Need help with difficult life decision :(

[MGill]

Hey folks,

My heart is heavy as I write this. My dog aka my best friend, was apparently struck by a car 2 days ago. He seems to be ok other than a severely dislocated right front elbow, and some broken teeth.  Our vet had originally told us that he could pop it back in place and he would be back to normal in no time. After being in his office for two days he called me and informed me that due to torn ligaments the elbow will not stay in place without surgery. I trust our vet completely he is a good man. It's just with the extent of my dogs injuries it is more than he can handle. I called the surgeon he referred is to, who is in another town about an hour away, and he informed me that there was a 60% chance he may not even be able to fix it, with a price tag of $3000.

So here is where we are now. I am at a crossroads here. The $3000 surgery is doable financially. But only if we dip heavily into our savings, or put it on our credit card. I promise I am not just being a tight wad but 3 grand will stretch my family very very thin. Especially on a surgery that may or may not work.

My only other options are to either have the leg amputated, which I don't think is particularly fair. Or to put him down which would devastate my whole family. Especially my little girl.

I am so lost I don't know what to do. He is a registered black lab and an excellent retriever. Retrieving is his whole life he loves it so much. And if we take his leg I feel like retrieving wouldn't be an option for him. The surgery is almost out of the question financially. If there was more of a hope that the surgery would be successful I would be more apt to go through with it. But with a 60% chance that it won't even work. I just don't see how we can do it.

What would you do if it were your dog? I feel like my heart is being ripped out and I need some advice. My daughter made him a get well card today. And this picture didn't help my decision making at all.

So please help me figure out what is best for our buddy and my family. Thank you guys.


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[jerseydevil]

   I'm sorry to read this.  I've had to put down two dogs, and both were devastating to me.  I will say though that a friend adopted a three-legged dog, who had a good long life.  His name was Tripod.    It really sucks when things like this come across your plate.  Best of luck in making your decision. 

[jzmtl]

I'll be the necessary evil here.

Given how much strain that cost of surgery would put on your family (going into debt on your card, which isn't cheap!), and consider the fact there's a good chance that money will go down the drain, it seems to me amputation would be the best option. As much as I love animals, I don't think they should put above the wellness of your (human) family.

You shouldn't try to imagine a dog's position from a human perspective, while we may suffer from psychological barriers after amputation, a dog's brain isn't complex enough to do that. As long as he is still with his pack (i.e. your family) who continue to lovs him, there shouldn't be any major difference to him. And as jerseydevil said, there are lot of dogs/cats/turtles who are missing a leg but continue to live a happy life.

[MadPlumbarian]

Oh I know that feeling man, I just had to put our dog down last year and were still feeling it! But when I was younger we had a dog(golden retriever) who was hit by a car, sounds pretty much what yours is going through, it(left front) popped and wasn't able to be popped back in, well they didn't do anything, didn't even amputate it, it was just a dangling, useless leg! But he didn't care, he would run with his three legs, sometimes pick up the useless leg in his mouth and then run, he had a blast but then they had him put down due to other medical problems. I'd say age has a big part in your situation, if he's still young then I would just have it amp, but if he's older and has had a good life then I'd hate to say it but time for something else,, sorry to hear about him, I hope everything turns out ok, let us know how everything turns out! JR

[nate j]

Another vote for amputation, provided the dog is otherwise healthy and reasonably young.  I wouldn't be too quick to assume he will be unable to retrieve after the amputation, either.  Check this out...

[sir_mike]

That is a hard choice to make! 

How old is the dog?  The reason why I ask this it to find out if you do put up that money will you, the family and the dog benefit from it for years to come!  That is a decision my wife and I had to make about 4-5 years ago with one of our labs.

