm off tomorrow so it will be up to one of you to supply the Friday joke!

Def
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us Online Barry Rowland

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #379 on: July 03, 2025, 03:22:17 PM
 :rofl: :rofl:
Barry


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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #380 on: July 04, 2025, 06:00:50 PM
Last week I took one of those economy class flights with Ryan Air. After we took off, the flight attendant came by and asked me:

"Will you be having the in flight meal?"

"What are the options?", I asked.

"Yes or no."

________________________________
It is just a matter of time before they add the word “Syndrome” after my last name.

I don't have OCD, I have OCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

Eff the ineffable, scrut the inscrutable.

IYCRTYSWTMTFOT



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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #381 on: July 04, 2025, 06:48:26 PM
 :rofl: :facepalm:
If I start and end the day above ground, it is a good day!

Hope yours is as good!

A SMART man always knows what to say!
   A WISE man knows whether or not to say it!!!


us Online Barry Rowland

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #382 on: July 04, 2025, 09:04:12 PM
 :rofl:
Barry


ca Online Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #383 on: July 05, 2025, 12:02:11 AM
Good one Paulo!   :D

Def
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ca Online Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #384 on: July 07, 2025, 12:30:58 PM
Good morning everyone- and happy Monday!

On a day like today I like to think back on how great my grandfather was.  It was on a day just like this that he uttered his last words, which will always be with me to the end of my days.  I can still hear his voice saying "stop shaking the ladder you little...."

Have a great day everyone!

Def
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us Online Barry Rowland

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #385 on: July 07, 2025, 02:46:22 PM
 :rofl: :like:
Barry


ca Online Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #386 on: July 07, 2025, 11:55:10 PM
This one isn't good for my work group because I don't know if my international staff will get it, but I'm sure most of you will.

Did you hear that Elton John bought his pet rabbit a treadmill?

It's a little fit bunny.

Def
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us Online Barry Rowland

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #387 on: July 08, 2025, 01:19:26 AM
 :D :like:
Barry


ca Online Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #388 on: July 08, 2025, 01:03:36 PM
Good morning everyone!

When I was little my parents would feed me alphabet soup.  They said that it was my favorite meal.

I think they were just putting words in my mouth.

Have a great day everyone!

Def
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fi Online Antti Lammi

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #389 on: July 08, 2025, 01:11:39 PM
 :rofl:


 

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