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Jokes for my work group

Grant Lamontagne · 602 · 31398
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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #240 on: April 08, 2025, 04:56:05 AM
I just got hit by a CAR!

It was a rental…

How do you know it was a RENTAL?

Because it HERTZ  !
 :facepalm:
If I start and end the day above ground, it is a good day!

Hope yours is as good!

A SMART man always knows what to say!
   A WISE man knows whether or not to say it!!!
Merit Badges Participate in a challenge by carrying  a Combo Edged knife or Multitool and post a photo of it  for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry a Victorinox Cadet and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry at least one black edc item, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days.  Carry tools with single functions only. No multi-tools, no multi-layer Swiss Army Knives, no combo one-piece tools and post a photo for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry at least one red edc item, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Start a new thread with a photo of custom or non standard SAK scales in your collection Start a new thread with photos of a Japanese made PST in your collection Start a new thread or Post in a Challenge Thread and post a photo of a Spartan  for 30 days Start a new thread with photos of at least 6 SAKs of different frame lengths and/or shapes in your collection. Eg 58mm, 74mm, 84mm regular, 84mm slim, 85mm etc Participate in a Challenge thread, carry a keychain tool with pliers, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days Participate in a Challenge thread and post a photo of a SAK-alike, aka multi-layered, knife-based pocket tools for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry at least one green edc item, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry a SAK, duct tape, and paperclip, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry a Leatherman Bond, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge and post a photo of a Utility Knife for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Delemont SAK for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a challenge by carrying  a GEC knife and post a photo of it  for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread and post a photo of  a Leatherman Micra  for 30 days Participate in a Challenge thread and post a photo of  a Opinel  knife  for 30 days Participate in a challenge by carrying  a 100mm or 108mm SAK and post a photo of it  for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Vic Spirit MT for sixty (60) consecutive days.

ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #241 on: April 08, 2025, 12:31:30 PM
Good morning everyone!

Just a warning today- I think my phone has been hacked.  If you get a message from me about canned meat, don't open it.

It's spam.

Be careful everyone- it's slippery out there!

(We are having a late season blizzard with something like 10cm of snow today.)

Def
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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #242 on: April 09, 2025, 06:43:38 AM
Did you know?

The company that has made YARD STICKS for like forever, will not make them any LONGER!
If I start and end the day above ground, it is a good day!

Hope yours is as good!

A SMART man always knows what to say!
   A WISE man knows whether or not to say it!!!
Merit Badges Participate in a challenge by carrying  a Combo Edged knife or Multitool and post a photo of it  for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry a Victorinox Cadet and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry at least one black edc item, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days.  Carry tools with single functions only. No multi-tools, no multi-layer Swiss Army Knives, no combo one-piece tools and post a photo for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry at least one red edc item, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Start a new thread with a photo of custom or non standard SAK scales in your collection Start a new thread with photos of a Japanese made PST in your collection Start a new thread or Post in a Challenge Thread and post a photo of a Spartan  for 30 days Start a new thread with photos of at least 6 SAKs of different frame lengths and/or shapes in your collection. Eg 58mm, 74mm, 84mm regular, 84mm slim, 85mm etc Participate in a Challenge thread, carry a keychain tool with pliers, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days Participate in a Challenge thread and post a photo of a SAK-alike, aka multi-layered, knife-based pocket tools for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry at least one green edc item, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry a SAK, duct tape, and paperclip, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry a Leatherman Bond, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge and post a photo of a Utility Knife for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Delemont SAK for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a challenge by carrying  a GEC knife and post a photo of it  for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread and post a photo of  a Leatherman Micra  for 30 days Participate in a Challenge thread and post a photo of  a Opinel  knife  for 30 days Participate in a challenge by carrying  a 100mm or 108mm SAK and post a photo of it  for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Vic Spirit MT for sixty (60) consecutive days.

ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #243 on: April 09, 2025, 01:04:29 PM
Good morning everyone!

I'm excited to tell you about a new project I've been working on!  I have successfully crossbred a four leaf clover with poison ivy.  I've been having a rash of good luck and I've been itching to tell you all about it!

Have a great day everyone!

Def
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ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #244 on: April 10, 2025, 01:13:15 PM
Good morning everyone!  It's almost Friday!

As you know, I am a huge supporter of skills development and often take online courses to better myself.  Most recently, I took an advanced lock picking course and it's amazing how many doors it has opened for me!