His knee went out, cost around $1400 for the surgery and he was about 7 years at the time and figured he would be around for a few more years anyway so we went ahead and did it, then while his knee was rehab-ing and not even a month or two into it, the other knee when out so we put up that amount again and had the other knee operated on.  Once thru rehab (at home) his was alittle slower but basically back to new.  We enjoyed about 4 more years with him until disc's went out in his back this past year, which made him motionless with the back half of his body.  He couldnt walk, go outside to potty, get up/down from couch and bed like he used to (yeah, he slept on our bed and layed on the couch - very spoiled as were the other two labs we had).  So I took him in to our vet whom said surgery could possibly repair it but no guarantee based on age, size, etc. and the fact that his knees were showing some wear again as in moving alot slower over the past 6 months so we decided that we had no choice because financially it was alot more than we could go, I mean alot more!  So we had to make the decision to put him down and we didnt want him to suffer either.  It is a very hard decision to make.  Just about a year prior to that, we had to make a very tough decision regarding one of our other labs who was also about 11 years old when he became ill so we lost two in two years back to back.

I will say that one thing that got us thru all of this was the family and because we still have one more lab around.  He is now about 8 years old and we enjoy him every day and miss the other two every day!

Prayers are with you and the family! 

P.S.  I have seen a few three legged ones that seemed very happy and still run around!

[MGill]

Thank you guys that's very encouraging. He just turned 3 in March so he is still fairly young. Amputation my be a viable option. My wife is more dead set against it than I am. She feels very strongly that taking his leg would be cruel. But I am sort of on the fence. If he would still be able to get around ok I wouldn't have a problem with it.


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[PTRSAK]

I've met a couple of tripod dogs over the years and they all were happy vigorous dogs. Being a youngster he will probably adapt fairly easily. To me is the lesser of several bad choices.

Just my 2 cents.

[Aloha]

Dog lover and owner here.  If it were me and my little guy still had plenty of life left in him then 3 legged he'd be.  All the best to you and whatever decision you have to make.  Keep in mind dogs are pretty resilient and 3 legs for an good ole boy like that aint gonna slow him down much.   

[gregozedobe]

Another dog lover and (multiple) dog owner.

My suggestion is to try and think about how you will feel in 2 -3 years time.

If you don't have the surgery will you always hate yourself and be beating yourself up for not trying it ?  But if you do and it puts great financial strain on you and your family will you regret doing it ? (especially if it isn't successful).  Only you and your wife can answer these questions, but try and discuss it as candidly as possible.

Don't dismiss the amputation option.  Dog's are very accepting of whatever life throws at them (much better than humans in that respect).  If a dog is kept fit and lean (very important for a 3 legged dog) then he will adapt surprisingly well.  I know a 3 legged dog that competed at dog agility, so losing a leg doesn't mean a dog is suddenly confined to the couch.

Think about it and make the decision, but don't beat your self up over it later.

Thank you for loving your dog 

[captain spaulding]

As others have said if he is a young dog (which he is) and in good health besides his current condition amputation is a very viable option if the price is right. How much would the amputation cost? I would steer clear of the surgery as the financial unknown could lead to much worse problems than losing your dog.

I recently had to decide weather I was going to do surgery on my dog or not. Wasn't much of a decision as I did not have anywhere near the amount of money needed. Your dogs condition is much more immediate though. I would get a quote on the amputation and decide between that and putting him down.

I just think what if you spend $3000 on the surgery and it does not work. Then you are going to have to shell out more money (that you don't have) to decide what you are going to do next. Is it worth going into debt?

It is a very tough decision, but sometimes financial inabilities make your decision for you. Just earlier today I had to deny my dog the proper treatment for her ear infection as I don't have the money to do the whole treatment plan. It breaks my heart, but I can't go into debt.

I know this sounds insensitive, but at the end of the day the family pet is just that, a pet. If the financial burden is going to have a significant affect on your wife and kids then you have to go the route that makes financial sense. I know the family pet is part of the family, but again, if your kids needs will not be met due to the financial burden then the choice is easy in my opinion.

Whatever you decide to do please keep us updated. We consider ourselves a family around here so we like to support each other. 

[MGill]

Thank y'all so much for the kindness and support. I am not sure how much the amputation will cost. But as I said earlier our vet is awesome and he would work with us on whatever we needed to do. If the surgery to repair was something that he could tackle, then we would definitely be going through with it.

As I sit here and think about it, the amputation may be the best choice. You guys are right just because a dog looses a limb doesn't mean life is over.