Have a great day everyone!

Def
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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #245 on: April 10, 2025, 01:19:20 PM
 :rofl: that one is good, im gonna steal it
Merit Badges Start a new thread with photos of at least 12 different Wenger models in your collection Must start a thread with a photo of at least five (5) of your watches Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Vic Spirit MT for sixty (60) consecutive days. Participate in a challenge thread and post a photo of a SAK Cybertool (any variant), Swisschamp, Champion or Toolchest for sixty (60) consecutive days. ? Must put something in order and provide link to the post. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry at least one black edc item, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry at least one red edc item, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread and post a photo of a SAK-alike, aka multi-layered, knife-based pocket tools for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a new thread with photos of at least 12 SAKs of different frame lengths and/or shapes in your collection. Eg 58mm, 74mm, 84mm regular, 84mm slim, 85mm etc Start a new thread and post a photo of the multitool for thirty (30) consecutive days. For 30 consecutive days carry a SAK with a magnifying glass, and post a picture every day in the designated thread. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry a SAK, duct tape, and paperclip, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Participate in a challenge by carrying  a Combo Edged knife or Multitool and post a photo of it  for thirty (30) consecutive days. Find him! Start a new thread with photos of at least 3 different 130mm models in your collection Start a new thread with photos of at least 5 different 111mm models in your collection Must start a thread with a photo of your camo SAK Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Alox SAK for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a new thread with photos of at least 8 different Wenger models in your collection Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Explorer SAK for thirty (30) consecutive days.

ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #246 on: April 10, 2025, 02:34:36 PM
It gets funnier because a coworker responded.  Here is what happened:

Coworker:

Well, since you are still here, Grant, I assume it has not opened the right door for you yet. Nevertheless, keep picking the locks until the right door opens, and we will all come in to pop champagne with you.


Me:

Well I have managed to open a few good doors.

On a completely unrelated note, you have a really nice house!  :-P


Coworker:

If the house is really nice, then you probably opened my neighbour's door since I have three boys who often mistake my house for a soccer field.

Absolutely classic!

Def
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Merit Badges Take part in the christmas pool or a rak type giveaway. Those wanting to say thank you for a rak may also nominate for the santa. For those who posted like a boss. Post your pocket dump photos then challenge two more members who must post their pocket dump photos within 24hrs for you to get the badge. Start a new thread with a photo of custom or non standard SAK scales in your collection Start a thread with a photo of a repair you made with duct tape Start a new thread including a photo of shooting at least two (2) different airguns and at least one (1) photo of target (airguns) Start a thread with a photo of at least ten OPT's in your collection Must start a thread with a photo of at least five (5) of your watches Must start a thread showing a photo of at least eight BO tools Start a thread with photos of at least 1 MTO branded tool in your collection Start a new thread showing photos of your outdoor cooking Must have a review written in the proper format and posted on the Main Site Start a new thread with a photo of at least 5 different Charge models in your collection

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #247 on: April 10, 2025, 02:40:34 PM
 :rofl: :rofl: awesome answer  :like: :like:
Merit Badges Start a new thread with photos of at least 12 different Wenger models in your collection Must start a thread with a photo of at least five (5) of your watches Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Vic Spirit MT for sixty (60) consecutive days. Participate in a challenge thread and post a photo of a SAK Cybertool (any variant), Swisschamp, Champion or Toolchest for sixty (60) consecutive days. ? Must put something in order and provide link to the post. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry at least one black edc item, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry at least one red edc item, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread and post a photo of a SAK-alike, aka multi-layered, knife-based pocket tools for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a new thread with photos of at least 12 SAKs of different frame lengths and/or shapes in your collection. Eg 58mm, 74mm, 84mm regular, 84mm slim, 85mm etc Start a new thread and post a photo of the multitool for thirty (30) consecutive days. For 30 consecutive days carry a SAK with a magnifying glass, and post a picture every day in the designated thread. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry a SAK, duct tape, and paperclip, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Participate in a challenge by carrying  a Combo Edged knife or Multitool and post a photo of it  for thirty (30) consecutive days. Find him! Start a new thread with photos of at least 3 different 130mm models in your collection Start a new thread with photos of at least 5 different 111mm models in your collection Must start a thread with a photo of your camo SAK Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Alox SAK for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a new thread with photos of at least 8 different Wenger models in your collection Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Explorer SAK for thirty (30) consecutive days.

us Offline Farmer X

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #248 on: April 10, 2025, 05:15:11 PM
 :rofl: In my case, it's cats that do their best to trash the house. They succeed more often than not. :facepalm:
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Merit Badges Participants shall carry and use one Soldier knife, the model of their choosing, for the duration of the 90 days and post a picture each day. Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Farmer X SAK for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Delemont SAK for thirty (30) consecutive days. Must put something in order and provide link to the post. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry at least one black edc item, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days.  Carry tools with single functions only. No multi-tools, no multi-layer Swiss Army Knives, no combo one-piece tools and post a photo for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a new thread or Post in a Challenge Thread and post a photo of a Spartan  for 30 days Start a new thread with photos of at least 6 SAKs of different frame lengths and/or shapes in your collection. Eg 58mm, 74mm, 84mm regular, 84mm slim, 85mm etc Participate in a Challenge thread and post a photo of a SAK-alike, aka multi-layered, knife-based pocket tools for thirty (30) consecutive days. Find him! Participate in a Challenge thread, carry knife/tool with a blade 4" or longer, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry at least one green edc item, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry a Victorinox Hiker, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Must start a thread with a photo of at least five (5) of your watches Build your own version of an MRE using off-the-shelf components, post a photo of the completed MRE and store at room temperature for 6 days or more. Consume the MRE after the storage period and post pictures and descriptions of the contents. Take part in the christmas pool or a rak type giveaway. Those wanting to say thank you for a rak may also nominate for the santa. Participate in a Challenge and post a photo of a Utility Knife for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate  in a Challenge thread and post a photo of a LM Pocket Survival Tool for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a new thread and post a photo of the multitool for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a new thread and post a photo of the pen for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a new thread with photos of your zip ties in use

ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #249 on: April 11, 2025, 12:43:36 PM
Good morning everyone!  We made it to another Friday!

Last night Megan and I went shopping for a new bedspread and I found one that I really liked.  I asked a salesperson what it was made of that made it so soft.

He just said "Duck down."

So I crouched on the floor and asked him again what it was made of.

Also, for the fun of it, here is a short video I shot this morning as they get the crane ready!

https://youtu.be/DAoQ4RXiUkQ?si=ska68kKFt6LHbjq5

Have a great day and an even better weekend everyone!

Def
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ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #250 on: April 14, 2025, 12:59:05 PM
Good morning to everyone, on a dreary Monday!

For the past week or so something strange has been happening and maybe you can all help me figure it out.  Someone has been leaving piles of random Lego blocks on my doorstep.

I don't know what to make of it.

Have a great day everyone!

Def
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Merit Badges Take part in the christmas pool or a rak type giveaway. Those wanting to say thank you for a rak may also nominate for the santa. For those who posted like a boss. Post your pocket dump photos then challenge two more members who must post their pocket dump photos within 24hrs for you to get the badge. Start a new thread with a photo of custom or non standard SAK scales in your collection Start a thread with a photo of a repair you made with duct tape Start a new thread including a photo of shooting at least two (2) different airguns and at least one (1) photo of target (airguns) Start a thread with a photo of at least ten OPT's in your collection Must start a thread with a photo of at least five (5) of your watches Must start a thread showing a photo of at least eight BO tools Start a thread with photos of at least 1 MTO branded tool in your collection Start a new thread showing photos of your outdoor cooking Must have a review written in the proper format and posted on the Main Site Start a new thread with a photo of at least 5 different Charge models in your collection

ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #251 on: April 15, 2025, 12:56:25 PM
Good morning everyone!

You know, we all have our moments. I was in a bar the other night and suddenly the music stopped and the bartender yelled "Does anyone know CPR?"

I replied "I do- in fact, I know the whole alphabet!"

Everyone started laughing except this one guy who just laid there on the floor.

What a jerk.

Have a great day everyone!