My daughter loves this dog as much as any human has ever loved an animal. I know that if it were up to her she would vote for the amputation.

My son is just now starting to run up to him and say "Cash fetch." (Cash is the dogs name.) So if my son was old enough to understand what was going on I believe he would vote to amputate also.

My wife is the one I am worried about. I know that in the big picture of things she has my back, she trusts me, and she trusts my decision making ability. She is just devastated about the whole thing. We already have so much invested in him (financially and emotionally). We just hate that this has happened to such an amazing dog. This whole ordeal has been so taxing on our emotions it's been a roller coaster ride since Tuesday evening. I think she is just worn out. I called her earlier before she went to bed and she told me she just wanted me to do whatever I thought was best and to just not ever mention his name again. I feel so sorry for her. This is breaking my heart but it's especially tough on her. This dog is her protector when I'm working night shifts. They are really really close.

I think in the morning when I get off I am going to call the vet again and try to decide exactly what's best for everyone. Thank you guys again for your kind words and encouragement. Thank you for thinking of my family. It means a lot, really!!!


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[captain spaulding]

It seems that you are spot on in your decision making and I am sure you will make the decision that best suits cash as well as you and your family. It will be a tough decision no matter what road you go down. It is also very tough making such a heavy decision in such a short period of time. Keep us informed. 

[Taxi Dad]

tough choices there sir, there definitely seems to be a general opinion (which I tend to agree with) that Amputation is probably the best option. all be it the best of a very bad bunch.
we had a similar thing with a poorly cat a few weeks back. he had an internal blockage which was nobodys fault but clearly painful. wifey and youngest daughter (17 yearold and owner of the beast) both shed loads of tears while we worked out a 'plan' ! we've gone into debt, which isn't as bad as yours would be, but we only had 2 choices ~ operation + a few days recovering in vets V "having one less cat in the house."
good luck with your choice, there is no ''Wrong'' or ''Right'' do what is right for your family (all of them) and make piece with it in your heart.
I'd be thinking, if I was in your place  "can you love and care for a 3 legged dog ? if so I'm sure he could love you AND be happy for many years"

*my prayers are with you (and I'm not a religious type)

[kkokkolis]

Amputated dogs can survive with your love and care. They don't suffer from pain that might be the result of an unsuccessful operation. I hope the best.

[Taxi Dad]

 know I'm a 'bad person' 
but am I the only one who's spotted the 'irony' in the dogs name ? 

[MGill]

know I'm a 'bad person' 
but am I the only one who's spotted the 'irony' in the dogs name ? 

Hahahahaha thank you I needed that. Although when we named him Cash it was more like Johnny Cash. However he has done nothing but cost us a ton of money since day one. We joke about the irony all the time. One day we left him at home alone and I guess he panicked and decided to eat ever blind off of every window in the house. Apparently he has desperation anxiety. Lesson learned.


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[Taxi Dad]

I'm soooo glad you didn't take offence  (none was meant, I realise not everyone sees bad times as the time for humour. my wife often says that if I was in a life-raft the other survivors would probably eat me first)

[sawman]

My sincerest sympathies regarding your dog but another vote here for amputation. He would still be able to maneuver around and save your life savings in the process. I'm not easily putting a price on a pet, I'd spend any amount of money to save one of mine, but if amputation were an option, I think that's what I would choose for my own.

I hope this helps and I hope you are able to come to a decision as a family...

[derekmac]

Really sorry to here this!  Also having a young family like you, I also know how hard it would be to part with that amount of money, especially when there's no guarantee.  I'm also a vote for amputation.  I've seen three legged Labs, and they can run, play and just about keep up with any other 4 legged one.

At his young age, he should recover quickly, and adapt quickly as well.

[ducttapetech]

Sorry about your dog. I am in agreement witheveryone here. He is young and will recover just fine. Best of luck.

live from Nate's mobile

[Grant Lamontagne]

Loss of limb is less detrimental to animals than it is to people so he should be fine.  I know this is something that Tim has told me about many times.  It's a harder decision and adjustment for the people than the dog.