Def
Listen to the Official Podcast of Multitool.org:

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Merit Badges Take part in the christmas pool or a rak type giveaway. Those wanting to say thank you for a rak may also nominate for the santa. For those who posted like a boss. Post your pocket dump photos then challenge two more members who must post their pocket dump photos within 24hrs for you to get the badge. Start a new thread with a photo of custom or non standard SAK scales in your collection Start a thread with a photo of a repair you made with duct tape Start a new thread including a photo of shooting at least two (2) different airguns and at least one (1) photo of target (airguns) Start a thread with a photo of at least ten OPT's in your collection Must start a thread with a photo of at least five (5) of your watches Must start a thread showing a photo of at least eight BO tools Start a thread with photos of at least 1 MTO branded tool in your collection Start a new thread showing photos of your outdoor cooking Must have a review written in the proper format and posted on the Main Site Start a new thread with a photo of at least 5 different Charge models in your collection

us Offline Farmer X

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #252 on: April 16, 2025, 02:41:35 AM
Quote from: Grant Lamontagne on April 14, 2025, 12:59:05 PM
Someone has been leaving piles of random Lego blocks on my doorstep.

I don't know what to make of it.
Sounds to me like a good problem to have!
USN 2000-2006

Culling of the knife and multi herds in progress...

If I pay five figures for something, it better have wings or a foundation!
Merit Badges Participants shall carry and use one Soldier knife, the model of their choosing, for the duration of the 90 days and post a picture each day. Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Farmer X SAK for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Delemont SAK for thirty (30) consecutive days. Must put something in order and provide link to the post. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry at least one black edc item, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days.  Carry tools with single functions only. No multi-tools, no multi-layer Swiss Army Knives, no combo one-piece tools and post a photo for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a new thread or Post in a Challenge Thread and post a photo of a Spartan  for 30 days Start a new thread with photos of at least 6 SAKs of different frame lengths and/or shapes in your collection. Eg 58mm, 74mm, 84mm regular, 84mm slim, 85mm etc Participate in a Challenge thread and post a photo of a SAK-alike, aka multi-layered, knife-based pocket tools for thirty (30) consecutive days. Find him! Participate in a Challenge thread, carry knife/tool with a blade 4" or longer, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry at least one green edc item, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry a Victorinox Hiker, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Must start a thread with a photo of at least five (5) of your watches Build your own version of an MRE using off-the-shelf components, post a photo of the completed MRE and store at room temperature for 6 days or more. Consume the MRE after the storage period and post pictures and descriptions of the contents. Take part in the christmas pool or a rak type giveaway. Those wanting to say thank you for a rak may also nominate for the santa. Participate in a Challenge and post a photo of a Utility Knife for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate  in a Challenge thread and post a photo of a LM Pocket Survival Tool for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a new thread and post a photo of the multitool for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a new thread and post a photo of the pen for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a new thread with photos of your zip ties in use

ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #253 on: April 16, 2025, 12:32:50 PM
Good morning everyone!

I have been doing some work on my house lately. I just refinished a section of my ceiling.  It's not the best job ever done but it's up there.

Have a great day everyone!

Def
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ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #254 on: April 17, 2025, 12:09:49 PM
Good morning everyone!  It's Thursday but tomorrow is a holiday, so this is it for this week!  I hope you all have an egg-ceptional Easter weekend!  To help you get started, here are some absolutely terrible Easter themed jokes for you all!

Q- Why is the Easter Bunny a rabbit?

A- Because if it was the Easter Duck all of the eggs would get quacked!

Q- did you hear about the Easter Egg that went to a salon?

A- she needed a dye job!

Therapist- And what seems to be the problem?

Chocolate Easter Bunny- I don't know, I just feel hollow inside.

Q- Why did the Easter egg hide?

A- Because it was a little chicken!

I hope you all have something great in store for you, and I'll see you all again on Tuesday!

Def
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ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #255 on: April 17, 2025, 12:11:06 PM
(In parts of Canada Easter Monday is considered a holiday, mostly because Easter is the actual holiday, but since it takes place on a Sunday, the holiday status is carried to Monday.)

Def
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fr Offline Frenchephaistos

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #256 on: April 17, 2025, 10:45:30 PM
Quote from: Grant Lamontagne on April 17, 2025, 12:11:06 PM
(In parts of Canada Easter Monday is considered a holiday, mostly because Easter is the actual holiday, but since it takes place on a Sunday, the holiday status is carried to Monday.)

Def
I understand that historically, it served to give people time to recoup from the all-nighter/full Sunday religious celebration, especially in Catholic or Eastern Orthodox traditions which can go on almost all night (in your part of the world, may be in connection with the parts of Canada with old ties with the French ?). I know for me, I'll be up late Saturday, up early in the morning, and busy all day Sunday until sundown, so I for one am grateful I can sleep in a bit on Monday.   :D
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ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #257 on: April 18, 2025, 01:00:15 AM
It very well could be. We are very heavily influenced by French culture here.   :tu:

Whatever the reason, I worked all last weekend as well, so I am looking forward to having an extra long weekend now.  Four days won't be enough, but I'm sure I'll make the best of it!

Def
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us Offline Farmer X

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #258 on: April 18, 2025, 03:35:19 AM
Good Friday and Easter have kinda variable status in the States. I had plans to go to the library on Saturday, but I might have to back burner those until Monday. We shall see. Hope everyone has a fantastic holiday!
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ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #259 on: April 22, 2025, 01:24:18 PM
Good morning everyone!

I hope you all had a great weekend!  Megan and I went to the Valley to see the buds on the trees in the orchards.  Apparently I misunderstood and that's not the Apple Watch she had in mind.

Have a great day everyone!

Def
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us Online LoopCutter

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #260 on: April 22, 2025, 06:23:41 PM
Many folk are not aware, that when you measure your hand in inches, it very rarely measures over eleven inches. 

If it DOES it is a FOOT😎
If I start and end the day above ground, it is a good day!

Hope yours is as good!

A SMART man always knows what to say!
   A WISE man knows whether or not to say it!!!
Merit Badges Participate in a challenge by carrying  a Combo Edged knife or Multitool and post a photo of it  for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry a Victorinox Cadet and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry at least one black edc item, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days.  Carry tools with single functions only. No multi-tools, no multi-layer Swiss Army Knives, no combo one-piece tools and post a photo for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry at least one red edc item, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Start a new thread with a photo of custom or non standard SAK scales in your collection Start a new thread with photos of a Japanese made PST in your collection Start a new thread or Post in a Challenge Thread and post a photo of a Spartan  for 30 days Start a new thread with photos of at least 6 SAKs of different frame lengths and/or shapes in your collection. Eg 58mm, 74mm, 84mm regular, 84mm slim, 85mm etc Participate in a Challenge thread, carry a keychain tool with pliers, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days Participate in a Challenge thread and post a photo of a SAK-alike, aka multi-layered, knife-based pocket tools for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry at least one green edc item, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry a SAK, duct tape, and paperclip, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry a Leatherman Bond, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge and post a photo of a Utility Knife for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Delemont SAK for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a challenge by carrying  a GEC knife and post a photo of it  for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread and post a photo of  a Leatherman Micra  for 30 days Participate in a Challenge thread and post a photo of  a Opinel  knife  for 30 days Participate in a challenge by carrying  a 100mm or 108mm SAK and post a photo of it  for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Vic Spirit MT for sixty (60) consecutive days.

us Offline Farmer X

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #261 on: April 23, 2025, 02:48:56 AM
A truck carrying Vicks Vapo-Rub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours.
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Culling of the knife and multi herds in progress...

If I pay five figures for something, it better have wings or a foundation!
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ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #262 on: April 23, 2025, 12:19:15 PM
Those are good ones guys!  I may have to use them sometimes!

Here is today's:

Good morning everyone!

You know, when I was younger I used to only date lawyers, but not anymore.  I don't know why, they just lost their appeal.

Have a great day everyone!

Def
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ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #263 on: April 24, 2025, 12:22:56 PM
Good morning everyone!

I was walking through the jungle and I was sure I heard a voice, so I followed the sound.  I eventually got to a clearing where a bunch of animals were sitting in a semi circle, watching this one lizard that was up on his hind legs telling jokes.  I listened for a while and he was actually pretty funny.

I leaned over to the little bird perched next to me and I said "this lizard is pretty funny!"

"He's not a lizard" the bird replied. "He's a stand up chameleon."

Have a great day everyone!

Def
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us Offline Farmer X

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #264 on: April 25, 2025, 02:13:05 AM
 :rofl:
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Culling of the knife and multi herds in progress...

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ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #265 on: April 25, 2025, 12:21:13 PM
Good morning everyone- it's FRIDAY!

The weirdest thing happened to me while I was walking down the street last night.  I was just minding my own business when I got hit by, of all things, a trumpet.

I was confused for a moment when I was hit again, this time by a violin, which confused me even more, when I was suddenly hit yet again by a French horn, and again by a xylophone.

That's when the police arrived and they described it as an orchestrated attack.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Def
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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #266 on: April 26, 2025, 04:45:56 PM
Went out dinner at a nice restaurant!