I'm sorry to hear this has happened. It's really upsetting I know. I haven't had to deal with amputation myself, but I have dealt with a number of other injuries over the years. It's hard, but in a lot of cases we are making it harder than it needs to be.  Your dog will adjust quickly and be the same dog he was afterwards and never give his missing limb another thought.

Def

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[MadPlumbarian]

Loss of limb is less detrimental to animals than it is to people so he should be fine.  I know this is something that Tim has told me about many times.  It's a harder decision and adjustment for the people than the dog.

I'm sorry to hear this has happened. It's really upsetting I know. I haven't had to deal with amputation myself, but I have dealt with a number of other injuries over the years. It's hard, but in a lot of cases we are making it harder than it needs to be.  Your dog will adjust quickly and be the same dog he was afterwards and never give his missing limb another thought.

Def

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We'll said! I couldn't say/agree any better.. JR

[edcgear]

Sorry to hear that!

I agree with boss, and couldn't say it better than he already did!

[Singh]

Sorry to hear about your dog.

*Getting on my soapbox* An animal doesn’t understand that certain medical procedures are for their own good. All they understand is the pain associated with said procedure. People should keep that in mind the when they put their dogs on chemotherapy. Yes, some crazy people torture their dogs with chemo. *getting off my soapbox*

Now regarding amputation, I agree with that a dog’s quality of life is not drastically affected by having three legs. (Two legs would be another matter).  I’d ask the vet about complications from amputation, like chronic pain, infections, etc. If the amputation can be done with no lasting pain and complications, then I’d do it.

[RT1969]

I can only repeat everything said here before.
It is not easy making decision about stuff you are emotionally invested in and I admire how open you talk about it.

Though we don't have a dog (yet), (we couldn't manage either financially or timely, but "Operation Dog" is a go when we settle down to start a family) I hope my point of view can help, too.

I could not see myself putting down a dog over a missing limb. We are talking about one front leg! This might sound a bit cruel, but he has 3 other legs to spare.
He can stabilize with his hind legs and with some training run as fast as before. You cannot compare this situation with a human loosing a leg.
I say if you look at the video posted above, you will see that putting him down is out of the question. There is simply no reason for that in an otherwise healthy, young dog.
Really, putting down a dog over a lost leg does only cater to the vanity of the owners.

Now to talk about whether to operate or not. Frankly, a 60% chance that the OP would bring no improvement. But every OP carries further risks. That leaves maybe a 35% chance that everything works out fine. That still does not guarantie full function in the injured leg! Cash might need special training, something a professional has to provide, driving up the cost.
Maybe if you could part easily with the cash you might think about it. Even then, I would properly not choose this way. This would also put a lot more stress on your dog, with OP, being away from his family, rehabilitation, etc.

In your situation I would say a quick, professional amputation is the best solution.

As you said yourself, it is a big emotional burden on your wife and the first impulse is to get it over, to call for quick and final solution. But I am sure your wife will calm down in the next days and I am also sure she and the kids will appreciate having Cash for years to come.

In danger of appearing cynic or mean: Think about how cool it would be for your kids not only to have an 'ordinary' dog they can boast about at school, but a special three-legged friend!


Whatever you decide, I wish your family, all 5 of you, all the best!

[Jmora]

I think the majority opinion here in favour of amputation is the most compassionate and pragmatic. I think that the more emotional issue of justifying it to your family seems the harder part. You say your wife is too distressed to take responsibility for this decision at the moment, but I think it could cause resentment in the future if everything is left for you, especially if it is the tough and pragmatic choice to allow the dog to lose a limb. Sorry if I am drawing a long bow, its just what occurs to me based on own experiences.

[MGill]

****Update: After speaking with our vet, we have decided to go ahead with the amputation. We are scheduled for surgery Monday morning. I feel good about this decision, thanks. In large part to the overwhelming response of my brothers here at MTO. Y'all will never know how much that means to me.

Once I got home this morning I talked to my wife and after having a night to think about it she is at peace with the decision. She too knows that amputation is the best option.

Thank y'all again so much for your advice I really appreciate it.


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[jzmtl]

Good to hear, let us know how it turns out!

[derekmac]

I'll make sure to say a prayer for the little guy Monday morning.  Best of luck to you all!


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