I apparently had slowed my pace eating, the waiter asked if  I wanted a box for my leftovers.  I said NO, I do not like  fighting.

If I start and end the day above ground, it is a good day!

Hope yours is as good!

A SMART man always knows what to say!
   A WISE man knows whether or not to say it!!!
Merit Badges Participate in a challenge by carrying  a Combo Edged knife or Multitool and post a photo of it  for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry a Victorinox Cadet and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry at least one black edc item, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days.  Carry tools with single functions only. No multi-tools, no multi-layer Swiss Army Knives, no combo one-piece tools and post a photo for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry at least one red edc item, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Start a new thread with a photo of custom or non standard SAK scales in your collection Start a new thread with photos of a Japanese made PST in your collection Start a new thread or Post in a Challenge Thread and post a photo of a Spartan  for 30 days Start a new thread with photos of at least 6 SAKs of different frame lengths and/or shapes in your collection. Eg 58mm, 74mm, 84mm regular, 84mm slim, 85mm etc Participate in a Challenge thread, carry a keychain tool with pliers, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days Participate in a Challenge thread and post a photo of a SAK-alike, aka multi-layered, knife-based pocket tools for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry at least one green edc item, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry a SAK, duct tape, and paperclip, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry a Leatherman Bond, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge and post a photo of a Utility Knife for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Delemont SAK for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a challenge by carrying  a GEC knife and post a photo of it  for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread and post a photo of  a Leatherman Micra  for 30 days Participate in a Challenge thread and post a photo of  a Opinel  knife  for 30 days Participate in a challenge by carrying  a 100mm or 108mm SAK and post a photo of it  for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Vic Spirit MT for sixty (60) consecutive days.

ca Offline Grant Lamontagne

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #267 on: April 28, 2025, 12:08:04 PM
Good morning everyone, and happy Monday!

Some of you have asked why I am the way I am, and I can tell you that I come by it honestly. 

My grandfather, for example, had the heart of a lion. 

And a lifetime ban from the zoo.

Have a great day everyone!

Def
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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #268 on: April 29, 2025, 12:18:21 PM
Good morning everyone!

You know, when I took this job I was told it would open a lot of doors for me.

I just didn't realize that those doors would be labeled "Psychiatrist" or "Therapy" or "Liquor Store."

Have a great day everyone and be safe out there!

Def
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us Offline Farmer X

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Re: Jokes for my work group
Reply #269 on: April 29, 2025, 07:50:35 PM
I can relate! :rofl:
USN 2000-2006

Culling of the knife and multi herds in progress...

If I pay five figures for something, it better have wings or a foundation!
Merit Badges Participants shall carry and use one Soldier knife, the model of their choosing, for the duration of the 90 days and post a picture each day. Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Farmer X SAK for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate  in Challenge thread and post a photo of a Delemont SAK for thirty (30) consecutive days. Must put something in order and provide link to the post. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry at least one black edc item, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days.  Carry tools with single functions only. No multi-tools, no multi-layer Swiss Army Knives, no combo one-piece tools and post a photo for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a new thread or Post in a Challenge Thread and post a photo of a Spartan  for 30 days Start a new thread with photos of at least 6 SAKs of different frame lengths and/or shapes in your collection. Eg 58mm, 74mm, 84mm regular, 84mm slim, 85mm etc Participate in a Challenge thread and post a photo of a SAK-alike, aka multi-layered, knife-based pocket tools for thirty (30) consecutive days. Find him! Participate in a Challenge thread, carry knife/tool with a blade 4" or longer, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry at least one green edc item, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Participate in a Challenge thread, carry a Victorinox Hiker, and post a photo every day for 30 consecutive days. Must start a thread with a photo of at least five (5) of your watches Build your own version of an MRE using off-the-shelf components, post a photo of the completed MRE and store at room temperature for 6 days or more. Consume the MRE after the storage period and post pictures and descriptions of the contents. Take part in the christmas pool or a rak type giveaway. Those wanting to say thank you for a rak may also nominate for the santa. Participate in a Challenge and post a photo of a Utility Knife for thirty (30) consecutive days. Participate  in a Challenge thread and post a photo of a LM Pocket Survival Tool for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a new thread and post a photo of the multitool for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a new thread and post a photo of the pen for thirty (30) consecutive days. Start a new thread with photos of your zip ties in use

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